Getting used to being a mommy

So Naisa is now two weeks and three days old.

The first two weeks were pretty difficult for us, losing sleep and breastfeeding woes, but we have begun to straighten things out. Naisa had to start supplementing with formula because she wasn't getting enough breastmilk from me, and was subsequently under birth weight at her two week appointment.

But once we started formula, it explained all the intense crying and the hungry after nursing for an hour. Now we have a calm baby who only cries when we don't give her food soon enough.

And my nipples are surviving. They were dreadfully sore from the first two weeks--and looked so bad that I'm just pumping right now to get them healed up so we can try breastfeeding again later. We're getting connected with WIC again because they have free lactation consultants (and free hospital-grade breast pumps), and we're also getting connected with Le Leche League. I would love to be able to breast feed Naisa, but that would have to involve her getting a good latch, which is the main reason for my atrocious nipples.

Ben is getting better at changing diapers. I'm enjoying carting Naisa around in my baby carrier and today we went for a walk. I'm also enjoying having Naisa sleep on my belly. She likes it because it's warm and it's Mommy. . . But I'm having trouble being patient with pumping. I have to do it often, because if I don't, my breasts leak like crazy, and my ducts get clogged. I'm also having trouble being patient with how much milk I'm getting out. I feel like I'm not getting enough and it won't be enough when Naisa does start breastfeeding again. If that happens. I hope it does, but at this point I'm trying not to think about the pain, and I'm hoping for a good latch. Naisa saw a baby chiropractor and he said she had some tension in her neck and jaw, but also that she had a lip tie and a sublingual tongue tie that may be an issue for breastfeeding. And if this is the case, it may be much more difficult to get back into it (especially because the solutions for the tongue and lip ties are a good bit more expensive than just removing tension).

So Ben and I are feeling a bit of the stress that comes with being new parents. And in addition to that, we are feeling the stress of finding a job after Ben graduates, and the stress of having homework when there are so many other tasks that need to happen and I can't do all of them, and it's hard to do some of them when I'm feeding Naisa and pumping so often. And finding time to just hang out.

We're doing okay. But we're also looking forward to when Naisa gets into a schedule with feedings and naptimes. And when she starts to smile and giggle. And walk. . . 

Naisa's Pre Birth and Birth Story!

I'm excited to announce that Ben and I's child has arrived!! Her name is Naisa (Nay-suh) Fern Delp. Naisa is derived from the Hebrew word "Nasa" (don't know the actual Hebrew lettering) and it means "The Lord forgives".  Ben was doing some intense Bible study a couple of weeks before our due date and found this word, told me about it, and we fell in love with the name. Then after that, I wanted to have a little girl, because I wanted to use that name. God knew that all along, from back in December when we conceived. :)


So Wednesday the 26th, we had our 41 week appointment with our midwife. I had hoped and hoped we wouldn't make it to this appointment, and we had a couple days where I thought that labor might be starting, but the contractions weren't intensifying, and stopped after a couple hours. And so the week of our due date, I walked everyday for almost an hour every day, to encourage labor to start.
But still no baby. So I kept walking--doing the same thing at the 41 week mark. But we still made it to that appointment.

I was emotionally ready to have that baby! I was sick of questions and ready to have answers! I was swollen (retaining water), my blood pressure was up a bit, but the baby was moving an measuring well, so I was happy. But because we were 41 weeks and a couple days, it was routine to have a biophysical profile done. It's an extensive ultrasound done for various reasons to make sure your baby is alright.  So we had one scheduled for that Friday.

Misty, our midwife, gave us some recommendations for natural induction of labor--homeopathics were recommended. So we went to Kate's Natural Products and found the little vials. One was homeopathic blue cohosh, and one black cohosh. The little vials are the size of chapsticks and contain little sugar pills that supposedly contain those two herbs. But you can't taste it. At all. So my prescription was to take two sugar pills of one at hour intervals. One at the :00, and the other at :30. So the next morning I started taking these sugar pills. And then went about my daily tasks. . . getting groceries, taking out the trash, washing dishes, figuring out Medicaid stuff for baby, made granola,  hanging out with friends (I walked with Bridgett that day, to Food Lion), and I stopped taking them when we went to bed that night. I didn't feel any different. During the day, I'd had a few contractions, but nothing exciting, and during my walk, I just had the tightening that I normally had from walks.

