Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year's Thoughts

I've never been one to be normal, so New Year's Resolutions are not really my style.
But I do set goals for myself.
It's harder this year, because I have a lot less motivation than I used to. Luckily this is only temporary. But as of now, as I have changed, these are my thoughts for the new Year.
--Let God be God and let His Plans be. I have so much trouble with this because I just want to do what I want and I want to know what I'm going to be doing in the next year. But God has this wonderful plan... he's just waiting to reveal it to me when I have a fork in the road, and i need to decide which way of the path I'm going to take. I know everything is going to change when I start what I start this year. I know I'm going to be more aware of things I wasn't aware of, and it will, in essence, bring about new passions I didn't know existed. I don't know what I'm doing, and in basically, I'm about to be planted in a highly fertile field. The sun is warm and welcoming, I'm stretching my legs and my arms up to the sky. Now I'm ready for the run.
--Stop eating things that humans made to make themselves feel less guilty about what they are doing to their bodies, and such. I want to go back to the basics in every style of food. I want to learn how to make cheese, and become French! I want to stop eating processed things, and start eating local in the hopes that I can make the world more equal one bite at a time. Sabbath Economics to Barbara Kingsolver plus Meg's Personal Impact Project to My own.
I should probably make a plan of action... because I guess that's the type of person I am. I'm not really sure...but of course I would have to do research. And that is something I dread (also because of the person I am) and I don't know where to start... ok.. rabbit trail.
--I thought about making a goal to blog more often, have some sort of motivation to blog everyday (or as often as I could). This thought is from the inspiration of Julie and Julia, but with something more pliable to my own tastes. As much as I would aspire to be a French cook, I would fail miserably with the idea, and there is no way that I could be consistant about it.
Maybe I could take another science class, and blog about how sure I am that it is not the right class for me, and complain about it in every blog, while reviewing my notes.. Chemistry for the complete Apathetic Dummy. Ha. I would hate myself. OR Grace's Guide to Washington D.C.. But that would have to have some serious research. But it would be Hands On. . . I'm not sure. That last one seems the most plausible.
I could try to listen to a song I'd never heard of, using some type of search engine (ideas?) to look up a particular word or subject, and find different types of music that describe me. And also things like going to as many shows as I can in D.C. Finding connections with artists (and getting into shows for free) I don't know. I'm just storming through this brain of mine.
I'm tired. Bed Time. Maybe this will continue. Maybe not. Either way.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflections of a Time Worth Spent





No one said college would be easy. But coming from someone who took it voluntarily in high school to get away from the normality of the world was especially surprised when she discovered this was so.

I took two (and a half) years of classes at Akron University during high school before I graduated, and decided to come to EMU. I had been accepted into the Honors Program, and with that half tuition scholarship, started up on the stylish freshman fall semester. Within the first week, I was surrounded by many wonderful (but also sort of shallow) friends. I was finding time to exercize, the workload didn't seem that bad, and the people I wanted to spend the most time with were on the same floor as I was.

I went to my first party. I refused my first alcoholic drink, and the party crowd as a friendship base. I got my tongue pierced, to "follow my dreams", which is infamously, what I told my mother over a text directly after I got it pierced. Within the first week, I realized that I was more social than I had expected, more social that I'd ever been. So social, in fact, that it was inhibiting me from being a good college student. My friends were not in my classes, and so work did not get done when I spent time with them. Even worse, I realized that the major that I had in my life plan was actually something that I didn't have a passion for. So shoot, I had to finish a semester with two unwanted science classes that were not easy.

I had the first section of hard-core long-distance relationship, as letters and shortened, spaced out phone calls suddenly were treasured so so much more than the original two hour conversations nightly.

And I felt, for the first time, like I was burned out, like I wasn't accomplishing anything, and that all the learning was going down the drain, and it was being wasted. I felt like I wasn't ready to choose my major. I didn't know what to major in and so I had no idea what I was doing, taking classes at EMU to some uncertain, unsure-if-it-was-ever-there-goal. (I'm serious. In the past, it has been so easy to come up with a poster list of goals for a season, a month, or a semester, and I could not think of more than two!) I was unmotivated, nothing was worth working toward, other than the end of the day, or the weekend, or the break. College--learning--had become my 9-5 I-hate-my-job situation. Some days it still feels that way.

Why was I at college? I'd already done this, and I was sick of explaining how I got to where I did, and how I now knew nothing about what I wanted to do, or what classes to take and what was the point of me being here, if all it felt like was a waste of time and money.

