Urban Anthropology Paper.

Beware. It's SOO long.

Introduction

The District of Colombia is segregated. From the visual of race to the levels of economic wealth in the area, there are people living at the bottom and the top of the totem pole. In adolescence, teenagers are influenced by their neighborhoods, schools, peers, and parents. This influence produces drive within students to achieve, or leads them to become apathic and unwilling. High school aged adolescents reflect the enthusiasm of such into their own lives, in the ways that are demonstrated so. Woodrow Wilson high school and Bethesda Chevy Chase High School are two segregated schools. Students come from all types of neighborhoods and family situations to come together at school with their peers, and at this point, students are sponges for examples. “All individuals develop within a variety of environmental contexts… the setting having direct contact with the individual (family, neighborhood, peers, and school), which, in turn influence how they will [act] with various [people]” (Foney and Cunningham 144). At Bethesda Chevy Chase, students come from the cities surrounding the area, which have wealthier families attending. Woodrow Wilson High School is in the District of Colombia, Bethesda Chevy Chase is located in Bethesda Maryland. The students’ racial identities flip flop between schools—there are 51% African Americans and 23% White students at Woodrow Wilson, and 49% White and 23% African American students at Woodrow Wilson. There is an obvious difference with the attitude of the students, which can be because of the racial factor. The following observations, interviews, and research show how the influence of others, and the bias of students per teacher, class length, and neighborhood all build or decrease the interest and drive of the students attending high school.

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School is well-kept, with mowed grass, trimmed bushes, a minimal amount of litter on the walkways approaching the building, and a walled off area from the dumpster. It has four vast floors, clean hallways, a cyber café, and a courtyard. Teachers resemble hallway security, reminding students that they are on the way to class, not a red carpet event, and nudge students to get moving. Being that there is low security, I can walk into the school, assumed a student or a teacher’s assistant and don’t have a need for a visitor’s badge, although it is expected that visitors wear these. There is silence in the empty halls when students are in class, with the occasional late student, and attentive listeners in the classroom. Bethesda graduates almost 95% of its’ students, and of these, 93.7% plan to attend college (BCC). Of the students I interviewed, New York University, Michigan University, Pennsylvania State University, and University of Virginia are some of the schools that students are planning to attend, with the assistance of their parent’s checkbooks. Students in this class have parents who are from Egypt, Germany, England, and Cuba, along with the United States.

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School is located in Bethesda, Maryland, and is one stop out of D.C., off the Redline Metro. BCC has over 1800 students, who are 62% white, 16.1% African American, 14% Hispanic, and 8% Asian American (BCC). These students also come from all over the world, with bilingual abilities, parents who coach athletic stars on communication skills, and prestigious college plans. I attend the first two fifty minute periods of an eight period day at BCC. Bethesda is situated in an upper-class business district, down the road from the Metro station, and students come from neighbor towns, like Kensington, Silver Spring, Friendship Heights, as well as Bethesda itself to attend the high school.Most students who graduate from BCC go to college, only 6% are seek direct employment after graduation, and only .2% of BCC students join the military.

Woodrow Wilson High School

Located in the heart of D.C., in Tenleytown, called Woodrow Wilson High School. This school houses over 1500 students, and of these, 51% African American, 23% white, 17% Hispanic, and 8% Asian (DCPS). These students come from across the world; I have met students from Iraq, Belgium, Germany, Taiwan, the Balkans, and Latin America. Wilson students come from all over Northwest D.C.

As I enter Woodrow Wilson High School, I’m required to sign in, present an identification card, put my bag on the conveyor belt to pass through the X-ray machine, and walk through a metal detector. I’m asked to wear a visitor’s badge, and am questioned by security when I do not. Sometimes when I arrive, get my visitor’s badge, go through the metal detector and go into the hall, I’m still questioned as to why I am there, because I look so much like a student. Security lines the halls of Wilson high school. Even though I know exactly what I’m doing there, and know it’s nothing conspicuous, I still fear their wrath.

Wilson is one of the better schools in the District of Colombia area. There are many programs that influence students to achieve in their high school careers, and lead them to college. These are called Career Tracks, and students can follow these in their own individual choice for their future, in areas such as Business, Engineering, Science, in the Arts, or in Media and Communications. Of those 80% that graduate from Wilson High, nine out of ten attend college all over the country (Wilson). Though Wilson High School is rather prestigious in academics and extra programs for the students to be a part of, it has issues. The building is old—wires line the walls rather than being in them, the doors are heavy and don’t open as you expect, the stairs have a fence separating the “up” and “down” sides, signs which are rarely followed. There is trash in the hallways. Students dawdle on the way to class, and have to be frequently prodded to get to class on time, with bullhorns, and security yelling throughout the halls. To enter the school, one must have I.D., and go through a metal detector, and wear a nametag.

Though the school is becoming “modernized” so that it is in better shape for the larger amount of students that are going to continually attend Wilson, the “under construction” look of the school isn’t the best for it’s image. There are grassless paths where students defined shortcuts to the actual sidewalks. There are discarded, forgotten pencils, scissors, paper, candy wrappers, and other miscellaneous things on the ground on the way in. Parking is wherever a car can fit that isn’t in the fire lane, sometimes on the sidewalk, and lining the entrance to the school. \

Chaos reigns in some classes at Woodrow Wilson High School. There are students that want to learn, and these lead and add to discussion in class, and bring up good ideas, but they battle with the students that talk religiously during the class. Each period of class is ninety minutes long, and each day alternates to different classes. Though it takes longer to get the class to order, and to get students on task, there is great discussion coming from all the students around. At Wilson high school, 80% of all students graduate. This is one of the better schools that are in D.C., fitting into the median of the D.C.’s public schools, some graduating 100% of their classes and others only 38% of their students graduate (Graduation).

Interviews

Bethesda Chevy Chase High School

Alli, a senior with a 3.6 GPA, was looking to go to New York University. Her mother works at Verisign, and her father works as a drum teacher. They are paying for her education, though in what career and field she has no idea what she wants to do. She said she wouldn’t attend NYU that she had planned if her parents couldn’t pay for it. Alli gets a $30 allowance a week, and unlimited funding for whatever programs and school activities she’s involved in at school. She is on the gymnastics team, and is part of several of the school’s clubs. When going out with friends, they usually go to movies, or eat out. Alli lives in Bethesda, and is white. She thinks her schooling and economic situation is an advantage to her because she “can do almost anything with the resources that [she has].”

Renee lives in Friendship Heights. Her mother is a teacher with a Master’s degree, and her stepfather is self-employed, and didn’t finish college. Renee has a 3.7 G.P.A., is white, and is part of the Advanced Placement program, National Honors Society, and the Spanish Honors Society at BCC. Renee’s parents are also paying for her college education, as she looks to attend Michigan University or the University of South California, with an Undecided Major. She was “not sure” what she would do if her parent’s couldn’t or didn’t pay for school, and “would have to think about her options.” Though she doesn’t receive an allowance, her parents provide money for the Metro, and other activities. Renee spends her time outside of school working with Teen Court, an internship, and her English class. She thinks that her school and economic situation is “an advantage and a disadvantage. [She] gets a good education, but it’s financially hard to live around [D.C.].” When spending time with friends, she “talks on the phone at random times,” but considers her self “pretty anti-social.”

