You are GOD ALONE

As I was walking beside the ocean today, breathing in the moist air, collecting shells, praying for patience with an unwelcome cold, the lyrics of this song rang true for me. As the waves, even the small ones, as the surf crashed over my feet,
"You are not a God created by human hands.
You are not a God dependent on any mortal man.
You are not a God in need of anything we can give.
You are God, that's just the way it is."

Not a God in need of anything we can give. But God is God, and does want us, and does protect us.

"You are God alone, from before time began,
You were on your throne, you were God alone.
And right now, in the good times and bad,
You are on Your throne, you are God alone."

And the wind wrapped around me,beautiful shells stood out to me as a walked along the sand,
I dodged one live jelly fish in exchange for an especially beautiful shell. And I kept breathing, and thanked God for his speaking through the ocean.

More Reflections on the Ocean

The connection of waves, and the molecule that make the ocean.
1) It takes several ripples to make a wave, and Many Many more molecules to create the ripples. The more ripples and the long distance to take them, the bigger the impact. And with more energy. God is the driving fore, and we are but wee ripples in the water, but together, God uses the ripples to create an impact upon the sand. And the more of us on the same page, we can make a greater impact, as the driving force of the waves permit. This is a reminder of what God can do with people in unity
2) sand needs to be moist with the Water of Life to be moldable.To be shaped for the will and work of God. Otherwise it falls apart at any notion of attempted shaping. It fills in holes of work that were being dug. There is a need for lots, and many to build a kingdom with God's Will.
3) Sometimes the ocean is frustrating. It dunks you, flips you about, and you get salt water in your mouth. Sometimes it makes you feel uncomfortable, nervous, afraid, feeling uncertain about getting back to shore. Sometimes we rejoice in the ocean, a cooling breeze, and we jump through the ocean, feeling the power of the ocean, and enjoy the surf watering our feet.
As the waves stay the same, always tumbling, moving in a direction, in and out, in a circle, a cycle. The tide comes in and goes out, removing foot steps taken the day before.
4) Watching the sunrise teaches me a lot about the timing of God. You can't slow down or pseed up the sunrise. We can't rewind and replay. And we have to watch the entire time, or we miss something.
You have to be patient. You never know what to expect, and it's sometimes not what you did expect. But it is what it is. It's beautiful no matter what, and if you take the time to listen, it will speak to you. Each sunrise is a painting and glimpse of God's glory, and they are different every day, so keep watching, listening, reflecting. Don't forget to reflect.

Sand

I'm taking a vacation with my family at Cape Hatteras, in the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and I was recognizing the significance of sand, in the circumstance of Go promising Abraham that his descendants would be more abundant than the grains of sand on the earth. Phew. That's uncomfortable.

I say uncomfortable because with the beach comes sand, sand in your hair, sand on your feet, sand in every crevice of your body. And for those of us with more crevices, this gets a little unreasonable to have to rinse off every time we come back to the campsite from the beach. It gets a little annoying, you know what I'm saying?

Th point is, those little Israelites were going to prosper, and there was nothing that was stopping them. They weaseled there way into a lot of good deals, and out of bad deals because they were prosperous (and sometimes into bad deals, like slavery) But that didn't stop them. They still burrowed their way into those little nooks and crannies.

The truth is, we annoy God sometimes, like sand sometimes annoys me at the beach. But the great thing to notice is that sand is moldable. God can form sand into something beautiful--sandcastles, sculptures, and even glass. Whenever people walk through sand, they imprint their foot print upon it. This is beautiful and unique, but it also blemishes the perfect smoothness of the sand that the ocean just created. But God takes those imperfections, and just like a wave of ocean, washes away the blemishes from us.

God erodes away, reshaping our intentions for good. He buries our sins in the sand, in the patterns of his plan painted with the shells, seaweed and sand. God makes things grow out of sand.