The answer was not (yet) for the degree, or the major (which I still have no idea what I am going to major in), but for the experience, and the friendships.
The people I met with the different perspectives that woke me up to my own passions, and the experiences that I'd never challenged myself with,. Even though I waited to the end of the semester to make relationships with some, I still made them, and it made for a great end of te semester (though there was a trippingly horrible beginning.)
One of my goals, once getting to school was to keep running, no matter what time of the day. Within the first few weeks, I didn't go at all, resorting, exercise-wise, to walk around the track (as it was still warm at the time), and talk to Zach on the phone. But after Zach was into training and there weren't any phone calls, I decided to start running, and, fighting off al intimidation, I found a running partner who did thirty minutes at a time, a couple times a week. I was sort of unsure whether I would be able to go thirty minutes without stopping, but Ellie graciously accepted me at my twenty-five minute run, and we built up to the thirty minutes we both longed to be proud of. We ran at the indoor track, and the outdoor track, because often the indoor one was closed at the late hours we decided to go running. We would go between seven and (once) eleven o'clock for our runs, depending on what the day was like. Ellie and I talked about whatever was on our minds, and this run was one to look forward to because we could talk about anything on our minds, and get out the physical frustrations and mental frustrations. Ellie and I also occasionally (but I was the one who usually bought something) went to Organic Grounds--We would buy drinks and play cards, or we would study and play cards, or I would vent and Ellie would study. Either way, it was a relaxing time and break slightly off the EMU campus. One time we walked back to EMU through the back way behind the EMU campus, and we were pretty sure that we saw one of the soccer guys peeing in the pond. We veered around him, and prayed that he didn't hear us.... More recently, I gave Ellie my beta, and we were talking about how we were going to go to Wildwood park and get some Asiatic clams to filter the water because they would filter it indefinitely. We did go to Wildwood, but all the Asiatic clams were dead, and we found a larvae creature which Ellie named Carl, and we went and watched the falls for a couple minutes, and then I decided we should try to scare some of the ducks. Well, the ducks we just rustled from their nests, although the slight bit of yelling may have had a form of motivation. . . But then we glanced down the way of the swing bridge and saw a man on one knee on one side, and a woman crossing the bridge from the other side... We left abruptly after that, and hoped that our audio disturbance hadn't ruined the moment. Although, I'm pretty sure that the woman said, "yes." The last thing we did was a great break after our Biology final. We went to put air in the tires of Anna and I's "new" Honda Accord, and figured it out after the second try. (and the second dollar). Then we went over to the Organic Grounds for the last time. Ellie was still studying for her Psychology Final, but while looking through the book, she found a diagram that we could both relate to. "Look!" She said, "it's Jim's reaction to your Bio Report, and then Jim's reaction to My Bio Report!" (It was a picture of reactions, one with a tiger, and one with a kitten. Priceless.) Ellie gave me her Psychology book after she was done with her final, because she knew that I wanted to study Psych, just didn't get a chance this semester. She also gave me a couple awesome pairs of socks for Christmas, and a beautiful card with lots of insight, and I'm so glad that Ellie and I became friends. We made it through a car accident together, and have had many different talks about nearly everything. I will miss running with her next semester, as I will be in DC.
Bekah and I go way back. She was one of the first people that I spoke to when I was at Honors Weekend. Then this semester, Bekah and I randomly started hanging out. Ironically, I was on the first floor of Elmwood, and the girls bathroom was on the third and even though I live up there, I didn't want to walk up the two flights of stairs, so I walked over to Maplewood and used the girls bathroom on the first floor over there. I wasn't expecting to stop and go in, but my social attitude kicked in, and I did. (By the way, that was the first time I'd been in Maplewood.) And after that, we started talking in Ethics, after Ruling Ideas, eating dinner together occasionally, and on the way from Ruling Ideas to Chemistry Lab. Well, one Friday morning Bekah called me, while at work study. She hadn't babysat for several years, and that was the present task. So I came to her rescue. We got to spend a few hours together then, and watch a little African baby with a rather interesting belly button. After that, Bekah decided to take me to dinner to repay me. We decided to go to the Little Grill, which was nearby Our Community Place. The interesting thing that happened was that we didn't actually know where we were going. We guessed the entire way, but got there. (This is rather unlike the time which Marie, Wendy Huang, and I set out for Red Front and ended up at Roses, which I told Bekah about on our way, only to find that Our Community Place is directly beside Roses.) After that meal, we decided to start having a dinner out a couple more times this semester. Once, we ended up at the Bowl of Good, and then in Artisan's Hope, and she bought me a ring. Which I lost! But I still have the thought of the ring heavily on my mind. Bekah is one of my halves, and we are very similar and very different, and we get along quite spiffily.