Willi, a Hispanic student from BCC, has a 3.1 GPA, lives in Silver Spring, in a four-bedroom house. Her dad is in the construction business and her mom stays home. Her parents are from El Salvador and received a high school education before coming to the United States. She is part of the Advanced Placement classes at BCC, and volunteers in her spare time. She’s planning to continue her education into paralegal studies, and her parents are paying for her college. She would not go to the school where she was planning to if her parents weren’t going to pay for it. Willi receives $50 a week as an allowance. When she spends time with her friends, they go to the mall, or out to eat, and Willi describes her friends as “energetic and laid back”. She feels that her placement in society is an advantage to her because “the D.C. area offers a lot of open schools and businesses that [she] can place [herself] into.”

Jessica has a 2.5 GPA, is part of the golf team, and feels she has an advantage because of where she attends school because she “gets more opportunities.” She’s African American, and she lives in Silver Spring. She plans on attending a four-year university, and her parents are paying for it, but she would attend there regardless of her parent’s money. Whenever Jessica needs money, her parents will give her whatever amount she asks for, either for her own will or for school programs. She spends some of her extra time with her family, and goes shopping with her “outgoing” friends when she gets a chance.

Georgia’s parents are from El Salvador and her mom is a clerk, and her father, a mechanic, both have a high school education. She’s part of the College Tracks program at BCC, and has a 3.0 GPA. She wants to go to school for Law, and her parents are going to pay for her schooling, and she would attend school regardless of their contributions. Georgia plays sports and runs in her spare time, and when she spends time with her friends, they go to the movies or to the mall, and she describes her friends as “outgoing and fun”. Her parents will giver her $100 for an allowance. She feels that she has an advantage attending Bethesda Chevy Chase, because she’s “getting a great education.”

Daniel lives in an apartment with his dad; his mom passed away two months ago. His dad is a carpenter and his parents are from El Salvador, and received a high school education. Daniel has a 2.71 GPA, and is planning on attending Pennsylvania State University. His dad is paying for his education, and Daniel would still attend even if his dad didn’t pay for it. He receives no allowance, and minimal amounts of money for school programs. He isn’t involved in anything at school, but instead, in his spare time, he “babysits, listens to music, and hangs out with friends.” When hanging out with as he describes, his “trustworthy, funny, sometimes obnoxious” friends, they “play games and sports, hang out, and go out to eat.” Right now, his situation with school, his parents and his placement in society is a “disadvantage because [he] lost his mom. [They] have a lot of expenses to pay for, making it hard to pay for [his] education.”

Cal is an African American who lives in an apartment in Silver Spring with his father and stepmother. His father is a network Engineer for D.O.D. and his stepmom works for the F.B.I. His parents both received Bachelor’s degrees from college. Cal is a senior, and has a 2.57 GPA. He plans to go to school for Architecture to be a developer. His parents are going to pay for some of his education, and he would still attend school even if his parents weren’t able to pay for it. He receives $40-50 a week to spend at his own will. Cal is involved in Operation Simile, B. S. A., football, indoor and outdoor track at school, and in his extra time, he likes to sing, study architecture, and workout. He describes his friends as “smart, confident, responsible in was, and overall good people.” When he spends time with his friends, they “play Madden [a fantasy football video game], go out to eat, party, or train for football.” He feels that his socioeconomic placement is an advantage because “a lot of kids don’t have the same privileges.”

Dillon is a senior at BCC. His GPA is 3.7 and he plans to attend the University of Virginia, and is undecided about a career plan. His parents are paying for his education, and if they weren’t, Dillon said he wouldn’t attend UVA. He receives $20 a month to spend at his own will, and an “unlimited” amount for when he needed funding for school activities. His father graduated college and is a landscaper, and his mother is a counselor and has a B.S. Dillion is a part of the National Honors Society, and the Cross Country team. He lives in Kensington, MD, in a “brick, four bedroom house” which his parents own. Dillon spends his free time playing sports, and “chilling”. When he spends time with his friends, they “eat, play basketball, and chill”. Dillon describes his friends as easygoing, social, and funny. His heritage is Spanish, Irish, and Cuban, and he feels like he has a situational “advantage because [he] has money to go out, [he] lives in a nice neighborhood, goes to a good school.”

Woodrow Wilson High School

Nick, a junior, lives in Northwest Washington, DC. He lives in a row house with his mom, who is a landlord and works for the census. She received a high school diploma as the extent of her education. Nick has a 2.7 GPA, and is part of the baseball team and the Boys to Men program at Wilson. He hopes to go to school for Engineering and landscaping, and is hoping that his parents will pay for his education. He would still attend if his parents didn’t pay for it, but “would try to get scholarships.” Of the money his parents give him to spend at his own will, it’s “not much, but enough to buy what [he] want[s].” In addition to that, any money that he needs for school is also supplied. In his spare time, he “goes outside, and does community service.” When he spends time with friends, they go to the mall or the movies, and Nick describes his friends as “active.” He is African American and is also Muslim. He feels that his socioeconomic placement is “an advantage because [his] parents have experienced what [he] will face in the future, so [he’s] prepared.”

Matt is an African American senior, lives in Northwest D.C. His mother is a head teller of the Federal Credit Union, and has schooling up through high school. He has a 2.3 G.P.A. Matt wants to be a journalist and attend Virginia Commonwealth University. His parents will be paying for some of his education, and he would still attend that school if his parents weren’t going to help pay for it. Matt only receives money from his parents for his own will on certain occasions, and gets a reasonable amount for school programs and activities. In his spare time, he writes, socializes, and plays basketball. Matt describes his friends as “swagg”. Matt feels that if he had attended at different school he would be a much better student, but would be ‘boring and dull as a person.’

Cate, an African American student, lives in a four-bedroom house in the D.C. area. Her mother is a computer technician and her father a minister. Cate plans to pursue a college degree at West Salem University to be a computer technician, and her parents are paying for her college. If they didn’t pay for it, she would still attend that school. Her GPA is 2.9. Cat’s parents give her about $100 to spend at her will at the mall, and have spent about $1000 total on school programs and activities through her high school career. She’s part of the program at the math center and the peer mediation program. In her spare time, Cate sketches and practices photography. She works as an intern at the Department of State in the Human Resources Department. Cate feels that her socio economic situation is an advantage because she is offered so much.

