Weekly Update #7

It's really intense that somehow I've been here more than a month, and almost a month and a half! Though there were definitely days this week where I felt like there was unrest and frustration in my soul, I'm starting to feel like things are working out, that this summer program is going to be (to be a success, we will have to find out), but it's going to happen!

We've held volunteer trainings all week, and though it felt a littlr rocky as it began, as time went on, more people came, more people were interested in doing different things, and it's going to work out! Christa and I somehow finished manuals for the volunteer training! (it seemed impossible).

Besides the evening volunteer trainings, most of the Leadership Team attempted to go to the church to pray in the early mornings--i.e. 6:30am--every day. I went to almost all of them--this morning was a sleep-in day for me.

P.S. 22 also had it's last week of school, minus the half day which is on Monday. There was a fifth grade graduation today, which Daniel and I attended, in support of some of the fifth graders in the after school program, and also that I have seen at the lunch table when I have volunteered there.

For most of the kids at P.S. 22, the last day that they got to see me at the lunch time was yesterday, and some today, because of their graduation, because it is the end of school, and I'm not going to be in the lunchroom anymore, or outside the school handing out flyers. If they are going to the summer program, they will see me all summer long, and some of them are. But it seems like the ones that I got to know the most aren't coming--they have other plans for the summer, and that's fine, but I will miss them. I'll miss Allison, who is completely adorable and a dork!

Next week, I will be at Camp Deerpark, training with Christa and Daniel for the Camp half of the summer program. We are hoping to bring a couple volunteers with us, but it isn't really defined until we actually leave. We come back from training on July 2nd, and then the program starts on the 6th!

Prayer Requests and Praises:
--Things are working out!
--That everyone who feels called to volunteer would be proactive about it and come!

--For the next week's training, prayer that there won't be any injuries and that we can bond as a leadership team.

Update #6

This week was busy, but not horribly busy. I've been getting things done, and feeling like what I'm doing is  relevant for what this summer is about. Here's a couple things I was up to:

CPR training--On Thursday, we drove to Bushkill, Pennsylvania, and went to Mont Lawn Camp for CPR training. I had a great time meeting so many different awesome people. The training was intensive and good--it built up my confidence, but I hope I never have to use the skills. It was great to be in the nature and I hadn't realized how great it was to be out there again.

Training plans--We had a volunteer meeting on Wednesday, and he two people show up to listen. Mark and I did some extensive planning for what our training entailed on Friday, and it's looking good.

After-school--Spending more time with those kids. Good and frustrating at the same time. I'm getting more patient with some of them because I have been thinking about different ways to approach teaching them.

Day Off--I got a day off this week. On Monday, I went for a run, and cleaned. It was nice.

Cafeteria work--My relationships with the kids are growing. Like with after-school I'm learning different ways to relate to the kids, and get to know them better. They are great and different, and I love talking to them about their lives and what they are interested in.

Flyers--Christa and I taped flyers to our shirts and lots of people were interested. I ran up and down the hill with two kindergarteners a couple times while eating a cherry icee. Several people picked up flyers with serious interest. The second day that I was at the school after school, a Muslim mother approached me and asked me to give her some registration forms. (so excited--she's bringing four kids into the program!!)

And then there were other things that I was up to Worship Practice and Worship team, on Sunday.
Food pantry-- which was outside today because of the graduation at Flushing Christian School.
Seeker's picnic---later on Saturday, we went to the picnic for all the Christian high school Seekers groups, and handed out flyers for those that might be interested in volunteering for the program. Our volunteer training starts tonight! Pray that there are enough volunteers--the amount of kids that we have signed up for the program is rising and rising--we have close to twenty, ang might have even more because people are still interested.

The Shack--Lily lent me this book to read, and I've been working through it. I'm almost done, and it's been really challenging in some areas. One phrase that Papa said that struck me was, "Do you see God when you think about your future?" And I realized that sometimes I do, in the aspect of where I want Him to lead me, but sometimes, when I look at bleak things, like money, or ever getting through college and finally having a degree, I don't let Him in. So I've been working to let him in, and now I have peace about those things.

Prayer requests and Praises
--volunteers for the program. We have kids, not we need people to help us!
--rest--we are starting to reshuffle our sleeping schedules, and getting up to pray at 6:30 in the morning.
--Praise that my school financial stuff doesn't seem so bleak!
--Praise that the Schools are finally ending and this program is kicking off.

Financial Aid (?)

This always happens. It happened last year, and now it's happening again. Most people would look at me and say, "Well, you've already got three years of college under your belt, you've only got one more!" But it's not like I have just one more. I have two more. Maybe five semesters. So it's so frustrating when I don't get the financial aid that I need. I'm in Flushing this summer. I'm doing mission work, and I'm not working at a job that will make me money so that I can go to school.
How the heck am I supposed to get $3,600 for next year if I'm working a negative job. It's not like I'll get paid the extra money people gave me for my trip if I don't spend it. And I'm also not really qualified to do anything besides work at a summer camp or a daycare or teach piano lessons. And if I don't get paid to do any of those things, then is school even going to happen this year?
We all talk about how college is shaping and the friends are wonderful. I agree. Friends are wonderful, and they challenge me and make me better, but if I can't provide for myself, then there's really nothing that I can  feel but stressed about money and worried that these things won't happen.
I want to be able to provide for myself, and live sustainably. I would like to get a job and play gigs, in all honesty. I would rather play music than be at school. And I know that getting a degree is great, because then it's something to fall back on. But aren't internships better? Isn't one-to-one learning how they did it before they wrote the textbooks? Aren't all the ideas that people come up with from observation anyway? Not just something that they learned in a book?
All these things become fire in my belly, and I wish that the right person would hear it and fund my freaking education. The hardest part for me is that I don't even know if Social work is something I should do. It's a great idea, and I love the thought of being able to solve someone's problems and helping uncorupt the system, but the reason that I haven't declared anything is because I'm still uncertain. Last semester I went from one idea to another for days and days and weeks and weeks because I couldn't make up my mind, that I cannot define that the one thing that I'm meant to do is go to school. What if going to school isn't what I'm supposed to do? I mean it could be, but ever since I've had a break from the classroom, I'm much more driven to drive--and to be. So maybe school isn't it for me right now. I wish that I could say that after all this time I'm ok with going back to school and becoming a great amazing Social worker, but I like doing those things for fun. I like it when you get paid for fun, but when I can be my own person. I feel like training strains and pushes into a cookie cutter. I hate that all the people I look up to went to college, and I can't make up my mind or suck it up and just finish the four years.
There are so many reasons that I went to Akron in high school--and one of those reasons was to avoid some of the pains of debt and such. It doesn't help that I paid for it last year and I still feel like I'm starting all over again. Ugh Ugh. I pray that everything works out, and that I can make it through school.

Who I am/Weekly Update.

I feel like it's something that I redefine myself with every week or so. But we've been talking about so many things that define us, but don't have to do with our physical identities here on earth. What does it mean to be identified as a Lover of God, and nothing else?

As I look at all the things that I have done and gone through to get to this point, I know that there have been times when I have not been defined as a Lover of God. There are people who see it in me, and know that it is the reason that I exist and continue to exist. I hope and pray that this summer, I have, and will continue to portray a Lover of God, and do these things here and now, because I love God.

This past week was a wave of rest and change. It did not feel as hectic as the week before, but I felt like I was getting to know the inside of my house way too well, and seeing the bottom of a peanut butter jar way too fast. There was some peace in this, knowing that even though I'm extroverted, it's good to take some time off to think, and take a breather. But this week starts the balance between the busy and the hermit.

Last week I had a chance to go to the Museum of Modern Art, and see Norah Jones in concert (for a couple songs). We also enjoyed some coffee, a trip to Burger Heaven (where I was greeted by some Vegetarian Chili, and no Burgers were thrust in my way.) At the concert, we were compromised by the rain, and that everyone making the ocean of umbrellas that was our view of the concert, and thus, the umbrellas were dripping on me and Christa, and so we were catching drips in cups, but we still got soaked, completely chilled, and disenchanted, we took the subway home.

I was blessed by being able to talk to Zach on Skype, although I had no idea that he was going to be on that day. I got a phone call from D, saying that he was online, and I ran home. Literally. It was wonderful. Then I got to talk to him the next day, on his birthday. It's so good to reconnect with him, and I cannot wait until he's back in the United States. Things make sense when I spend time with him. He makes me a better person.

I had a great discussion with someone who told me to make sure that while I was here, to not just be known as Grace, the intern we had over the summer, but to be known as Grace, a girl who was here this summer, who was here. To find my identity as a Lover of God. It's been in my thoughts for a little while.

