Intensity is Rising.

Since my last update only one week has past, but it seems like enough for a summer.

I celebrated my 19th birthday this past Sunday and Monday. Because I was calling Zach, and Hannah really wanted to see the Lost finale, we had to save part of our adventure for the next day.

But the day was full of first times--my landlord said that I could use her truck this summer (she has two cars), and so we took it to Astoria--that was ok. We got lost three times before we finally made it there. I allmost drove through a red light. But then we had to park the truck. My parallel parking is really really weak, and there were no parking spots that could fit this car. We finally found a spot, and then attempted to park for the next forty five minutes. And finally got it. And--no joke, we had a six inches to a foot between the other cars. It was insane. I don't like the idea of parallel parking. Ohio driver's tests do NOT prepare you for that. Everything would be completely different if I actually had a car, not a truck. Anyway, we finally made it to the resturaunt, and had some great food. Red Sonjas, made from Red Lentils, delicious falafel, and some stuffed zucchini (though I am incertain as to how and where the zucchini was stuffed. It was really good.)

Because Hannah was in such a hurry to get home to watch Lost, though Christa's mom taped it for her, she had her mom drive out to meet us there, and then I followed her home after she very convienently got the car out of the parking spot. We drove over to Christa's house and we made vegan cupcakes while waiting for the Lost  finale to be finished. The fanagled with candles and got 15 + 4 to equal nineteen for my birthday candles. After that, we all went home.

On Monday, Christa and I both had a morning meeting to plan and prepare for our summer program, and then along with Hannah, we went to Manhattan. We took the Metro there, and went all over the place. I couldn't even tell you all the places that we went to. We mostly went shopping. The dress I was wearing that day (which I got at Walmart last August for $3) was at one of the stores, for $8.

I bought some socks at The Sock Man, and we had Falafel for one dollar. We went to Central Park and walked through part of Hannah's school. We got coffee and went to Walgreens and Jamba Juice. We went everywhere, and must have walked for eight hours. We got home around ten, and then Hannah and I walked back to our house from Main Street.

We have been planning this summer program for kids, and it has been really intense lately--Monday's meeting we planned out so much that needed to be done, yet by today, I think we have finished most of them. This week's goal was getting flyers out to parents who might be interested and we were working with the Parent Coordinator at Public School 22 and Christa and I got to "volunteer" with the kids in the cafeteria during lunch time. I went on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, and I have had such a blst iwth those kids. There are so many kids. Most of them are Chinese, there's some kids from Haiti, Mexico, Pakistan, it's insane how many weren't born here. Most of them wonder why I'm there, and I tell them that I just want to hang out with them. It's impossible to hear them when they tell me their names in that cafeteria. I remember a couple. Some kids are really interested in me, and why I'm there, and others could care less, but certainly when I get behind the piano (in the cafeteria, no less) they run over and see who is playing. On Thursday, it seemed to be like a riot--they were all pushing to see me, and were squishing others. That was intense, and I stopped playing when that happened. Sometimes I forget I'm white, and that I look different from these kids. On the first day that I went into the cafeteria, there was a little girl who asked me if anyone in my family was famous. I told her that my younger sister was going to be an opera singer, and that I wrote music but wasn't famous, and then she said, "No, I mean in history, like from the American Revolution," which was when I told her my ancestors only came to America in the mid-1800s.

Thursday night there was a PTA sponsered concert that we handed out flyers at. Many MANY parents were interested once we mentioned the first "free" portion (we are doing a morning portion, including breakfast and lunch, that is completely free).

Today is Hannah's birthday, and after we talked about having a meeting for worship practice, it didn't actually happen, and instead, I got to go with Hannah, Christa, and Annabelle (Hannah's mom) and look for a tattoo parlor. We had empanadas--mine was made with corn flour and veggies inside, and tasted a little like Fritos on the outside.

So far, I've just experienced so much! There are so many people I've met, though a lot of them are in Kindergarten through fifth grade, and I cannot wait to meet more of them!

Prayer requests:
--I seem to be lacking energy and getting headaches halfway through the day. . and the sore throat and sinus stuff  that I had last week has been hanging around.
--Spanish again. I mostly feel like my communication is pretty weak, and I need paryer for that.
--Pray that I make sure I have balance in what I'm doing, and not overschedule.. It's something that I like to do without realizing it.

