Week Update.

I'm in Harrisburg right now. I'm spending time with the Epps for part of my spring break. It's pretty chaotic right now because there are two 3 year olds, two four year olds, one five and a half year old and a Lydia in the Littles group besides Chris and Katie. They have JaySean, Quinten, and Dakota, three brothers of mass insanity, especially mixed with Abby and Gabe. I've been here since Friday evening, when I rode the Greyhound bus from DC (after waiting in the line to get my Will Call ticket (it's supposed to be easy, fast, and quick, but that's what happens when you only have one person at the desk at three o clock in the afternoon....)) to Harrisburg. I got there around six thirty (there was traffic) and then Chris and Abby came to pick me up. I can see how riding with someone who you know could make it a lot better of a trip. Riding the Greyhound made me think of the trip to Florida that the Marching Band did my junior year, and how long that was, and several other things... I don't remember telling you about that. Ask me about it later.

So my break has been interesting so far. The lady who sat next to me on the second half of the bus ride to Harrisburg 's perfume wasn't that bad, although it was really strong. Friday night was pretty relaxing after all of the children were in bed. I got a chance to knit and watch TV, not my normal past time. I had to throw Katie through a loop when I told her that I had gone vegetarian (I decided not to bring down the house and say vegan because she wouldn't know what to do with that) and she told me that all of their leftovers had meat in them, so I had beans, tortillas and lots of veggies (for lunch and supper at various points) and some yummy oatmeal (for breakfast). There were a couple times that I couldn't escape the dairy products. . . Those pesky Cows get into everything... Whenever I visit the Epps I always drink coffee and pop 100% more than I do when I'm in DC. I've been caffeinated the past few days, which has put a boost to the amount of energy and water that I have, and also the mood that I'm in.. On Saturday there was am Easter Party at the preschool that all the Epplings go to, got to help with the kids and have a good time. They served us lunch, and there was some fresh fruit that I tore into. :) 

I "gave up" sweets for Lent, which didn't actually quit absolutely, but I made a dent in the amount of it that I ate--a lot less of everything. No ice cream. I was thinking of that because I tend to accept chocolate when it is offered to me.

We brought the boys to their mom's house--they were having a three hour visitation with her. It was during naptime, but they didn't take naps so they were in horrible moods for the rest of the day. At this point, the boys are going to be going home or to a new foster home in a month and a half--these kids have added a lot of stress to the house. We went to Lowe's and Target and it was a rough evening because Chris was leading a young adult retreat and so there was a lot of chaos.

Sunday was better, but we were all really tired. Church was really good--the service was about the resurrection. I've been reading some delicious scripture lately. I love love love the Gospel of John :) He was such a great writer.

I've been knitting like crazy still.

Last week, before Spring break started, I worked. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, I went to Bethesda and Wilson High school. 

We've been talking about catcalling and watched this documentary called "War Zone" which this woman made about men harassing women. I would definitely say that there were several things that weren't necessary, but there were definitely things that were. There were several situations that were disturbing and slightly inappropriate for the audience, in my opinion, and something that people did not want to see that early in the morning. But there was also the audio of a woman who called the police in her home because a man was trying to get in to rape her, and I think that made everything in the video more relevant. The basic plot of the documentary was of a woman walking around the streets of NYC in the summer and interviewing any man that hit on her or said something to her, or even those who didn't do anything. And then she also had other women walk around on the streets to see if they would be hit on and what their reactions were.

They were also talking about the School of Americas--Colman showed a similar video to the one that we watched for class. It just reiterated that a lot of people aren't aware of these things, as there were many students that didn't know what SOA stood for. At Wilson high school, there was a transition to talking about peace and war issues. There is this graduate student that is getting his masters in Conflict Resolution and was in the Marines and talked about his time in the army. It was hard to listen to because he was pro-army, and I am not. And I hate it when Colman asks questions like "Do you think the rabbi Jesus would join the army?" and this guy made this answer that Jesus' disciples were Zealots--rebels of the age. What he didn't say (that I freaking wish he did, and wish he wasn't so pro war because there's good in knocking down people's doors and shooting guns at the bad guys, and killing people) was that when Jesus was getting arrested, and one of the disciples, in his freaked-out state, cut off the ear of a servant there, and then Jesus said that they weren't there to rebel or fight back or something, and put the man's ear back on. That's what frustrated me. that we, in little conversations like that, can give skewed perspective of Christ in class. AHHHHH. 

Tuesday was a great tiring day. I helped kids with work, but it was more keeping them on task that was the problem, as it always is--and this was mostly a problem because Mr. Abdullah was doing some testing on individuals in another classroom so there wasn't the authority in the room. There was a little chaos--some of the girls were making "good lists' and "bad lists" and then a boy went in the girls bathroom, and THEN there was poop on the floor in the bathroom and one of the girls stepped in it! not my favorite thing to deal with. That, and trying to explain fractions to a second grader who was NOT focused on that at all. She actually wanted to go to the bathroom, or to the office to call her mom, or get some ice for her chipped tooth, or to change her shoes (ironically, she was the one who stepped in the poop). 

On Wednesday in class, we didn't go anywhere, which was a nice change, and we talked about race. Which was nice to do, and I feel like the readings we did for class were really helpful for me, but the discussion we had for our class were lacking. Sadly. And so I spend the last hour of class sitting on the floor because it was more comfortable than the chair that I was sitting on.. 

Thursday was a great transition day for me. Mr. Abdullah told me not to come to class because he wasn't going to be in class. 

So instead, I told Kim that I was going to do some yardwork for her (she offered it for me earlier in the week and I took up the offer because I wanted to make a little moola.) Anyway, I raked leaves out of flower beds, removed dead branches, and clipped some pesky ivy. For six hours. It was a great tiring day, and my body was definitely was sore the next day. But I got paid, and I enjoyed it. My arms got a little scratched up from all the branches I was rubbing against, but I sustained no injuries.

Friday was an interesting day at Bethesda because we went outside and held up "Honk for Peace" signs on the East-West Highway. That was fun, except it rained second period and the signs tore. But we got a lot of honks, and had a great time evne though it was cold and wet. 

House life has been really good. I've been enjoying the meals that people have been making and we have been able to watch movies together as a house and that has been a lot of fun.

More and more preteens think I should make an album. --Random fact.

Yesterday I swallowed one of the balls on my tongue stud, and had to attempt to keep the bar through my tongue for four hours, and when we went to my gym with the crazy children, Lydia and I went to Walmart and I bought more barbells, because I didn't bring any extra with me. I have spent so much money on those I should get my tongue pierced a second time. just kidding. I wonder if you can do that, though. 

Today I went to McDonald's with Lydia and Katie, because that's where they do their school when Gabe and Abby have preschool. They always come, and today when they came through the doors, one of the cashiers recognized them and already had their order memorized, and only added a soft drink for me. 