Jan is a senior at Wilson High School. She has a 2.6 GPA, and is planning on attending UMES. She wants to own her own sports bar. Her parents are going to help pay for her education, but she’s seeking financial aid. She has a job, and is involved in cheerleading at school, and ballet in her spare time. She lives in Northeast DC. Her father is an orthodontist and her mother a teacher, and between them, they have a Master’s Degree and a PhD.  Her parents are willing to pay for whatever the amount that school activities cost. When Jan spends time with her friends, they go to parties, movies and to the mall. She described her friends as stuck up. She feels like if she attended a different school, she would have an advantage to the school that she is attending, but she likes Wilson High and it has everything. “What you get from a better school may no be what you need to grow in character and compassion for others.”

Irene is a sophomore at Wilson High School She lives in a three-bedroom house in the D.C. area. Irene’s dad works as an analyst at the Library of Congress, and her mom works at Mitne Homeland Security. Her father has two Masters degrees, and her mother has one. Her GPA is 3.6. She is part of the HAM academy, and the basketball and softball team. As a career option, she wants to be either a linguist of a forensic anthropologist. Her parents are not going to pay for her education. She plans on going to school with or without parental funding. If she asks her parents for money to spend for her own will, they will give her $10, and about the same amount if she needs some money for school activities. In Irene’s spare time, she plays soccer and volunteers. She spends time with her friends in the area of where they live. Irene feels like she has an advantage because she has money to further her education, and doesn’t feel like anything is a disadvantage.

Issues Within the Schools

Teacher to Student Ratio

There are many different issues that I observed in the schools. One of the main issues that I noticed was the student to teacher ratio. Bethesda Chevy Chase has one teacher to about fifteen students, and Woodrow Wilson High School has a ratio of one teacher to thirty-one students.  This causes quite a discrepancy between the teachers in the different schools and their ability to teach the students.

At Bethesda, students are more likely to behave. They have good leadership, and have had consistent teacher to student ratios in their schools. These teachers have the educational example that shows students what an education can give in a life—there are careers that secure bank accounts and jobs with positions that are always going to be need to be filled.

Because these students behave, the teachers have control of the classroom most of the time. They command the attention of the students. Students at BCC respect their teachers because the teachers are educated in their specialized areas. Many of the teachers have their Master’s in their subjects. Because of the amount of staff in the building—there are 118 staff that are professionally educated, students have many different highly educated role models for to look up to (BCC). Many different classes go on during the day and students have lots of options to choose from, all from good teachers. Class periods are only fifty minutes long—students’ attention spans are met—and teachers keep them interested using projectors to show relevant videos and articles on the Internet. Bethesda is an upper class school with an upper class teaching system, meeting students where they are with their attention levels. This is great for the students that are lower class that attend Bethesda Chevy Chase. Whether or not they went to a middle school or former high school with bad leadership and scheduling, BCC offers a way for these lower class students to succeed.

Woodrow Wilson High School has issues with behavior in the classroom. At Wilson, students brought up with good leadership in schools show respect to teachers.  There are only a small percentage of students who follow this ideal—something I’ve observed is that students, in a predominantly African American school, who are disinterested in the class, spend the period talking, while white students, in a predominantly white school spend the period being silently disinterested. At Woodrow Wilson High School, only 23% of the students are white, and this percentage is not equivalent in the classes that I have worked in—there are less white students (DCPS). At Wilson, many of the African American students have the black student persona that doesn’t want to have anything to do with the persona of being white and excelling. Because of the higher amount of students per teacher, there is less control in the classroom. The length of classes at Wilson High School leaves room for teachers to take control of the classes, however, because each class is ninety minutes long, the students’ attention span is much shorter than the length of class. Though there are many teachers in this school that have their degrees and have attitudes that demand respect, students still don’t pay attention. The problem with having so many students in the classroom is that education disappears as a way of mental growth for an adolescent and becomes a factory, where efficiency is the most important thing, and students study for tests, not to learn a subject. When someone knows the answer, others migrate toward him or her, not to learn their ways of knowledge, but ask for the answer. I have seen this at Wilson high school, as one female student does her homework for math during the Social Issues class I attend, and compares answers with another classmate, who brings her work to class. There is a constant fight between the students and the teachers to win their attention. This is becoming easier now that they are banning electronics in classrooms, and attempting to hold students accountable. The obvious problem over even the distractions in the classroom is that factor that there aren’t enough teachers. If there were more teachers, smaller classes, and newer materials, desks, programs, and buildings, then the student attention span toward learning would be more focused on it.

Racial Diversity

Racial diversity is one of the District area’s promises. Students come from everywhere because their parents come from everywhere, and many attend Bethesda and Woodrow Wilson schools. Both schools have large chunks of African American students, and this affects the ‘teachability’ of students within the schools, though in different extents. Beverly Tatum, PhD, says in her renowned book “Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together In the Cafeteria?” And Other Conversations About Race, “in racially mixed schools, Black children are much more likely to be in the lower track than in the honors track. Such apparent sorting along racial line sends a message about what it means to be Black” (56).

At Bethesda, the student body is 62.1% White, 16.1% African American, 14% Hispanic, 7.2% Asian, and 0.5% American Indian. The white students have high success on standardized testing—at BCC, 98% white students passed the Maryland Schools Assessment, and 98.6% passed the reading assessment, whereas African Americans, being taught by the same teachers and in the same classes, passes the mathematics assessment at 78.3% and the reading assessment at 89.9%. These rates of passing are better than Woodrow Wilson High School’s student body as a whole, on the DC-CAS. Because these scores are so high, I had a thought that these African American students have assimilated into the system, being of an upper class community. These students could have also been accepted into the system for having great athletics. The seating at Bethesda is not naturally segregated into groups, but there are not a lot of African Americans in the schools. Of the African Americans in the school, many of them fit into the “success of the athletically talented.” Many of the other African Americans at Bethesda also “play down [their] Black identity in order to succeed in school” (Tatum, 58). The first class of the day is quiet, but seem interested in what the teacher is talking about, though little discussion is approached. There’s more noise in the second class of the day. Students opinionate themselves and argue with ideas brought to discussion. This student isn’t afraid to talk about the things that bother them in society and within their own lives. Discussion has ranged from cat calling’s positive and negative sides, to students being open about dealing drugs in their neighborhood.

There are 51% African American Students at Woodrow Wilson High School, with minorities of 23% white students and 17% Hispanic Students. There are 6% Asian students.  The classes that I attended were mostly African American, but there were larger amounts of white and Asian students in the classes through their own choice of scheduling. In contrast, many of the African American students in the class were placed there because of scheduling mishaps at Woodrow Wilson high school. These students don’t care about their grade and the class. They don’t want to participate or do the little homework that the teacher gives them. Though this may be because they don’t want to be like the “white person who goes on to be a CEO”, there is also a possibility that their default of boredom and disinterest is to talk, disrupt, and skip classes that they are not interested in. These students are also driven by their peers, and when no one else wants to do anything, neither do they. African Americans are upfront about their attitudes, and disrespect because they personally feel like they don’t need whatever teachers are teaching them. The class that I attend is an elective at the school.

Segregation

Though not often addressed, there is a slight issue of segregation within both Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, and Wilson High School. Much of the time, segregation is not up front, and noticeable at first glance—it has taken an entire semester to establish what the segregation within these schools is for me.