Week Update #2

This is an interesting moment to take in, as I write my update, and listen to the Muslim boys in the basement say their evening prayers. God works there too, and I pray that there is something that will let these wonderful people that God is also a gentle God, is a Father God, and sent His Son Jesus to take away sin. 

The past few days have flown by and have been full of different things that I've done so much that I feel like it's been weeks. And yet I have now been in Queens already and only a week. 

This past Saturday, I spend time working at a Food Pantry. I put carrots and potatoes in bags, and then handed then to some of the people that came to the Pantry. There were people from all sorts of ethnicities. African, Latino, Indian, Chinese, and Korean. Some were homeless, some looked like they were okay. Some looked like they needed this boost. I met several people that time. Pastor Conrad let me in, and he was very kind. There were a bunch of older ladies that were sweet, and very supportive. 

Mark took me to Main St. in Flushing, by the Queens library. There were people from StreetLife who were handing out tracts and talking to people. There was a man who was mad that they were in front of the library and called the cops, who thought that it was completely fine that they were there. Main Street looked like Beijing with all of the signs in Chinese and Korean all over the place. 

I went to the worship practice, and that was really fun, and good. I forgot how nice it was to be on a worship team, and how much I missed singing contemporary songs. It was also a pretty intense moment of worship, and I could feel God moving through all of us. 

Sunday morning arrived, and the service was longer than I'm used to. . that being said, it was still good, but I was losing my attention span towards the end, but God was still working there. 

All week I have been working at the After School Program--using my Spanish and getting better while I work with Denisa (pronounced DayNaysa) to help her comprehend English through my Spanish. It gets better everytime, but is also slightly frustrating when she misses a day. And of course, when I'm tired and can't help some of the kids. 

We have done some very intense planning for our Summer Day Camp. Christa and a very miniscule amount of my assistance made a flyer, and we have had a couple meetings about what we are going to do and have looked at our resources. It looks like we are going to have a trip to Camp Deerpark every week, and on the other days, have a free program in the morning, and a paid program in the afternoons. We are making it highly affordable and it's going to be awesome! (if of course, we get good staff and have enough energy, so pray for that!)

Yesterday when I walked over to Christa's house, I turned onto her street and walked toward a woman and a man who were discussing the large branches that were on the ground beside the car of a commuter and the woman looked at me and looked at me again and said, "You are the spitting image of my niece!" I introduced myself, and then had a bit of a conversation with her. She was very kind. Her name was also Grace, and her home was the place where people seemed to drop off animals that they didn't want... Like a cat lady... (Marie, my sister will get a kick out of this). But the sweet and awesome part is that this woman, when I told her about the program we were planning, said that she wanted some of the flyers to hand out to the working moms that she knew. So that was totally God working there. 

Today I have felt sick. My neck is sore, as is my throat and I didn't really have the energy to work with kids. We went over to PS 22 (Public School 22) and discussed and decided that Daniel, Christa, and I were going to go over to the school during lunch time and associate with the kids. Of course, I saw Ali, who is one of the boys who lives in the basement, and went and sat at his table for a little while. He's really kind, and a good kid. He introduced me to all of the people at the table, and that was fun. I could have stayed there with them for the entire time. It was SO loud in there. 

We continued to talk to Lili, the lady who was enthusiastic about us coming, and she was telling us that she was really encouraged for us to be there. And I felt like God was calling me, especially to be there, and that I could help, and I would love to do that. Though I was feeling all day, during the time I was there, there was some new found energy that God had given me. I just felt called to be there for those kids. The only thing is, the guidance--the example that they really need I can't give to them, because I'm not a man. 

They need male example, someone to be a father figure or a big brother with God in his heart leading him. And not just during lunch time--all day. And only God can bring that. Only God can bring Jesus into these schools. 

Prayer requests:

--That this cold thing will heal before my birthday, which is on Sunday.

--For my wonderful sweet neighbors. 

--For energetic AWESOME high schoolers to staff the day camp

--For the kids in the public schools of New York City, that they would have good examples.

--For energy and encouragement for the staff at the After School Program 

God is Good!