I did my devotions (again, the Gospel of John has been AMAZING!!) and then did some knitting again. It was great. We went to pick up Gabe and Abby from preschool and went home, and had lunch. Tonight I'm riding the Greyhound all night to Toledo and then Mom is going to pick me up at the Greyhound in Toledo. And I'm going to be home. :)

Patience and Never having enough time

So I'm off to Harrisburg via Greyhound bus in about thirty minutes. Meaning: I'm getting on the H8 to the Metro to New York Avenue to walk to the Greyhound station to wait an hour because they ask you to be there an hour beforehand to leave at three o'clock.
I'm excited, slightly tired, and ready to be somewhere besides Washington D.C. I got a chance to do that yesterday when I worked in Kim's yard for six hours, cleaning up leaves and chopping out ivy in her flowerbeds. I worked in silence most of the time. Taking breaks to pee, eat lunch, and drink water.
It was a quiet neighborhood while I was there. I only heard a siren once and enjoyed the grass of her yard the entire time I was there.
This week was trying for me because I was completely ready for Spring break. I realized the week everyone had theirs that I wanted to as well, and actually really could have used it, but I didn't get the option to because I was working. Now, two weeks later, I'm going to have mine, and it seems slightly out of place, because I have attachments to those that are here, and people in virginia, but now I'm attending to some of my other friends, but not even close to all of them.
I realize that this summer I'm going to have a lot of people who are going to miss me. I still haven't gotten to go back to Streetsboro, and since I'm not going to be working at camp this year, there are a lot of people that I'm not going to see. Even those I get to see I'm not going to be able to see them long enough. It's never long enough, when it comes down to it. Everything in life leaves you hanging to some point.
I'm always going to be missing someone, whether it's Zach or Bird from the Boro, or Marita and Emily from Camp, or Bekah and Janelle from EMU, or Anna, Marie and my parents, or my cousins all over this world. It's not just a factor that we never have enough money to get what we want, or things that we want to have or places we want to go or people we want to meet, it's also that we never have enough time. This is so frustrating for me at times because I want to see everyone and spend time with everyone but times will never be like they were before I graduated high school and had time coming out of my ears around the house with Marie and could sneak away for a weekend in Mid-Ohio. There might be a time when I'm a mom and I plan vacations to places to visit family and friends, but we aren't always going to be able to see eachother. If I could build a town with all the people I want to have close to me around me, and they could do that as well, there wouldn't be individual towns--they would all be connected and my town would expand, as it always is--more and more and more.
There will always be people who are more important to me than the money I make and the things that I have.
The point is, though, that we will never feel satisfied about this. Only God can satisfy our yearning for more, and only He can make the echo in the room die. So we don't feel alone.

"Retreat! (reflection time) Retreat!"

I took another sick day on Friday, just because I was still feeling exhausted and challenged by what my body was feeling. I was definitely frustrated with my meds, but I also thought that I had something more long term, over a long period of time that has been affecting my energy levels for months now, it seems. Many people would agree with me that we think I have/had mono, and that would explain the exhaustion.


We packed and left for Rolling Ridge around 7:30-8:00pm, in the car. Doug brought a van with most of the people in the house that left at 7:00 on the dot, and Emily wasn't in a hurry, so we left later. Jess got back at 7:30 even, and then we played around on the piano, working on my new song, and then we got in the car. Then Emily needed some bedding, and Jess needed her guitar. THEN we were on the road.


The ride there was interesting. We had some interesting discussion going on, and it go especially interesting when Doug called Emily and asked her to pick up some water. This was interesting because although they have drinking water at the retreat house, it was well water, and Doug was worried that some people wouldn't drink it because it was hard tasting (when I got there and tried it, it was nothing like water at Camp Luz, and tasted delicious in comparison to the artesian well.). It was also interesting because the whole retreat was supposed to be about water, and how we were conserving it and using less (for example, I didn't take a shower while we were there, and used less water than usual to wash my oatmeal bowl.)
So I thought it was completely silly that we were stopping for water of all things, but Emily also bought some snacks for the riders--some Garden Salsa Sunchips, and some Fruit and Nut trail mix. We chose, but we were probably the most interesting customers in the gas station. We bought everything, and then we got back in the car after an interesting round of bathroom breaks (I was going to race Jess to the bathroom, but Emily inhibited me for some reason or another. And then I was going to go after her, but then Jasmine held me back... ahhh..)

Then the sunchips bag became very interesting--it was extra crinkly because it's made of corn--it's one of those new 100% decomposable bags. It made us really giggly as we continued on our journey, and Emily warned us, as we arrived at the retreat house, that Doug would probably try to scare us. So I was prepared. But then he only scared Emily. We brought our stuff inside, and Jess and I shared a room, and then we joined the group, who were just lounging, drinking tea and eating popcorn.
We played Spoons, deciding to spell "Doug" instead of Spoons because it was shorter. I warned everyone ahead of time that I was really competitive and irrational because I was sick. During this game, I stole a spoon from Sanj--prying it out of his fingers. When Doug joined the game, though disgruntled that we were using his name as the means to being out, played rather ruthlessly. He sat right across from me, and being left handed, went for the same spoon as me. This went interestingly one of these times--we grabbed it at the same time and he somehow pulled me via spoon across the table. And I knocked my chair over in the process. And then we all died of laughter. After Doug joined the game, it wasn't so fun anymore because I wasn't able to win.
Jess wanted me to braid her hair, so I did the first half that night. We went to bed late. But not before Emily fell asleep on the floor in the living room, and we put her blanket on her.
Saturday morning I woke up at 7:30--oh the joy of sleeping in... NOT. I was up about the same time as Doug. I ate my vegan oatmeal that I brought along because I knew what types of foods that they bought for the trip, and I drank some coffee for the first time in a couple weeks, maybe a month. I was talking to him about something. I always talk about something. I'm not a big fan of silence, because to me, it begs to be filled. And I'm a pleaser, so I fill the silence.
Soon Emily and Jess were up and about. I finished braiding Jess' hair and also did the top half of Emily's hair. That was a lot of fun for me, and I really want to braid more people's hair in the house, but not a lot of people are interested in that. Maybe I'll convince Corrie one of these days...
Once Kim arrived, we were forced to jump, sort of without consent into working on the masks. I was the last one there because I wasn't ready to go--I had to put my contacts in and change, and then I ran down to the Art Cottage (which was the first surprising action of energy. Although I'm not certain it was connected to the single cup of coffee I consumed that morning). Once there, I heard the end of Kim's monologue on the mask making and how strong some cultures take masks. Then she asked for the first people to volunteer, and up my hand went. I'm all about new experiences.

So I slathered petroleum jelly all over my face and put on a hair net to cover my braids, and then sat in the chair while Corrie and Kim laid dampened pieces of Plaster cloth onto my face, smoothing and layering, leaving holes for my nose, and nothing else. That was when my vow of silence began. You can't talk. You can grunt, but cannot move your mouth in anyway because it would contort the plaster. It was rather hard for me, but it made me reflect on all the comments I would have made while listening to what was going on around me. I made a mental comparison to being in the womb. Because once the mask dries in certain places, you can move a little bit--once it dried near my eyes, I could blink and see the white of the plaster, but nothing else, but I couldn't talk--or speak legibly until the mask was completely off. I had to move the muscles of my face to loosen it from my skin and then off it came, leaving flakes of plaster at the ducts of my eyes and on the edge of my hair lines. Then looking at the mask was so alien to me. I didn't think my face looked like that. I thought it looked more like some of the other girls' than my own face. Later, when we went back to decorate the masks, I picked up the wrong one the first time, and quickly discovered the discrepancy to my face when laid on it. I was processing what it means--how I define others' faces, and I realized that when I look at people, I notice their eyes, and their eyebrows. I also notice noses, but I notice the things of color on the face--that distinguish from the rest of the skin on their bodies, so looking at these masks when they were on someone's face or after they were peeled off, was like they weren't a real person--that they were a body but not a person, soul, spirit. I laid Emily's mask for her, and she decided to smile for her entire mask making so that it would hold a smile eternally. While I was putting the strips of plaster on her face, I decided to play twenty questions with her, knowing that she couldn't speak, but only "uhhum" and "uhuh", and try to figure out what she was thinking. It was so interesting, because I had to go from "person, place, thing, action" to several questions later "is it part of a day?" and somehow we got to "is it part of a different country's culture?" and I had to go through all these different cultures to Asia, and the final thing was "smiling meditation". But it was an interesting process to get to. And then when I was finished, I took Emily outside, and sat her down. Jess was taking pictures of Jasmine, and Bryan, and so we included Emily in that, getting her to pose in Kim's car and with Toby.
After the masks, we all went back to the house and had lunch. I had a PB and J, and also a tomato sandwich. Fetsum discovered the most potent Dijon mustard, and I, wanting to clear out my sinuses, had some. It was like wasabi, but I was prepared, and enjoyed the burn and the clear passageways. I really wanted to take that mustard home with us, but the guys put it back I think.