I got my financial aid package in the mail, via my mother. At first, it looked really good, but then I realized that there was a couple thousand dollars that I needed that weren't accounted for, and so now I'm a bit frustrated with the system. Why should it cost so much to go to school, to follow dreams? I'm getting in contact with the financial aid office at EMU, just to make sure that there weren't things accidently left off, but in the mean time, I'm dealing with some major frustration, and occasionally thinking about trying to find a different way out--like looking at jobs and internships (I saw one at PETA that I was interested in). But I don't want to take things into my own hands. That's not what God wants for me. An example of God providing for me--for this trip--is on replay in my head, reminding me that when I need the funds, and I'm going where God wants me to go, these fund appear, and they are in surplus. I have been blessed to be sent here, and I'm so thankful for every single penny. But what if I'm not funded for school? What if that doesn't happen this semester? Does that mean that God is asking me to go somewhere else? Or is he asking me not to go anywhere, to stay here?


Prayer requests:
Patience--I seem to have less and less of it lately
Peace--about my financial aid, and my future
Perseverance-- some days, the after-school program just overcomes me, and completely drains me
Praises:
I've been writing music, and running.

Urbanbusy

I have been really busy this week.

We've had meetings everyday about the summer program, and then I've gone to PS 22 to hang out with the kids. One of the days I brought over some of the flyers for the kids. I brought around ten or something, and within talking to two tables, all my flyers were gone, and i hope that these kids are really interested in this program. 

I have felt really welcomed into the school. Lily, who is the parent coordinator of the school, continues to invite me and Christa to hang out and talk with her after lunch is over, and it has been great. I've also gotten a chance to get to know Tracey, who is the security guard for the school. The even more awesome thing is that Lily has gone into the kitchen after the school is done, and found something vegan for me to eat. I'm so thankful for that option. 

There was an intergenerational bible study meeting on Friday that was really great. We separated into smaller groups and then were discussing what Mark talked about, but our group's discussion went from "do you want to receive the holy spirit?" to "Do you want to become a Christian?" and it was a great great discussion, and a couple of the girls said that they wanted to become Christians.

On Saturday, I worked at the food pantry again. Going through the clothes that were set out, I found a pair of shorts that looked like they would fit me, ran off to the bathroom, changed, and then I had a new pair of shorts. This was a blessing because I needed a pair of shorts. 

Later in the day, Christa needed to go to the bank, and I needed to go grocery shopping, but was being lazy about it, so we got proactive and headed over the H Mart. I got everything I needed, which was more than was on my list, and more than Christa predicted I would need money-wise, and we got to the checkout line and I went over by thirty three cents. The cashier, after what seemed like two or three minutes, but must have been shorter than that, she said that it was fine, but that I "owed her" and pointed to her name tag and her aisle number. 

I walked home with all of my groceries, got thirty-three cents, walked back to the H-Mart, gave it to her, introduced myself, and then went on my way. I didn't think I should do it any other way. 

I got to have dinner with a lady from the church at a vegan restaurant called "Happy Buddha." It was so good. I had vegan cheesecake (which I vow to make at some point) and "triple Mushroom Delight" (which was completely delightful). I think there are more people who want to take me there, so I may or may not get to go again and try something different. I can't wait!

I sang on the worship team today. There is a team of people from Texas who come to New York routinely, and they have a prayer station. They were at church, and one of theirs brought the message. 

There was a Street Fair this afternoon (which, to give a comparison to my mother, is very similar if not the same as a Streetsboro Family Days), and they set up the prayer station there. I didn't really feel like there was anything that I was supposed to do at that point--handing out tracts isn't my thing, so I wandered around the fair and then went and sat by the prayer station, and ended up talking to Yusup for the next hour or it seemed, until it started raining and everyone started leaving.
It poured, and kids screamed with joyous laughter. Some people hurried, while I just walked solowly, taking in the increditbility of being wet, and experiencing something like this and being free to experience it. yay for pouring rain.

Prayer requests and praises.
--Praise that I am blessed with so many people and opportunities. Pray that I get enough rest and time by myself with God.
--Pray that God will speak enthusiasm into high schoolers to volunteer for the summer program. Pray against inhibitors and the evil of the human nature.

Thoughts over the past week

God has been stirring my heart recently. More like the speed that you need to make egg whites form stiff peaks, though. So as you imagine that, take this in as well.

Why do you call me "Lord, Lord," and do not do what I do? I tell you the truth, the man who listens to what I say and puts it into practice is like a wise man who built his house upon the rock. When the flood came, torrents beat against the house, but because the foundation was on the rock, it was NOT moved. But listening to what I say and not putting it into practice is like the man who built his house upon the sand. The flood came, and when the torrent hit the house, it was completely destroyed. Luke 6:46-49ish

(That would be the Grace translation, because it's been meditated in my mind for a little while)

For the past week or so, I have been attempting to find a theme for the Summer Program--either for the staff, or so the kids, and it seems that it only made it's way into my heart.

I was thinking we should do daily themes on the fruits of the spirit, but then I realized that we should be doing that ANYWAY, and it frustrated me. I read this verse, and was floored, because all the things that God wants us to do, like conflict resolution and teachings, should be led out in our everyday lives--Loving your enemies, not judging others, constantly being accountable to each other for the planks in our own eyes/lives.

So when I brought up the idea--or my process, and exclaimed my own feelings about the passage, Mark suggested the Beautitudes.

Blessed are the poor in spirit,
theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted,
Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God
Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called Sons of God
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

What do the verses with the word "righteousness" mean to you?
Last Friday, we had our Young Adult meeting, and we talked about Romans 3. Weslea was talking about that word, along with the word "justified" and how Christ justified us, so that we can be with Christ in the end.
When you hunger and thirst for righteousness, is that sitting sitll in your belif? No, it's not. It's being proactive and letting Jesus lead your actions. When you are persecuted for righteousness, is it because you are a passive Christian? No! It's because there is NO DOUBT that you are proclaiming for Jesus' love, death, and then life!

Intensity is Rising.

Since my last update only one week has past, but it seems like enough for a summer.

I celebrated my 19th birthday this past Sunday and Monday. Because I was calling Zach, and Hannah really wanted to see the Lost finale, we had to save part of our adventure for the next day.

But the day was full of first times--my landlord said that I could use her truck this summer (she has two cars), and so we took it to Astoria--that was ok. We got lost three times before we finally made it there. I allmost drove through a red light. But then we had to park the truck. My parallel parking is really really weak, and there were no parking spots that could fit this car. We finally found a spot, and then attempted to park for the next forty five minutes. And finally got it. And--no joke, we had a six inches to a foot between the other cars. It was insane. I don't like the idea of parallel parking. Ohio driver's tests do NOT prepare you for that. Everything would be completely different if I actually had a car, not a truck. Anyway, we finally made it to the resturaunt, and had some great food. Red Sonjas, made from Red Lentils, delicious falafel, and some stuffed zucchini (though I am incertain as to how and where the zucchini was stuffed. It was really good.)

Because Hannah was in such a hurry to get home to watch Lost, though Christa's mom taped it for her, she had her mom drive out to meet us there, and then I followed her home after she very convienently got the car out of the parking spot. We drove over to Christa's house and we made vegan cupcakes while waiting for the Lost  finale to be finished. The fanagled with candles and got 15 + 4 to equal nineteen for my birthday candles. After that, we all went home.

On Monday, Christa and I both had a morning meeting to plan and prepare for our summer program, and then along with Hannah, we went to Manhattan. We took the Metro there, and went all over the place. I couldn't even tell you all the places that we went to. We mostly went shopping. The dress I was wearing that day (which I got at Walmart last August for $3) was at one of the stores, for $8.

I bought some socks at The Sock Man, and we had Falafel for one dollar. We went to Central Park and walked through part of Hannah's school. We got coffee and went to Walgreens and Jamba Juice. We went everywhere, and must have walked for eight hours. We got home around ten, and then Hannah and I walked back to our house from Main Street.

We have been planning this summer program for kids, and it has been really intense lately--Monday's meeting we planned out so much that needed to be done, yet by today, I think we have finished most of them. This week's goal was getting flyers out to parents who might be interested and we were working with the Parent Coordinator at Public School 22 and Christa and I got to "volunteer" with the kids in the cafeteria during lunch time. I went on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and I have had such a blst iwth those kids. There are so many kids. Most of them are Chinese, there's some kids from Haiti, Mexico, Pakistan, it's insane how many weren't born here. Most of them wonder why I'm there, and I tell them that I just want to hang out with them. It's impossible to hear them when they tell me their names in that cafeteria. I remember a couple. Some kids are really interested in me, and why I'm there, and others could care less, but certainly when I get behind the piano (in the cafeteria, no less) they run over and see who is playing. On Thursday, it seemed to be like a riot--they were all pushing to see me, and were squishing others. That was intense, and I stopped playing when that happened. Sometimes I forget I'm white, and that I look different from these kids. On the first day that I went into the cafeteria, there was a little girl who asked me if anyone in my family was famous. I told her that my younger sister was going to be an opera singer, and that I wrote music but wasn't famous, and then she said, "No, I mean in history, like from the American Revolution," which was when I told her my ancestors only came to America in the mid-1800s.

