Saturday, January 16, 2010

Dumpster Diving and Contra dancing


My Friday was hopelessly boring. Having no internship meant that I had a night before to stay up for no reason, a morning after to sleep in, and time to kill. Did I want to kill it, or what?
I woke up several times, but convinced myself to go back to sleep, then finally got up at ten thirty, and I read the paper, realized there were cool pictures in the paper, took the old papers out of the recycling bin, searched through them for good pictures, cut out the good pictures, rinse, spin, repeat. Andrew was home as well, he didn't have his internship either, and he made the grocery list on Excel, cleaned the basement, and other random parts of the house while we were just hanging. At one point, he went upstairs, grabbed his hoodie, and declared that he was going out. Never left. It's hard to decide what to do if you aren't comfortable with the neighborhood.
Around twelve I got a text from Lindsay, who is our petty cash manager, telling me that if I get the list of kitchen supplies that we need ready, we can get it okayed by Kim and then get it when we got grocery shopping. I had no idea where to start, so I took everything out of its spot and put it on the counters, island, and table. Once I got to the lid-to-pot stage, I snagged a very willing Andrew to help sort. There ended up being seven lids that didn't have pots. What the heck?
There were also countless appliances that I had no idea we had, nor thought that the house would ever need--my favorite was the cappiccino maker, but we also had an electric wok, a coffee grinder, and so much more! Once we got through what we needed and what we didn't need, the duty was putting it back into the cabinets. The pots which were on top of the fridge were located into a cabinet with the level of shelf moved. Yay for no more ugly storage!
The box of extra lids, and excess cutting boards (unless the entire house is willing to cut up whatever is being made into dinner, I don't think there will ever be a need for seven cutting boards...), and whatever else excess that made no sense to be left around was rounded up into a big box and put in the back of the house car, for delivery to the intentional community or the thrift store.
After that process, which took a couple hours, Emily and I somehow convinced Andrew to come Contra dancing. The idea that it was basic pulled him in; even though I knew the original reason for him coming was to go dumpster diving. Emily described it as a controlled walk, and though I'd never been, helped with the mini lesson that insued at Mai Tri (an intentional Community; pronounced "My Tree"). Andrew, Emily, and I ate supper at the intentional community house. That was a great experience in itself. They had a tomato quinoa (which I've learned pronounced KWIN OH a, and Emily pronounces KWEEN i WA), some delicious banana muffins, and this cheese pizza that parts of it I was unsure of. The meal was scrumptious nonetheless, and the presence of nutritional yeast at the table, and the absence of a meaty main dish gave away the vegetarianism at the table.
I talked with them about my internship and peace studies, as uninformed as I am, and one of the younger guys wanted to hear about my experience after it was over, as he was working on lobbying that educators be required to teach peace studies in secondary school.
The contra dancing lesson was very informing--it's similar to square dancing, and eye contact is a big part of it, and as Ryan (or Bryan) described, it's a way "to bring touch back into our lives."
Then we drove back to Emily's house, met her roommate Kendra, who Emily invited to contra dancing, who came, and was very nice and fun. While at their house, I learned that Emily and her roommates are all pianists (! :D) and have a grand piano in the basement, which I located and played (although we could not locate and turn on the light switch) while we were waiting for Emily to change.
We drove over to the place where the contra dancing was located. It was in an old old amusement park, called Glen Echo, in the ballroom. We arrived a little late, paid our way, and I got a pin that said, "I'm a New Dancer." We watched for the first dance, then hopped right in. My first partner's name was Tom, as his name-pin said, and he helped me through the first song. It was a lot of fun. I had so many partners, but I suppose everyone does in contra dancing. I can almost remember all their names, but not quite. After Tom, there were several doubles of the people I danced with: Steve, Don #1, Don #2, another Tom, I danced with two Davids, and I don't remember many of my other partner's names. It was great fun. The dance that I didn't get the most was the one that ensued directly after the halftime break. I had been talking to this guy named David who had gone to Oberlin Conservatory for the recorder (I didn't know anyone learned to play the recorder after elementary school--needless to say, there wasn't much competition, and so I asked him to dance, but I just couldn't get the dance.
I accidently partnered up with some creeps who wanted to pull me really close. Oh well, you live and you learn. Besides, before we started, Emily and Ryan reminded us that you always have the choice to pull back. And so I did, with dignity. Although the guy never did get it. And dancing with the creeps always alerts you to the gentlemen of the dance, who I wanted to dance with instead.