Later in the day, we left for the hike. Bryan, Andrew, Christa, Lindsay, Jess, Jasmine, and I, along with Kim and Doug went on this hike. It was a lot of fun, and I enjoyed getting out of the house and was extremely thankful for the break from the city air and climbing hills and getting to use my body. We hiked until we reached this waterfall, where ice cold water cascaded from the rocks down all the way to the Shenandoah at the end. Most of the group went on one side to get in the water, I climbed up the other side. It felt great to climb the rocks and go higher and higher. I would have kept going, except I didn't really know where I was headed, so I climbed back down, and decided to go wading. I got back down to the bottom and took my camera out of my pocket to take a picture and it was then I realized that I must have banged it against a rock back at the top and broke the LCD screen. But it could still take pictures, so I did. Then I went wading, and got a bit more wet than I planned to--I was climbing down a waterfall and got the front of my pants completely soaked--I was standing too close. Andrew got hit in the back by a golf ball, something that's probably less probable than being struck by lightning at this point. There is a golf course next door, but it's a course, not a driving range. Then we walked over to the Shenandoah and looked at it for a little while. I decided to see how long I could walk bare foot back on the trail. I kept up pretty well--until we got to the main gravel part that is, and then I slowed down a lot, but still kept on until I realized it was going to be rocks the rest of the way, then I put my shoes on and ran to catch up with the pack. 

When we got back to the house, I was completely exhausted, but I didn't want to just go take a nap, so I went back to my room and changed my pants, and was looking out the window as I hung my pants on the curtain rod to see that the roof was right there. And I took out the screen and climbed out onto the roof and read my book there for awhile, but the sun wasn't shining there, so after I finished my chapter, I went back in and took a nap. 

I painted my mask. I wasn't sure what colors to do, but all I knew was that for me because I define people by the surprising colors on their faces, that my mask had to have riveting color as well.
We had hobo dinners for supper. There was tofu that was immensely enjoyed in my own dinner, and we had banana boats, and a sadly attempted marshmallow, strawberry, and crush graham cracker mixture that burned in the fire. The wooden plank that was beneath Jess, Andrew and I's butts broke under Andrew because it was rotting at a knot.
We went back in the house and I read my book for awhile, and then I went to bed, but because I only knew where one of my earplugs were, I didn't fall asleep right away, and then when I finally did, I woke up really hot once, then opened the window and woke up cold. Then I closed the window and fell back asleep on the bottom bunk, because Jess had left that night to go back for her rally, and then I dreamt. Good dreams. Interesting dreams. Like there was a hag that stole my credit card and driver's license and then stole my identity. Then something with Dad being with me and my smart card and things were going on. Then all of a sudden there was a crazy man (depicted by Hugh Laurie) holding the head of a child. and that's when I woke up with fear. Fear like no other. Fear that holds you and chokes you and makes you unable to go back to sleep, not for the dreams but for the reality thoughts that fill your mind. That you know if you hear screaming that you know how to get out. That someone wants nothing more than to torture you and make you suffer the most pain possible. This is when I start praying. For God to bring me peace, for Zach, for Sarah, for Bekah, but thinking of anything but the fears that grasp and hold me in this suffocating grip. When I went out of my room, I was happy to see that the lamps were still lit downstairs and I went to get some water, and I decided to do my devotions that I would be doing in the morning then, because I knew I needed to calm down. Then I prayed more.
"O God I have so much fear--fear of improbable things, of scary deaths, of evil and insanity--God, take them away. You are with me. You keep me safe from harm. This rest is much needed. Fill me with peace and knowledge that your justice flows like the ocean's tide--it comes, it goes back, but then it comes back again--and again. Jesus I am so tired. Give me peace and security that all is well. It's good. I trust you. I trust that your will is being done. You take me and you take my fear. Separate it. I don't want it! It scared me out of my mind and fills me with insecurity. Jesus keep me safe. Death is not my fear. You are my hope. You are everything. Please fill me with peace. I need your peace. Fill me with trust for you. Build my faith. Let the angels attend me and keep me safe. When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot thou hast taught me to say it is well with my would. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, let this blest assurance control-- that Christ has regarded my helpless state and has shed his own blood for my soul. It is well. With my soul. IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. Jesus, I will follow you whe the trials come I will give you glory and not be afraid for my life because I know that you keep me safe. Thank you for your peace and love. I pray that you can give me rest now, that sleep would come easily and that I would be rested for tomorrow. Thank you for reassurance that it's going to be alright. Take me. Take what you have in me and use me for your will. I love you Father.-- Grace"
This fear has only come two other times. Both other times I was working at camp. I was counseling and I woke up in the middle of the night with similar fears of people coming and hurting those in the camp. But this doesn't happen often.
I woke up at eight, and went downstairs after packing, and caught Doug, who was making the breakfast, just in time to get my spanish omelette to be vegan--right before they put the eggs in.

We had breakfast, then we went to the Meditation building and had our service. We presented our masks and said what they represented.
Then we closed, cleaned up, and drove home.
That was the retreat. I left with less energy, came back with more. I left without a reprint of myself, and came back with one. I came back with more understanding and more growth, but again, never in ways I was expecting.

My mask represents the definition of color that defines faces for me, it is emphasized in the eyes and brows. The furrowed brow represents that sometimes I get frustrated at my internship. The silver that is around the mask represents all this information that is coming at me all at once, of different ideas, of all the social injustice of it all--and how I'm surrounded by it up to my chin.
The lips represent that I have much to say, as I always do, but now it's not all about me but about everyone else.