Thursday night there was a PTA sponsered concert that we handed out flyers at. Many MANY parents were interested once we mentioned the first "free" portion (we are doing a morning portion, including breakfast and lunch, that is completely free).

Today is Hannah's birthday, and after we talked about having a meeting for worship practice, it didn't actually happen, and instead, I got to go with Hannah, Christa, and Annabelle (Hannah's mom) and look for a tattoo parlor. We had empanadas--mine was made with corn flour and veggies inside, and tasted a little like Fritos on the outside.

So far, I've just experienced so much! There are so many people I've met, though a lot of them are in Kindergarten through fifth grade, and I cannot wait to meet more of them!

Prayer requests:
--I seem to be lacking energy and getting headaches halfway through the day. . and the sore throat and sinus stuff  that I had last week has been hanging around.
--Spanish again. I mostly feel like my communication is pretty weak, and I need paryer for that.
--Pray that I make sure I have balance in what I'm doing, and not overschedule.. It's something that I like to do without realizing it.

Week Update #2

This is an interesting moment to take in, as I write my update, and listen to the Muslim boys in the basement say their evening prayers. God works there too, and I pray that there is something that will let these wonderful people that God is also a gentle God, is a Father God, and sent His Son Jesus to take away sin. 

The past few days have flown by and have been full of different things that I've done so much that I feel like it's been weeks. And yet I have now been in Queens already and only a week. 

This past Saturday, I spend time working at a Food Pantry. I put carrots and potatoes in bags, and then handed then to some of the people that came to the Pantry. There were people from all sorts of ethnicities. African, Latino, Indian, Chinese, and Korean. Some were homeless, some looked like they were okay. Some looked like they needed this boost. I met several people that time. Pastor Conrad let me in, and he was very kind. There were a bunch of older ladies that were sweet, and very supportive. 

Mark took me to Main St. in Flushing, by the Queens library. There were people from StreetLife who were handing out tracts and talking to people. There was a man who was mad that they were in front of the library and called the cops, who thought that it was completely fine that they were there. Main Street looked like Beijing with all of the signs in Chinese and Korean all over the place. 

I went to the worship practice, and that was really fun, and good. I forgot how nice it was to be on a worship team, and how much I missed singing contemporary songs. It was also a pretty intense moment of worship, and I could feel God moving through all of us. 

Sunday morning arrived, and the service was longer than I'm used to. . that being said, it was still good, but I was losing my attention span towards the end, but God was still working there. 

All week I have been working at the After School Program--using my Spanish and getting better while I work with Denisa (pronounced DayNaysa) to help her comprehend English through my Spanish. It gets better everytime, but is also slightly frustrating when she misses a day. And of course, when I'm tired and can't help some of the kids. 

We have done some very intense planning for our Summer Day Camp. Christa and a very miniscule amount of my assistance made a flyer, and we have had a couple meetings about what we are going to do and have looked at our resources. It looks like we are going to have a trip to Camp Deerpark every week, and on the other days, have a free program in the morning, and a paid program in the afternoons. We are making it highly affordable and it's going to be awesome! (if of course, we get good staff and have enough energy, so pray for that!)

Yesterday when I walked over to Christa's house, I turned onto her street and walked toward a woman and a man who were discussing the large branches that were on the ground beside the car of a commuter and the woman looked at me and looked at me again and said, "You are the spitting image of my niece!" I introduced myself, and then had a bit of a conversation with her. She was very kind. Her name was also Grace, and her home was the place where people seemed to drop off animals that they didn't want... Like a cat lady... (Marie, my sister will get a kick out of this). But the sweet and awesome part is that this woman, when I told her about the program we were planning, said that she wanted some of the flyers to hand out to the working moms that she knew. So that was totally God working there. 

Today I have felt sick. My neck is sore, as is my throat and I didn't really have the energy to work with kids. We went over to PS 22 (Public School 22) and discussed and decided that Daniel, Christa, and I were going to go over to the school during lunch time and associate with the kids. Of course, I saw Ali, who is one of the boys who lives in the basement, and went and sat at his table for a little while. He's really kind, and a good kid. He introduced me to all of the people at the table, and that was fun. I could have stayed there with them for the entire time. It was SO loud in there. 

We continued to talk to Lili, the lady who was enthusiastic about us coming, and she was telling us that she was really encouraged for us to be there. And I felt like God was calling me, especially to be there, and that I could help, and I would love to do that. Though I was feeling all day, during the time I was there, there was some new found energy that God had given me. I just felt called to be there for those kids. The only thing is, the guidance--the example that they really need I can't give to them, because I'm not a man. 

They need male example, someone to be a father figure or a big brother with God in his heart leading him. And not just during lunch time--all day. And only God can bring that. Only God can bring Jesus into these schools. 

Prayer requests:

--That this cold thing will heal before my birthday, which is on Sunday.

--For my wonderful sweet neighbors. 

--For energetic AWESOME high schoolers to staff the day camp

--For the kids in the public schools of New York City, that they would have good examples.

--For energy and encouragement for the staff at the After School Program 

God is Good!

Flushed In

No pun intended with the title, but it's pretty much how I feel--to the point where, they threw me in a "flushing device", flushed it, and now I'm mixed into whatever was different from me, and we are all comfortable with each other... Sorry for the sickening analogy.
I arrived in Queens on Thursday afternoon and was literally "flushed in" to the cycle of things. The worship team, meeting people, explaining why I am vegan (a different reason every time), telling people I'm from Ohio, but different parts of Ohio, how I'm a senior by credits, but only one year out of high school...ahh my complicated life.
I feel really welcomed into the Flushing environment, connecting with two girls, Christa and Hannah right away within these first few days. I am certainly welcomed into the house that I'm staying in-- a woman named Patricia houses missionaries for free, and when contacted by someone from the church, said she would house me for no charge, and that she is going out of town for some of the summer.
I spent the first night at Christa's house, where her mother, when finding out that I was vegan, supplied me with a lifetime of peanut butter, two cartons of soy milk, and a box with cans of beans, vegetables, and half a loaf of whole wheat bread.
I went to the Discipleship meeting for the worship team on the first day I was in Flushing, and dug deep into the word with the Worship team, for two and a half hours. Then yesterday evening, I went to the Young Adult Bible Study, and delved more into the word. The interesting thing is that I haven't gotten to do my devotions. But God takes me as I am, vulnerable in these new situations, learning in intense ways, what he wants me to learn, which is really great, and important. These bibles studies are a great shaper for what this summer is going to be like--God filled, and God driven. I'm pumped.
Christa showed me around Kissena Park when I was at her house. It was raining when we woke up but by the time we stepped out the door, there was a shining sun, and it was quite warm. I cannot wait to go running there-- it's so beautiful.
At the after-school tutoring program, on the first day, it was sort of unsuccessful. Introduced as knowing some Spanish I was set to work with Denise Mandelena, fresh from El Salvador, and to teach her the alphabet. I felt really bad because I wasn't able to communicate very well with her. But then yesterday, it went really well--we were doing math, and I was much more comfortable. I made her smile a lot, and I think she is catching on quickly.
Christa and Hannah came over to my house and we watched Gigi the musical last night--it was an interesting way to spend the evening, but entertaining, no doubt.
Christa took me to the Korean food market, where I might do some of my shopping. There is supposedly a Whole Foods and a Target elsewhere, but who knows when I'm going to get a chance to go shopping there--soon I hope. I need some tofu. I'm going to get sick of PB and J really soon.
Pictures and videos to come? (when I take, upload, and edit them--I'm really busy here.)

The Pakistani woman who lives in Pat's basement brought Pat breakfast this morning, and while waiting for pat, told me I was so pretty, and made me some tea, (which I'm sure has milk in it, but I appreciate her kindness. I hope to spend more time with them in the future--we'll see.)

Prayer requests:
--That I will work on my Spanish.
--For the family of Pakistani Muslims in the basement
--That I will let Christ reverberate from my soul.

What Does it all mean?