Flushed In

No pun intended with the title, but it's pretty much how I feel--to the point where, they threw me in a "flushing device", flushed it, and now I'm mixed into whatever was different from me, and we are all comfortable with each other... Sorry for the sickening analogy.
I arrived in Queens on Thursday afternoon and was literally "flushed in" to the cycle of things. The worship team, meeting people, explaining why I am vegan (a different reason every time), telling people I'm from Ohio, but different parts of Ohio, how I'm a senior by credits, but only one year out of high school...ahh my complicated life.
I feel really welcomed into the Flushing environment, connecting with two girls, Christa and Hannah right away within these first few days. I am certainly welcomed into the house that I'm staying in-- a woman named Patricia houses missionaries for free, and when contacted by someone from the church, said she would house me for no charge, and that she is going out of town for some of the summer.
I spent the first night at Christa's house, where her mother, when finding out that I was vegan, supplied me with a lifetime of peanut butter, two cartons of soy milk, and a box with cans of beans, vegetables, and half a loaf of whole wheat bread.
I went to the Discipleship meeting for the worship team on the first day I was in Flushing, and dug deep into the word with the Worship team, for two and a half hours. Then yesterday evening, I went to the Young Adult Bible Study, and delved more into the word. The interesting thing is that I haven't gotten to do my devotions. But God takes me as I am, vulnerable in these new situations, learning in intense ways, what he wants me to learn, which is really great, and important. These bibles studies are a great shaper for what this summer is going to be like--God filled, and God driven. I'm pumped.
Christa showed me around Kissena Park when I was at her house. It was raining when we woke up but by the time we stepped out the door, there was a shining sun, and it was quite warm. I cannot wait to go running there-- it's so beautiful.
At the after-school tutoring program, on the first day, it was sort of unsuccessful. Introduced as knowing some Spanish I was set to work with Denise Mandelena, fresh from El Salvador, and to teach her the alphabet. I felt really bad because I wasn't able to communicate very well with her. But then yesterday, it went really well--we were doing math, and I was much more comfortable. I made her smile a lot, and I think she is catching on quickly.
Christa and Hannah came over to my house and we watched Gigi the musical last night--it was an interesting way to spend the evening, but entertaining, no doubt.
Christa took me to the Korean food market, where I might do some of my shopping. There is supposedly a Whole Foods and a Target elsewhere, but who knows when I'm going to get a chance to go shopping there--soon I hope. I need some tofu. I'm going to get sick of PB and J really soon.
Pictures and videos to come? (when I take, upload, and edit them--I'm really busy here.)

The Pakistani woman who lives in Pat's basement brought Pat breakfast this morning, and while waiting for pat, told me I was so pretty, and made me some tea, (which I'm sure has milk in it, but I appreciate her kindness. I hope to spend more time with them in the future--we'll see.)

Prayer requests:
--That I will work on my Spanish.
--For the family of Pakistani Muslims in the basement
--That I will let Christ reverberate from my soul.

What Does it all mean?

I decided that I wanted to do Social Work.
Now I'm itching to run away from making and sticking with that decision.
Agony.
This past weekend I played a song during the church service. Many people commented on the passion that drove the song.
The passion that drives my music.
That passion drives my life.
Sometimes the music is why I want to be.
Yet there is always the issue of the job being social enough.
I am extroverted; a talker. Playing the piano makes you face the instrument you play and you can't look at people that you are playing for.
For me, keyboards aren't the same. I want them to be, and sometimes they are great, but I don't get inspired as much from a keyboard.
But music brings so much out of me.
Every time I go to a concert of someone else, I want to do the same thing. I want to be on that stage and bare my soul to the crowd.
When I went back to Streetsboro, I told the band director that I was going to New YOrk for the summer, and she said, "Oh, as a free lance musician?"
As I told her that it was for a mission, her words still struck me.
And I still wonder if I'm on the right path.
Why can't I just decide that I'm going to do music, that I'm going to record instead of going to school or something. Maybe it would be worth it.
Again, it's the social aspect--Promising people I'm coming back to EMU--promising I'm rooming with Crystal.
But my mind is everywhere, and I've been all over the place when I'm going everywhere. I cannot decide.
Ahhh. I wish I wasn't a disappoint me to some--that they didn't miss me when I wasn't there, and that I could see them more often.
Am I just meant to be a Nomad, wandering, playing, being passionate, being more passionate, doing what I'm passionate about?
Lord Jesus, Here I am. Send me where I am to go!