Ahh, Stacy. If you have read this blog previously, you already know about Stacy and I. We are kind of opposite to each other, but good for one another either way. We've gone to Gift N Thrift a couple of times, and the clothes have never fitted so well. We have baked together, we've eaten together, and I think we've made each other laugh one million times. Stacy likes to come into the lounge when I'm practicing. Then when I see her come in, I get distracted, and start a good conversation instead of continuing to practice the piano. This is one of the ways that I know I wouldn't be a good Music Major. I wouldn't be able to focus on playing. Instead, I would want to work on my relationships more. Anyway, Stacy and I have built quite an awesome relationship, spending time with her in a car has never ceased from being productive. Stacy and I have enjoyed building gingerbread houses. (We didn't actually do this together). We like being spontaneous and having dance parties in the kitchen on Elmwood 3rd. Because she lives so close to where I live, Stacy and I are going to spend some time over break together, being crazy, playing guitars and making up silly songs. And maybe we'll go Christmas shopping. For ourselves.
I met my good friend Jamila through the Honors program, but I didn't expect that we'd have so much in common, or actually be tenth cousins for rizzle! I checked my great uncles family tree. It's really rather funny. But anyway, through the Honors program, we had to write a children's book about someone college aged that made a difference. I wrote about Jamila and her YES experience. In doing that I learned more about what YES offered. I hadn't heard a whole about it from Zach, but I guess that was probably because there wasn't much to know, because each experience is way different. That "interview" about YES was one of the first deep conversations I had with Jamila. After that, we braided hair together during the Homecoming Weekend. It was always enlightening for me to spend time with Jamila, because she had a different perspective than everyone else I spent time. I soon realized that part of this reason was because Jamila did the YES program. Starting in November, Jamila invited me to play on her indoor soccer team, the World Wide Wonders. I accepted with vigor, because indoor soccer is my passion. Then started a wonderful experience. We didn't win a game during the regular season. We tied one, but barely lost several of our games. Then enter post season. We were number nine--the last in the league, and we played our first tournament game, and we won. Still the lowest team "technically", but we won one... we kept playing, and we kept winning, and made it to the B league championship! This game we tied, went into the shootout, and the other team barely won. (of course, when we found out that half their team was on the A league championship team, we felt cheated, and a bit proud as well, because that meant we weren't that bad.) (at least #2 is solid. :P) Anyway, Jamila braided my hair this past week. She also told me about YES training, and we spent a good hour and a half, while my head was being transformed, talking about life and stuff. It was a good time. The last few weeks of the semester, I started eating meals with people who live in Maplewood, who, in my opinion are deeper than those who live in Cedarwood and Elmwood. (I think Elmwood is the most shallow of all the Woods Dorms). That's my biased opinion. And I lived in Elmwood. I was really glad that I spent time with people who built me up, and didn't leave me hanging.
My boyfriend was in training for YES from September to Thanksgiving break, and he left for Africa on the second of December. But while he was in training, I went to the first event, commissioning. There, I met his teammates and leaders with Deanna, and was introduced as his girlfriend, Grace. I visited again, this time, going to Chris and Katie's house to sleep, and visited HDC, and met everyone again, and they met me again. I visited again, once, just to see Chris and Katie and then right after Fall Break with Stacy. We actually got to work with them at a worksite, and eat lunch with them. Then when I finally came back for the end of training, everyone knew me as Grace. This was Zach's doing--he made sure that everyone referred to me as Grace, not "Zach's girlfriend." (that really meant a lot to me, even if he doesn't know that.)
I met several people with this present YES group. including the grandparents, and parents of Aaron, who I go to school with, and his sister (who is doing YES), Lauren. I'm not even participating in YES, and I am affected by the experience of it. This I highly appreciate.
Chris and Katie had a home only three hours away with two toddlers and Lydia welcoming me to their own different chaos than what I felt at EMU (which was a dreading oh-my-word-how much-work-do-I-still-have-to-do? type of feeling.) They let me have fun with their wonderful kids, and rest within their house. They also let me practice my piano for hours, until I memorized one song. Lydia had me type up a song that I had written, and insisted on learning and singing it for hours and hours one evening, so much so, we had some oooooo accompaniment by Chris.