Sick + Meds = LOOONG DAAYS

On Tuesday, I woke up not well enough to go to Garrison. I talked to Mom on the phone and she encouraged me to to go the doctor because I wasn't going to be home for two weeks, and so I complied, and asked Jess who her doctor was. I called them, and got an appointment at one in the afternoon.
Before I left, I sorted through all the spices in the cabinet and made an inventory, devised an alternative route to Bethesda in the mornings via Silver Spring, and took a shower, then I left for the doctor's office. It was off of the Forest Glen metro station, in Maryland, and when I exited, it had the most foilage I've seen in awhile. There were trees and bushes--oh hallelujah! It was peaceful and quiet, and there weren't many people there. Then I walked the 7/10ths of a mile to the doctor's office from there, which was quite a challenge for me because I was pretty tired and weak from being sick. I didn't have any trouble finding the office, and I signed in, signed some forms, and then after a five minute wait, I got my vitals taken by a nurse. This is the part that I hate--getting weighed and being told that I'm not quite 5'7" (over and over one million times).
Then I was asked about my symptoms and basically gave my family's and my own entire medical history, to the physician's assistant student (she was doing her residency for medical school). That was very interesting--I truly enjoy talking about myself and my family's medical history. It still does interest me and sometimes I wonder with all the things I've been living with--the headaches, the irregular periods, the constant fatigue, the occasional intestinal cramps--is all connected to what's going on, although not necessarily with my sinuses. I wonder if there is something that I could do that would make it all go away--if there's some vitamin deficiency that is causing all of these symptoms. The P.A. student thought that maybe I should get some blood-work done, since I have not had blood work done since sixth grade. Then she examined my nose, mouth, ears, and lungs, and said that everything was mostly fine. When the actual Physician's Assistant came in, she examined me as well, told me I didn't really have a sinus infection but some other kind of infection that was your basic bacteria growing with a virus, because the cold lasted so long. So I left the office, walked back to the metro, went straight to the CVS from the metro, and asked for my prescription.
I had to call back the doctor's office three times to ask them to resend it, only for the pharmicist who actually knew what she was doing technologically to tell me that it was on the computer and that they needed to set up an account for me. I was extremely exhausted from being sick and all, so this was emotionally challenging. Then I walked home, and was more tired. I was going to go with Emily to YSOP and help feed a free meal to the homeless again, but I realized that I should rest and stay at home and we talked for a little while about gardening, relationships, the weather (and if it was time to plant things yet), the upcoming retreat, and about going on the roof. . .
I get energy when I talk to people, because after Emily left, I went in my room and cleaned, and also organized the box that sits at the end of the table. This box has been filled with everything that has been left on the table for the past two months--various papers, books, gloves, flip flops, and hats. It was interesting because it was so easy to do. Yet no one had done it yet. But isn't that the way it is with every chore? I ate supper, and I'd like to say that I went to bed, but I didn't. I still had homework to do. And I watched Dirty Dancing. And talked to the Hazletts over Skype. And China called and told me that there was a change of plans with the movie. I went to bed at 10:30 pm. I had to get up early on Wednesday to go to Bethesda adn I obediantly took my meds--Amoxicillin and Claritin-D plus my vitamin, and then I left for BCC. I did my devotions on the metro ride and around the Judiciary Square station, a man got on the train and stationed himself at the opposite door from the one people were entering from. This is usually fine, but the train was pretty crowded, and the next station on the line opened at that door. He was standing in the way of anyone entering or exiting. A woman got on and must have muttered something about having trouble getting on because the man was there and started talking rudely back to her. Not the tone of voice or type of language that you want to hear in the morning. He said something like "I paid my fare. I can stand where I want to." But he didn't have any curtesy to those that were around him. At all. He kept coming back to it. Saying how rude she was. It just kept pissing me off. I'm all about equal rights, and this man wasn't treating her equally. So I said something. "This woman isn't being offended by you anymore. Quit talking and let it go." But as you can imagine. It didn't help anything. His sour attitude was brought back down--on me--and thankfully he shut up, and got off the car. If you can imagine--I was tired, vulnerable, and being insulted by anyone, regardless of his irrationality and probable amount of issues, I felt a bit upset and pissed off. At least he got off at Metro Centerand I didn't have to deal with him anymore. I got to BCC just in time for two very disagreed classes on cat-calling and men yelling at women on the street. I wished that I could have said more in that, because the only thing that I talked about was the guy that got out of his car and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I felt like what I said was disagreeable to how I actually felt. Then we went to Wilson High school. As I crossed the street out of the metro station, I recognized an earring in a man's ear, and realized that it was Mike, the FARM vegan animal rights expert, and he was coming to Colman's class. I walked him to the class, and then heard his story again. It was great to hear again, but I was so tired and I couldn't figure out where this immense exhaustion was coming from, and I started feeling rather depressed. This happens when I'm tired--and Wednesday was the worst day for it, because I work all morning, and then we have seminar all afternoon. There is no time for naps, or resting, or finishing a song. I got home, ate, then had to leave. We went to the Capital Building--we rode the metro there, but then we had to walk and the whole time I was thinking and wishing that we'd be done, that it would stop. We went from one place to another--first to a senator's office who supported the closing of SOA then all the way to the other side of the Capitol, where we sat in a room in a circle and head more and more and more and freaking more information about the history of Latin America and the people who went to the School of the Americas that are now human rights violators and how you get a senator or congressman to mention something and think of it's importance. In the same time, I was getting intestinal cramps and we still had to walk through an hour long tour of the Capitol which I didn't care at all about. Then i went home and decided to start on the video assignment for the next week.  It was called "Black.White." and was about two families. one black and one white, who switched races to see the difference. I decided to watch all six episodes and then went to bed at almost eleven. I'm pissed that the medicine I'm on makes me tired and messes with my stomach and intestines. On Thursday, I woke up at seven--it was too early! I needed more sleep and got ready and took a shower and left later than I meant to and got to Garrison frazzled and already tired. Luckily, Mr. Abdullah sat me down, gave me water and EmergenC packets and papers to grade. I'm not at the same energy level so much that Mr. Abdullah noticed right away when I came in the door. All the people at my house have noticed as well. Even Aly, when I was Skyping with Bekah, only saw me for a little bit and she said that I was less chipper than usual. :( I can't wait until this sickness is over. I don't want to feel weak forever. I want to go running with Emily.
We are going on a retreat this weekend. I took today off because sleep sucked last night. The sun was absolutely gorgeous and I got to lay in the sun for a long time. It felt good to have warmth on my skin.
I had more energy then. No technology this weekend. You'll hear about this later!

Reflecting on Reflection

Reflection:
I don't take enough time to
Take a second glance at life
To see what just happened
And where it's leading me.
Life maintained on efficiency
And abhorring "laziness"
Pushes and Pushes until
The Domino effect has
Knocked us all down.
Life reflecting
Takes time as it is
Making each second matter
As we meditate on experiences life as led us through
Not taking that to reflect the second, to look back and take in
Rather than absorb for answers to questions
Makes life worth living.
What can I say I've done with my life if all I've done is
Increase the amount of money in my bank account,
Doing a job I hate?
Life should be live to love and to be loved.
Shy away from the despair and bitter taste of cold, hard money.
Walk further. Sing louder.
Look longer. Take what matters in, because without it, nothing else matters.
Time. Money was only invented because we don't have enough time.
Reflection is understanding yourself. It's more important to understand yourself than communicate with others.
Take the minute. Or hour.
Never make parts of life obligations.
Only do what you can do.
In the end, you find that is what you needed to do.
Welcome the silence.
Though it echoes through your mind and throws you off the first time.
Let all of our distractions
Outer layers, Unnecessary additions in life fall away.
Peel away to the core.
Be bare to the light.
May your gold-driven heart become softened by love
To accept and send out affection.
Affection over money
Time over money
Reflection over money.
This world is destructive
Stop the spinning and
Open your eyes.
Don't be afraid of change. Welcome it.

A Spring Break

Last Saturday, I helped serve a meal to the homeless with Emily and a group of middle school students from New Jersey. It was kinda cool actually. I wasn't planning on getting really excited about it or actually going, but I decided to, on a whim, and since Emily was making it really easy for me, I decided to go. It was right outside of MetroCenter, in a church, and the meal outreach program's called YSOP, and besides the meals for the homeless, they also have other outreach in the area of DC. The middle schoolers were fun to connect with. I got to the church after almost all the food preparations were made, and  so when Emily asked for some volunteers to help pop popcorn I volunteered with Jacquline, Tyler, and one other girl whose name escapes me. It was fun being myself completely, and enjoying joking around with these guys. I also helped at the entrance, giving name tags to the people who came in for the free meal (although while I was standing there, there wasn't anyone who came in). I talked to Tyler about track and field and marching band, knowing much on both of those subjects. It was really good. Then one of the other girls came over, and she was telling me about how they all only got four hours of sleep, and she asked me, "so are you in eighth or nineth grade?" heh heh. I told her I was in college.

I served salad in the line-up of people serving food. that was fun, because it was, and I realize that I have rather large serving sizes when it comes to vegetables. I can see what's too much with pretty much every other type of food, but with veggies, I never know when to stop. WHich is why I will need to have a very large garden in the future. 

When I sat down to eat, I sat next to this man named Mike, who was rather intellectual for people in DC in general that I have met so far. He had a very biblical perspective as well, with what he was talking about and that was nice to hear. He told me I was very pretty and that my eyes were pretty as well. After eating, I played the piano for a little while, during the time when everyone was cleaning up (somehow I get myself out of these things), and many people were enjoying that. One of the sponsors that I spent some time talking to about how I couldn't decide on a major said that my creative personality may be to blame for that. But the only thing is that I feel like I only exposed part of my personality while I was there. It seems like this happens a lot to me. 