At Bethesda Chevy Chase, the school itself is not segregated--there are students of all ethnicities and backgrounds attending. However, a large amount of students attend BCC because their parents can afford to live in the area. The neighborhood is segregated—there are less black people who live in the area because it is an area where people with more money live. There are less African American teachers and faculty at Bethesda because there are less African American students. The classes that I attend at BCC seem to have the ratio of African American to white students at Bethesda, but there may be a possibility that many of the students that were interested in the course where white that did not get to take it.

At Woodrow Wilson, the classroom itself seems segregated. African American students line the outside and back rows of the classes that I attend. They talk in the back while the white students sit in the front rows, listening and giving the teacher their attention (with the exception of those white students that do their math homework in class). Students that were interested in taking the class were intellectuals and willing to listen. Those that did not want to be there were less likely to listen and did not want to be there.

Students’ Drive and Interest in the Class

All of the students that I interviewed were interested in going to college. At Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, and Woodrow Wilson high school, there are similar levels of drive, with an occasional twist and turn.

At Bethesda Chevy Chase High School, there are students who sleep in class, but many less than at Wilson High School. With classes being shorter there is less reason and ability to go to sleep. Students at BCC have more interest in learning about the subject and participating in the discussions now that they know the teacher better and can connect with the relevancy of the material. There seems to be a lesser amount of drive to reach higher without the support of a parent to fund the necessary school. There is drive from some that are driven by ideas, knowledge, and wanting to attain more ideas and knowledge. Among students, there are many who aren’t interested in going to the same university that they originally wanted to attend if their parents wouldn’t pay for it.

Wilson’s students have different levels of interest and drive. There are many who have the drive to attend college and have a career in mind that they want to do, but are not interested in the present class that they are enrolled in. Students eat, sleep, play with their smart phones, chew snuff, and leave class to do something else, but there are some students who listen in class and add their opinion to discussion in class.  There is diversity in the apathy to get work done within Wilson, but most students want to finish sooner so that they can spend time with their friends later. There is also abhorrence to being in class and being forced to listen. In the end, those that are driven do drive, and they excel. Those that could care less continue to care less. It’s much easier to teach a class that is interested that one who wants to just get out of school. Classes are large, and that makes making each lesson relevant to each student is rather difficult.

Influences

Within an adolescent’s life, they are influenced by everything around them. They are mental sponges, taking in ideas, mannerisms, and ideas, and then personifying them wherever they go. Some of the biggest influences for teenagers are their parents, peers, the neighborhood they live in, and their schools.

At Bethesda, there is a good amount of parental influence. Students whose parents have been well educated lead their children to do likewise. In contrast, parents with soly high school diplomas still urge their children to get more schooling. Parents are willing to fund unlimited amounts for school activities, and do so by supporting their children’s college choices financially. The peer influence at BCC is a positive force. Since 93.7% of the students that graduate Bethesda go on to college, many students follow their predecessor’s example, and get their education. Peers who participate in class make others more likely to do so. Relationally, if students know other students in their classes well, they are more likely to take them seriously when they have a discussion in class, rather than sloughing off their ideas and thoughts. Students who live in high-class neighborhoods that are well cared for are more likely to take care of their schools in the same way, making it a better school. Because BCC has such a high level of Highly Qualified Professionals teaching in their specialties, making many programs that lead to success for students, BCC has a positive influence on their students. Classes are well taught and concise, the rooms are well kept, well heated, and bright, and these things make a huge difference in learning environments.

Woodrow Wilson High School’s parents have positive influence on their children. They are good examples through their successful careers and schooling they pursued. They encourage their children to do the same—to be successful, attend college, and do well in classes. The peer influence at Wilson high school can be a positive and a negative influence. Within the students with the higher G.P.A.’s and drives, there are students planning to attend prestigious colleges to pursue their careers. These students influence their friends to shoot high and hope for nothing less. Within the peers that have lower G.P.A’s, with fewer worries about school and more worries about what they’re going to do after school, influence is both positive and negative. There are some students who strive and reach for the stars with their work. They work really hard to do what they need to do to get to college. There are also many students that have an attitude and have dreams and ideas, but are too caught up in their emotion to be motivated by these. These students live in neighborhoods all over D.C., with varying degrees of poverty and wealth, success and failure. Students will treat their neighborhoods like they treat their schools, and vice versa. Thus, neighborhoods have both a positive and a negative influence on students. Woodrow Wilson’s example is a mixed influence. There are many teachers with drive to get students to college and to teach so that students will learn to learn, not to get an “A” on a test. But the high school itself has litter around it. The dumpster at Wilson High School is on the way to the main entrance. Parking is chaotic, and there are parked cars on both the sidewalk and the road to the school. Grass is worn away where a makeshift path has been placed by multitudes of students. The school is under construction for “modernization”, to make room for more students coming in, but it is far from being beautiful and welcoming. Wilson looms like a prison sometimes. They are implementing an In-school Suspension program from students who are late to class to reduce tardy students. There is much proactivity to improve the school, but as with the Civil Rights Movement, nothing changed until the minds of the people involved also changed.

Conclusion

From my observations, both schools are good. There are good programs and teachers in each. The issues come with the amount of students that enter in the doors, and the influence that they have. Those who have the drive to succeed do succeed, and those who could care less, do care less.  The issues come from the students themselves, but also from their own influences.

It's almost over-

I'm ready and not ready.
I want to do the next thing, but I'm still here, still sustaining relationships.
I don't want to have to move on.
I want to settle down.
But this movement is going to continue for a little while.
But it will stop eventually. This I know.
Today was great.
Which is completely amazing, considering the five hours of sleep that I got.

Quitting the Drugs Again

This time, it's definitely cold turkey.
That crack coffee that my housemates have been making lately is ruining my life.
Actually my sleep schedule, and my level of energy.
I can be normal.
With out caffeine.
No more soda (this week)
No more coffee (at least this afternoon)
Go to bed before ten (or at least, midnight)
And sleep the freak down.
That's my motto. (sort of)






(CAN ANYBODY TELL THAT I'M NOT GIVING THIS ALL MY EFFORT?)
yum. bananas.

Time Flies?

Anna's been out of the U.S. for the entire semester with the Guatemala crosscultural. I feel like I haven't seen her in a long time, and I can't wait for her to return home. Yet, when I hear about the Middle East Cross Cultural, and that they are coming back in a week--the same thing, I barely think they have been gone at all. This may or may not have anything to do with the fact that I'm not emotionally close to anyone on that Cross Cultural, whereas I am close to Anna, Stacy, and somewhat to several others that are on the trip. So I guess that the time flies for those you don't think about.