After contra dancing, we were all warm, then cold with our sweat, as it is still close to freezing outside, though warming up. We sat around waiting for the last dance to end (which was a waltz, and not as many people participated in the waltz (although I did once, and an older man showed me how to waltz), then we left and drove over the Trader Joe's, near Bethesda, and went straight for the dumpsters!! I was really excited about this. I still am and totally want to go again! Even though the sight and smell of sour cream kinda makes me want to barf (there were some containers of it that were busted open in one of the  bags I was looking through, got all over my hands) We found some awesome stuff! Some still-cold 96/4 lean ground beef, some bread, bagels, a plethera of sliced apples, some fiesta dip, and my favorite--a multitude of muffins! I climbed right into the dumpster, and got these things. On the way out of the dumpster, I lost my center of gravity... and fell right back in. But got out without any worry. Andrew and I drove back to the house, put the food in the fridge, and went to bed.
I had a muffin and some yogurt for breakfast this morning.

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Day One. Of whatever I'm beginning.

In the event of spontaneous shopping for the first week of house living, the shoppers unknowingly (or perhaps knowingly) bought four bunches of celery. I just realized this. And also realized that, although we've already plowed through several bags of baby carrots, we've barely made it through one bunch of celery. So I guess I know what I'm going to be snacking on for the next few days.