On Sunday, I went to the Martin's house for lunch, and then went to the massivest thrift store in the world. I went to church with them. They gave me a ride--so sweet of them. The service was about Lent, and about reflection and how we need to spend more time intentionally reflecting--like i do when I do devos, or when I blog. We went to their house, which is in Mount Rainier, MD. It's about two miles from where my house is in the city. They threw something together to eat for lunch. The Martins have two kids, Adam, in seventh grade, I think, and Olivia, who I am pretty certain is 8. They were great through most of the meal, and then Olivia had an outburst and later on in the day, Cheryl (the mom) was saying how it had been a hard year, and that she got some counseling and was better for awhile. I'm not sure if that meant that she was adopted or what, but it was interesting to hear and to understand. We went to what they would call Value Village and the Unique Thrift Store, which was about the size of a warehouse, and there was a bizarre in the middle of it. I was on a mission for a large amount of yarn for a very cheap price and I found it. I got a neon green garbage bag full of yarn for $25. And I'm working on my second project. Maybe I'll make some pillows or something. 

Jess and I went to see Young Victoria, and then proceeded to watch the Oscars afterward. It was great, except at the very beginning when we were fighting with the antenna to get the best reception which was ironically out the open window. 

On Tuesday, I worked with Mr. Abdullah again. I made him some graphs of progress about the students and their Oral Reading Fluency and Nonsense Word Fluency. I graded some spelling tests, and helped students proofread their work. I also just helped with questions and things. Mr. Abdullah said that I was doing a really good job with helping them answer their questions without answering the actual questions. It was really challenging for me because some of the questions I tried to explain it one way, and they wouldn't get it, so I would have to explain it another way. I was walking up 12th street to get back to the metro to go home, and I walked past some boys who were probably in high school. I had my coat off because it was a nice day, and had the book that I was reading on top of it, and one of them made the comment, "I've read that book." I asked him what it was about. (that's me being smart with him. I don't want to take his crap. most of the time I have to shrug it off, but sometimes I just want to relate to them because they are people too, and it's hard because they are hitting on me. I told him I had a boyfriend. and he said, "well, friends can call friends," and I just shook my head and kept walking. I was exhausted when I got home, but somehow had enough energy to play volleyball. It may have been because there was warmth in the air and we played with some new people. Corrie and I went grocery shopping, and got a whole bunch of produce and a bunch of bags of beans, and all these things that we wanted for us because we were the only ones in the house, and somehow only spent $115... Food is so much more expensive here than it is in Wauseon or Streetsboro. It makes sense, because there is a higher demand, there is a higher price, but it's still frustrating for your Mennonite shopper.
On Wednesday, I made granola in the kitchen with two other people cooking two different things. Lindsay was making a squash casserole and David and Ben, who were visiting DC cand staying in Fetsum's room while he was at home for break were making pancakes. It was hilarious, because I could tell by the first two 'pancakes' made that they hadn't made them in a long time. They were "scrambled". So I was giving little clues along the way, all the while, mixing together a beasting granola recipe. I felt better then, and I had a lot of energy. It was such a nice day on Wednesday. The sun was out and the weather was great. We opened a whole bunch of windows, only to close them after awhile. There was a lot of noise if we left them open--just cars passing all the time.
Thursday, I talked to Jeweli on Skype until I had no more time to get ready before I had to leave for work. Then I rode the Metro to Garrison, and got to hang out with the kids all day. I helped them comprehend directions, and I graded assignments, and gave lots of hugs. 

On Friday, I went to school with Colman. He talked more about animal rights. The kids pay attention in his first period class, they just don't really respond as much as ideally would. But it is understandable--7:25 is pretty early to start a day. 

Tango lessons. Interesting. I can't wait to teach you. :P 

On Saturday morning, Lindsay and I decided to go do this service project with the church that she has been attending. At first we were going to work together, and then decided to separate, since I realized that I was not mentally prepared to work in an ER, even if it was to give refreshments to the families that were there. The last time I was in an ER, Dad had a stroke, and that was traumatizing. 

So instead, I went with a group of women to the Youth Services Center, which is your basic  rehab center for people under eighteen convicted of violent crimes. THe planned activity that we did was a "Dance Off". There were seven girls there, and they were so sweet and were so beautiful. They separated the girls and the volunteers into two groups. I was with two other volunteers and two girls. And it was so fun. I learned some new hip hop movies and laughed a lot and saw how much those girls loved some of the songs that China (one of the ladies in charge) brought for the reflection time. I could see how God was working in their lives and saw how they wanted more than anything to go home and learn from their experiences. I told China I wanted to be more involved, and when she went again to call me and bring me along. 

I got a ride home with one of the women that was there working with us. She was very kind.

Lindsay and I went to the movies again. Al, this guy from volleyball gave us some free tickets, drinks, and popcorn again, and we went and saw "The Hurt Locker". It was a movie about Iraq and bomb techies. It was hard to watch because I know that a lot of the pain and sorrow that was shown in the movie wouldn't be happening if Americans hadn't gone into iraq. This movie won Best Picture, and best Director (which was the first woman to win the award). After the movie, I swallowed and realized that I was starting to get a sore throat. 

This morning I woke up and was sore all over and realized that I didn't want to go to church like this, and so I called the Martins, who were going to give me a ride and told them. Jess got a ride instead. 

I cleaned the kitchen this morning, and made the Amish Friendship Bread that has been sitting around the house for the past ten days, waiting to ferment and rise to satisfaction.

I was in the kitchen working on it when Jasmine and Jess were also, making lunch, so I participated in lunch with them, and afterward, when Jess gave me some staples to finish making my recycled journals/notebooks, I was talking to her, and she asked me how I was doing. 

Jasmine, who has dealt with depression earlier in the semester, when I was just telling her about my week and how it was really challenging because there weren't many people in the house, and she said to spend more time with people because seclusion isn't good for people who have depressive tendencies. So I'm working on being out of my room more. I got to Skype with my friend Bekah, which made things a bit more positive. 

Many people have told me I am and could definitely be a city girl, because my drive for variety and just the attitude I have with my personality make it easy for me to fit in. I don't know if it's something that I might do in the future--spending time in NYC after this will make it clear in either direction, I hope. 

I recently finished the book "Run Baby Run" by Nicky Cruz, and it was a challenging book. It was the story of Nicky's life, and how he went from being the roughest gang leade in NYC in the 50s to being a pastor, and doing work in the city in youth centers. It was also inspiring. I thought it was going to scare the heck out of me, but it informed me of the lifestyle that caused deterioration to many, just depending on what neighborhoods that they lived in. Here's the link to his website. It's crazy putting a face to a story I've heard of and read. 