We went to bed around 10 pm, thoroughly convinced that I spent a day taking sugar pills for nothing, and preparing to go to Charlottesville for the biophysical profile in the morning.
Then at 2:30 am, I woke up because I was feeling pressure like I had to poop. So I went and tried to do that for a little bit, but didn't have any luck, and I moved onto the couch because that's how I normally would finish the night. But I couldn't fall asleep--every so often I would feel that same pressure, now feeling more like period cramps (but more intense) with added pressure, and I knew that this was the beginning of labor--real labor. I decided to wait a little bit to wake up Ben, didn't want him to be too tired, if this, in fact, was not real labor again. But at 3am I woke him up, telling him that I felt like it was starting.

So he got up with me and encouraged me along in the labor, which contractions were getting more intense and closer together. We called our midwife, and she said we'd probably have this baby Friday night or Saturday morning, and I was discouraged about that, because I felt like I was in a great deal of pain already, and how could I continue to labor like this for 22 more hours?? But she said to call again at 7am, so we labored until then. During that time, we ate, drank lots of water, and I deep-breathed through the first contractions and then moaned and groaned through the more challenging ones. They were getting more intense, and so when we called Misty again at 7, she said come in at 9.

So we waited, and counted, and I puked up some of my water and food. It was agony. I started peeking at the time to see how much longer until we would leave, and found myself having more contractions in ten minutes than I had been having before. Time s-l-o-w-e-d and it was killing me. But we made it to 9am, and got in the car and drove to the birthing center. The drive also felt like it took forever, because my contractions were so intense.

When we got there, Misty was just arriving as well, and she had me \ sit down in her office/ the exam room. She took my blood pressure (had to wait for a contraction to pass), my temperature, and maybe my pulse. The student nurse, Meredith, arrived and they started setting up the birthing room, and filling up the tub. my contractions felt the worst and most intense while I was sitting down--especially when I tried to pee in a cup--there was so much pressure going on.

Once the got the bed set up, I reclined on it and Misty checked my dilation, and was surprised to say that I was 8 or 9 cm dilated. She could feel the bag of waters bulging and with that, I got into the tub--the water covered my belly up to my chest, took away so much pressure, and made contractions more bearable. Not that bearable was that comfortable, we were going through transition shortly after I got in the tub. Misty was explaining to Ben what would happen when my body started to get into pushing stage right about when we got in the tub and it seemed just a few contractions after that, I started pushing, I can't really describe this feeling so well--mostly that there was so much pressure on everything down there and I wanted to move that pressure off! so I pushed!

I would take a break between each contraction, and Misty or Meredith would check the baby's heart rate on the sonogram. Her heart rate was fine, there wasn't any complications, and labor was really progressing quickly. at one point, Meredith asked me if I would like something to drink, and I said something along the lines of, "I'll have water when this baby is out."

I must gave been pushing for twenty minutes (I really have no idea about time), and I asked how we were doing, and they said things were moving right along--couldn't see the head yet, but it was in its way. At this point, I was pushing while leaning forward on the edge on the tub, and Ben was sitting in the edge behind me. I was 'vocalizing' a lot (low-pitched screams/groans, anyone?) and continued to do so until Misty suggested it would be more productive if I left more air in my lungs to push the diaphragm on the uterus. And then they suggested to try a different position, so I leaned back on Ben's legs and wrapped my arms around his knees and held his hands, and then let my belly, hips, and legs be supported by the water. We found that this was a much more productive position to push in, and soon they could see the head, and were commenting on how much hair there was. :)

At one point I reached down to feel and I felt the hair, and the head coming out in a point. Did you know that's how the head first presents itself? But by the time the baby is all the way out, those bones reshape again. Crazy. Totally God-created. Well I kept pushing and soon the head was crowning. I was super shaky from all the effort I was putting into each push, but it was worth every push. My motivation was meeting this baby, and I was prepared to push through the pain to do that. One of the things that I learned during my research is that the point where the woman thinks, "this is too much, I can't do this anymore" is the point where you have to push harder. So the entire labor, I had this in the back of my mind, and was doing my best to bear the pain and push through it as needed. During pushing, I must have reached that point. Not the "I can't do this anymore" feeling, but the "I need to push through this pain" feeling. There was so much pressure, though, that I was prepared to push her out no matter how much pain I felt. I was ready to meet her.