These are the reasons I was EMU. To meet these people, to let them change me, and to help me grow in my faith, in my patience, and my person. There were so many other people who aren't even noted, that made a difference in my semester.

God is my greatest influence, my best resting place, and gave me the peace to make it through this semester. As of now, I have no idea what next year holds. But God does, and I trust God.
This is how I will listen. With trust, patience, and willingness for change, as it comes.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Rough Stuff: Predators and Boys who Mean Well (Online and Off)

I never thought I would have to write about this, because I tend to think that I have reliable boundaries and morals of which I follow unconsciously to avoid unwanted male contact. But it seems that it is unavoidable, with internet use being for so vastly for communicative purposes.

I had little knowledge of Skype, other than the option that it was a program that could be used for free phone calls to other countries, and it had video chat options. I'd used it for myself, between my parents and my friends for conversation and connections. A couple weekends ago, however, I was on Skype, and I noticed that you could change your "online status" to online, or away, or invisible, and also "Skype me!" I wasn't sure what that meant, so I switched it on, and then proceeded with my other internet communicative obligations (Facebook, Gmail, Blogger). Within minutes, I was being chatted with some random guy who I had never met or even heard of. Because I have learned to be careful about things like this--there are creepers alive and creeping out there, whether we like it or not--I bluntly asked this character "Who are you?"
You know it's a bad thing when they respond with their age and their gender, but don't give a name. I didn't continue the conversation after that, and when the character continued the conversations with, "can i see you?", I replied "no", and he responded "plz Im hard now", I exited the conversation, and blocked the character. Similar situations occured, each, now with an experienced eye, had little to no conversation, and several perverts were blocked.
By then, I realized that it was most likely the "skype me!" status. I discovered that it is synonymous with "Horny", and I reduced my online status back to just "online."
I was saddened by this, because suddenly all forms of communication have a dark side. Desperate people call for desperate measures. That or they are just too bored to realize how stupid they are being.
This has happened on Facebook as well, just not in such a heavy extent. It's usually a friend request or someone I've never heard of, and then, or course, I just ignore their friend request.
The difficult part is when it's someone who is actually a mutual friend of your friends, and so you assume they have some type of connection with you, and so you add them. But when they start sending vague messages, and start a Facebook chat with "How are you, sexy?", I took no dramatic pause to remove my friend connection with the character.
I refuse to be the butt of a group of people that try to get women to like them by telling them how beautiful they are, over the internet, nonetheless, to get them to give favors of some sort.
It makes me nauseous, essentially.
What disturbs me the most is when it's someone I have known before, as a friend. And as a friend, you have the free right to pass through their pictures, giggle at the funny pictures, and Like the beautiful ones. But it's disgusting when you come across PG-13 pictures, taken by themselves. I do not approve. Regardless of whatever seemingly righteous intentions said person had with their photography, it's still trashy, and rude to those of us who like a positive picture drawn when on the internet.
In real life, I hate it when guys whistle out of their cars at girls, or yell at them. I dislike it when it seems that a woman becomes a spectacle of choice that needs "serenading" (aka catcalls).
I hate that there are some upperclassmen that think that all freshman are naive, and that we would be interested in continuing a conversation with them, after their first intellectually deep thought-through statement: "Where you come from?" (when you are on the staircase, and it is obvious that you came from the floor above them).
And also the assumption that the girls dorms are all willing for partiers that aren't students to come into their dorms and have sex with them is a highly wrong assumption. Ugh. Some men never become men. It's really depressing.
This last paragraph is someone who has not offended me.
It is refreshing to be hit on by someone who just wants to watch a movie, Mamma Mia!, nonetheless, in the laundry room. There are no other sexual intentions, no obvious "I want you for your body, and how you can make me feel" moments, but rather, "I think you're smart, and I like your personality, and heck, you're kinda cute too" moments. Unfortunately for anyone who tries to pull this one with me, they will have no luck, because I'm busy. I have a prior (anything but!) obligation. This is one that I pray will make it through the African jungle, and make it all the way to the "I do" stage. But time is time, and God is God, so I'm gonna wait on him. and Him.
That's all I have to say about that.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Finest Draftus of My Personal Impact Paper

So this is the final draft, which I am actually turning in. Enjoy! Ask if you have questions.

