All Things Grace

Yesterday we, Muffin and I, saw the opera. I'm not even joking. Hardcore, four hours long, The Marriage of Figaro, by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart! It was amazing. I also got to take a peek into high society of Cleveland, Ohio. There's a majority of old people dressed up. There was a lot of alcohol consumed. There was an intense line for the bathroom during intermission.



I got a Muse "Blackholes and Revelations" CD yesterday, also. I love it. It was the last copy at Target, so it was a great feeling to know that it was there. I'm loving it. In addition to the opera. It's really not that different. Just a little more electronic.



I watched the movie, The Sentinel today. I love watching Kieffer Sutterland, even though I'm not very enduring for the 24 season... It was good.



I washed walls in the basement, and spacklinged the holes in the walls. Spackling is the anitholy water. It makes things unholey. I was kept entertained that entire time with an excitement filled conversation with the bf, Xac. He's headed to Honduras, for a couple weeks, I'm excited for him. I wish I could go out of the country. I'd like to feel culture shock. It's been so long since I have, because of living in the same place for so long, with the same mediocre people with their lukewarm attitudes.



I just want to be a musician star. And step out of this stupid world that I'm forced to be surrounded by. Thank goodness my family is moving away from this stinking town.

There are some good people, but I always feel the same vibe--that everyone here criticizes the place that we live, and they want to live somewhere else, but this is where they are, but they don't love it. I love rural areas, in comparison to this place.



We have two extra dogs in our house at the moment, and they are driving all of our family crazy. They make Rocket go off a rocket and being a crazy thing. And they all bark up a storm, and whine like crazy things, and the cats get freaked out.



Muffin is doing her voice practice right now, and it is also crazy annoying, but I can't do anything about it, because i love her voice the way it is. And i want her to get way better, so that she can become an amazing opera singer, like the girls at "The Marriage of Figaro."



I haven't talked to Anise in awhile. I wonder how she's holding up. She's only got like three weeks of college left before she comes home and get to be with me all the time. Yay! Then she's going to work at SWAP during the summer, in West Virginia.



Mom and Dad and me and Muffin have been working on getting the house ready to be put on the market. Mom and Dad were washing the outside of the house yesterday, this morning, and this afternoon. We have to repaint the outside, and add some nice touches, like a new shutter color. We're also going to have a painting party next Saturday to paint some parts of the house. Maybe not the outside (it's too soon to tell if that will be ready) But there are several rooms in the house that have been spackinged by me, and thus we have to paint the rooms now.



My collage wall disinigrated awhile ago, and I had a collage corner and my French doors were collaged for awhile, but now that the house is going to be going on the market, we have to take down all the pictures of family members/people on the walls, so my room is going to look really lame. It's all part of me that I have to take down.



I have been working on a new song recently. It's called "Introductions." I figure if and when I finally record an entire CD, that this song could be the first one.

Here's a clip of some of the lyrics:

My name is Grace

I'm nowhere close to becoming famous

I have a face, and a heart too

And feelings hurt almost everyday

Can't you see I'm a person too?

But I don't want to become insensitive.

Will you let me sing for you?

Because

My words,

My emotions

Break holes in the windows of hearts

Of people

Poor people

Who hide from reality

Please let them see me.



So Mom was in the mood for some "cheap" reading, meaning magazines (haha). So she read and is reading my Seventeen magazine. But later, she came into my room with a very serious face.

She came to aske me to unload the dishwasher.
I asked her why she looked like someone died.
And then she said that later we could talk about sex.
I told her I don't like to talk about sex.
And we've had that conversation before anyway.
I feel I've been adequately versed in the matter.
And I also feel very firm in my beliefs in what I won't do.
And very luckily for me I'm dating a guy that isn't going to ignore the subject of boundaries. Hooray for non jerk boys. (FINALLY)

The dogs are in the basement, the sister is almost done with the voice stuff, the mom is still reading the Seventeen magazine. I'm still escaping into the world of music. and diet generic cola pop. Daddy is doing laundry.

Peace out.

How do I choose?

So I've basically been debating what I should major in all day. At EMU, my designated major, as I have told them, is Biology, with a goal of medical school, and eventually becoming a surgeon. But there's so much, so many other things that I can do, and would enjoy doing. I want to explore them, with a chance to change my mind, and know what I want to do. But some things I guess I'll never know until the day comes. I love music. I love writing songs, and coming up with weird chord patterns, or finding awesome melodies to go with the classic ones. I love to write.. In my journal at least, and although I don't think that I could stand having a career in Writing because of how much I dread writing papers for school, I still think that I could enjoy it, even if just for a memoir somewhere down the road. I love to knit, though that in itself is not enough to occupy my mind. I'm always knitting when I am also doing something else-driving somewhere, or talking on the phone. I love taking pictures. Not a lot, but sometimes, and it always helps to have an amazing sunrise in the morning. I like to study the Bible. It fascinates me and I just want to understand all of it all the way. I have no idea what kind of career would become of that. Sometimes when I daydream about having a CD and I think of themed types. One idea was to have an entire CD of songs that were inspired by the feelings of Biblical women. I kind of started on that one, but I didn't get far. I wrote three songs. I love music. Maybe that should be my career. But for a very long time, I've wanted to have the advantage of being finacially stable, and because of my interest in biology, and according to everyone, my smarts, I've always considered medicine to be my career path. But then again, maybe I should just be a surgeon until all my loans are paid off and then do what I love to do. But what's that?

Welcoming Silence

Music is my life. It describes me. It completes me. It gives me peace, helps me work through what's on my mind, and figure what I want. Music is a term or something that describes me, and balances the chaos and the silence that envelope the rest of my time. There is always a "musik" in someone's life. It's the thing that keeps one from going crazy when there's twenty poopy diapers, or that annoying co-worker just doesn't know when to quit. Your "music" is the headache reducer, stress-relieveing, relaxing activities that you take on to escape the reality that's not so bright all the time. So take this into consideration as you read. Take it in. Take advice. Take your music, and let it free you.

While being a musician, it's sometimes completely necessary to invoke the right of silence. There's always a need for alone time, especially when life beyond the world of music is jam-packed with questions and demanding things. I thrive off of the days when the chaos stops, even just for a moment. It lets me hear the true voice within me, and the real questions that I have to ask. It's in the moments of silence that I find out what I'm truly worried about, what's been on my mind, and how I need to make balance occur in my day. It's the balance of chaos, music, and silence that lets one's true self escape the bonds of the mind. So here's my recommendation to you. Think of a way that you can break away from your chaos, find your music, and feel the silence. Let the nature, the world around you fill you with peace of mind. Seek God in your own way. Learn to listen, not just to the outside, but to the inside. Find balance in what you do to figure your worries.

As for me, worries are just for the future. Who? what, when, where. How? Why? Can I possibly be able to do what I need and want to do and that be the same thing? Can I know that my heart, my mind and my soul are not going to agree, yet still feel okay with that? Is there a way that I can escape the loans that will follow me into college? Can I have any idea who or what is going to be there for me through moving, going to college, and then whatever's next?
This is why I have faith.

"So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2Corinthians4:18) What we see, we take for granted. "Look there's a tree. I can keep breathing because it's there." What we don't see, we don't understand. "Why is that tree there? Why does it take my waste and produce something to keep me from stopping breathing? Why do I breathe? What's my life plan?" We spend eternity contemplating the unseen. People have philosophized about the unseen since the beginning of time, and will continue doing so until the end of time. So I know that human life is temporary, but God is eternal.