I woke up at eight, like I have been for the past few days. Got ready like normal, wore a nice shirt and some jeans, and headed out the house toward the metro. As I was walking, I heard Marty's voice in my head, telling me to be open with my neighbors, and having an observation circle. So the entire, sunny, beautiful walk to the metro, I was seeing people and saying hello. Almost everyone says, "How are you?" with their "Good Morning," although it's rhetorical. I got one "Hey Beautiful." According to Corrie, who is working at the Rape and Crisis Center for Women, if it makes you feel good, it's not harrassment, but I do think that there is a line. Jasmine told me to introduce myself next time, be like, "It's Grace, but you were close!" and Jess told me to respond, "Hey Handsome." I've got a lot of tricks up my sleeve.
I got on the metro with no worry, and read "Animal, Vegetable, Mineral" until Tenleytown. It took a little longer than I expected (which I will remember for the future trips). Then I arrived, signed in, threw my coat and my bag through the security stuff, and got my name tag. Then I walked up the stairs and tried to locate room 207, and the first 207 I saw was an office, so I quickly resorted to asking an adult watching the hallways, and he pointed me in the right direction. Then I saw the class that I shadowed in earlier in the semester. Nobody really said anything to me, but I think they recognized me to a point. They had their school paper which they were reading, and I glanced through it, and enjoyed the articles--they were really well written. It was a better paper than Streetsboro's. And Streetsboro won awards.
The class didn't really do anything. They were ending their semester and so they did course evaluations, and then there were two girls that graduated but took a semester off came and spoke about their experiences during their time away from America. One girl went to India for three months and told about what she did there, learning yoga and mediation, going on a ten day trek on the Himalayas, and about the spicy food, and the sickness that the people she went with got. The irony is that she knows someone at EMU. They went to camp together.
The other girl talked about her experience in Peru with teaching English in a home for sexually assaulted teenagers and working at a Daycare which had no outside. It was good to hear her story and also to see that not everyone has their future planned out and are taking breaks from school.
Last night Lindsay reminded me that even though my internship is out of the box, there are still people who are going to want to hire me because I did an internship with Colman McCarthy. I'm happy with that thought, but I definitely want to be able to do things.
Because today was a shadowing experience, I wonder if the rest of the days are going to be like this. Maybe I can convince Colman to let me to a little teaching with some of the things that I am well-informed of, and see what these students think.
Today in class, while they were looking at the paper, there was a crossword puzzle with an answer that was Lady Gaga. One of the guys in the back row asked me what I thought of her, and I basically said that it was a love-hate relationship, I love the way she writes songs, and the originality and musicality, but I hate the costumes, and that her music is so sexual. Some of the guys were talking about how she was a hermaphrodite, which as far as I know is a rumor. I think she's a woman, just because she's bisexual doesn't mean she's a hermaphrodite. One of them asked me if I thought she was good looking, and I said that with out all the makeup and the costumes, I thought she was.
Anyway, it's really kind of awesome that even though we are in DC, there are still connections to people from EMU that I wouldn't expect, like Amanda, who went to India, knowing Amanda Grace from EMU. I rode the metro back, got to Brookland around 12:00, and walked back to the house with my observation circle expanding as I went. It's hilarious, but important at the same time. I can't be like a tourist who listens to their iPod everywhere and gets mugged because they weren't paying attention.
So Jess, Jas and I went running on the National mall. Which is your Capitol, Washington Monument, big lawn and pool (but not for swimming) area. Which is not a short distance. First, we ran to the Metro, at Jess' fast pace, which is not my fast pace. It is, in fact, my "bookin' it" pace. But I kept up pretty well to the Metro. We got off at Judiciary Square, which was about 3rd or 4th St NW, and ran to First, and started seeing recognizable things, like the Capitol, and so we ran to that. My pace was still a lot slower than the one that they chose, and I was realizing that not running over break was catching up with me, but I tried really hard to keep a pace that wasn't too far behind them, and not stop and walk for too long, or too many times. But inevitably, I was feeling exhausted, and my lungs were not very happy with me (and still aren't, I'm coughing up the gunk that has been building up from my lack of running days again), I told them I wanted to find a Metro to go back to the house. So Jess and Jas decided that we should run me to the Metro. Still at their pace, but I didn't stop to walk at all this time (there were just a lot of intersections that we had to wait to cross :). ) We found one--an Orange Line Smithsonian, and I was on my way. It was easy to find my way from there, but I felt a bit inadequate in a crowded car being sweaty, redfaced, and alone. When I got off at Brookland, I accidently stepped on someone's foot when I was leaning back to let another man pass through, and he rudely retorted, "Excuse you." Not my favorite D.C. resident. But maybe we'll someday be best friends. Ha. Ha. I was chilly so I ran back to the house from the Metro, at Grace fast pace, and stopped when I wanted to (right before I crossed the road to the house, but who is counting?). I told Sanjay when he let me in, and asked how my run was that I need to run more, and I know I'm not used to the hills and the sidewalks of D.C., but I also said that I need to run more. Corrie, our own Cross-Country champ, is training for a marathon at some point this spring, and likes to sprint up hills, and at the end of a run. Me, though, I run for fun, and I wasn't having any fun on the mall today, I just kept thinking about how I couldn't do it, and how out of shape my lungs were. Oh how I miss running with Ellie on the track at EMU at our own pace. It was so great to be able to get together with her over break though, even though we didn't run, we went to the zoo, which was a blastus.
So as probably only two people know, aka my parents, I have a Splenda addiction. Ever since I discovered it's awesome calorielessness when I started Weight-Watchers in 7th grade, I've been including it into my daily life--diet pop, no sugar added ice cream, in various recipes that I like to make, in my morning oatmeal, in my homemade hot chocolate--you know the drill. But partially because I'm trying to save money, and partially because I forgot it in the hurry of leaving for EMU last Friday, I decided to quit using it. Spending money on soft drinks is completely pointless, especially if there are wholesome beverages like milk, tea, coffee, juice (which for some reason I still shy away from even though the kind we have is 100% juice pulp included), and of course, water! (and most of these are free when you have a house budget that includes them!). So I'm quitting diet soda. (Yay me! I'm being mature and finding a balance with my drinking problems!) Nobody except Bryan (which is fine for Bryan) drinks it anyway, and he walks to the gas station for it. And I'm still having oatmeal in the morning, but sweetening it with fruit (when it's around, we eat fruit like it's the only thing in the house), and honey. And I had a cup of hot chocolate the first night we were here, but only a cup, 100% milk (sometimes I just use water for less calories... I have problems), with a tablespoon of cocoa powder, and a teaspoon of sugar was tasty enough. So today, I decided that I wanted to make a coffee frappiccino. Fail. I cheaply added only two teaspoons of sugar to it, a half cup of whole milk (The 1% was in the back of the fridge), four ice cubes, and like twelve ounces of coffee that was left in the pot from this morning (again, I'm not going to let someone pour it down the drain tomorrow when they make coffee in the morning.) The milk fluffed pretty well, but it was pretty un-frappiccino-like, and bitter to boot. But I still drank it. Because I'm stubborn, and I think that that much sugar should suffice. Obviously I'm not willing to put sugar into my body. My problem is that I know that if we had Splenda in the house, I would use it, and use it a lot. And I don't have a problem with drinking diet soda if I have the option. Zach has consistently tried to convince me that the artificial sweeteners can cause seizures and cancer, and other bad things, but of course I think I'm invincible and can't be beat... But I think that honey is better for you than cane sugar. And since I'm on this vegetarian kick maybe I'll just be healthy and cool.
But I think that the yogurt I included in my lunch had aspartame... like I said, if there's an option, I'll take it. I'll get better.
Lindsay and Andrew came back from registration at UDC with stories of issues and waiting forEVER for admitting and registering for classes. Talk about chaos. They gave them a pack of free stuff--with an expired calling card (which Lindsay would have given to me), some redeye reducer eyedrops, and condoms. So a discussion on whether EMU should have free condoms in the health center soon ensued.