Grace Engle

Personal Impact Project Paper

Awareness and “Taking Out” the Trash

The average American produces about 4.4 pounds of trash daily. Americans throw away 1200 pounds of compostable material each year. Almost 75% of the trash that Americans throw away is biodegradable (Recycling). When I set out to start my self-challenge, I had no idea that this was actually true. I felt like I was consistently aware of the need to recycle and that I wasn’t using the 4.4 pound of trash daily. I didn’t think that this was going to be that much of a challenge, although I did know that I was going to have to be changing some of my routines. I had no idea that this whole project was going to change my entire outlook on what I would go about doing with my time, my money, and my trash.

In the beginning, it was a bit more extreme than the rest of the challenge. At first, I had thought that I should not throw away anything. Thus, the first day I did not recycle or compost, but instead, used the paper I had no use for to make snowflakes and other interesting decorations for my dorm room. However, within that first day, I realized how time consuming it would be if I continued saving everything, and making crafts out of it all. I decided needed to be efficient with my time, as I am a student, so I changed the challenge, and I decided to save all of my trash. This included items I recycled, which I kept in my room, and composted, which I did not keep in my room, of that my roommate was rather thankful. I kept these things in my room as a reminder of what I was consuming.

After the challenge was changed, I made several rules. I decided not to use the paper napkins in the cafeteria, because although they are compostable, they aren’t necessary just for a little bit of food on ones face. The single time I did use napkins when I was doing this project was when there was a spill. In this case, they were necessary. This part of my project was reducing the need. I didn’t need to use napkins before, but I would, and did not recognize that I was using them. The same went for paper towels in the bathroom. Where the idea of convenience is welcomed in American society, it’s important to note that getting everything we want all the time makes the world even more unequal. This is fair to no one, and one of my goals was to make the world more equal.

Another rule I made for myself was to discover which types of plastics, glasses, and papers could be recycled in the Harrisonburg area, and then to reduce the amount of the other types of plastics and other materials that couldn’t be recycled that I used, as they would become trash. The plastic wrappings for granola bars and pretzels had to be reduced drastically, or an alternative had to be discovered, and I decided to switch from granola bars to old-fashioned oatmeal. This saved me not only the plastic wrappings, but also quite a bit of money. Eating oatmeal instead of granola bars also made me have to sit down and eat breakfast, wait for food to be ready, and not eat on the go. It was also an ultimate test to see if I was hungry or not, because oatmeal isn’t that much of a palette satisfying dish. Another goal was to reduce the amount of plastic cups, which are plastics #4 and 5, in my life, and avoid any type of disposable options, in general.

The first weekend was slightly rough, as I did some traveling to a family friend’s house, and they were using paper plates and paper napkins because their dishwasher was broken. So I did some dishes that weekend, and made sure that my banana peel and apple cores made it to the outside compost pile. Eating out always adds to the chaotic amount of garbage one consumes, so when Sunday lunch became a food court episode, I had to veer away from the Chinese options, which were being served on unrecyclable Styrofoam, which is plastic #6. The second option was Subway, although I wasn’t sure what I would do with the wax paper wrap and the plastic bag after the sandwich had been consumed. Luckily, when lunching with three-year-olds, a hat can be fashioned out of wax wraps, and for moms, plastic bags are useful for carrying around soiled diapers. So I escaped most of that trash, except for the Grande Starbucks House Roast cup of coffee that my weekend father bought me. Though for my growing coffee love, it was unfortunately contained in an insulated paper, thus unrecyclable cup with a Plastic #4 lid. So I had to hold onto it.

There were several times within my trash saving period that I had to travel, and more things tended to be consumed while I was traveling. When I went home for fall break, the people in out vehicle stopped at Quizno’s for supper, and Starbucks for a caffeine pick-me-up. Though I had packed myself a supper in the cafeteria, by the end of the trip, my trash bag had some granola bar wrappers while staying at home (I was given the option, and I chose granola bars over oatmeal). Some other unrecyclable things were given to me, like mail packaging (there was some mail at home waiting for me when I got home). The ending of the trip back to EMU was unfortunate, as we were in a car accident, and the next day I had to clean the car out. I had to add a good amount of trash to my bag, because there was trash that had been in the car since the previous May. I learned that when one travels, they accumulate more trash, and use more things in general. As Americans, we commute to work, and because of this, we take food in to-go packaging, and accumulate more trash because we take many different things. Because we are in such a hurry, to get from A to B, we end up throwing away everything that we had with us, regardless of whether we knew it was recyclable or not. It takes time to sort through the recyclable and unrecyclable.