God-Water Song

I've been contemplating this one since April. It's been a hot topic since I had a great analogy about how God is like water to humans and the earth! We need it every day to keep living. We breathe it in, we drink it in, we bathe in it, we thank God for the rain. So here it is, or part of it thus far

Pour your unending love upon me
Let the peace flowing from your streams surround me
Your fountain soaks my soul
You make me expand so that I am whole

You are The waterfall
Raining down all around me, cleansing
My walls are falling down
Eroding my false identity
TO make me who you want me to be

You are always around me
I breathe you in,
You fill me with life
The water of life
Without Your mercy I'm cracked and cry
You are all-knowing
You fill the shape of who your working in,
You erode, replenish, build
To fulfill your will

You're my oasis in this desert
You give me energy, you are cooling, relaxing, sweet
May your will hydrate me to keep
Living in this humanity

You take away the shame
I will dance in your rain
You wash away my stain
I will dance in your rain!
You take away my pain
I will dance in your rain
Even when I fall again
I will dance in your rain!

Obsession

I have my share of obsessions. I realize that these come out more when I am more bored and have less to do. Piercing obsession. I'm thinking about getting something else done! I don't know why, but this always happens. Maybe I'll get something in my ear done. Not my lip, not my eyebrow (but OH SO TEMPTING!)Ha! You can totally tell I'm obsessed. It has something to do with curiosity, a little masochism, and also getting attention.
But I have good obsessions. and these are linked to the knowledge that I have found peace within me. Reading, journaling and discussing God's word. Making it a contemplation, meditation, and realization. Also, my obsession with piano, music, writing music. (Every time I see a piano, I want to play it)
But the balance of it all is that I have people to balance me out. When I have others around me, they regulate my obsessions, so I'm not so tempted to get a piercing (unless they are egging me on), and they encourgae me to pursue what God has made a gift in me. And this is holy in itself.
I'm not so obsessed that God cannot work in me, and I recognize that i can sometimes be weakened in my faith in God when I obsess, I worry, and I over think. So here's to giving God obessions.

My only desire is to obsess and give all I can be to God, and listen to God's will!

All things Grace (and where they came from)

I am an Engle. This means I like to say the word, "poop" and then giggle, don't care about people farting around me, give the middle finger to my parents, and have a good sense of humor. this also means that I am stubborn, have big hips, and a tiny nose. Being an Engle also means I like to be strong, independent, assertive, and have occasional pack rat tendencies. I
I am descended from an Epp (my mom's side of the family). From them, I inherited thick fingers (they are thick! though my ring finger is a size 6, my hands are tiny!), big eyes, a small chest, a bout of shyness from the age of 2 through the age of 13. I had a farm girl's appetite which was inhibited enough in middle school to lose forty five pounds on Weight Watchers. Mom got me into crafts, art, knitting, and sewing (when I was little).
From both sides of the family, I inherited frugality and musicianship. I would go grocery shopping with my dad, and learned how to find the cheapest thing (and sometimes that meant to go to two different stores). Mom taught me to look through the coupons in the paper. We didn't have cable TV until I graduated, or a cell phone until I was 18. My parents got me into shopping at thrift stores and I love he random things I can find there, as well as the great deals for things I would never buy in normal stores. My mother taught me to play the piano (in the beginning). My dad taught me to sing with my gut (not directly. But you follow the example of those you are around).
I am goal driven. I don't know where this comes from exactly, but it has something to do with my stubbornness, and my high expectation for my self of achieving. I used to make goal posters for myself, and put them on my wall. Now, I have lots less goals, don't have them all written down, but I have conceptualized and realized them.

I'm making a CD

This has been something I have been putting off for a long time.
I haven't been ready to do this ever before. My life now has the stability that is necessary for me to work toward this. Plus, my writing abilities have blossomed. God is consistently in my writing now. :) Which is great, so I don't have anymore compartmentalization issues.

But here's the plan-o. This Friday is my first recording session. I'm over excited. Today I created my CD cover, a collaboration of a talented photographer friend (Bridgie) and some crayons later, and I have the most "Grace" CD cover that ever existed.

This is inner beauty. Heck yes. There is so much truth in everything about this CD so I'm so excited.