What Does it all mean?

I decided that I wanted to do Social Work.
Now I'm itching to run away from making and sticking with that decision.
Agony.
This past weekend I played a song during the church service. Many people commented on the passion that drove the song.
The passion that drives my music.
That passion drives my life.
Sometimes the music is why I want to be.
Yet there is always the issue of the job being social enough.
I am extroverted; a talker. Playing the piano makes you face the instrument you play and you can't look at people that you are playing for.
For me, keyboards aren't the same. I want them to be, and sometimes they are great, but I don't get inspired as much from a keyboard.
But music brings so much out of me.
Every time I go to a concert of someone else, I want to do the same thing. I want to be on that stage and bare my soul to the crowd.
When I went back to Streetsboro, I told the band director that I was going to New YOrk for the summer, and she said, "Oh, as a free lance musician?"
As I told her that it was for a mission, her words still struck me.
And I still wonder if I'm on the right path.
Why can't I just decide that I'm going to do music, that I'm going to record instead of going to school or something. Maybe it would be worth it.
Again, it's the social aspect--Promising people I'm coming back to EMU--promising I'm rooming with Crystal.
But my mind is everywhere, and I've been all over the place when I'm going everywhere. I cannot decide.
Ahhh. I wish I wasn't a disappoint me to some--that they didn't miss me when I wasn't there, and that I could see them more often.
Am I just meant to be a Nomad, wandering, playing, being passionate, being more passionate, doing what I'm passionate about?
Lord Jesus, Here I am. Send me where I am to go!