Traveling brought many challenges to my plate, but when I told my weekend mom of the idea that I had for saving trash, said she’d seen a television show with a family with children that managed to only use a garbage bag full of trash a month, and also a family of two that only used a shopping bag sized bag of trash in a year. Of my research on saving trash, there were several examples that did the same thing as me, they saved their trash, but for a year at a time, or reduced their trash for a year. Ari Derfel, a Berkeley resident, and a Harvard Law School attendee, saved his trash, reducing as he went, and ended up with 96 cubic feet of trash within the year. Though he did this project from December 2006-December 2007, Ari continued to write for awareness on his blog saveyourtrash.typepad.com until early 2008. In San Francisco article, he noted that when he was little, he had wanted to be a Supreme Court justice to make a difference, but realized later on that it would be better for him to work on helping people one-on-one. So after his project had become public, when people would come up to him and tell him of the difference he’d made in their lives, nothing felt better (Zito, 2007). Ari Derfel donated his trash to an artist. By saving his trash for a year, he brought awareness to the city of San Fransisco. Now, according to an article written in June 2009, San Fransisco has the toughest recycling laws of the country (Cote, 2009).

Matthew and Waveney of Christchurch, New Zealand, who made a decision to go “Rubbish free” for the year of February 2008-February 2009. They used tactics such as reduce, reuse, and recycle, but they also established the idea of “rehoming.” Matthew and Waveney reduced by removing the extra plastic wrappings from their lives, including researching beforehand the plastic wrapping free locations where food could be bought with no plastic involved. They prepared for the project by removing all the things in their home that would cause them to have “rubbish” later on in the year. They replaced these things (such as batteries that were not rechargeable) with things that could be reused and wouldn’t cause waste. They reused as much as possible, by using the plastic #3 and #4 yogurt containers and cloth bags to get foods at the bulk food stores where they shopped. They recycled, of course, and went to some extreme extents to make sure that they could recycle their scrap metal, no matter if it were as small as paper clips and metal toothpaste tubes.

Lastly, Matthew and Waveney used the tactic of rehoming their items that they no longer needed or used, or risked putting in their rubbish bag, and tried to locate someone who would be willing to take it and use it themselves. I have depended on this tactic with my own project at some points. They also used composting, and they made an in-ground compost bucket in their backyard for all of their biodegradable needs. At the end of their year, Matthew and Waveney ended up with a shopping bag full of trash. But only a shopping bag! (http://www.rubbishfreeyear.co.nz/index.php)

After reading their entire blog, I felt overwhelmed, because there was so much more that I could do to make a difference in the amount of trash that I consumed, but as a college student, I neither had the resources nor the time to accomplish any of these things because I am a college student. I was motivated by the idea of rehoming, however, because it is something familiar to me. I have given bags and bags of things to people, or to the thrift store, but never thought much about the fact that I was saving the landfill a lot of space. In my opinion, donating things to a thrift store is almost like throwing them away, because you never have to worry about them, but it is essentially rehoming with a profit for a small (depending on the thrift store) business. It causes the items to be reused, and they aren’t put to waste. Rehoming is the idea that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I filled a large garbage bag with clothes and things from my dorm room, that I no longer needed to have. I decided I could survive with out them. I could survive without so much! This hit me like a truck. I was very glad that I’d reached this point.

When I reduced, I refused to use paper towels or napkins. I was disgusted with the idea of using disposable things when there were so many long lasting options for these disposable items. There are so many natural options for our processed American versions. I used less body wash and tooth paste, showered less, reduced the amount of clothes that I washed and the frequency of times that I washed the clothes. (Washing clothes too many times causes them to be worn out more quickly, so I was extending the longevity of my clothes). I reduced how much paper I printed off of my classes, and for nonassignment printing tried to make sure that I used paper that had already been used so that I wasn’t be unnecessary with the amount of paper that I used. Because each American uses an average of seven trees or 680 pounds of paper a year, I wanted to make a denton that number. I like trees. They give shade and green (J) and add calm to an atmosphere.

With my reusing, because I kept my recycling bin in my room, I reused more things. There were empty plastic bottles in it that stayed there a long time (even after I finished my rounds of saving trash). When I was thirsty, I reused these bottles. When I needed to write something down to remember it, I took a sheet of paper out the recycling bin and wrote the note down on it. I also reused the Starbucks cups that I received (or bought for myself), until they were misshapen, soggy, flimsy, and weren’t really doing their jobs anymore. Then they finally made it to the bag of trash. I also made a goal to get a to-go mug that I could use the next time that I got a hot coffee at Starbucks. This is how I feel we should be with every disposable item that we use. Because they are disposable we should use them until they have no other use but to be disposed of.