Same thought, different people. There are several YES teams--Albania and Venezuela, I think--that are finishing up at the end of April. In fact, they will be debriefing with me when I enter training. Their time has flown. All of a sudden, the end of the semester is a week and a half away, and there is so much to show for it, but there is so much that is still shifting--still insecure--and I am shifting and insecure as well.
I think what I'm referring to are the different things going on this summer, and where I'm going to be with all of these, and if they are going to work out. One thought--I'm going to New York, and I'm over halfway funded. I know when I'm going into training, and I know when I'm arriving in New York, but I only have a little of an idea of what I will be doing. Also, I'm signed up to earn service learning credit hours for the three months I will be there.

The issue there is that I've been in communication with the woman in charge for almost the entire semester, and I feel like everything has been moving at snail speed, and I wish it was all clarified, and I knew which professor would be my mentor, and what type of reading I should be pursuing to satisfy that portion of the contract.
I've finally made a decision about my major, which makes life take a completely different path. I'm excited about this because suddenly there is a defined path with a street named "Grace --->" and I know which way to turn. I know that there is passion in this area. I know this because I could do these things for no money and be satisfied--I'm doing it now, paying for it.  This is like music for me. People are my other music, they challenge me to do different things, to try harder keys and progressions, and write different words. This is why I want to train in the field of Social Work. And I know this time is going to fly as well. Soon all of these classes are going to be satisfied, and I'm going to be shipped back to Washington D.C. for my senior practicum, and then onward, to another city, to do what God has glistened my life with. Love others.

We watched "The Count of Monte Cristo" after we got home from the game. I remember reading through the book--same title-- by Alexander Dumas, in eighth grade, and showing Casey the name of the author for his own entertainment. I remember reading it and loving it, though the Count chooses revenge--even over love and those begging for forgiveness. But while watching the movie, I also recalled how long it had been since I'd read the book. Five long years. Years of change, growth, Maturity. It's time to read "the Count" again.
It's interesting to me how we can become so enveloped into things we are interested in. They take our minds--imaginations-- and run with them, skipping through ideas, and dreams. The shiny facade of movies do that exactly. They stimulate our brains--but only to what we can follow within the story.
I'm a commenter. I think of things in the storyline that I find interesting, or funny, or relevant to something that it reminds me of, and I make it known. And I'm more likely to do it with someone that I know well. I've been reminded of this by Zach, and before, I actually wasn't aware that I was a commenter. It's something Dad does too--whenever he and Mom attend a church service that they are not involved in, he sits next to her, and during the sermon, he whispers his comments into her ear. It drives my mom crazy. So it's completely insane that I didn't know that I did this--unless it doesn't annoy Zach. Which I probably will end up asking him.. But I became aware of this tonight, while we were watching the movie, because Jess was sitting next to me, and she said, "Grace, if you whisper in my ear one more time.." Oops. Didn't mean to annoy you.  In relevance to what I've been talking about, this movie flew by, and before we knew it, it was ten to one, and I was still wide awake (probably due to the slight amount of mystery coffee that I added to my hot soy cocoa before I joined the movie clan).
Something to think about. I don't like wasting things, and of all of these, I hate wasting time. That being said, I hate the idea of missing out on things that are happening. For example, this summer, I'm not going to be able to work at Camp Luz. I'm not going to meet the new campers, whether Mini or Youth, or work with the new staff, and become a better facilitator. I'm going to miss it a lot, and miss the trusting deep friendships that occur only in that type of situation. But I also know that my time is not going to be wasted, and before I know it, I'm going to be leaving a new set of friends behind in NYC to come back to EMU, and stability and love. All of these things that I will also be leaving behind in NYC, and in D.C., and in Wauseon, and in Streetsboro. And eventually, EMU will be left behind. This too shall pass.
This time. And I don't want to waste it. Which brings me to my next point.
I see how some people are in need of a fix-a drug to make them open, or happy, or easy-to make their life worth living. But I don't--I can't stand the idea of being so wasted that you can't remember what happened. I can't stand the idea of spending so much money on drinks that you can't pay for the taxi home. I can't imagine being so drunk that you can't stand up straight or see where you are going. I've experienced fun with people--insane laughter, slap happy moments, and sleepless nights. And I remember them. Because I wanted to. And if these things are meant to happen, they will, and for me, I will try to make them remembered, because I don't want to have to worry that I'll ever do something I will regret.
I feel as if when I reach the age of twenty one, I will drink alcohol. But I will only do so if it is something I can enjoy. I hope that it will not become something social and something that I do to show how adventurous I am (this could be a weakness). I hope that I drink because I like the taste, and not for a buzz and a feeling. I hope that money I spend will be in moderation, as will the amount I consume.
I want to remember all that I've done and all that I've experienced. Time not remembered is time wasted, no matter what anyone tries to say.

I haven't stayed up this late, or this awake in a long time. I can finally say that I'm done with whatever illness ailed me, and that I am rather blessed to be filled with energy to do things with people. That time where I couldn't do anything because I was so tired was rather deteriorating to my mental state, and now I feel beautiful and happy, and I am really content. And now, I am going to church tomorrow. Thus I should sleep for a part of that, es verdad?

Of a Garden, Friendship, and Sunshine.

This past week has been so wonderful.
I'm not exactly sure what made it so good, but the weather definitely had some great influence. \
At any point during the last week, I was able to go outside after I came home from work, and get some sun, or eat my lunch on the picnic table outside, making for a warm, wonderful week.
I finally told some of my housemates that I decided to go vegan. They are taking it well. I'm also enjoying the fact that I love beans!! and I eat them WAY too much. But they are yummy and cheap. What am I supposed to do.

Besides Wednesday's Canoeing fake-out that was actually super serious--we arrived at the place of canoeing and waited around. All of a sudden this guy who worked there started setting up cones, and made Sanj, Bry, and Fets get off the dock. He told us that there was a body floating in the water, and then all the fire trucks, police and some FBI folk showed up. The guys said that they only saw the oil floating on the water, and some decomposed skin, and then we were told that we needed to leave, as much as our curiosity wanted to stay and cross that yellow tape boundary.

Instead of going to work in the morning on Wednesday, I went in the afternoon, to American University, to Colman's class there, and it was a great class. I enjoyed listening, and felt like I should have been coming to that class all along--I had wanted to, but it was on Wednesday when we had seminar.

Thursday approached as my day off-which I declared to myself at the beginning of the week. And I think that it may be a large part about why this week was so good. Just the fact that I established a day of rest, and then the rest of the day's events were also pretty awesome.
I decided to spend the day working in the yard, I pulled weeds in the front, and then cleaned up all the yard waste in the back--I finally got bags from the hardware store. I also dumped the fish pond out, which some of the pond water, more or less, is still sitting in the hole. But that is NOT my fault. If it were up to me, we would have a lot of good draining soil.

I showed Emily my masterpiece and then we decided to plant seeds! We went to the hardware store again and bought Spinach, Kale, Lettuce, Corn, Pole beans, Cherry Tomatoes, Zucchini, and Watermelon. When we got back, Emily realized that she had a shortened amount of time, and we did some speed planting. Which has to be the funnest way to plant things in the world. It's a race. We did pole beans, tomatoes, lettuce, spinach, kale, and corn in fifteen minutes. I love how it's going to look in a few months.