Training at HDC

I was nervous beyond all reason when I left for Harrisburg directly after the Sunday service. I drove through Ohio and Pennsylvania, searching for Christian radio stations, and trying to avoid thinking about the feelings of uncertainty that were dancing through my head. I felt insecure about driving by myself, and was worrying about the money I was spending on gas, and that I would mess up the directions. I couldn't figure out how to turn off the heat either, so I was rather warm.
But at some point on the four hour blur of the PA turnpike, I saw God in the sky. There was a cloud in the shape of an eye, and as the radio station I had currently found played a song of encouragement, I knew that God was with me, that what I was doing was good, and that I needed to stop worrying. I almost cried as I let God fill me up and encourage me. I stared into the eye until I had to focus on the road, but I had a peace about me. God was with me, I was going where he wanted me to go, and that's all I knew.
The egging worry that had been taking a toll on my head and my guts left when I turned into the HDC parking lot, one hour early, and was met by familiar faces. Margaret, Melanie, Jess, Rachel, and Dorrin.
There were two people in GO! training with me--Scott, and Elisa. Elisa I knew from EMU--she was one of  the juniors in the Pre-med program that were a part of the Organic Chemistry class that I was photographing for work study. Scott, who I met for the first time, was only introduced to me once, and I forgot that his name was Scott, and called him Eric in my head.
We played Scattergories, and that was a great way to get to know everyone (that played). I t was really chill, even though when the buzzer "clicked" stop, it was quite obnoxious, and a jumping experience for me more than one time. I won.. because I'm bizarre.
I had decided to just be vegetarian while I was there. It's too hard to educate people on Veganism 101, and then the discussions that ensued for the rest of the training were enough.
Monday morning training was good. It was quite an intense start, but it was still good. We did some prayer for each other--each of us prayed for the person to our left, and I prayed for Jess. We were supposed to ask God what he wanted us to pray for that person about. I had some words, but I had a melody stuck in my head for the part of the time that I was praying for her.
Elisa was going to Peru, and Scott, to Central Asia.
We were told to go on a prayer walk throughout the city, and I decided that I didn't want to walk around without a bag to pick up trash, so I brought a trash bag and picked up trash while I was walking. Twise people asked me if I was doing Community Service, one man asked me what "staff" I was with Convention, and one guy, all these people were sitting on their porches, said, "God loves you and I do too!"
The irony of it all is that later in the day, we went for community outreach, and we picked up trash, which was a group activity. It was more solemn as a group.
We had some reading assignments--and I walked up to the prayer room to do mine later in the evening, and Scott was already there, but the shade was open so I joined him. In an English accent, I told him I had a timepiece. (also known as my cell phone), so we went down stairs for supper at the right time.
Jamila, Taylor, and Tyler were all at HDC on Monday and part of Tuesday. They were working on some social outreach things, and so it was really cool for them to be there. I hadn't seen them all semester. Jamila braided my hair, and we got to hang out with them.
I was thoroughly enjoying helping wash dishes, and was helping put some away after dinner, when Dorrin thought that it would be a good idea to leave the silverware container out to put the dried silverware in, but he couldn't remember my name so he said, "Female!" and then apologized profusely...
Tuesday began with some great sessions. Chris led the session on Humility and it was a really great, rather informing session. Later, Ryan Showalter showed up and did another session on Why Missions. And informed me on some stuff about Queens, which was great--more information. Then we had a session with Clair Good about Contextualized something or other. He knew more about me and my parents and sisters than I knew about him.. It's always interesting when those things happen. He talked about how it's important to look for Christ in every situation, and when we witness to people, it shouldn't be to witness for God, it's God witnessing through us.
But that was a great session.
And then they sent us out on an "Evangelism Plunge", which was to go out and meet a person and have a meaningful conversation with them. We went as a group, and walked down Derry Street, and turned onto 17th street, and walked past this man, who Scott asked where the pharmacy was, and then we struck up conversation with him. We talked about where he'd been and where we'd bene and what his family was like and what he was doing now, and he brought us over to the pizza place where he worked and gave us pizza, which was sooo good and we continued to talk. It was great, and he was really nice.
We walked back to the house, and Elisa and I decided to go play soccer outside, and some boys from the neighborhood came soon after we started our volleyball and soccer playing. I taught them, and Elisa a little bit about soccer, and then played with them a little while. It was a lot of fun. Their names were Jay, Malachi, Will, and Shawn. Nice boys.
We had supper, and then commissioning prayer, which was great, and then we played Dutch Blitz while waiting for Elisa and Jess to get back (they had to drive Elisa's car to Salunga). I was playing against quite the pros, and I haven't had a lot of time to organize my strategy... Dorrin was rooting for everyone except Margaret, because she had some completely pulverized him in the past. I started getting better in the second game.
We went out for a low-cost treat--to ice cream, and their kid sized scoop was larger than any scoop that I would eat EVER in a normal sized portion... and I hadn't had ice cream since before Lent, so it was really sweet and rich... not to mention, I had the Chocolate Cupcake flavor. I forced my ice cream upon some... who forced it upon others... it really was the communal ice cream, because Marge, Elisa, and Scott all had some.
I had had a cup of coffee during the game of Dutch Blitz, and it made me really awake at eleven when i was going to bed, and I didn't sleep well. I was so awake that I thought about leaving then to drive home, but I didn't.
When I woke up in the morning--at five thirty to the alarm clock bird, I tried to fall back asleep, and stayed in bed until 6:15, and then I decided to pack and leave, because I was up and there wasn't any point.
I took two apples, (not realizing that I already had one in the car that I hadn't eaten), some apple chips.. got sick of apples. . .  and some mixed nuts, and figured that would tide me over.
Then I drove home, deciding halfway there that I was going to stop in Streetsboro and surprise and see people.
I did. It was great. But it's an entire other blog.