I decided that I wanted to do Social Work.
Now I'm itching to run away from making and sticking with that decision.
Agony.
This past weekend I played a song during the church service. Many people commented on the passion that drove the song.
The passion that drives my music.
That passion drives my life.
Sometimes the music is why I want to be.
Yet there is always the issue of the job being social enough.
I am extroverted; a talker. Playing the piano makes you face the instrument you play and you can't look at people that you are playing for.
For me, keyboards aren't the same. I want them to be, and sometimes they are great, but I don't get inspired as much from a keyboard.
But music brings so much out of me.
Every time I go to a concert of someone else, I want to do the same thing. I want to be on that stage and bare my soul to the crowd.
When I went back to Streetsboro, I told the band director that I was going to New YOrk for the summer, and she said, "Oh, as a free lance musician?"
As I told her that it was for a mission, her words still struck me.
And I still wonder if I'm on the right path.
Why can't I just decide that I'm going to do music, that I'm going to record instead of going to school or something. Maybe it would be worth it.
Again, it's the social aspect--Promising people I'm coming back to EMU--promising I'm rooming with Crystal.
But my mind is everywhere, and I've been all over the place when I'm going everywhere. I cannot decide.
Ahhh. I wish I wasn't a disappoint me to some--that they didn't miss me when I wasn't there, and that I could see them more often.
Am I just meant to be a Nomad, wandering, playing, being passionate, being more passionate, doing what I'm passionate about?
Lord Jesus, Here I am. Send me where I am to go!

Training at HDC

I was nervous beyond all reason when I left for Harrisburg directly after the Sunday service. I drove through Ohio and Pennsylvania, searching for Christian radio stations, and trying to avoid thinking about the feelings of uncertainty that were dancing through my head. I felt insecure about driving by myself, and was worrying about the money I was spending on gas, and that I would mess up the directions. I couldn't figure out how to turn off the heat either, so I was rather warm.
But at some point on the four hour blur of the PA turnpike, I saw God in the sky. There was a cloud in the shape of an eye, and as the radio station I had currently found played a song of encouragement, I knew that God was with me, that what I was doing was good, and that I needed to stop worrying. I almost cried as I let God fill me up and encourage me. I stared into the eye until I had to focus on the road, but I had a peace about me. God was with me, I was going where he wanted me to go, and that's all I knew.
The egging worry that had been taking a toll on my head and my guts left when I turned into the HDC parking lot, one hour early, and was met by familiar faces. Margaret, Melanie, Jess, Rachel, and Dorrin.
There were two people in GO! training with me--Scott, and Elisa. Elisa I knew from EMU--she was one of  the juniors in the Pre-med program that were a part of the Organic Chemistry class that I was photographing for work study. Scott, who I met for the first time, was only introduced to me once, and I forgot that his name was Scott, and called him Eric in my head.
We played Scattergories, and that was a great way to get to know everyone (that played). I t was really chill, even though when the buzzer "clicked" stop, it was quite obnoxious, and a jumping experience for me more than one time. I won.. because I'm bizarre.
I had decided to just be vegetarian while I was there. It's too hard to educate people on Veganism 101, and then the discussions that ensued for the rest of the training were enough.
Monday morning training was good. It was quite an intense start, but it was still good. We did some prayer for each other--each of us prayed for the person to our left, and I prayed for Jess. We were supposed to ask God what he wanted us to pray for that person about. I had some words, but I had a melody stuck in my head for the part of the time that I was praying for her.
Elisa was going to Peru, and Scott, to Central Asia.
We were told to go on a prayer walk throughout the city, and I decided that I didn't want to walk around without a bag to pick up trash, so I brought a trash bag and picked up trash while I was walking. Twise people asked me if I was doing Community Service, one man asked me what "staff" I was with Convention, and one guy, all these people were sitting on their porches, said, "God loves you and I do too!"
The irony of it all is that later in the day, we went for community outreach, and we picked up trash, which was a group activity. It was more solemn as a group.
We had some reading assignments--and I walked up to the prayer room to do mine later in the evening, and Scott was already there, but the shade was open so I joined him. In an English accent, I told him I had a timepiece. (also known as my cell phone), so we went down stairs for supper at the right time.
Jamila, Taylor, and Tyler were all at HDC on Monday and part of Tuesday. They were working on some social outreach things, and so it was really cool for them to be there. I hadn't seen them all semester. Jamila braided my hair, and we got to hang out with them.
I was thoroughly enjoying helping wash dishes, and was helping put some away after dinner, when Dorrin thought that it would be a good idea to leave the silverware container out to put the dried silverware in, but he couldn't remember my name so he said, "Female!" and then apologized profusely...
Tuesday began with some great sessions. Chris led the session on Humility and it was a really great, rather informing session. Later, Ryan Showalter showed up and did another session on Why Missions. And informed me on some stuff about Queens, which was great--more information. Then we had a session with Clair Good about Contextualized something or other. He knew more about me and my parents and sisters than I knew about him.. It's always interesting when those things happen. He talked about how it's important to look for Christ in every situation, and when we witness to people, it shouldn't be to witness for God, it's God witnessing through us.
But that was a great session.
And then they sent us out on an "Evangelism Plunge", which was to go out and meet a person and have a meaningful conversation with them. We went as a group, and walked down Derry Street, and turned onto 17th street, and walked past this man, who Scott asked where the pharmacy was, and then we struck up conversation with him. We talked about where he'd been and where we'd bene and what his family was like and what he was doing now, and he brought us over to the pizza place where he worked and gave us pizza, which was sooo good and we continued to talk. It was great, and he was really nice.
We walked back to the house, and Elisa and I decided to go play soccer outside, and some boys from the neighborhood came soon after we started our volleyball and soccer playing. I taught them, and Elisa a little bit about soccer, and then played with them a little while. It was a lot of fun. Their names were Jay, Malachi, Will, and Shawn. Nice boys.
We had supper, and then commissioning prayer, which was great, and then we played Dutch Blitz while waiting for Elisa and Jess to get back (they had to drive Elisa's car to Salunga). I was playing against quite the pros, and I haven't had a lot of time to organize my strategy... Dorrin was rooting for everyone except Margaret, because she had some completely pulverized him in the past. I started getting better in the second game.
We went out for a low-cost treat--to ice cream, and their kid sized scoop was larger than any scoop that I would eat EVER in a normal sized portion... and I hadn't had ice cream since before Lent, so it was really sweet and rich... not to mention, I had the Chocolate Cupcake flavor. I forced my ice cream upon some... who forced it upon others... it really was the communal ice cream, because Marge, Elisa, and Scott all had some.
I had had a cup of coffee during the game of Dutch Blitz, and it made me really awake at eleven when i was going to bed, and I didn't sleep well. I was so awake that I thought about leaving then to drive home, but I didn't.
When I woke up in the morning--at five thirty to the alarm clock bird, I tried to fall back asleep, and stayed in bed until 6:15, and then I decided to pack and leave, because I was up and there wasn't any point.
I took two apples, (not realizing that I already had one in the car that I hadn't eaten), some apple chips.. got sick of apples. . .  and some mixed nuts, and figured that would tide me over.
Then I drove home, deciding halfway there that I was going to stop in Streetsboro and surprise and see people.
I did. It was great. But it's an entire other blog.

Famous

I was shopping at the grocery store today with my dad, without make-up on, and I was suddenly thankful not to be famous. We were in the checkout line, and I saw the tabloids proclaiming the weight gain of some stars, and it stirred in me I don't think I would like to be in the main spotlight--ever. I'm not the type that needs the attention that they give stars. I'm an extravert, and a person with much joy in getting attention from other people, but I know that I like to have a level of trust with the people that I work with, and talk to. I know that I'm not well known enough to have to worry about a trusted friend telling a paparazzi about my private life for money. And I'm thankful for that. We watched NCIS yesterday, and it was dealing with a stalker for someone who was in a television show, and talking about the paparazzi issue. And I am so thankful that I'm an unknown musician. I enjoy praise from those that I know, and those that I have relationships with. I enjoy playing for me, and for people who need to hear the message of the song, not the  upbeat tempo or my "amazing range". I don't need to sing for others to listen. I write about what I'm processing. And that's fine for me. So if I am never famous in life, I will be satisfied. And if I never get to hear from a famous record company that I have what it takes, I'm okay with that. For me, in this life, to do what I want to do, I need to not be someone who is known, because the influence of fame isn't something that would help me accomplish my goals.

I cannot write a title without going into a new thought.

Of course, the past few blogs have been some serious writing. It's been more and more of that lately. I'm just a processing machine, and I guess my fingers know it and just write and write and write. 

Transitions. Moving back into the house for the third time. All my freaking stuff. I guess I'm going to takea lot less to NYC so this isn't such an issue when I have to ride the Greyhound bus. Three months--I can live out of a duffel bag, right? Right.


My sister, mom, fifth cousin, and I left the District after some serious packing the night and morning before. Emily checked my out of my room, after removing some very vital things out of my drawers that I almost left behind (random earplug? check. fingernail? check. Trash of many sorts? check.)