Emily invited me to her dinner party while we were working on the garden, and talking, as we have talked about many things this past semester. So I went to that, and had a great time. I met new people, I made curried vegetables, I yelled at a rice cooker, I played the piano in the basement, ate chocolate with poprocks in it. (which have lactose in them. poo on them) Conversations went from the tea partiers that were demonstrating on the mall on the 15th, to cats, and food. :)

Friday morning started much too early. But I went to Bethesda without any regrets-- we had our weekly protest with both classes and I had good conversation with students in both classes, although, as always, the second class was more interactive, even in class. Before the protest in the second class, Colman asked, "who haven't we met yet?" It's a routine thing--he gets everyone to stand in front of the class and talk about themselves. This time, I told Colman that they hadn't met me yet, so I stood up in front of the class, and answered the questions. The last question is always, "What's something about you that people would never know?"

Thinking back now, it's something that any observant person would know--the second graders in Mr. Abdullah's class noticed--"I have my tongue pierced." And of course, Colman being a former reporter, was "probbing" *insert sign language for prodding here" and asked what the benefits were.
I paused, and then told him that there were no benefits whatsoever, and that it was just for decoration.
Later when we were protesting, Lea, a senior from Germany who sits next to me in that class was talking to me about it, and said how Colman just did it for the laughs sometimes.

I went home, and decided to plant things in the garden, and nap later, so Emily and I went outside, and planted more lettuce, spinach, and kale, around the outside of the circle in the back, and little patches of onions all over!! I'm excited about these onions, and also several hills of zucchini and watermelon that we mounded all over the back, in between everything else that is going on.

When I came inside, the entire house deciding to go out to eat for lunch, with our 6400 money. So I put on a spring dress, and we headed over to Colombia Heights. We thought we knew which restaurant we wanted to go to, but no one ever does, so we walked around for a good half an hour before we picked one. We had Mediterranean yummies.                                        

I babysat Olivia in the evening. We watched part of Annie and I taught her how to double crochet.

When I came back to the house, I played Rook with Alli, Sanj, and Giles (Alli's brother). Alli and Giles were at the house because they had to catch a flight in the morning.

Just sad.

Sad that Zach isn't here.
And everything reminds me of him.
And I have this habit of finding pictures of him I haven't seen yet of him
And then I smile
And feel sad.
Sad I don't have a man to hug that will make me feel better.
Sad that I can't see him.
That I can't hear him.
That I feel sort of pointless at the moment.
But time can only go on, right?

So I'll let that time tick.
Tick away.
Im just going to go to bed.

Snapping Back Badly and Second Chances.

After that late-night bus ride home from home, I got back to DC on Monday, but I woke up Tuesday morning unable to function and so I didn't go to work. I got an email from Colman asking me to teach Thursday's class, so I went to work Wednesday. The days were warm and cozy, and the nights lukewarm and perfect to be out in the yard. I worked Thursday too, still tired, still adjusting. I had found out that Zach was going to be on the internet Thursday morning, but I also knew that I had to work. When I got the message from D that Zach was online at 9:30, at 10:30, and I knew I'd missed him, that ticked me off. Even though I knew that it wasn't going to work out. I was just mentally tired, and physically pooped. I worked in the yard that afternoon--cleared three LARGE bags of leaves and branches--one for each hour I worked, and somehow went to bed later than I planned again. So when my alarm went off for 5:45am Friday morning, I knew that it wasn't going to happen, and I slept in until 8:30. I felt guilty about it until I joined the living in the living room.

After some pronounced bad advice on the proportions of grounds to water, Sanj made coffee, Jess and Sanj drank it, and the caffeine took control of the two. I participated in the drug-induced energy by pouring myself a cup.

This made for some ecstatic arrivals of people who were coming to visit our people in the house. Alli came six hours early to surprise Sanj on their three month anniversary, and made his day/weekend.
Friday went completely well after that. Alli and I made bread. I weeded in the backyard. I played the piano--worked on an old song, making it relevant and better, and then Alli came downstairs, found me at the piano, and told me that I was coming with her, Sanj, and Lindsay to General Brook's Tavern.
So there was some chaos with people, cars, and driving, and then it was me, Alli, and Lindsay, sitting in the back of a restuarant, trying to figure out what to order that was vegan, and talking about church experiences.

Sanj came eventually, as did our food, though it was not the best.
When we came back to the house, there were a lot of people there--Phillip, James, Esther, Josh, and Erin--all invited by Jess. They were going to go Salsa Dancing.
I went to bed.

Saturday morning, I did yard work for Kim. I raked massive amounts of leaves to the compust bin, planted potatoes, and sprayed the pollen off of the porches. I finished at twelve, and then went back to the house, I made lunch.

Whilst I was making lunch, Fets and Lindsay were looking up sand volleyball courts, and asking who wanted to go. Corrie did, of course Lindsay and Fetsum did, and then Andrew and Monica (Andrew's fiancee) were also going. They asked me if I wanted to come. When I hesitated to answer, Linsday said, "Grace, I used to feel like you loved me, but now it's just not the same."
Fetsum said, "Grace, I feel the same."
Corrie chimed in. "Yeah, Grace. If you don't go, I'm still mad about my haircut." (That is a long story.)
I still didn't say anything, but instead decided to go then.

We left, took the house car, sitting four people in the backseat--Lindsay was lying across Fets, Corr, and I in the back seat--following directions from Google maps, and Lindsay's phone. We ended up at Rock Creek Park, and there were no outdoor volleyball courts there, so we went to the second destination.
It was in Tenleytown, and American University, which we found out when we followed a wild goose chase to a dead end in a residential area, with a path to a fence where we could see the volleyball court.
So we finally arrived at American University, and then we played volleyball. It was a lot of fun. Our team sucked.

We drove back, Lindsay rode on the floor of the back and when we got home, there was a cookout going on. Jess' group was going to go swing dancing, but then they were all so exhausted from hiking about the city all day that they didn't end up going. But there was a lot of good in that--Phillip played the piano in the basement.

Sunday rolled around. I attended House Church, and I played "Same as Me" after the mediation and it was well-accepted. I'm just starting to get to know people there, so it's hard for me to think that I have less than a month left here in D.C. Visiting people left on Sunday. Most of the girls in the house tanned in the back for most of the afternoon. I got an email from Zach, but it wasn't what I was expecting--it felt like an email my name was thrown into the address of, and that that was unfair to me. So I wrote a song, broke the spring on the damper pedal of the piano, and then went to see "Sophisticated Ladies" with the house.

Today the routine started up again. It was ok. I could take it. It was better than last week, and I got things done, and felt like my presence was meaningful. I meant to take a nap, and I lay out in the sun (SPF30 protected, no less).
I fixed the piano pedal.
I'm halfway funded for my summer missions trip. Thank you people of awesomeness, and the God who provides.
I'm going to bed.