Famous

I was shopping at the grocery store today with my dad, without make-up on, and I was suddenly thankful not to be famous. We were in the checkout line, and I saw the tabloids proclaiming the weight gain of some stars, and it stirred in me I don't think I would like to be in the main spotlight--ever. I'm not the type that needs the attention that they give stars. I'm an extravert, and a person with much joy in getting attention from other people, but I know that I like to have a level of trust with the people that I work with, and talk to. I know that I'm not well known enough to have to worry about a trusted friend telling a paparazzi about my private life for money. And I'm thankful for that. We watched NCIS yesterday, and it was dealing with a stalker for someone who was in a television show, and talking about the paparazzi issue. And I am so thankful that I'm an unknown musician. I enjoy praise from those that I know, and those that I have relationships with. I enjoy playing for me, and for people who need to hear the message of the song, not the  upbeat tempo or my "amazing range". I don't need to sing for others to listen. I write about what I'm processing. And that's fine for me. So if I am never famous in life, I will be satisfied. And if I never get to hear from a famous record company that I have what it takes, I'm okay with that. For me, in this life, to do what I want to do, I need to not be someone who is known, because the influence of fame isn't something that would help me accomplish my goals.

I cannot write a title without going into a new thought.

Of course, the past few blogs have been some serious writing. It's been more and more of that lately. I'm just a processing machine, and I guess my fingers know it and just write and write and write. 

Transitions. Moving back into the house for the third time. All my freaking stuff. I guess I'm going to takea lot less to NYC so this isn't such an issue when I have to ride the Greyhound bus. Three months--I can live out of a duffel bag, right? Right.


My sister, mom, fifth cousin, and I left the District after some serious packing the night and morning before. Emily checked my out of my room, after removing some very vital things out of my drawers that I almost left behind (random earplug? check. fingernail? check. Trash of many sorts? check.)


We were off--to Dulles, and brought Katie to her "home" and then headed on our way. Mom drove for the first half, and I was doing some serious crocheting on my "body bag" as Mom now calls it. We drove until lunch time. Then we stopped for gas, and I drove, mom feeding me my lunch from the passender seat--and it was hummus and veggies. So that was interesting while driving. I stopped driving around 3:30--we stopped at a travel plaza and Anna and I got Starbucks--and they had the Vegan Frappiccinos--I was so pumped. And it doesn't cost different so that is a huge benefit for me.  

I drove part of the way and drove really well--didn't go more than five over the speed limit--I do believe I've turned a new leaf... at least for the next three years. 