We were off--to Dulles, and brought Katie to her "home" and then headed on our way. Mom drove for the first half, and I was doing some serious crocheting on my "body bag" as Mom now calls it. We drove until lunch time. Then we stopped for gas, and I drove, mom feeding me my lunch from the passender seat--and it was hummus and veggies. So that was interesting while driving. I stopped driving around 3:30--we stopped at a travel plaza and Anna and I got Starbucks--and they had the Vegan Frappiccinos--I was so pumped. And it doesn't cost different so that is a huge benefit for me.  

I drove part of the way and drove really well--didn't go more than five over the speed limit--I do believe I've turned a new leaf... at least for the next three years. 


I got to talk to Zach on the phone on the way home. It was a great conversation. It was clarifying and saddening because we both feel sort of constricted on the construction of our relationship because his team has really strict rules for him about keeping in contact with me. But God is keeping both of us strong. 
And during the rest of the conversation, he made me laugh like crazy. I miss him so. I cannot wait to see him. I'm going to meet him at the airport when he comes home because I found out I could, I just don't know what day it is...I have three more conversations (we are allowed to talk once a month) to figure out when it is. 


Getting home was great. I'm on the floor now, and Anna is sleeping on the bed, but that's ok she's here longer than I am, and I'm comfortable with that. 


Just like Mom and Dad are embracing that I just want to eat plant products, they are embracing Anna's central america influence, but with a grain of salt. We went to Cheif, the Giant of Western Ohio, and found Pig's feet. 
I took one look at them, and said, "There is no way that we are getting those! Marie wouldn't eat that!" There were six frozen-limp legs, in a styrofoam package next to the loins and the chops--both of which have enough separation to them that people don't think that there is going to be much of an issue with eating them. It's in a convenient shape for cooking and eating, but you remove separation when you see the pigs feet. I see the not-grown up sized piggies, not being treated right in the PETA videos. . . and then I reacted... 

I'm looking at the [Wo]man in the mirror!

Okay, so it's reflection time. Partially because I have to write a reflection journal (yep one more journal) for my seminar class, and partially because it's good and healthy to reflect on different parts of one's life. I do it regularly, as you have read, I'm sure. 
Reflections
On Washington D.C
So from my experience in D.C., most were positive. I loved being where everyone was, seeing all the dreadlocks, meeting two or three new people everyday, and learning about different perspectives. I was challenged and blessed with so many people in D.C. Some of these people were in my house, some were those that I worked with--but everyone was wonderful to spend time with and grow from. I have found a place for myself in the city. I can understand different things, I'm less likely to stereotype, and I'm less likely to worry. I think that after being in Brookland, and walking home from the Metro whether in the dark or in the day, being in and out of two high schools with very different perspectives almost everyday, and spending time with the youth of the city at Garrison Elementary school, I can be prepared for anything--less a language barrier, which I'm certain to be approaching in my time in NYC this summer. I'm looking forward to that. D.C. has made me realize issues that matter to me, and what justice I want to work for in my life--and be proactive about.
On working with Colman McCarthy
It's not like I went to bed early every night because I was looking forward to spending time with Colman, but I was looking forward to some aspect of my internship, because I went to it and learned something. The first thing I learned is that fame is relative. Not that Colman is famous, but there are many people who put those who are well known on pedestal and make them seem bigger than they really are. And Colman, well, he's just the feisty grandpa type, with some exceptions. It's not very often you find a grandpa that eats a vegan diet--most are known for coming to grandma's house for the good stuff. Colman also bikes just about everywhere. If I had to categorize him,  he'd be a hippie that never quit 'hipping' with out the artificial stimulants that most hippies participated in. The truth is, hippies where almost after his time, and are definitely in the past now.. So I think he's just Colman McCarthy. I don't think there is another seventy-one year old like him.
Being in a consistent environment where I was always hearing ideas being argued and discussed with different sides at all times, and hearing about new issues every time I was located at my internship was really quite a burden at some points. There were days when I'd come home from work and be pissed off at the world, the American government, corporations, etc. But there were good solid people who reminded me that all governments have issues, as we are people, and that we can make a difference in our own government--we are lucky. Many other people all around the world have no say in what their government does. I was affected by the issues that were discussed--just hearing the beneficiaries and the people who were screwed over by many issues--with animal rights--the slaughterhouse workers, with the war--veterans with PTSD, with competition for jobs--people getting laid off.
Physically, I decided to go vegan--I was feeling the pull of guilt of eating dairy products because drinking milk promotes veal production, and I do not approve of that. I know that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a prison where I couldn't turn around, and living in my own poop, so why should I use products that advocate for that? I also watched Sweeney Todd with a good friend of mine, and was completely disgusted with the death in the movie, and though it was Hollywood, I couldn't get the gross pictures out of my head. I would rather not think about death that way, and seeing a hamburger or a chickent breast made me recognize that these were once living, breathing things. So I decided to not eat that anymore.
Morally, I was affected by the continual idea that there is a lot of injustice in the wars around the world, past and present, and it made me angry--about many things. Why wasn't I educated on the School of Americas in high school? Why doesn't the fact that America is allies with many dictatorships get talked about more often? Why haven't the land mines all over the world be taken care of already? How come I never knew that Bin Laden was Saudia Arabian, was an ally of the U.S, and warned the U.S that they would attack us if we didn't remove our military base from their country? Why doesn't the United States just change it's foreign policy and have the army do humanitarian things like the army in New Zealand?
It never ceases to amaze me how easy these things would be.
On living in the WCSC house
Ahh, where do I begin? So many good things happened! I got to know everyone in the house at different times! There were just enough people to spend a little time with everyone. Christa and I would go to CVS and to YES and buy food and things for the house, think about playing soccer and just talk about life! She also lent me her H crochet hook, and I've never been the same since! Once I figured out most of everyone's personalities, I could joke with them, and hope that they wouldn't think I was being serious. Jasmine and I had some great conversation--between talking frankly about feeling depressed, and her telling me to go to bed on time, we had some bonding time when we were sun bathing (although I never actually looked like I got any serious sun). Corrie and I had some good cookings days--we made ravioli and spontaneous lack of recipe meals that were still awesome. We went on car rides to the store and sang loudly in the car. She came with me to get my nose pierced. We had some good talking time between that one random trip to Harrisonburg and some other times that we were just driving all over D.C... Jessica and I beasted out some pretty fantastical music. Though it became less and less as the semester went on, we both had a good comradeship and we were quite hilarious together. Bry and I had some sets of jokes, Sanj and I would bake together and make crack coffee, Andrew and I had some good times walking to the metro those last few weeks. Fets and I--we were close--I nodded to him as he passed my room to go to his, and he'd nod back.. no really we were bffs. Lindsay and I went to volleyball together. We saw movies together. We went tangoing together. And all the walking and talking in between. As a house, we weren't completely dysfunctional. Everyone had different personalities and we got used to those. Even though in the end some of the grocery money was spent on honey buns, I still loved those guys. They did a great job. Though there were some interesting issues, like alcohol, and a little bit of senior apathy, I still felt like it was a good semester, and I grew in myself and in my friendships with others. I also got to know Emily, one of the directors. She and I went contradancing together, dumpster diving, I went to help serve food at the homeless outreach she worked for, we talked about out lives, we comtemplated going running, we gardened and moved compost and poop and made a flowerbed, I helped make salad and curried veggies at her dinner party, we played songs that we each had written --it was a blast and I had so much fun. This semester I knitted two blankets and started on a bag.
On deciding what I want to major in at EMU
I finally decided what I wanted to do with my college career. For so long, I thought that I was just going to get my liberal arts degree and graduate next year. But as I kept thinking about it--it felt insufficient for what I wanted to do for the world and just graduating to get the degree seemed silly and not right. So Social Work, something I had contemplated since I had been in the house with two Social Work seniors doing their practicums, became a thought once more. I discussed it with some wise souls that i lived with and they helped me see what it was that I really wanted to do. There was also a moment over spring break when I was at the Epp's house when I saw what could be done to help kids who are parents be good parents so that their kids, when they are old enough, make good decisions, and at least, if they do have kids, can be good parents as well. And I was driven by that. I want to give back. I have been so blessed by growing up in a good home and with parents who love me and care for me all the time. And it works with people, and it works with kids too!
On being hit on one million times
I learned that wearing my hair down has an effect on the male population. I learned how to weasel my way out of those conversations, to freak the creepers out ("what? You're only nineteen?!") how to strike back ("hey sweetheart, do you have a pen" "My name is Grace, and no I don't have a pen."). I know that walking with a guy can protect me from that most of the time, but there will be times when it won't ("She's got a butt"). I learned that there are guys out there who will find me attractive when I'm wearing no makeup, my glasses, my hair up, in sweatpants, a big T-shirt and a sports bra, and there is nothing I can do about it. So in conclusion, there is nothing I can do to make them stop. But I can be an intelligent woman in response, quick with my words, and not let them get to me. I will respond.

