Okay, so it's reflection time. Partially because I have to write a reflection journal (yep one more journal) for my seminar class, and partially because it's good and healthy to reflect on different parts of one's life. I do it regularly, as you have read, I'm sure.
Reflections
On Washington D.C
So from my experience in D.C., most were positive. I loved being where everyone was, seeing all the dreadlocks, meeting two or three new people everyday, and learning about different perspectives. I was challenged and blessed with so many people in D.C. Some of these people were in my house, some were those that I worked with--but everyone was wonderful to spend time with and grow from. I have found a place for myself in the city. I can understand different things, I'm less likely to stereotype, and I'm less likely to worry. I think that after being in Brookland, and walking home from the Metro whether in the dark or in the day, being in and out of two high schools with very different perspectives almost everyday, and spending time with the youth of the city at Garrison Elementary school, I can be prepared for anything--less a language barrier, which I'm certain to be approaching in my time in NYC this summer. I'm looking forward to that. D.C. has made me realize issues that matter to me, and what justice I want to work for in my life--and be proactive about.
On working with Colman McCarthy
It's not like I went to bed early every night because I was looking forward to spending time with Colman, but I was looking forward to some aspect of my internship, because I went to it and learned something. The first thing I learned is that fame is relative. Not that Colman is famous, but there are many people who put those who are well known on pedestal and make them seem bigger than they really are. And Colman, well, he's just the feisty grandpa type, with some exceptions. It's not very often you find a grandpa that eats a vegan diet--most are known for coming to grandma's house for the good stuff. Colman also bikes just about everywhere. If I had to categorize him, he'd be a hippie that never quit 'hipping' with out the artificial stimulants that most hippies participated in. The truth is, hippies where almost after his time, and are definitely in the past now.. So I think he's just Colman McCarthy. I don't think there is another seventy-one year old like him.
Being in a consistent environment where I was always hearing ideas being argued and discussed with different sides at all times, and hearing about new issues every time I was located at my internship was really quite a burden at some points. There were days when I'd come home from work and be pissed off at the world, the American government, corporations, etc. But there were good solid people who reminded me that all governments have issues, as we are people, and that we can make a difference in our own government--we are lucky. Many other people all around the world have no say in what their government does. I was affected by the issues that were discussed--just hearing the beneficiaries and the people who were screwed over by many issues--with animal rights--the slaughterhouse workers, with the war--veterans with PTSD, with competition for jobs--people getting laid off.
Physically, I decided to go vegan--I was feeling the pull of guilt of eating dairy products because drinking milk promotes veal production, and I do not approve of that. I know that I wouldn't want to be stuck in a prison where I couldn't turn around, and living in my own poop, so why should I use products that advocate for that? I also watched Sweeney Todd with a good friend of mine, and was completely disgusted with the death in the movie, and though it was Hollywood, I couldn't get the gross pictures out of my head. I would rather not think about death that way, and seeing a hamburger or a chickent breast made me recognize that these were once living, breathing things. So I decided to not eat that anymore.
Morally, I was affected by the continual idea that there is a lot of injustice in the wars around the world, past and present, and it made me angry--about many things. Why wasn't I educated on the School of Americas in high school? Why doesn't the fact that America is allies with many dictatorships get talked about more often? Why haven't the land mines all over the world be taken care of already? How come I never knew that Bin Laden was Saudia Arabian, was an ally of the U.S, and warned the U.S that they would attack us if we didn't remove our military base from their country? Why doesn't the United States just change it's foreign policy and have the army do humanitarian things like the army in New Zealand?
It never ceases to amaze me how easy these things would be.
On living in the WCSC house
Ahh, where do I begin? So many good things happened! I got to know everyone in the house at different times! There were just enough people to spend a little time with everyone. Christa and I would go to CVS and to YES and buy food and things for the house, think about playing soccer and just talk about life! She also lent me her H crochet hook, and I've never been the same since! Once I figured out most of everyone's personalities, I could joke with them, and hope that they wouldn't think I was being serious. Jasmine and I had some great conversation--between talking frankly about feeling depressed, and her telling me to go to bed on time, we had some bonding time when we were sun bathing (although I never actually looked like I got any serious sun). Corrie and I had some good cookings days--we made ravioli and spontaneous lack of recipe meals that were still awesome. We went on car rides to the store and sang loudly in the car. She came with me to get my nose pierced. We had some good talking time between that one random trip to Harrisonburg and some other times that we were just driving all over D.C... Jessica and I beasted out some pretty fantastical music. Though it became less and less as the semester went on, we both had a good comradeship and we were quite hilarious together. Bry and I had some sets of jokes, Sanj and I would bake together and make crack coffee, Andrew and I had some good times walking to the metro those last few weeks. Fets and I--we were close--I nodded to him as he passed my room to go to his, and he'd nod back.. no really we were bffs. Lindsay and I went to volleyball together. We saw movies together. We went tangoing together. And all the walking and talking in between. As a house, we weren't completely dysfunctional. Everyone had different personalities and we got used to those. Even though in the end some of the grocery money was spent on honey buns, I still loved those guys. They did a great job. Though there were some interesting issues, like alcohol, and a little bit of senior apathy, I still felt like it was a good semester, and I grew in myself and in my friendships with others. I also got to know Emily, one of the directors. She and I went contradancing together, dumpster diving, I went to help serve food at the homeless outreach she worked for, we talked about out lives, we comtemplated going running, we gardened and moved compost and poop and made a flowerbed, I helped make salad and curried veggies at her dinner party, we played songs that we each had written --it was a blast and I had so much fun. This semester I knitted two blankets and started on a bag.
On deciding what I want to major in at EMU
I finally decided what I wanted to do with my college career. For so long, I thought that I was just going to get my liberal arts degree and graduate next year. But as I kept thinking about it--it felt insufficient for what I wanted to do for the world and just graduating to get the degree seemed silly and not right. So Social Work, something I had contemplated since I had been in the house with two Social Work seniors doing their practicums, became a thought once more. I discussed it with some wise souls that i lived with and they helped me see what it was that I really wanted to do. There was also a moment over spring break when I was at the Epp's house when I saw what could be done to help kids who are parents be good parents so that their kids, when they are old enough, make good decisions, and at least, if they do have kids, can be good parents as well. And I was driven by that. I want to give back. I have been so blessed by growing up in a good home and with parents who love me and care for me all the time. And it works with people, and it works with kids too!
On being hit on one million times
I learned that wearing my hair down has an effect on the male population. I learned how to weasel my way out of those conversations, to freak the creepers out ("what? You're only nineteen?!") how to strike back ("hey sweetheart, do you have a pen" "My name is Grace, and no I don't have a pen."). I know that walking with a guy can protect me from that most of the time, but there will be times when it won't ("She's got a butt"). I learned that there are guys out there who will find me attractive when I'm wearing no makeup, my glasses, my hair up, in sweatpants, a big T-shirt and a sports bra, and there is nothing I can do about it. So in conclusion, there is nothing I can do to make them stop. But I can be an intelligent woman in response, quick with my words, and not let them get to me. I will respond.
Overall, I love being in an urban setting. There's a lot that i like. And when I can take my retreats back to Wauseon or to Amishland Ohio, I am content with the silence as well. I guess there will be a time when I might have both in my life.
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