Issues With Being Normal

I just had a spontaneous thought that I should go bald.
And my reasoning isn't purely that I'm sick of having hair on my head.
I have a constant drive to be different from your average person. An average person, for me, is someone who went to high school, then made it to college, figured out their major, and is completely satisfied with being in the workforce in a couple years, or semesters. Someone who is content on being in college is normal.
I, however, am not normal.
I don't like violent movies. In fact, a facebook friend posted a note of a craigslist post about a man that was almost mugged, but instead had a gun, and then essentially mugged the mugger, and then ruined his life, by breaking his windshield, buying 150 gallons of gas on his credit card, and calling the FBI on his cell phone. Some people find this funny. I find it disgusting, and heart wrenching. Maybe that man needed fifty bucks, and this guy ruined his life.
I can't stand being less. I want to be the best, or the fastest, or the most skilled. What's wrong with me? I'm an empathizer, but I want to be better than everyone else. I knit fast because I want to finish first. That, and I am very impatient.
Being super competitive can be a great thing, but I have yet to see it pull through and do something good now. When I was in seventh grade, and did Weight Watchers, then it was good. I had the drive and the goal, and I finished. Now, I'm all over the place, and I can't make up my mind about a goal, and I don't have the patience to wait for the good things.
Normal people wait to go to college until after college. Hence why I am not normal. This was caused by my super-competitive side and my need to be better than my peers. There are good things that have come of this--I'm now almost a senior in college--I will be one credit short when I finish this semester, and if possible, I'm hoping to get a bit of credit for being a part of GO this summer and acheiving a senior status. Not that it's most important, but it would take a huge load off of my back in the aspect of not having to take over eighteen hours one of those semesters.
Again with being anti-normal, I would like to graduate from college next year. Because of the lack of structure with the classes that I took at Akron University, and then the lack of knowing what I wanted to major in, I am planning on graduating with a Liberal Arts degree. I'm taking classes (now, anyway) that I enjoy and want to learn more about, rather than classes in a Major that I thought I would enjoy.
It is kind of sad that I couldn't handle the Biology major, but I just didn't have enough interest in the subject to continue. What's even more sad is that within my Music Minor, I was hating to practice and never feeling good enough, so I couldn't do what I wanted to do. I learned that music isn't something I can major in and still enjoy.
Anyway, so because I want to be different than everyone, a lot of the time, people don't understand me. I'm lucky that I have found a group of friends at EMU, when I'm actually there, who take the time to listen to what I have to say, and understand me. At the beginning, I was spending time with a group of people who were fun to be around, but weren't serious. I didn't realize it was hard for me until it was the end of the semester, I was actually getting work done, but I was connecting with other people who I felt like I was good friends with, in a deeper sense. Though there were a few in the old group of friends that I could still get along with well and understand, it was this new group of friends in Maplewood that I was learning from and finding accountability with.
I'm not sure what the last paragraph has anything to do with me being different.
But somehow I'm here, in DC. I'm the youngest person here.
Again with the competitiveness. Although my original reasoning for being here had nothing to do with that. I was struggling with being at EMU. Though it's a great community of wonderful people, I felt like I was running in place and I really wanted to DO something. So I applied for YES and the WCSC program.
So I'm here. In DC. And I'm a striver. I guess. A driver on steroids. To a point.
I do the readings. I journal, because I like to write. I blog because I like to write.
I cook because I like to cook and take pictures because I think things are pretty. Although I get annoyed when everyone on facebook posts pictures of the epic snow. Yes, it snowed. I know. I can look out the window and see it. If you make something of the snow, please post a picture. I'd love that.
How else am I not normal? My internship is different than everyone else's. Everyone else actually goes to the address of their internship. I go to high school again. Soon, I'll be going back to elementary school.
Yet I don't want to be a teacher. I learn more from the people I meet on the streets than in the seminar class we are taking with this program. I feel like I help more people in the random meets on the street than what I'm actually here for. Although I do relate to high schoolers pretty well.
I'm not working at Camp this summer. It's the best experience I've ever had, yet this year, t was time to move on. Because God provided this option of being in Queens, and I'm loving living in the city lately.

However, with all this, I'm thankful that I am unique, that there is not another Grace Engle, that everyone looks at me and says, "You know, you remind me of someone."

Not that any of this made sense, it's not really for understanding.
There was a prerequisite of a conversation that only my mother and I had.
So if you don't understand, then it's completely normal.
Sorry, Mom, you aren't normal.