Overall, I love being in an urban setting. There's a lot that i like. And when I can take my retreats back to Wauseon or to Amishland Ohio, I am content with the silence as well. I guess there will be a time when I might have both in my life.

Urban Anthropology Paper.

Beware. It's SOO long.

Introduction

The District of Colombia is segregated. From the visual of race to the levels of economic wealth in the area, there are people living at the bottom and the top of the totem pole. In adolescence, teenagers are influenced by their neighborhoods, schools, peers, and parents. This influence produces drive within students to achieve, or leads them to become apathic and unwilling. High school aged adolescents reflect the enthusiasm of such into their own lives, in the ways that are demonstrated so. Woodrow Wilson high school and Bethesda Chevy Chase High School are two segregated schools. Students come from all types of neighborhoods and family situations to come together at school with their peers, and at this point, students are sponges for examples. “All individuals develop within a variety of environmental contexts… the setting having direct contact with the individual (family, neighborhood, peers, and school), which, in turn influence how they will [act] with various [people]” (Foney and Cunningham 144). At Bethesda Chevy Chase, students come from the cities surrounding the area, which have wealthier families attending. Woodrow Wilson High School is in the District of Colombia, Bethesda Chevy Chase is located in Bethesda Maryland. The students’ racial identities flip flop between schools—there are 51% African Americans and 23% White students at Woodrow Wilson, and 49% White and 23% African American students at Woodrow Wilson. There is an obvious difference with the attitude of the students, which can be because of the racial factor. The following observations, interviews, and research show how the influence of others, and the bias of students per teacher, class length, and neighborhood all build or decrease the interest and drive of the students attending high school.

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School is well-kept, with mowed grass, trimmed bushes, a minimal amount of litter on the walkways approaching the building, and a walled off area from the dumpster. It has four vast floors, clean hallways, a cyber café, and a courtyard. Teachers resemble hallway security, reminding students that they are on the way to class, not a red carpet event, and nudge students to get moving. Being that there is low security, I can walk into the school, assumed a student or a teacher’s assistant and don’t have a need for a visitor’s badge, although it is expected that visitors wear these. There is silence in the empty halls when students are in class, with the occasional late student, and attentive listeners in the classroom. Bethesda graduates almost 95% of its’ students, and of these, 93.7% plan to attend college (BCC). Of the students I interviewed, New York University, Michigan University, Pennsylvania State University, and University of Virginia are some of the schools that students are planning to attend, with the assistance of their parent’s checkbooks. Students in this class have parents who are from Egypt, Germany, England, and Cuba, along with the United States.

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School is located in Bethesda, Maryland, and is one stop out of D.C., off the Redline Metro. BCC has over 1800 students, who are 62% white, 16.1% African American, 14% Hispanic, and 8% Asian American (BCC). These students also come from all over the world, with bilingual abilities, parents who coach athletic stars on communication skills, and prestigious college plans. I attend the first two fifty minute periods of an eight period day at BCC. Bethesda is situated in an upper-class business district, down the road from the Metro station, and students come from neighbor towns, like Kensington, Silver Spring, Friendship Heights, as well as Bethesda itself to attend the high school.Most students who graduate from BCC go to college, only 6% are seek direct employment after graduation, and only .2% of BCC students join the military.

Woodrow Wilson High School

Located in the heart of D.C., in Tenleytown, called Woodrow Wilson High School. This school houses over 1500 students, and of these, 51% African American, 23% white, 17% Hispanic, and 8% Asian (DCPS). These students come from across the world; I have met students from Iraq, Belgium, Germany, Taiwan, the Balkans, and Latin America. Wilson students come from all over Northwest D.C.

As I enter Woodrow Wilson High School, I’m required to sign in, present an identification card, put my bag on the conveyor belt to pass through the X-ray machine, and walk through a metal detector. I’m asked to wear a visitor’s badge, and am questioned by security when I do not. Sometimes when I arrive, get my visitor’s badge, go through the metal detector and go into the hall, I’m still questioned as to why I am there, because I look so much like a student. Security lines the halls of Wilson high school. Even though I know exactly what I’m doing there, and know it’s nothing conspicuous, I still fear their wrath.

Wilson is one of the better schools in the District of Colombia area. There are many programs that influence students to achieve in their high school careers, and lead them to college. These are called Career Tracks, and students can follow these in their own individual choice for their future, in areas such as Business, Engineering, Science, in the Arts, or in Media and Communications. Of those 80% that graduate from Wilson High, nine out of ten attend college all over the country (Wilson). Though Wilson High School is rather prestigious in academics and extra programs for the students to be a part of, it has issues. The building is old—wires line the walls rather than being in them, the doors are heavy and don’t open as you expect, the stairs have a fence separating the “up” and “down” sides, signs which are rarely followed. There is trash in the hallways. Students dawdle on the way to class, and have to be frequently prodded to get to class on time, with bullhorns, and security yelling throughout the halls. To enter the school, one must have I.D., and go through a metal detector, and wear a nametag.

Though the school is becoming “modernized” so that it is in better shape for the larger amount of students that are going to continually attend Wilson, the “under construction” look of the school isn’t the best for it’s image. There are grassless paths where students defined shortcuts to the actual sidewalks. There are discarded, forgotten pencils, scissors, paper, candy wrappers, and other miscellaneous things on the ground on the way in. Parking is wherever a car can fit that isn’t in the fire lane, sometimes on the sidewalk, and lining the entrance to the school. \

Chaos reigns in some classes at Woodrow Wilson High School. There are students that want to learn, and these lead and add to discussion in class, and bring up good ideas, but they battle with the students that talk religiously during the class. Each period of class is ninety minutes long, and each day alternates to different classes. Though it takes longer to get the class to order, and to get students on task, there is great discussion coming from all the students around. At Wilson high school, 80% of all students graduate. This is one of the better schools that are in D.C., fitting into the median of the D.C.’s public schools, some graduating 100% of their classes and others only 38% of their students graduate (Graduation).

Interviews

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School

Alli, a senior with a 3.6 GPA, was looking to go to New York University. Her mother works at Verisign, and her father works as a drum teacher. They are paying for her education, though in what career and field she has no idea what she wants to do. She said she wouldn’t attend NYU that she had planned if her parents couldn’t pay for it. Alli gets a $30 allowance a week, and unlimited funding for whatever programs and school activities she’s involved in at school. She is on the gymnastics team, and is part of several of the school’s clubs. When going out with friends, they usually go to movies, or eat out. Alli lives in Bethesda, and is white. She thinks her schooling and economic situation is an advantage to her because she “can do almost anything with the resources that [she has].”

Renee lives in Friendship Heights. Her mother is a teacher with a Master’s degree, and her stepfather is self-employed, and didn’t finish college. Renee has a 3.7 G.P.A., is white, and is part of the Advanced Placement program, National Honors Society, and the Spanish Honors Society at BCC. Renee’s parents are also paying for her college education, as she looks to attend Michigan University or the University of South California, with an Undecided Major. She was “not sure” what she would do if her parent’s couldn’t or didn’t pay for school, and “would have to think about her options.” Though she doesn’t receive an allowance, her parents provide money for the Metro, and other activities. Renee spends her time outside of school working with Teen Court, an internship, and her English class. She thinks that her school and economic situation is “an advantage and a disadvantage. [She] gets a good education, but it’s financially hard to live around [D.C.].” When spending time with friends, she “talks on the phone at random times,” but considers her self “pretty anti-social.”

Willi, a Hispanic student from BCC, has a 3.1 GPA, lives in Silver Spring, in a four-bedroom house. Her dad is in the construction business and her mom stays home. Her parents are from El Salvador and received a high school education before coming to the United States. She is part of the Advanced Placement classes at BCC, and volunteers in her spare time. She’s planning to continue her education into paralegal studies, and her parents are paying for her college. She would not go to the school where she was planning to if her parents weren’t going to pay for it. Willi receives $50 a week as an allowance. When she spends time with her friends, they go to the mall, or out to eat, and Willi describes her friends as “energetic and laid back”. She feels that her placement in society is an advantage to her because “the D.C. area offers a lot of open schools and businesses that [she] can place [herself] into.”

Jessica has a 2.5 GPA, is part of the golf team, and feels she has an advantage because of where she attends school because she “gets more opportunities.” She’s African American, and she lives in Silver Spring. She plans on attending a four-year university, and her parents are paying for it, but she would attend there regardless of her parent’s money. Whenever Jessica needs money, her parents will give her whatever amount she asks for, either for her own will or for school programs. She spends some of her extra time with her family, and goes shopping with her “outgoing” friends when she gets a chance.