When I started this project, I made one of my goals to recycle everything that I had, within my capacity that was recyclable. This was one of the hardest things to do, because it is a habit to throw away paper. (In fact, it’s slightly fun to crumble it into a ball and see if you can make it into the trashcan across the room.) So my hardest adjustment was to make sure that I recycled all the paper that I came into contact with and had to dispose of. It was harder at first, because I would actually throw it away, then realize that I didn’t want to do that, and would have to take it back out of my trash and put it into my recycling bin. It became a lot easier to do when I removed my trashcan from my room (it became a container for recyclable plastic bags, and I couldn’t very well fill this with non-plastic bag items). The recycling bin became the priority for anything that I had with no longer any use for.

Because I was becoming so aware of what I needed to do to reduce my environmental impact, I wanted to make a difference on my hall. I put an extra cloth towel in each of the bathroom and one in the kitchen to promote the idea of not using the paper/disposable version. I also made a compost bucket for our hall, with the then almost-empty ice cream bucket that had been sitting in the freezer for the past month. (I finished the slightly freezer-burnt treat with great joy). I just put a label on the bucket, and then started to fill it with my own compost. I made colorful signs with different examples for what could be recycled, composted, thrown away, and a list of ways to reduce. There was previously a sign with the items listed that could be recycled, which was left up, but I also added my colorful one for those whose eyes tend to be more likely to look at pretty things, than yellow signs. These signs were mostly for the girls on my hall to become aware of what could be recycled and what should be thrown away. I think that it made them more aware of where their waste should go, but I’m not sure the signs made a difference, because I still saw pizza boxes in the recycling bin and coffee grounds in the trashcan. I’ve also had some oppression against the idea of using the cloth towels in the bathroom. The important thing for me was to get the ladies to be aware.

I felt it was also important to note that although Harrisonburg recycles plastics #1 and #2, they do not recycle plastics #3 and #4, which are commonly used in yogurt containers and butter tubs. This makes it harder for conscientious recyclers, who don’t want to fill the landfills with of everything they guiltily consume. There are also no local places to recycle lesser-used plastics #5 and #6, or any places to recycle Styrofoam nearby. The closest place is in Maryland, in a suburb of Washington D.C.

Thus, it would be rather difficult to try to live as a regular American does, and use the amount of plastic that an average American uses, and be able to conveniently recycle it locally. However, in Harrisonburg, one doesn’t have to go far to be able to get good natural, bulk, or local food—the Dayton Farmer’s Market offers food in bulk, though it is in plastic bags. The Harrisonburg Farmer’s Market also offers all local farmers’ own food for people to buy. With the local options of thrift stores to remove things without use, the large amount of people interested in living in intentional communities, and the easily accessible option of biking, there are many different ways that a person could accomplish living in Harrisonburg with a minimal trash diet.

With this project I realized how much I didn’t need, what I could live without. I became more aware of what the world had, and I felt I had too much in the world. In the devotional book, The Basic Trek, they talk about the ecological footprints of different cultures in the world. Americans have the biggest ecological footprints, being 30 acres per American. The average footprint in India is 3 acres per person. The average footprint in the entire world is 8 acres per person, and this takes up more than the world has to offer (Schrock-Shenk)! Americans would have to reduce to about 1/3 the amount of what they presently use.

My new goal with this project, even after my trash-saving episode was over, was to reduce the ecological footprint of myself. I use too much water, I eat too much food, and I cause too much fossil fuel go into the atmosphere. I don’t give back as much as I take, and I feel guilty about it. That is the hardest step—I have to find a balance of reducing and saving that I feel comfortable with so I don’t feel guilty about using so much that other people don’t have. I’d rather have less and not be as happy, if I knew that someone else had enough and was happy. But I am happy and I’m warm and comfortable. And though I should be happy, whenever I think about what the majority of the world is experiencing, what people I know are experiencing as they are doing outreach in Africa, Central America, in Europe, I cannot feel happy. I want to give and give and give of myself until there is nothing left of me to give. I cannot stay in this place with this unlimited amount of things, food, and warmth.

I do not find joy in wasting things that other people need, which happens in the dorm with the heat because it is an uncomfortable temperature all the time, so we have to open the windows to feel comfortable in the heat. I do not find joy in the idea that several girls on my hall cannot handle the idea of recycling paper, so they throw it in the trash. They contribute to the 75% of biodegradable and recyclable waste that is thrown away everyday, and cause the landfills to be 75% unnecessary. I know someone who chooses not to compost and recycle and is happy to not be a part of making the world a greener place. Matthew and Waveney had the same type of oppression while doing their projects. There were people who started doing “a rubbish bag a week” projects to replace the space of to their own “reducing” project. This is discouraging, and I feel the same way when people around me that I care about reject the idea of composting because it smells bad, recycling because it’s less convenient, or they reject the idea of reducing the amount of paper towels they use to dry their hands because wiping their hands on their pants is too much of a hassle. These are convenient, but so unneeded.