The Vegetarian Chili and Cornbread for supper tonight, was AMAZING. We had it over rice. Ever done that? It made it even better! Never had it like that before.
We went to the Rec Center to play Volleyball with the locals tonight. I had a blast--and there were some people who came to play soccer afterward, and I asked them when their league would restart again--in March--so I have a chance to play! I'm really excited about that. Our volleyball games went well, despite my extreme suffering--I have the disease of overcompetitism... or over-aggression...

I have nothing to do tomorrow. Next week's internship work is Monday and Wednesday--almost nothing because the high schools are between semesters.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Ready, Set....(Almost time for Internships!!)

We had our last day of orientation today. Tomorrow internships start, and the traveling solo begins yet again. Lucky for me, I only have to go to one of the two schools I'll be working at tomorrow, and of these, the one that is later in the day. Then I will return back to the house and probably chill, as everyone's internships are scattered throughout the day, and we don't quite have a handle on how it's all going to work.
Today we talked about internships and assigned jobs for around the house. It was kind of difficult to find relevance in the information that Kim said about the internships--like overdressing the first day, asking to have weekly meetings with our supervisor, and even the first project that we have to do for our internships--a poster with out expectations within the internships, and also our personal goals. There was a poster on the wall behind us from someone who interned at Wooly Mammoth Theater, but my internship is so different from theirs that I'm not sure how much information I can take from my internship. As far as I know, with my own internship, I am going to be working in schools. And I'm going to be participating in discussion. and I guess I'll be learning of more roles after that. But it's still hard for me to be able to do the exact same poster type thing as everyone else.
So then we decided on the house jobs. The Nelson Good house (which is what this house is called), is a group home like an intentional community. So everyone has roles and committees so that we can keep the house from falling apart. There are Drivers, Shoppers, Watchmen, Postal Person, Maintenance, and so many other things!
One job that I was assigned for was to be the Kitchen Manager, which makes the list for groceries (and we get to go shopping for things that we need in the kitchen this semester). I'm also the Blog Writer for the group--keeping those connections with EMU, and also the Photographer. Just because I'm keeping the connections to EMU, I get to plan the Chapel that's in February.
Then we had Martie Langelman as our guest speaker after lunch. We had a reading from "Back Off", a book that she wrote about sexual harassment.  It was enduring for the guys during the seminar, as she used them as props/ "muggers/rapists" examples, but we all got a kick out of it, and I think we all learned a lot. She told some VERY lively stories, and we could all tell that she had lived in the city all her life.
Because the oven was broken, we had to switch the menu around and we grilled for supper.
I ate vegetarian again. I just decided to do that because there are already two vegetarians in the house, and I figured that if we had a third of the people in the house to be vegetarian then it would be reasonable to have myself be a vegetarian. So now I'm working on seeing if this is something that I can do or not. I think I can. But I'll probably eat meat if we go to a ethnic restaurant.
This evening we had a great meal. Then we just hung out. We watched the Pilot episode of Arrested Development.
I got to talk to Anna before she left for Guatemala.
Going to bed soon.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The "Youngsters"--a group up and coming!