Georgia’s parents are from El Salvador and her mom is a clerk, and her father, a mechanic, both have a high school education. She’s part of the College Tracks program at BCC, and has a 3.0 GPA. She wants to go to school for Law, and her parents are going to pay for her schooling, and she would attend school regardless of their contributions. Georgia plays sports and runs in her spare time, and when she spends time with her friends, they go to the movies or to the mall, and she describes her friends as “outgoing and fun”. Her parents will giver her $100 for an allowance. She feels that she has an advantage attending Bethesda Chevy Chase, because she’s “getting a great education.”

Daniel lives in an apartment with his dad; his mom passed away two months ago. His dad is a carpenter and his parents are from El Salvador, and received a high school education. Daniel has a 2.71 GPA, and is planning on attending Pennsylvania State University. His dad is paying for his education, and Daniel would still attend even if his dad didn’t pay for it. He receives no allowance, and minimal amounts of money for school programs. He isn’t involved in anything at school, but instead, in his spare time, he “babysits, listens to music, and hangs out with friends.” When hanging out with as he describes, his “trustworthy, funny, sometimes obnoxious” friends, they “play games and sports, hang out, and go out to eat.” Right now, his situation with school, his parents and his placement in society is a “disadvantage because [he] lost his mom. [They] have a lot of expenses to pay for, making it hard to pay for [his] education.”

Cal is an African American who lives in an apartment in Silver Spring with his father and stepmother. His father is a network Engineer for D.O.D. and his stepmom works for the F.B.I. His parents both received Bachelor’s degrees from college. Cal is a senior, and has a 2.57 GPA. He plans to go to school for Architecture to be a developer. His parents are going to pay for some of his education, and he would still attend school even if his parents weren’t able to pay for it. He receives $40-50 a week to spend at his own will. Cal is involved in Operation Simile, B. S. A., football, indoor and outdoor track at school, and in his extra time, he likes to sing, study architecture, and workout. He describes his friends as “smart, confident, responsible in was, and overall good people.” When he spends time with his friends, they “play Madden [a fantasy football video game], go out to eat, party, or train for football.” He feels that his socioeconomic placement is an advantage because “a lot of kids don’t have the same privileges.”

Dillon is a senior at BCC. His GPA is 3.7 and he plans to attend the University of Virginia, and is undecided about a career plan. His parents are paying for his education, and if they weren’t, Dillon said he wouldn’t attend UVA. He receives $20 a month to spend at his own will, and an “unlimited” amount for when he needed funding for school activities. His father graduated college and is a landscaper, and his mother is a counselor and has a B.S. Dillion is a part of the National Honors Society, and the Cross Country team. He lives in Kensington, MD, in a “brick, four bedroom house” which his parents own. Dillon spends his free time playing sports, and “chilling”. When he spends time with his friends, they “eat, play basketball, and chill”. Dillon describes his friends as easygoing, social, and funny. His heritage is Spanish, Irish, and Cuban, and he feels like he has a situational “advantage because [he] has money to go out, [he] lives in a nice neighborhood, goes to a good school.”

Woodrow Wilson High School

Nick, a junior, lives in Northwest Washington, DC. He lives in a row house with his mom, who is a landlord and works for the census. She received a high school diploma as the extent of her education. Nick has a 2.7 GPA, and is part of the baseball team and the Boys to Men program at Wilson. He hopes to go to school for Engineering and landscaping, and is hoping that his parents will pay for his education. He would still attend if his parents didn’t pay for it, but “would try to get scholarships.” Of the money his parents give him to spend at his own will, it’s “not much, but enough to buy what [he] want[s].” In addition to that, any money that he needs for school is also supplied. In his spare time, he “goes outside, and does community service.” When he spends time with friends, they go to the mall or the movies, and Nick describes his friends as “active.” He is African American and is also Muslim. He feels that his socioeconomic placement is “an advantage because [his] parents have experienced what [he] will face in the future, so [he’s] prepared.”

Matt is an African American senior, lives in Northwest D.C. His mother is a head teller of the Federal Credit Union, and has schooling up through high school. He has a 2.3 G.P.A. Matt wants to be a journalist and attend Virginia Commonwealth University. His parents will be paying for some of his education, and he would still attend that school if his parents weren’t going to help pay for it. Matt only receives money from his parents for his own will on certain occasions, and gets a reasonable amount for school programs and activities. In his spare time, he writes, socializes, and plays basketball. Matt describes his friends as “swagg”. Matt feels that if he had attended at different school he would be a much better student, but would be ‘boring and dull as a person.’

Cate, an African American student, lives in a four-bedroom house in the D.C. area. Her mother is a computer technician and her father a minister. Cate plans to pursue a college degree at West Salem University to be a computer technician, and her parents are paying for her college. If they didn’t pay for it, she would still attend that school. Her GPA is 2.9. Cat’s parents give her about $100 to spend at her will at the mall, and have spent about $1000 total on school programs and activities through her high school career. She’s part of the program at the math center and the peer mediation program. In her spare time, Cate sketches and practices photography. She works as an intern at the Department of State in the Human Resources Department. Cate feels that her socio economic situation is an advantage because she is offered so much.

Jan is a senior at Wilson High School. She has a 2.6 GPA, and is planning on attending UMES. She wants to own her own sports bar. Her parents are going to help pay for her education, but she’s seeking financial aid. She has a job, and is involved in cheerleading at school, and ballet in her spare time. She lives in Northeast DC. Her father is an orthodontist and her mother a teacher, and between them, they have a Master’s Degree and a PhD.  Her parents are willing to pay for whatever the amount that school activities cost. When Jan spends time with her friends, they go to parties, movies and to the mall. She described her friends as stuck up. She feels like if she attended a different school, she would have an advantage to the school that she is attending, but she likes Wilson High and it has everything. “What you get from a better school may no be what you need to grow in character and compassion for others.”

Irene is a sophomore at Wilson High School She lives in a three-bedroom house in the D.C. area. Irene’s dad works as an analyst at the Library of Congress, and her mom works at Mitne Homeland Security. Her father has two Masters degrees, and her mother has one. Her GPA is 3.6. She is part of the HAM academy, and the basketball and softball team. As a career option, she wants to be either a linguist of a forensic anthropologist. Her parents are not going to pay for her education. She plans on going to school with or without parental funding. If she asks her parents for money to spend for her own will, they will give her $10, and about the same amount if she needs some money for school activities. In Irene’s spare time, she plays soccer and volunteers. She spends time with her friends in the area of where they live. Irene feels like she has an advantage because she has money to further her education, and doesn’t feel like anything is a disadvantage.

Issues Within the Schools

Teacher to Student Ratio

There are many different issues that I observed in the schools. One of the main issues that I noticed was the student to teacher ratio. Bethesda Chevy Chase has one teacher to about fifteen students, and Woodrow Wilson High School has a ratio of one teacher to thirty-one students.  This causes quite a discrepancy between the teachers in the different schools and their ability to teach the students.

At Bethesda, students are more likely to behave. They have good leadership, and have had consistent teacher to student ratios in their schools. These teachers have the educational example that shows students what an education can give in a life—there are careers that secure bank accounts and jobs with positions that are always going to be need to be filled.

Because these students behave, the teachers have control of the classroom most of the time. They command the attention of the students. Students at BCC respect their teachers because the teachers are educated in their specialized areas. Many of the teachers have their Master’s in their subjects. Because of the amount of staff in the building—there are 118 staff that are professionally educated, students have many different highly educated role models for to look up to (BCC). Many different classes go on during the day and students have lots of options to choose from, all from good teachers. Class periods are only fifty minutes long—students’ attention spans are met—and teachers keep them interested using projectors to show relevant videos and articles on the Internet. Bethesda is an upper class school with an upper class teaching system, meeting students where they are with their attention levels. This is great for the students that are lower class that attend Bethesda Chevy Chase. Whether or not they went to a middle school or former high school with bad leadership and scheduling, BCC offers a way for these lower class students to succeed.

Woodrow Wilson High School has issues with behavior in the classroom. At Wilson, students brought up with good leadership in schools show respect to teachers.  There are only a small percentage of students who follow this ideal—something I’ve observed is that students, in a predominantly African American school, who are disinterested in the class, spend the period talking, while white students, in a predominantly white school spend the period being silently disinterested. At Woodrow Wilson High School, only 23% of the students are white, and this percentage is not equivalent in the classes that I have worked in—there are less white students (DCPS). At Wilson, many of the African American students have the black student persona that doesn’t want to have anything to do with the persona of being white and excelling. Because of the higher amount of students per teacher, there is less control in the classroom. The length of classes at Wilson High School leaves room for teachers to take control of the classes, however, because each class is ninety minutes long, the students’ attention span is much shorter than the length of class. Though there are many teachers in this school that have their degrees and have attitudes that demand respect, students still don’t pay attention. The problem with having so many students in the classroom is that education disappears as a way of mental growth for an adolescent and becomes a factory, where efficiency is the most important thing, and students study for tests, not to learn a subject. When someone knows the answer, others migrate toward him or her, not to learn their ways of knowledge, but ask for the answer. I have seen this at Wilson high school, as one female student does her homework for math during the Social Issues class I attend, and compares answers with another classmate, who brings her work to class. There is a constant fight between the students and the teachers to win their attention. This is becoming easier now that they are banning electronics in classrooms, and attempting to hold students accountable. The obvious problem over even the distractions in the classroom is that factor that there aren’t enough teachers. If there were more teachers, smaller classes, and newer materials, desks, programs, and buildings, then the student attention span toward learning would be more focused on it.