I feel that Americans are so used to convenience that we can’t embrace that having what we want all the time is making us universal brats, in the entire global scheme of things. However, just like with the Civil Rights movement, it cannot be just a change of habit. It also has to be a change of heart. This is something that I feel can be met with little steps in the right direction. If each American decided to have a reusable water bottle instead of insisting on using disposable water bottles (which in fact can and should be recycled), rather than using two million bottles every five minutes, there would only be 308,102,488 total used in the country, rather than 12,614,400,000,000. That’s twelve trillion water bottles per year, which is about how many dollars the United States government is in debt! Thus, little changes can make the biggest difference ever.

There are several things that I plan on continuing to do as I go with my post-project feelings. There’s no way that I can’t continue to recycle—it had become a habit that I plan on continuing as long as I am capable. Though sometimes my muscle memory in my arms tries to throw it in the trashcan that has been relocated back into my room, I make sure that it ends up in the right place. I try to reduce the amount of waste that I consume. I have started buying foods in bulk (cocoa powder, because I love to make my own hot chocolate), and I still walk out of the bathroom with wet hands if there is no other option, and leave the cafeteria with hands smelling like something I just ate because I didn’t want to use a napkin to clean up the little bit of a spill I made. I still only wash the clothes that are completely necessary to clean, as little as possible.

I have continued to reduce the amount of things that I have in my room, partly because I am moving out and I don’t need these things as much, by nature I’m a very messy person, and I realize as much as I think I’ll need them at some point, there is a very low possibility that I will actually need the things that I keep saying that I will need.

One of the biggest things that I have in my future, because of the partial impact of this project, is to be a participant in the YES program. Youth Evangelism Services (YES) is a program for young adults, ages 18-30, who get to do short term mission outreach programs. (www.emm.org) I have spoken to several people who have done the YES program within the last year, and also have spoken to some participants that are in the process of doing YES right now. I feel like it is a fit for me. When I went to visit the training center, because of my interest and my friends in the training, I felt called to be there and help and do. Doing is something I have been battling with since I have been on campus, because I have felt like I haven’t been able to help others and do as much as I need to since I have been here. Because I have this calling, I know that I will be able to experience the reduced ecological footprint by being in another country—I welcome it. I will get to live with reduced accessibility and less of everything in general. Then what I have here in America, when I come back, will not be taken for granted any longer, and I will be truly thankful for everything that I have here, and I will have experienced a reduced lifestyle. I will be able to continue to feel as if I have made a difference.

This project has truly opened my eyes to the path that I need to take with my life, and the steps that I need to take as I go. It has given me challenges, but more importantly, it has helped me grow mentally and spiritually, because of the indirect connections to my yearnings in life. Because of the simple idea of “taking out” the trash, I have changed my entire outlook on life, and what I will do with it. This project went from environmental impact to spiritual impact. I cannot wait to see where it will take me.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Send 'Em to Africa + Chemistry

It's the censored version of the card game Mafia. That's what they call it when you play it at Camp Luz. The "town" goes to sleep for the night, and the "nurse", the "police", the "detective", and the "mafia" try to determine who is saved, who, as "mafia", are killed, who the "mafia" are, and which towns person should be sent to Africa next. Because it's better to be sent to Africa than to be killed. Or the idea of killing people for fun in the game seems pointless, add that fact that it's played, out of boredom, at a Christian camp.
It was at this camp that Zach made the decision to do YES. It was at this Camp that so many people were "Sent to Africa" via the card game. But now he's going for real. He'll be there in two hours.
And he's more than ready.
I just wanted to be the "nurse" and save him from going to Africa.
But there's nothing wrong with Africa. This I know. And going there will only make him better. This I also know. I'm not worried. I'm just saddened by the lack of him here in America.
God was the "mafia". God Sent him to Africa. He's the starting gun, or in this case, the catalyst of the reaction. He was there for the entire reaction. He made it start to happen, and then left the "chemicals" to react as they may.
I'm one of those Spectator ions. I'm part of the reaction, but not in the final precipitate.
I'm okay with that.