Interesting Circumstances

So today started out normal. I woke up at 6:00 to get ready by six thirty to get to the metro. I did so. As usual, with my motto of "I'll get there when I get there," I missed my train by thirty seconds and had to wait for the next one. I was going to walk to the next bench down the way because the one I was passing was full, but unexpectedly, the man, who looked to be in his late thirties, early forties, moved aside to make room for me. That doesn't happen, ever, really, unless you ask, or initiate in some way.
"Are you a graduate student?" Just blunt, right out there.
I answered no, that I was a junior in college.
But from then on, Matthew, as I soon found out, was very enthusiastic and awake for the pre 7:00 hours. He didn't have time to make breakfast, so he had two eggs in a plastic bag in his bag. He was very kind, and interested in what I had to say, but it was crazy to hear someone so awake.
Thoughts going through my mind--is this guy mentally all there? Is he on something? But I kept reminding myself not to judge, not to make an assumption about him. That's what everyone else does. He was very kind, and had a great smile.
I hustled to BCC, and attended both of Colman's classes, as usual. We talked about the death penalty for the first period, as they are mostly dead in the morning, but then in the second period class, the discussion was much more lively, and strayed from what he was going to talk about, as it usually did--they talked about drugs and the economy. There was a guy that said he dealt marjuana in his neighborhood. I was rather surprised that he was so open about it, but I was also thankful that he was honest about it.
I rode the metro to Wilson, and got there in good time, and arrived before Colman got there.
So I stood in front of the class, uncertain as to grab their attention, or something else. I saw one of the girls that had spoken up respectfully earlier in the semester, and I saw that she was doodling on a Postal Priority Mail Address Label, and I asked her what she was mailing, and it turns out that Alicia was working on an original drawing for someone else's project of a sort--a whole bunch of people were given the address label, and told to make a little picture or design on it.
Colman started class, he handed out the books, and started working a little bit with them. There wasn't much done there. The class has started to respect him better, from what I can tell.

I stood up in front of the class on Wednesday when he went to go get security because he was so frustrated with them, and got their attention. There was one girl who was motherf***ing everything when she came into the room after Colman left to get security, and I asked her to stop swearing. Then they realized I wasn't a student.
"Wait, you the teacher?"
"Yes, I am."
One of the boys in the back row raised his hand, and I pointed at him and asked him what his question was.
"You're beautiful."
I replied, "Thank you, but I hear that everyday."
Another guy who I have had simple conversation with before added, "You have a lot of fans in this class because you are beautiful."
(Sometimes I get so sick of being something pretty that other people look at and get distracted by. It just pisses me off that I have a capturing personality and that I draw people to me. Maybe I'm not even that good looking. Maybe my personality is just so strong that I draw people to me, and they have no choice to love me. But IT'S SO FRUSTRATING. I just want to be heard, and listened to, and not have my body judged.)
I asked the class to raise their hands if they were interested in learning what Colman had to say, and there was more participation when I asked this than there had been ever before with all of Colman's voting ("powersharing"), and then I asked them to be honest, and raise their hands if they didn't want to be here at all. No one raised their hands, though I was persistant in saying that I would not judge them either way.
"If you guys want to learn what Colman is talking about, what he's trying to teach you, you need to respect him, and that means not talking when he's talking. If you have something you want to say, then you need to raise your hand."
Then "you're beautiful" guy, Andrew, raised his hand again.
"Are you going to say I'm beautiful again?"
Then Colman came back into the classroom with the security and laid down the law, but I think I made an impact.

After class, I walked to the metro again, there was a college-aged girl named Zoey who stopped me on the way and asked me if I could join Environmental America, which is working to take care of the Chesapeake.
One of the facts that she pointed out was that the chicken companies, Perdue and Tyson are not regulated in the pollution that they let out into the environment (IT'S ALL CONNECTED), anyway, I said that I would support them, and I decided that it would part of my tithe. It's not just monetary--there's going to be a part where I can do a little activism is given the option.

As I was going down the escalator, the beautiful notes of a guitar was playing. I was enjoying it immensely, and was overjoyed to see that it was coming from a man playing at the bottom of the escalators. I stopped, gave him the $2 I had in my wallet, and started talking about music, life, and other things with this guy. His name was Rudy, and he'd been playing guitar for 18 years, and I asked what he was saving up for--he said some recording time. He said that he'd been places, but he came back to DC because there was home for him here, and that he could be inspired by it. Here's a Clip.

I rode the metro home. I was happy for making connections with so many people today. Then on my way back to the house from the Metro station, there was a man in a car that drove past me when I was at the corner of Michigan and 10th, and I didn't think anything of it, people look at me from their cars all the time. As I walked down the street toward our house, I heard someone yell, "Hey cutie" from way far away. I thought they yelled it at me, but I wasn't sure, and I kept walking.
Then the same guy, still in his car, still on the road, said, "can I talk to you for a second?"
This has never happened before. I was really cautious, but I knew that it was 12:00, and there were houses all around me, so I stopped and waited for this guy. He parked his car, got out, and walked over to me.
"You got a boyfriend?" First thing, right up. This is what started or stopped what ever topic followed.
"Yes."
"You got kids?"(LOL this was the second question)
"No."
"You a student?"
"Yep."
"Where do you go? Catholic?"
"Nope, it's a school in Harrisonburg, Virginia."
"Is that Southern Virginia?"
"No."
"How old are you?"
I said to guess. I don't give away my age easily. It often affects how people look at me.
"21?", and when I shook my head no, he asked, "older or younger?"
When I said, "Younger," he was surprised. "Really? Nineteen?" That's what I went with. (for the record, I turn 19 in May.)
He offered me a ride, which I declined. I said the rain was good for my hair (and as I'm embracing it's awesome curliness, the humidity was adding to the volume.).
Greg (which I found out shortly after he asked what my name was somewhere in the conversation), said something like, well you certainly have a lot of it, but a little bit nicer sounding.
After he asked me what school I went to, he asked if I'd been to "the library" on Monroe and 12th. I'm not sure if it's actually a library yet. I'm going to do some field research (meaning walk over there to see, during the day), and he said that he was a rapper and that they have music on Wednesday nights at eight and other people come and do their thing--some sing, some rap. I didn't say anything about my music so I was surprised.
I don't even know why he was inclined to talk to me in the first place.
"and maybe afterward, I can get you a drink."
"or not."
"ah, that's right, your not twenty one."

Then I walked home, a little paranoid that he would follow me back to the house, but he didn't, which I was truly thankful for. I didn't want to have to call the cops.

Took a two hour nap. I totally needed that. I got seven hours of sleep last night, and although I was functioning fine, there was a great wave of exhaust(ion) that was overcoming me shortly after lunch, adn I succumbed to it.

Lindsay and I left for tango lessons with Rezz at six twenty. It was a lot of fun, a new challenge, and opened my eyes to a new culture. I could go on and on about it, but I really need to go to bed. Needless to say, Lindsay and I are going to practice and practice and get really awesome and teach out boyfriends when they come back from their foreign countries (Isaac is going to Mexico in a couple of months).

I've eaten a lot of black beans, and butternut squash in the past two days. :)

Babel

We watched Babel last night.
Besides the excessive amount of nakedness in the Asian department, and the guns, and the lack of equality,  it was a good sad movie.
This past week has flown by. With big strong wings the chickens in the movies that Colman shows in class will never have, and strength that I lose within the first few hours of the day when I'm working with some of the kids at Garrison.
It's Spring Break for EMU, and so most of the house is gone.
I'm here, with Lindsay, Corrie, and two guys that Fetsum let stay in his room. Ben, and David (?).
So a lot of hanging out.
A lot of working, and not wanting to go to work.
A lot of movies, and not very much blogging.
Things I need to write about, or you need to ask me about.
Last Saturday, I helped serve a meal to the homeless with Emily and a group of middle school students from New Jersey.
On Sunday, I went to the Martin's house for lunch, and then went to the massivest thrift store in the world.
On Monday, I got the day off.
On Tuesday, I worked with Mr. Abdullah again, and played volleyball with some new people. Corrie and I  went grocery shopping.
On Wednesday, I made granola in the kitchen with two other people cooking two different things.
Today, I have to go to work in twelve minutes, and I am still in my glasses, pajamas, devos not done, the sink is leaking, and I still need to pack my lunch.
And I want a backrub, and a foot rub, and my very own break.

There's my babel for you.

and where does peace come in??