My Participant Observation Paper

This is what I've been working on the past week and haven't been able to blog about my life because this HAS been my life. 
So here's your lesson about House Church, in Washington D.C.

            I attended House Church, located in Mary’s Center, a nonprofit organization providing housing for the church. Now presently located in Adams Morgan area of D.C., this church used to meet in individuals’ homes, then at Catholic University, when the group became too large. It has existed since the 1970s.

The church does not have a pastor or a permanent leadership team, but instead uses lay leadership, and members of the church volunteer to lead worship and “meditation”, to teach Sunday School, lead children’s circle, and to share of their life experiences and growths. House church has no declared denomination that they are affiliated with. Instead, they welcome different perspectives from different communities. The group of people that meet at House Church range from toddlers to adults in their early fifties and sixties, with the majority of the people attending being in their early thirties and forties, either single or married with children. The racial context of the group is mostly white people. Many of the attending members in the church come from Mennonite affiliated backgrounds, and are pacifists. This is shown in the musical setting, singing in four-part harmony.

            The church has no building of its own. This is intentional, and is, according to Doug Hertzler, one of the people that I interviewed, “a reminder that being a Christian is about service, not just worship, or the symbolism of a church building.” It is also productive, and is a way for their tithes to be put to better use. House Church is informal, and they improvise when needed—once, during one of the services I attended, they planned to have a fellowship meal the next week because there was a need for the youth to have a meal before they went ice-skating. The services are moments of silence, separated by words of reflection, prayers and praises, and bursts of song.

In House Church, each member’s reflections and experiences in the world are contained, as desired, in parts of the services throughout the year. The themes of the month for the services focus on things in people’s lives that they have experienced that have made them grow in their faith. The meditations are based on what they have experienced in the larger community. These things are viewed in connection with what they have lived through in the past, and learned through their faith. Members can apply what the mediation says to their own life.

Within the geographical community, Cheryl Martin, the woman I interviewed, felt like there wasn’t a community aspect within the church that was a part of their weekly lives. When the church began, service to the community was a part of their occupation, and daily lives. Many within the church have connections to outreach that they do or have done in the past, through mission or social justice work within the community.

When I attended House Church the three times, each time, the ritual was very similar. The service was begun in the same aspect and similar idea, as they were within the same monthly theme. The order of the service was the same, and only the content differed. The context depends very much on the theme of the months. Services in the same month may have the same theme, but different thoughts each service—different reflections at meditation, different perspectives at Children’s Circle, and different discussions in Sunday school hour. This is necessary for variety in looking at how God is working within each person, and being able to reflect within oneself about how they can relate to what is being said.

One important aspect of the service is the singing time. People can reflect on the words of a song that is sung during a service, and when a man shared a song that he had written, and members could reflect upon the words.  Prayer is an important aspect, because it gives one member a chance to offer their prayer requests to God, be accountable to the group about what is going on in their lives, and it lets the other members pray for their friends. There is a lot of reflection time during the service, giving members a time to take in what is being said, and apply it to their own lives. Variety is one of the most important parts, different people with different thoughts—getting out the perspectives of the entire congregation. In this way, the church is very deeply connected to each other.  

Before I came to Community House Church, I thought that it would be similar to a Bible study, in the way that there would be a group discussion and singing time. I had attended a house church at EMU with some fellow students that was similar to the Bible study idea. I didn’t expect there to be a children’s moment, but I found it relevant and necessary to attend to the spiritual needs of the children. My next thought was that it would be an intergenerational Bible study. My conceived idea of a Bible study didn’t have any service aspect, but I thought that the church would have some sort of service. I have learned this semester that service is a necessary part of the church. I thought that they would delve more into the Scripture that they read. It seemed it was read, but then glanced over as the meditation was portrayed, knocking out my entire thought of it being a Bible study.

My method was to attend House Church as a visitor, only on Sunday mornings. I chose this group because of size. I have been overwhelmed with meeting so many people every time I go to a church for the past year, because my family recently moved to a new church. Then I went to college, and had to visit new churches all over again. Relationships are so important to me, but if there are too many people, then it takes a lot of the fun out of growing in relationships, because it seems like I have a shallow relationship with each person there. I was happy to hear that House Church only had forty to sixty members. When I attended, I observed and added myself to the group as I could. When I got my first ride home from church, and Cheryl Martin gave her phone number and told me to call if I needed a ride again, I felt included, because she made a point to do that. I felt like this church—or at least this family—was open and real.

The service usually started with a song and some scripture reading. They have “children’s circle”, a moment when they make part of the service relevant to the younger members of the congregation.

Following this, they have a prayer request and praise time. My favorite part is the way they let everyone be a part of that. In some ways, this is a great summary of how the entire church is run through lay leadership. It’s completely voluntary leadership, and everyone gets a chance to lead if they choose. The prayer is done through each person stating their own prayer request or praise, and then the participation of the entire church is shown in the chorus of “Oh Lord, hear our prayer (and/or) praise.” This is shown with one person leading and then the others also participating, and then it switches, as someone else has a prayer request.

There is usually more singing, and then one of the members who has prepared a meditation for that specific date (asked by the coordinator of the month, in concordance with the theme of the month). These monthly themes are planned and prepared at the member’s retreat once a year.

At the Cutting-edge retreat, at Rolling Ridge, the church members combine ideas and experiences to create the next year’s agenda of themes for each month. Each month is given a coordinator and then each one finds music leaders, someone to do the children’s circle, and leaders for other areas of the service. This retreat recruits members to lead the youth group and Sunday school, and other aspects of church. At the retreat, they reevaluate everything they are doing during the year—is it worth the energy or not? Having a monthly member’s meeting and a yearly membership renewal is a very proactive attitude toward the membership.

After the meditation, the children and Sunday school teachers leave for Sunday school hour. The adult attendees and members have a place that they can share prayer requests felt unnecessary to share with children, and also the discussion of the mediation, or something else that is planned. This is a very casual time to reflect on what was presented/said, and also for people to discuss some business of the church.

I have attended services when they were discussing the yearly budget, Israel-Palestine relations, and Bolivia during meditation. I loved how everyone was so open to what was going on, and did not have a definite leadership within the church because everyone led in the way that they could.

Through my observation, the church was well planned, and had many people working on it. Several members were involved in the process to make church happen every Sunday, and this group of member changed every month. Sunday school hour was a discussion that was a reflection period for some and a processing time for others. It was a deep, open place for people to reflect and get through what they were thinking about, regardless as to whether they were questioning something in their faith. Everything was up for interpretation.

Through my interviews, I learned about some of the detailed parts of the church, and how it was planned.  Cheryl Martin-Claussen, who has attended House church for almost twenty-seven years, started attending House Church the Christmas of 1983. She was doing voluntary service in D.C, and was visiting home for the holiday when her grandmother asked her if she had found a church yet, and she said she had--House Church--though at the time, she was just making the decision so she had something to say to her grandmother. Now, as she continues to attend House Church, her reasons for attending accompany how her faith has grown. Women in leadership are not at issue at House Church, and it is warm and welcoming to whoever attends. People are welcomed, not just to attend the services, but to ask questions about their own faith, and these are reasons that she finds house church still very relevant.