This day started out a bit better. Lindsay, still adjusting to the gas stove (I guess she's never used one before this), made scrambled eggs for everyone for breakfast (although I was rejoicing the return of Old fashioned rolled oats and natural peanut butter into my life, and had peanut butter and banana in oatmeal, and a cup of milk for breakfast.) We started on the first class of the day right away, and it was sort of hilarious how no one wanted to walk all the way downstairs... but when we got there, Emily was teaching, and we did group life stuff (a lot more exciting than the explaining of the handbook, which followed). We separated into groups of two or three, and acted out some scenarios of issues that had happened in the house in the past. It was hilarious--my group was Jess, Fets (Fetsum), and myself, and Fets had just woken up right as we started, and was in his pajamas. The first scene we had to act out was someone forgetting to do their chore for the week, and his first line was delivered with such a lack of the attitude needed that it caught me off guard, it was hilarious. Other issues that our group went over were coming in late and loud, having annoying habits, and having prayer before we eat. It was so fun. We did a tour of all our rooms (for Emily's benefit), and then we did a house scavenger hunt, which was informing in a rather thorough, but quick way. After that was the monotonous handbook, although I enjoyed reading it, going over the information was repetitive..
We had a sandwich lunch, and then we headed out for our neighborhood scavenger hunt. My fellow hunter was Lindsay, and we got to discuss a lot--she asked me questions, and within my answers, I tended to elaborate a lot. We explored the area behind our house in our neighborhood--there's a friary and the Providence Hospital is back there--and we went to a Diner on 12th Street to see what they served for breakfast. We found out that the average house was (or could be) close to $500,000. We stopped at the Rec Center for a look around, and then we headed toward the Fransiscan Monastery to end our trip. We arrived, looked throught the gift shop, and I got kind of excited about the tour--there were catacombs, and the monastery is modeled after the Hagia Sophia! Then Lindsay and I realized that we forgot to visit one thing--the Icon Shop. I had no idea what kind of "icons" we'd be seeing, but as we walked down the two blocks to get there, it was pretty obvious that it was probably going to have something to do with Catholics. That's the kind of icons that were there--the pictures of Early Christian paintings of saints for Catholics to pray to. They pray to certain saints for certain things, and certain prayers for certain things. (One of the things I dislike about Catholics, that they pray to saints, but they are people too, and I accept that over what they pray for) Anyway, we went back to the Monastery, and started the tour. It was long and we were tired, but it was still heavily and beautifully decorated. We got to go through the entire monastery, which was a replica of a church in Jerusalem. Even the catacombs are a replica, and the stone wall was definitely a wallpaper of a sort. But there were still statues, and awesome mosaics, and sculptures, and domes (like Hagia Sophia). There were bones of two people there. Saint Innocent, who was a child that was martyred in the Early Christian time, and also some of the bones (his skull, for some reason, is in Rome) of another Dude with a very interesting name which I do not know. It was great when we got to walk back to the house together, and then start to relax again. We told Stories of Self--I told the story of how I wrote a song to introduce Ryan at the beginning of the year for Honors, then got my tongue pierced, and preformed it anyway. I talked about how I still thought it went well, but then how later in the semester some of the other Honors students told me that they couldn't understand anything I was singing. I was really glad that Jess shared why she was so into preventing EMU from investing in things that supported the war in Israel.
We had some amazing taco salad for supper, and then Lindsay decided that the entire house should got to the Rec Center to play volleyball. I was all for it, but I couldn't find the form that proved my residence in DC (which gets you free admission, because insurance covers it). I didn't ever find, it but still went along to play, and they didn't end up asking for it anyway.
When we got to the courts, there were already people playing. We came in, and Fets just started playing--he rotated into one of the teams already on the courts. We came in as the rest of the group slightly after him, and Tanya, a teammate from one of the two teams playing, came up to us, and asked us if we were going to play, and told us that it was an 18 and older playing game, but that since we came, we'd be allowed to play. I'm the only one in our group that is under 20, so they weren't sure how to take that. Our first two games were rough. We lost both pretty quickly, and so Lindsay called for a "practice". We volleyed in a circle, and practiced calling for the ball. Soon, we were getting confident and better, and when we started our second round of games, we had a lot more confidence, and though some funny things happened (like me hitting the ball backwards, under the net), we did score some points and get some good volleys going. After that we started getting involved in between our games, and I was a line judge. We continued playing until nine. By then, we were dubbed "the Youngsters" and we'd won some games. Andrew had been yelled at to be aggressive by the lady keeping score, and she almost hit him (jokingly) because he wasn't quite being aggressive enough. It was pretty hilarious. There was some good funny stuff. It was so fun, and we are planning on going back as a group on Thursday as well.
When we got back, Jess and I randomly decided to jam a little bit, and make sure that we play more and sing more. She's great harmony.
I'm excited about what's ahead, though a little nervous for my internship. In honesty, I'm kind of worried that I'm going to have to worry about money. Ugh. I hate that.
We assign jobs tomorrow! I'm looking forward to possibly shopping, and I think I want to have the two jobs of being the Blog Keeper and the Photographer.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Exploration (at the) Metro Station!