Issues of the day:
Conversations with Kelvin Franco, seven year old.
G:I want you to do this work (working on a reading comprehension assignment)
K: I don't want to. It's boring.
G: You need to learn to read to do things in the world.
K: But it's boring. I wanna go home.
G:Do you have any friends in this class?
K:No.
G:What do you do at recess?
K:Run around.
G:What does your mom do?
K:Works for the world bank.
G:What does your dad do?
K:I don't have a dad.
G:Do you have a father figure? Does your mom have a boyfriend or husband?
K:No.
My grandma had a heart attack last week.
G:How's she doing? Did she have heart damage?
K: Ok. There was some.
G:Do you have a grandpa?
K: Yea. But he's not a good guy.
G:Why's that?
K: He drinks too much beer.
G:What do you do at home, Kelvin?
K: I watch TV.
G:Do you do anything else?
K: Play video games.
G: What do you want to be when you grow up?
K: I wanna rob people.
G: You mean you want to steal stuff?
K: Yeah, I wanna steal stuff, and to stab and kill people.

This is where he lost me. And I stayed out in the hall longer than he did. I was lost in this answer. What fills someone up with anger so much that all they want to do with their life is take and take?
Kelvin had some happiness during the rest of the day, but it was based on fooling around and taking things that he found funny that he did to break the rules that made him smile. And it didn't stop him from getting in a fight with one of his classmates right after recess, in the classroom. I had to call security. Partly because that's how they handle it, and partly because Kelvin hit the other kid. And had rage in his eyes. In the computer lab later, when he was supposed to be playing math games, he was on Yahoo with the friend which he hit (they made up quickly) and looking at the bra ad on Yahoo page.

The whole day was rather stressful, because I learned that you can't get people to do work that they don't want to do. And that was really frustrating for me, because i know that I'm always going to want to do the work, to please the other person, and I cannot understand why they don't want to do it.

The kids love me more than I could ask for. They always want me to sit next to them. They want me to check their work, and help them with assignments. They want me to tie their shoes and go with them to go get ice for their ankles. When we were making up a story while sitting on the carpet in the classroom, I had three people leaning on me/laying on me/ trying to lay on me. It was completely adorable. I couldn't ask for more. I love that they love me. And I love them. Even if I have a headache. And the nurse in the school doesn't have any medication for me.

I biked to and from Garrison today. I was debating it on and off--I'm stilll a little sick, in different ways, it seems, and it's getting to me, but I really wanted to do it, and the Mennonite in me wanted to save some money. And it was good to get some exercise and see some more of the city.

Today was better than Tuesday with the control, but it seemed like there was more noise, although less people were there. There was more accomplished, but at the same time, I was weary of Mr. Abdullah not being there for me to learn from. Today made me not want to be a teacher. Today made me want to be a Social Worker. Or a Counselor.

I love kids either way. I'm working to not be an insomniac now.

Quotes oF the Day

I worked in the elementary school on Tuesday. To my surprise, and I'm sure his as well, there was a substitute and we had quite a day with Mr. Abduallah's students, because they are so used to a routine that anything beyond what Mr. Abduallah does with them makes them go crazy.
So we had a day.
And I learned that I am not the type of person that gets mad at kids for talking in class. I got so sick of being one of the quiet ones punished with the rest by teachers and subs alike for being "bad" and talking.
There's nothing wrong with talking in class, just as long as you respect me when I'm in the front of the room, and you get your work done. Granted, not all kids can get their work done while talking, and I was sitting with one of such kids. Judging by the assignments I've graded, and his behavior in class, I think that Kamari has a little dislexia and perhaps some ADHD, although I think that he could have had an interest in me, because I was sitting there next to him working through his packet with him.
Earlier in the day, he said "When I die, I'm going to be cremated." He just came up to me.

But my favorite conversation was with Dayana. I was sitting next to her, showing her how to cut out hearts from a folded piece of paper, and she turned, looked at me and asked me the question that was obviously burning in her mind.
"When you have a baby, are you going to bring 'em here?"
I told her I had no ring, I had no baby.
"But when you get married, and have a baby, are you going to bring her to your aunt's house, or are you going to bring her here?"
"I'm probably going to stay at home with her, or my husband will stay home with her."

Then she did the cutest thing. The heart's she cut out of the paper she made me a valentine like thing. but instead of writing something like happy valentine's day or something, she drew two people, a man and a woman, and wrote, "will you marry me?" and underneath the people she wrote "you said yes."
Then she drew a baby in between the people.
And wrote names next to the people. "Mrs. Grece" and (I did tell her, though she did spell it wrong) "Zack" (originally spelled "Zake")
So that was my day highlights.
I chilled at home, recovering from being sick, rather than going to volleyball.

"Honored Guest, Jess Engle"

So I invited my Dad to come and be a guest in Colman's class for Monday, so he could see parts of my internship and what I'm up to.
We rode into DC Sunday afternoon, and Dad went to the Dance Place event with us. No one in the house knew what this event was going to become until we got there. We hung our coats up and were told to take our shoes off, for the floor is danced upon, and dirt isn't a fun thing to roll around in.
Steven and Laura introduced themselves, and we then warmed up with an interesting episode of Musical Chairs, where, rather than fighting over the last chair and the latter being kicked out of the game, chairs were removed, but everyone in the group had to figure out how to situate on the chairs so that no one was left off of them. We did this until there were three chairs left, and there being fifteen people, we somehow did, although I couldn't see the finished product because I was in the middle, with Jess on my left and LIndsay on my right, standing on top of the chairs, and and Christa was right across from me.
We then had five chairs in the middle of the floor, and Steven had several volunteers rearrange the chairs into positions where one chair had power over the other chairs, and talk about what the chairs would say if they had a cartoon bubble. Then people were added to the chairs, and the chairs were arranged in different manners. This was an interesting proposal, because not everyone wanted to volunteer, and a couple times, other people were volunteered. I volunteered myself. (Later I heard that Jessica and Andrew were feeling sick, and Corrie had just broken up with her boyfriend, which explained why they didn't have any energy or interest to add to the discussion.) We then did an initiative where we all walked around the room not looking at each other, and then Steven told the room certain instances to look at others, to look, then look away, or to not make any eye contacts. One was if you identified as female or male, and made eye contact if you identified with one and vise versa for the other. We also did if you identified as a person of color, or not. It was an interesting introduction and good processing point. Then they preformed their dance. It was about interracial marriage, and how this was an issue, it was a dispute in the fifties, and was illegal until a couple fought it in court. And still last year, there were couples that were denied their marriage licenses because the judge thought that their children wouldn't be able to be established in society. The dance was modern and interesting, with flips and hand stands and lifts and the emotion was raw. The first movement of the dance was with a Therimin, using the motion and the dance to make a sweet combination of dancers movement and the sound made by the instrument to dance to. It was the best combination of music and dance, and the closest it could ever be intertwined it seems. The second dance used the words of someone talking about recent issues in interracial marriages, and the third one was complete verse from Steven and Laura dancing at the same time.
Afterward, we were separated into groups of five, and told to make sculptures of oppression.
Our group did me, Emily, and Corrie in the middle clutching our knees to our chests, and Andrew and Doug surrounding us, looking down on us. Fetsum, Christa, Lindsay and Bryan had all of them except Bryan lying on the floor stomachs down, while Bryan was standing next to them. The last group, which included Jess, Alana, who is an intern at the Dance Place, Sanj, Dad, and Jodibeth (Doug's wife), had Dad on the floor with Jodibeth and Alana's foot on his back, and Jess was sitting on Sanj's back.
We were asked to interpret and then show a sculpture of equality. Our group pose for a family picture (taken by Emily), Fets' group sat in a circle playing a game of "Down By the Bay", and Dad's group all held hands and leaned out away from each other, achieving balance. They asked us to combine the two, going from oppression to equality, and to add dialogue.
Ours:
Corrie: "I don't know what to do."
Emily:"I think I can get up, but I don't know what they will do to us."
Doug: (ultimately corny) "Let's take a picture."
[after moving to take photo]
Me: "If you guys come more to our level, we can take a better picture."
Emily: "Cheese!"
Everyone else: "Cheese!"