Cheryl said that there isn’t as much community outreach within the church as there used to be—people who were involved in outreach wanted a church where there was community around what they did in their daily lives. Now the energy is put into making the service happen, and having church three Sundays out of a month. I learned more about how much work goes into each service, and how it is all originally planned—through a yearly retreat that all of the members attend. As people become interested in the ideas of doing community outreach again, then there will be more activity in that area. I learned of many other things that the church has to offer and what each entails—there is a small group option that happens every other week and where the groups go deeper into what they are thinking about and working through.

I reflected on Cheryl’s interpretation of the important aspects of House Church. She said that there was a lot more silence at House Church than other churches. There are a lot of shared responsibilities that are spread out more and passed along to others as each year passes. There is a high value in children; not only through the children’s story, but also in that children can be involved in any aspect of the service.

When I interviewed Doug Hertzler, an attendee of House Church for eight years, his reason for attending House Church was because it was not defined by the style of an individual pastor. The services continue to have “surprising content,” because people thought creatively and differently. The church has no denomination, so attendees who feel uncomfortable in a service that isn’t their background don’t have to stress because they are in a very open setting.

Doug said that the most efficient way for House Church to attend to community outreach in the area is to give tithed money to organizations. Another financial focus is mission work, and the organizations that people work for within the church are financially supported. Doug cited that there had been a decrease in the size of the congregation in the past few years, but that makes it more possible for members of the church to share.

In the American culture, it has become habit for many to attend church on Sunday, to go to Bible study on Wednesday, and to live the life of an average American otherwise. Many do not take their faith seriously, leaving Jesus in their hearts, but letting their own feet do the walking. At House Church, members give effort to create a service and attend so that their faith can be shown through their lives. Their messages are reflections of what they have experienced in their lives, and each member can learn from the other. Because of House Church’s size, there is deepness and openness throughout the group. Everyone can be candidly open and share deep thoughts with one another because they know that the other can take whatever thoughts they have—whatever questions they carry in their hearts—seriously. This rarely happens in the large church setting, especially for people who are introverted or cannot speak openly in large groups. They have to wait until they go to a small group. House church can be a small group setting on Sunday morning. House church isn’t a typical American church.

Within my preconceived ideas, I mis-defined the “community” of House church. I think of community as the group of people you are surrounded by geographically, so my thoughts on the community of the house church were of the surrounding area of where the church met, and people within their own homes. As I attended, and interviewed Doug and Cheryl, I realized that House Church is community oriented—but the community is the church and it’s members. It is where the people in the church spend their time, work, and resources, and the countries that some of the members have been to. In this way, House church is based on community outreach. In cases of reaching out directly to those that are around, the church has thoughts of, but because of lay leadership, there are limitations on how much can actually be done, because so much work it put into making the tri-monthly services happen that there isn’t much motivation to continue working toward that.

Next year, this could all be completely different, because the yearly retreat could cause a large amount of reflection on this idea, putting it into the upcoming year’s list of things to be done, and then there could be a large amount of people involved in the direct geographical community, as well as involved in the church.

Being called “Community” House Church on their website, the perspective I took was one that included community outreach. I learned through the budget meeting that they financially support many different organizations in the city. There are people that have previously worked with or in different organizations that do not anymore, but are supported financially by the tithes of those in the church.

The true “community” aspect of community house church is within its members. They reach out in their daily lives and come together on Sunday mornings to pray, reflect, and lean on each other when the other isn’t strong. They come together to see if dreams are in consensus and to ask the questions they aren’t ever certain they will find the answers to. They are not just answering the questions that are asked of the monotonous American “Christian” lifestyle, but to question these answers. It is also knowing that it is okay to ask these questions, and to struggle with thoughts on faith, spirit, and truth.

Each time I have attended House Church, it has been hard to take notes. I usually take notes to stay on task, and for this reason, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. These meditations are great for me—they intrigue me and keep my attention. I think that learning about how other people have applied their Christian faith to their own lives is very motivating in my own life because I can see other people living their faith. When there were meditations on Bolivia and the Israel-Palestine conflict, I had little prior knowledge of these issues, and so I was interested to learn about them, and how they applied to people’s lives. I have an interest in doing missions, and I also enjoy hearing about other people’s experiences. People at House Church are real. They take their experiences and apply them to how God is working in their lives. I can then take what they have said and apply it to mine, and see where God is leading me.

I’m so used to hearing a sermon directly from Scripture, and making it relevant to my life, that I’m curious as to whether I could grow spiritually in House Church. The messages have been informing to me and have made me more aware of injustice in the world, but I cannot say that I have grown. Maybe it’s the type of information that shapes me rather than sits on a page of notes, to be taken in at the time, but then to be moved on from. Because I have yet to attend a small group, members meeting, or the “cutting-edge” retreat, I cannot say that I wouldn’t grow spiritually. In order to attend a correct view, I feel that I might have to observe more into the daily lives of those who attend, and how they feel their spiritual needs.

When attending House Church, all I intended to do was attend. I didn’t realize how much of an open family they were, and how much they would envelope me with their love. I didn’t expect to be invited back—many people at many different churches don’t see that when they offer a smile but not words, it’s the same as a frown. Being passive about being a friend IS ignoring and is synonymous with being an enemy, it seems. House church has a lot of openness, and assertive people who will talk, and some that will listen.

I am drawn to attend House Church. I want to be part of all the different aspects—like the small groups that are available. I would have loved to be able to attend the yearly retreat and be a part of intimately connecting with these people and our God.

What I questioned before coming to House church was the atmosphere of others. I have a hard time trying to connect with a lot of people, especially larger churches. We are all at church to develop deep relationships with our God, and with people as well, and when there are so many people, it is impossible to connect with all of them, or feel like we know them. So this church’s size was perfect for me. I know people who attend a house of worship with thousands. It’s impossible to connect with people who gather together out of tradition and habits—not 100% for the level of faith in their hearts. I wanted to attend House church to see the other side. After seeing this side of worship, I’m taking these memories with me as I look toward other options of church in my future.

The observations I had in House Church were clarified and confirmed when I did my interviews. I understood where the support came from and how people hold onto their faith through accountability and humility. In this church, the children’s circle seemed more significant than in other churches, and the you could tell that the information displayed to the children during their time was important to apply to all of the member’s lives, not just the children. They do not hesitate to include children who are able in the worship service.

While attending, I felt like there was a lot of accountability, that everyone felt comfortable, and had a great level of closeness with each other. I understood that when Cheryl mentioned that she was “unafraid to ask questions about [her] faith,” and at the retreat, when members recommitted their membership openly with each other, it helped me understand the level of realness that the church has between it’s members. This is how I feel church should be. Not an alike age group of a small group, not a large group with puddle-deep relationships, but an intergenerational setting, with different perspectives actively announcing themselves.