The day started out with a slightly awkward breakfast, as we all know each other, but we aren't familiar with each other. It wasn't that we ate breakfast as a group around the table, but there were enough people that you know you should say something, so you do, and it's awkward. But then we all headed out on our scavenger hunts. 
My partner Andrew and I were group 5, and we were the first to leave the house. They said leave at nine, so we left at nine. After an interesting episode with the Smartcards and farecards, we were on our way around the metro. Our first stop on the hunt was to go to the Smithsonian Portrait Gallery. Fortunately for us, everything that was on our hunt was easily located near a metro station, so we did not have to take the bus. We arrived at the Smithsonian on time with our schedule at ten, only to find that the museum didn't open until 11:30. I spotted the International Spy Museum across the street, and had thought we'd found a detour for an hour and a half when we were allowed in, until we found out the admission fee was $18 per adult. That wasn't happening. So we walked back to the Metro, got back on and headed toward the Zoo. 
Andrew insisted that we take the bus the half-mile to the Zoo from the station, but I started walking, and there was no bus in sight, so he was obligated to walk with me. The trip to the zoo was informing, as I now know the zoo opens at 6:00 in the morning so that people can come run there. I also enjoyed seeing the pandas, and taking pictures of several of the animals. (Unfortunately for me, somewhere in between the connection of the computer with my camera, all the pictures were lost from DC so far. :( So sad.) Around eleven thirty, we decided to head to our next stop, and went back to the Metro. We had to transfer trains, which I learned is not as intimidating as it seems, you just have to be aware of the signs, and know exactly which direction you are going in.
We arrived at the Eastern Market station around twelve. But once we walked over to the oldest market in the city, it was inevitable, via the signs, that they were closed on Mondays! So our stomachs still whining about the lack of nutrients (I was showing it a lot more in the heaviness of my eyelids), we walked back toward the metro, and stopped at Marvelous Market instead. It was a relief to find a market that looked locally run, with fresh food at decent prices, and an attitude of healthiness. It made me really happy. I had a Nicoise Salad (anyone seen White Chicks?), a cup of water, and a salty oatmeal cookie--with actual coarse salt on top--like a hot pretzel--and it was righteous.
We got back on the metro again, and headed toward the portrait gallery once more. This time when we arrived, it was open. The security guards made Andrew carry his bookbag in front of him, though I'm not sure what that inhibits (or anything at all). I practiced illegal photographing, throughout, although a lot of the pictures I took like of the painted piano, didn't save on my phone. Grr. One of the awesomest things shown was the Aluminum foil paradise.. it was so sweet. I enjoyed looking at the paintings, and the horn chair.. despite the fact that my body was exhausted from all the exploring, reading, and learning. 
Our last stop involved going to the National Museum of Building and Design, and looking at exhibits on symbolism and neighborhoods. It was interesting, but being so tired it was hard to know what was important to know or not. We met up as a group to reflect on the day. A bunch of people got lost, or went the wrong ways in their hunts, and several had some weirdos say strange things to them. A guy was convinced that Corrie and Jasmine were rascist when they bought Smartcards, and said that he thought they were going to go shoot people. Another guy told Fetsum that he liked the way he walked. This is how I realized that we had a pretty uneventful day, although it was a blessing. 
We all rode back to the house and as an assignment, half the house told stories about themselves (the rest of us are tomorrow). My favorite was Fetsum's story. He did SALT in Indonesia, and had back problems, and his host father recommended this guy to give him a back rub for cheap, and the back rub was really awkward, in the living room of the house. The guy not only rubbed his butt, but also slapped it when he was done. 
I talked to Emily about my transportation situation. So far so good. We are still not quite sure what I'm going to be doing, but we are getting somewhere, and as long as I am financially able to handle this, it's going to be a good semester. That's the thing I'm sure I'm most nervous about.
Corrie and I made the first meal of the house--Cuban Black Beans with Rice, and a Salad. We had good conversation while we cooked, and I realized something about myself. I'm a little uptight, and like to do things right the first time. I'm pretty sure that I don't like failure. But I can't accept a compliment very well. Makes for almost frantic attitude when things start to go wrong. Which they didn't. Things went very well (although I forgot to add the honey, but who knows if the honey would have made it better anyway?). I did not burn the rice (it was only slightly browned on the bottom, like the perfect toasted marshmallow kind of color). The salad was good, and the black beans themselves were quite tasty. Everyone agreed on getting Netflix as a house, and we all labeled out cups with masking tape, as to reduce washing them. 
After supper, which was a lot less awkward than the meal with Doug, Emily, and Kim, Sanj got into this excited "Let's make Cookies" Marathon kind of attitude. Corrie, Fetsum, and Bryan all went to Target, and got some important ingredients, and then when they got back, we started making oatmeal chocolate chip "Engle" cookies. 
It went really well, we had started rolling them in balls and everything, when Corrie, then Christa tried to preheat the oven, but couldn't turn it on. It had one of those digital temperature setters, and the timer and clock were working earlier when supper was being made, so it was frustrating, trying to figure out what was wrong. Lindsay called her dad and pushed some buttons that only made the timer go berserk and then stop altogether. Sanj pulled the oven away from the wall (though afraid of breaking it, ha), but everything was plugged in, and we couldn't figure out what to do. 
It was thought there was an oven downstairs, but there wasn't. So we resorted to alternative ways to cook the cookies, because some people couldn't wait. Jess tried to microwave one, and it turned out fine, except it cooked in the middle of the cookie, and the outside was still gooey. Then Corrie decided to wrap dough in tin foil and fry it on a pan. It worked--the cookie was browned on both sides, but something (I'm not sure what) got incredibly burnt, and set off two smoke detectors, and we had to hurry and turn them off before the sprinklers turned on (although I'm not sure how long it would take for them to turn on). The grilled cookies turned out well, but the rest of the dough had to be put in the freezer because we couldn't bake it. We were so excited about giving cookies to our neighbors as well...