Dad's group:
Jess: "Can someone get me coffee?"
Sanj: "I would, but you are still using me as a chair."
Jess: "Oh, sorry."
Jodibeth: "Did you hear that they hired another man in the department?"
Alana: "Who needs more men?"
Dad: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."

Bryan's group:
Fetsum: Hey, Bry, would you mind helping me up?
Bryan: Sure.
Christa: Fetsum, could you give me a hand?
(after everyone is standing and still holding hands,)
Lindsay: Let's play a game.

After this and more discussion, we were given sheets of paper and told to write down what this project moved in us, and then we were finished and headed back to the house. Dad and I had walked there, and we walked back.

The next morning started bright and early at 6AM. We both got up and ate food, then headed out the door on time to get the the metro with minutes to spare (although I didn't actually look at my clock)
We sat on the metro, and I did my devotions, like I always do, until we got to Bethesda, then we walked over to the school, and went in the second floor entrance, because we were already a little later than I expected. We walked straight up to the fourth floor to the classroom where Colman was, and I introduced my dad to Colman, and then it began. Dad told some stories about stinky breath, rabbit poop in snuff, dog poop and teaching, and cranky old lady neighbors, and then Colman would include him in some lively discussion about Christianity, and threw in some animal rights. The first class was dead, as usual, although everyone was listening, that was for sure--there weren't any unattentive people, and some questions even escaped their lips--they asked about Mennonites, and what they were.
The second class was when some good stuff started coming. Dad and Colman had already had their initiation, and Colman was asking some interesting questions, and Dad was responding honestly--that he was unprepared and told him that he could talk to him about these questions over a cup of coffee (to which Colman replied, "Oh, you partake of the drug of caffeine?" and then Dad said, "Oh ok. so if I was having this discussion with you over a glass of water..." Colman: "as long as it isn't bottled water.") that he could discuss them with him further. Colman walked us to the Metro station, continuing to talk to Dad after it was over, although once out of the class room, he wasn't being a reporter getting the gasps from the audience anymore, and that was appreciated, because you could taste the stress in the air.
Dad and I rode the Metro back, and I could totally tell his mind was still spinning, and I helped him figure out his exit strategy from the city before I sent him on his way. We crammed a lot into the hours of 6AM-9AM.

yes, I am, within my freedom, am plugging in my earplugs and going to bed before eight pm. Although tonight's siesta will not beat the fourteen hour beast of a could weeks ago, it will be worth every wink.

Cold Weekend

So it wasn't really cold. I was cold. I had a cold.
Full blown, crusty itchy nose, sore sinus, headache in the morning, cough with hacking tendencies, and also a little chest pain when I would breathe in deeply. These things all combined led to some rather bad nights of sleep in a bed that wasn't mine.
What did I do?
I went down to EMU for the weekend.
I rode in with Doug, Kim, Emily, and Lindsay, and I actually drove part of the way down. (I haven't driven a car since December). The discussion in the car was interesting, as they are the directors and we are the students, they were asking us about the other people in the house, and what is going on with the current alcohol situation. We arrived a little after five.
My dad came into town, and I stayed at my grandparents house. We had a great supper--Grandma Peg is doing the East Orthodox fast for lent--she's eating vegan this lent, so there were many different options for me to eat vegetarian food, which I was thankful for.
Friday morning I woke up with a gravelly voice at six thirty. Sure, I had time to get ready, but I was really unmotivated by the cold that was overtaking me. Jess and I practiced before everyone else came to plan the skit and it was still really bad, so I decided that I was going to sing softer than I would normally, which turned out fine, except the song didn't have the "graceesque" that I wish I could have added.
Bryan did a prayer, Jasmine and I shared. My sharing was all over the place. I had about half a journal page of notes that I was going off of, and I could have kept sharing, but I was talking fast, covering a lot of material and baring my soul to a lot of people that didn't know a lot about me until that point (there was a large amount of campus visitors attending the chapel). We shared three skits about our time in DC. The first one was about my experience at the Funky Fleamarket, and I was Doug's character, not myself. The skit after that was about Marty Langelman, who came in and taught us some self-defense ideals during orientation--Jess was Marty, and she did an amazing job. Corrie played the "man in the grey sweater". The third skit was about Fetsum and the Dkembe Mutombo experience after the MLK event at the Kennedy center. Fetsum played himself and it was completely hilarious. Corrie shared after that and the entire chapel was a success.
I met with Laura after chapel. The discussion wasn't as great as the first one we had (there was a bit of distraction in Common Grounds), but it was beneficial nonetheless.
I stayed in common grounds for a little while. I was checking my connections on my computer (aka Facebook and Gmail) and then my friend Anca came in and ate lunch and talked with me, and that was nice. She's taking three sciences this semester (insane) but it also working at taking piano lessons, and was telling me about how she's working on a Music minor and really loves music. I was glad to hear that and relate with her. She had made a comment about me asking her for the recipe for her vegan chocolate chip cookies, so I was telling her about my conversion to vegetarianism, and my tendency to want to eat vegan (though it's really hard to resist a good cup of chai tea) We ended our discussion close to one, because I wanted to be able to use my coupon to eat in the cafeteria.
I ate with Jamila, Mike, and a Prospective student named Liz and her father. Once they left I sat at a table with Taylor and Austin and was having a great conversation with them about dumpster diving, and other things, and soon we walked over to Common Grounds and watched the men's basketball game on online feed. (which the Rocking ROYALS WON with a 20 point advantage)
Janelle and I went thrift store shopping.
I got some new running shoes when Dad and I went to the mall later.
We went back to Grandma and Grandpa's for supper later.
Saturday started out awesome. I went over to EMU for part of Jamila's birthday celebration, and Margaret and Melanie where there from HDC, and I got to connect with them a little bit. Some of the guys made couscous and a chickpea stew that was very spicy.
Then Meg and I decided to try to get some people interested in playing a board game, and sufficiently getting some, we trooped off to find some board games. Coming up with only Settlers and Taboo after a long search, we came back physically tired, while the group we came back to had been exhausted--by homework, tours, activities of other excitement and such, and so there we were, three other participants willing enough to play a card game. Not what we had in mind, but it worked.
Crystal and I also ended up watching an epic movie that was four hours long. It was a good movie. but it was long.
I went to the Haiti benefit meal with Dad, Crystal, and Ellie, and had fun teasing a little boy while waiting in line to get food. I did try some of the desserts, though I gave up sweets for lent, because I knew it would be a long time before we had them again (I haven't had flan since my sophomore year in high school, and baklava since last fall).
Dad and I went over to Jon and Amy's house to see the boys after that--we saw baby Jarren, and also how much all the boys had grown up. While we were there, The Longest Yard came on, and we watched it until the end. I got a lot of knitting done on my blanket square I was working on.
Sunday I didn't come to church until later, and had a hard time finding it too, and then felt sick the entire service, and had to stare at a couple sitting in front of me, looking lovingly into each others eyes the entire time. It was cute, but at my state of nausea, it was sickingly cute. Literally.
Dad and I left for DC around 2:40, after having some Ethiopian coffee with Grandma and Grandpa.
I started working on my fourth square for my blanket.
Dad came with our group to the interactive project at the Dance Place that was one of the things we were going to as a group. It was interesting and beneficial, but also awkward at the beginning--I don't know if anyone was expecting it to be what it was, but we had a good time.
What should I have done?
Slept more, drank more tea (although Dad will tell you that I have no problem downing it)
sat somewhere and knitted.
sucked my cough drops and blew my nose.
But I did all of these things within my days...