I got to talk to Zach on the phone on the way home. It was a great conversation. It was clarifying and saddening because we both feel sort of constricted on the construction of our relationship because his team has really strict rules for him about keeping in contact with me. But God is keeping both of us strong. 
And during the rest of the conversation, he made me laugh like crazy. I miss him so. I cannot wait to see him. I'm going to meet him at the airport when he comes home because I found out I could, I just don't know what day it is...I have three more conversations (we are allowed to talk once a month) to figure out when it is. 


Getting home was great. I'm on the floor now, and Anna is sleeping on the bed, but that's ok she's here longer than I am, and I'm comfortable with that. 


Just like Mom and Dad are embracing that I just want to eat plant products, they are embracing Anna's central america influence, but with a grain of salt. We went to Cheif, the Giant of Western Ohio, and found Pig's feet. 
I took one look at them, and said, "There is no way that we are getting those! Marie wouldn't eat that!" There were six frozen-limp legs, in a styrofoam package next to the loins and the chops--both of which have enough separation to them that people don't think that there is going to be much of an issue with eating them. It's in a convenient shape for cooking and eating, but you remove separation when you see the pigs feet. I see the not-grown up sized piggies, not being treated right in the PETA videos. . . and then I reacted... 

I'm looking at the [Wo]man in the mirror!