Racial Diversity

Racial diversity is one of the District area’s promises. Students come from everywhere because their parents come from everywhere, and many attend Bethesda and Woodrow Wilson schools. Both schools have large chunks of African American students, and this affects the ‘teachability’ of students within the schools, though in different extents. Beverly Tatum, PhD, says in her renowned book “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria?” And Other Conversations About Race, “in racially mixed schools, Black children are much more likely to be in the lower track than in the honors track. Such apparent sorting along racial line sends a message about what it means to be Black” (56).

At Bethesda, the student body is 62.1% White, 16.1% African American, 14% Hispanic, 7.2% Asian, and 0.5% American Indian. The white students have high success on standardized testing—at BCC, 98% white students passed the Maryland Schools Assessment, and 98.6% passed the reading assessment, whereas African Americans, being taught by the same teachers and in the same classes, passes the mathematics assessment at 78.3% and the reading assessment at 89.9%. These rates of passing are better than Woodrow Wilson High School’s student body as a whole, on the DC-CAS. Because these scores are so high, I had a thought that these African American students have assimilated into the system, being of an upper class community. These students could have also been accepted into the system for having great athletics. The seating at Bethesda is not naturally segregated into groups, but there are not a lot of African Americans in the schools. Of the African Americans in the school, many of them fit into the “success of the athletically talented.” Many of the other African Americans at Bethesda also “play down [their] Black identity in order to succeed in school” (Tatum, 58). The first class of the day is quiet, but seem interested in what the teacher is talking about, though little discussion is approached. There’s more noise in the second class of the day. Students opinionate themselves and argue with ideas brought to discussion. This student isn’t afraid to talk about the things that bother them in society and within their own lives. Discussion has ranged from cat calling’s positive and negative sides, to students being open about dealing drugs in their neighborhood.

There are 51% African American Students at Woodrow Wilson High School, with minorities of 23% white students and 17% Hispanic Students. There are 6% Asian students.  The classes that I attended were mostly African American, but there were larger amounts of white and Asian students in the classes through their own choice of scheduling. In contrast, many of the African American students in the class were placed there because of scheduling mishaps at Woodrow Wilson high school. These students don’t care about their grade and the class. They don’t want to participate or do the little homework that the teacher gives them. Though this may be because they don’t want to be like the “white person who goes on to be a CEO”, there is also a possibility that their default of boredom and disinterest is to talk, disrupt, and skip classes that they are not interested in. These students are also driven by their peers, and when no one else wants to do anything, neither do they. African Americans are upfront about their attitudes, and disrespect because they personally feel like they don’t need whatever teachers are teaching them. The class that I attend is an elective at the school.

Segregation

Though not often addressed, there is a slight issue of segregation within both Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, and Wilson High School. Much of the time, segregation is not up front, and noticeable at first glance—it has taken an entire semester to establish what the segregation within these schools is for me.

At Bethesda Chevy Chase, the school itself is not segregated--there are students of all ethnicities and backgrounds attending. However, a large amount of students attend BCC because their parents can afford to live in the area. The neighborhood is segregated—there are less black people who live in the area because it is an area where people with more money live. There are less African American teachers and faculty at Bethesda because there are less African American students. The classes that I attend at BCC seem to have the ratio of African American to white students at Bethesda, but there may be a possibility that many of the students that were interested in the course where white that did not get to take it.

At Woodrow Wilson, the classroom itself seems segregated. African American students line the outside and back rows of the classes that I attend. They talk in the back while the white students sit in the front rows, listening and giving the teacher their attention (with the exception of those white students that do their math homework in class). Students that were interested in taking the class were intellectuals and willing to listen. Those that did not want to be there were less likely to listen and did not want to be there.

Students’ Drive and Interest in the Class

All of the students that I interviewed were interested in going to college. At Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, and Woodrow Wilson high school, there are similar levels of drive, with an occasional twist and turn.

At Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, there are students who sleep in class, but many less than at Wilson High School. With classes being shorter there is less reason and ability to go to sleep. Students at BCC have more interest in learning about the subject and participating in the discussions now that they know the teacher better and can connect with the relevancy of the material. There seems to be a lesser amount of drive to reach higher without the support of a parent to fund the necessary school. There is drive from some that are driven by ideas, knowledge, and wanting to attain more ideas and knowledge. Among students, there are many who aren’t interested in going to the same university that they originally wanted to attend if their parents wouldn’t pay for it.

Wilson’s students have different levels of interest and drive. There are many who have the drive to attend college and have a career in mind that they want to do, but are not interested in the present class that they are enrolled in. Students eat, sleep, play with their smart phones, chew snuff, and leave class to do something else, but there are some students who listen in class and add their opinion to discussion in class.  There is diversity in the apathy to get work done within Wilson, but most students want to finish sooner so that they can spend time with their friends later. There is also abhorrence to being in class and being forced to listen. In the end, those that are driven do drive, and they excel. Those that could care less continue to care less. It’s much easier to teach a class that is interested that one who wants to just get out of school. Classes are large, and that makes making each lesson relevant to each student is rather difficult.

Influences

Within an adolescent’s life, they are influenced by everything around them. They are mental sponges, taking in ideas, mannerisms, and ideas, and then personifying them wherever they go. Some of the biggest influences for teenagers are their parents, peers, the neighborhood they live in, and their schools.

At Bethesda, there is a good amount of parental influence. Students whose parents have been well educated lead their children to do likewise. In contrast, parents with soly high school diplomas still urge their children to get more schooling. Parents are willing to fund unlimited amounts for school activities, and do so by supporting their children’s college choices financially. The peer influence at BCC is a positive force. Since 93.7% of the students that graduate Bethesda go on to college, many students follow their predecessor’s example, and get their education. Peers who participate in class make others more likely to do so. Relationally, if students know other students in their classes well, they are more likely to take them seriously when they have a discussion in class, rather than sloughing off their ideas and thoughts. Students who live in high-class neighborhoods that are well cared for are more likely to take care of their schools in the same way, making it a better school. Because BCC has such a high level of Highly Qualified Professionals teaching in their specialties, making many programs that lead to success for students, BCC has a positive influence on their students. Classes are well taught and concise, the rooms are well kept, well heated, and bright, and these things make a huge difference in learning environments.

Woodrow Wilson High School’s parents have positive influence on their children. They are good examples through their successful careers and schooling they pursued. They encourage their children to do the same—to be successful, attend college, and do well in classes. The peer influence at Wilson high school can be a positive and a negative influence. Within the students with the higher G.P.A.’s and drives, there are students planning to attend prestigious colleges to pursue their careers. These students influence their friends to shoot high and hope for nothing less. Within the peers that have lower G.P.A’s, with fewer worries about school and more worries about what they’re going to do after school, influence is both positive and negative. There are some students who strive and reach for the stars with their work. They work really hard to do what they need to do to get to college. There are also many students that have an attitude and have dreams and ideas, but are too caught up in their emotion to be motivated by these. These students live in neighborhoods all over D.C., with varying degrees of poverty and wealth, success and failure. Students will treat their neighborhoods like they treat their schools, and vice versa. Thus, neighborhoods have both a positive and a negative influence on students. Woodrow Wilson’s example is a mixed influence. There are many teachers with drive to get students to college and to teach so that students will learn to learn, not to get an “A” on a test. But the high school itself has litter around it. The dumpster at Wilson High School is on the way to the main entrance. Parking is chaotic, and there are parked cars on both the sidewalk and the road to the school. Grass is worn away where a makeshift path has been placed by multitudes of students. The school is under construction for “modernization”, to make room for more students coming in, but it is far from being beautiful and welcoming. Wilson looms like a prison sometimes. They are implementing an In-school Suspension program from students who are late to class to reduce tardy students. There is much proactivity to improve the school, but as with the Civil Rights Movement, nothing changed until the minds of the people involved also changed.

Conclusion

From my observations, both schools are good. There are good programs and teachers in each. The issues come with the amount of students that enter in the doors, and the influence that they have. Those who have the drive to succeed do succeed, and those who could care less, do care less.  The issues come from the students themselves, but also from their own influences.