I remember feeling the "ring of fire" (down down down in the burning ring of fire) and saying so ("Oh, There's the ring of fire.") and soon Naisa's head was out. I asked if the cord was around her neck, but there wasn't enough give to take it off then, so she waited until I had pushed her out completely. I pushed maybe a couple more times, and I felt her body slip out. That was pretty bizarre feeling, and I felt a great release of pressure.

Then Misty handed her to me. My first words afterward were, "We have a child!", in disbelief that this little person had been growing inside of me for nine months and a week or two, and was ours, seemed huge (and long) in comparison to my belly, and (at that point) was still attached to me. I took her in my arms and put her against my chest and then remembered we had one more surprise--so I lifted her out of the water and saw that she was a girl! :) Ben and I were so excited, and we started calling her Naisa right away. We tried breastfeeding right away but she had trouble latching on to my flat nipples. I was going to birth the placenta in the tub, but wasn't really feeling any contractions, so we got out of the tub--we had to do a good bit of maneuvering to get out--Naisa still attached to me, and I was still bleeding a little. Once we got out of the tub and back on the bed (which was already lined with several absorbent pads for me to sit on), we decided to cut the cord. Ben got to do it, while Misty instructed him.  Misty did a little kneading on my uterus (if you are prepared for it, its not that uncomfortable), and I birthed the placenta (Misty said it was rather large. They didn't weigh it, but she thought it was at least three pounds.), and she also removed the rest of the membranes and I had to cough to assist with that. it's much harder to cough than you might think after giving birth-- you contract your pelvic floor when you cough, and mine was all worn out. I was still pretty shaky at this point, and my lovely husband was bringing me lots of water and snacks.

Misty then checked to see if I tore. She said I did, but only a little and it didn't need stitches. :) Yay me. Misty did the newborn exam around 1pm, and Naisa was 9lbs 3oz! Bigger than I expected to push out, but I was very proud of myself. :) Her head measured 12 and 3/4 inches, her chest 14 1/4 inches. :)

Misty had to take some of the blood from the cord/placenta to get it tested for the blood type because I'm Rh negative. We didn't know what Ben's blood type was because he doesn't like needles. So we were prepared (with a prescription) to get the Rhogam shot after birth, but not excited about it at all.ut when the midwives tested the blood, they saw it was negative and when they sent it to the hospital, it came back O negative. so I didn't have to get a shot in my butt (and that saved me a long wait at the hospital to get it done, as well.)

My labor and birth experience was great for many reasons. I really didn't feel the need to time my contractions consistently because I knew that this labor was real--it felt different (more painful) than the other times. It was intense enough that I knew it was the real thing. I didn't worry about being dilated in the weeks before she was born, where some practitioners might routinely check their patients for dilation in the weeks before birth, Misty didn't. Being dilated, but not in active labor at 40 weeks (or 41!) doesn't really do anything but add to the anticipation. Misty hypothesized that I probably dilated a centimeter each of those times I thought I was in labor--practice/preparation labor. But we didn't know, and just because I might have been dilated didn't mean labor would start soon or not. That's the mystery of labor. It starts when my body signals it to, not because I ate spicy food, or walked a lot, though those things helped prepare my body for labor (ok, probably not the spicy food).

And once we got in the tub, after I was checked once, I didn't need to be checked for certainty that I was 10 cm dilated before I could start pushing--I started feeling the urge and could go with it. Then after it was over, there wasn't a rush to get out of the tub, time got to melt away while we spent our first hours together. Naisa's cord was cut after it stopped pulsing (probably a half and hour to forty five minutes later) and I delivered the placenta with her in my arms. Then she had her newborn exam two hours later. We only had to stay until I peed once and we got instructions for leaving. So we were on our way home with Naisa around 3pm that same day.