Okay, so it's reflection time. Partially because I have to write a reflection journal (yep one more journal) for my seminar class, and partially because it's good and healthy to reflect on different parts of one's life. I do it regularly, as you have read, I'm sure. 
Reflections
On Washington D.C
So from my experience in D.C., most were positive. I loved being where everyone was, seeing all the dreadlocks, meeting two or three new people everyday, and learning about different perspectives. I was challenged and blessed with so many people in D.C. Some of these people were in my house, some were those that I worked with--but everyone was wonderful to spend time with and grow from. I have found a place for myself in the city. I can understand different things, I'm less likely to stereotype, and I'm less likely to worry. I think that after being in Brookland, and walking home from the Metro whether in the dark or in the day, being in and out of two high schools with very different perspectives almost everyday, and spending time with the youth of the city at Garrison Elementary school, I can be prepared for anything--less a language barrier, which I'm certain to be approaching in my time in NYC this summer. I'm looking forward to that. D.C. has made me realize issues that matter to me, and what justice I want to work for in my life--and be proactive about.
On working with Colman McCarthy
It's not like I went to bed early every night because I was looking forward to spending time with Colman, but I was looking forward to some aspect of my internship, because I went to it and learned something. The first thing I learned is that fame is relative. Not that Colman is famous, but there are many people who put those who are well known on pedestal and make them seem bigger than they really are. And Colman, well, he's just the feisty grandpa type, with some exceptions. It's not very often you find a grandpa that eats a vegan diet--most are known for coming to grandma's house for the good stuff. Colman also bikes just about everywhere. If I had to categorize him,  he'd be a hippie that never quit 'hipping' with out the artificial stimulants that most hippies participated in. The truth is, hippies where almost after his time, and are definitely in the past now.. So I think he's just Colman McCarthy. I don't think there is another seventy-one year old like him.
Being in a consistent environment where I was always hearing ideas being argued and discussed with different sides at all times, and hearing about new issues every time I was located at my internship was really quite a burden at some points. There were days when I'd come home from work and be pissed off at the world, the American government, corporations, etc. But there were good solid people who reminded me that all governments have issues, as we are people, and that we can make a difference in our own government--we are lucky. Many other people all around the world have no say in what their government does. I was affected by the issues that were discussed--just hearing the beneficiaries and the people who were screwed over by many issues--with animal rights--the slaughterhouse workers, with the war--veterans with PTSD, with competition for jobs--people getting laid off.
Physically, I decided to go vegan--I was feeling the pull of guilt of eating dairy products because drinking milk promotes veal production, and I do not approve of that. I know that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a prison where I couldn't turn around, and living in my own poop, so why should I use products that advocate for that? I also watched Sweeney Todd with a good friend of mine, and was completely disgusted with the death in the movie, and though it was Hollywood, I couldn't get the gross pictures out of my head. I would rather not think about death that way, and seeing a hamburger or a chickent breast made me recognize that these were once living, breathing things. So I decided to not eat that anymore.
Morally, I was affected by the continual idea that there is a lot of injustice in the wars around the world, past and present, and it made me angry--about many things. Why wasn't I educated on the School of Americas in high school? Why doesn't the fact that America is allies with many dictatorships get talked about more often? Why haven't the land mines all over the world be taken care of already? How come I never knew that Bin Laden was Saudia Arabian, was an ally of the U.S, and warned the U.S that they would attack us if we didn't remove our military base from their country? Why doesn't the United States just change it's foreign policy and have the army do humanitarian things like the army in New Zealand?
It never ceases to amaze me how easy these things would be.
On living in the WCSC house
Ahh, where do I begin? So many good things happened! I got to know everyone in the house at different times! There were just enough people to spend a little time with everyone. Christa and I would go to CVS and to YES and buy food and things for the house, think about playing soccer and just talk about life! She also lent me her H crochet hook, and I've never been the same since! Once I figured out most of everyone's personalities, I could joke with them, and hope that they wouldn't think I was being serious. Jasmine and I had some great conversation--between talking frankly about feeling depressed, and her telling me to go to bed on time, we had some bonding time when we were sun bathing (although I never actually looked like I got any serious sun). Corrie and I had some good cookings days--we made ravioli and spontaneous lack of recipe meals that were still awesome. We went on car rides to the store and sang loudly in the car. She came with me to get my nose pierced. We had some good talking time between that one random trip to Harrisonburg and some other times that we were just driving all over D.C... Jessica and I beasted out some pretty fantastical music. Though it became less and less as the semester went on, we both had a good comradeship and we were quite hilarious together. Bry and I had some sets of jokes, Sanj and I would bake together and make crack coffee, Andrew and I had some good times walking to the metro those last few weeks. Fets and I--we were close--I nodded to him as he passed my room to go to his, and he'd nod back.. no really we were bffs. Lindsay and I went to volleyball together. We saw movies together. We went tangoing together. And all the walking and talking in between. As a house, we weren't completely dysfunctional. Everyone had different personalities and we got used to those. Even though in the end some of the grocery money was spent on honey buns, I still loved those guys. They did a great job. Though there were some interesting issues, like alcohol, and a little bit of senior apathy, I still felt like it was a good semester, and I grew in myself and in my friendships with others. I also got to know Emily, one of the directors. She and I went contradancing together, dumpster diving, I went to help serve food at the homeless outreach she worked for, we talked about out lives, we comtemplated going running, we gardened and moved compost and poop and made a flowerbed, I helped make salad and curried veggies at her dinner party, we played songs that we each had written --it was a blast and I had so much fun. This semester I knitted two blankets and started on a bag.
On deciding what I want to major in at EMU
I finally decided what I wanted to do with my college career. For so long, I thought that I was just going to get my liberal arts degree and graduate next year. But as I kept thinking about it--it felt insufficient for what I wanted to do for the world and just graduating to get the degree seemed silly and not right. So Social Work, something I had contemplated since I had been in the house with two Social Work seniors doing their practicums, became a thought once more. I discussed it with some wise souls that i lived with and they helped me see what it was that I really wanted to do. There was also a moment over spring break when I was at the Epp's house when I saw what could be done to help kids who are parents be good parents so that their kids, when they are old enough, make good decisions, and at least, if they do have kids, can be good parents as well. And I was driven by that. I want to give back. I have been so blessed by growing up in a good home and with parents who love me and care for me all the time. And it works with people, and it works with kids too!
On being hit on one million times
I learned that wearing my hair down has an effect on the male population. I learned how to weasel my way out of those conversations, to freak the creepers out ("what? You're only nineteen?!") how to strike back ("hey sweetheart, do you have a pen" "My name is Grace, and no I don't have a pen."). I know that walking with a guy can protect me from that most of the time, but there will be times when it won't ("She's got a butt"). I learned that there are guys out there who will find me attractive when I'm wearing no makeup, my glasses, my hair up, in sweatpants, a big T-shirt and a sports bra, and there is nothing I can do about it. So in conclusion, there is nothing I can do to make them stop. But I can be an intelligent woman in response, quick with my words, and not let them get to me. I will respond.

Overall, I love being in an urban setting. There's a lot that i like. And when I can take my retreats back to Wauseon or to Amishland Ohio, I am content with the silence as well. I guess there will be a time when I might have both in my life.