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Location Destination Exclamation: I'm in DC!

So after a late night and an early morning, a lazy chow-down of vending machine food for lunch, and a marathon of Tetris Friends on Facebook, it was 12:15, and my new friend Corrie arrived to take me to DC.
We left half an hour later. Reason? Baggage. It was quite puzzling, I was in disbelief that we would be able to take all my stuff, there was no room when she arrived. But we pushed, shoved, squashed, team-jumped on the trunk of her car to close it (unsuccessful), and crammed a "three" piece lamp in between the front seats. Then we tried to put her mirror back in the car, which was slid into the top of the ceiling until the nails were inches away from everything that was crammed in the back. Corrie held the mirror up with her head as we drove back to her house to leave it on the porch. And then we were on our way!
We got on 81, and headed north. Soon we were sailing down 66... until the signs started flashing "accident ahead, all lanes blocked" and then we sat in traffic, trying to switch lanes with no rear view, and worrying about our room situation. But we called the house, and found out that we each had our own room, the traffic cleared, and then everything was smooth as we arrived in the Motherland.
We happily arrived with much vigor, and unloaded our things after deciding that I was to have the room on the 1st floor and Corrie the second--we had another housemate's mom draw names, because we couldn't decide. Sanjay helped unload as well, and exclaimed about the fact that there were four guitars in the house! Along with a piano.
We had a meeting about the next day, got readings (which still have to be done), and then had pizza. I ate vegetarian. There was a broccoli pizza. Questions flew at dinner, "where's good places to run?" "Where's the closest group homes?" I asked about the closest soccer league.
So tomorrow holds great promises, with a visit to the Portrait Gallery, the National Zoo, the Eastern Market, and a morning run with Corrie and Jessica.
So tonight I slumber, and as my friends start classes tomorrow, I'm going to see the city.
And take lots of pictures.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

God truly opens your eyes, ears, and thoughts.

I was praying tonight. It's something that I do every night, as I know that tomorrow is indecisive as it is, and I don't know what circumstances could change in the night. I know that one day could go by and everything change. So I give it to God. Every single night. Tonight I was discerning about my future. It's such a touchy subject, because everything can change with the flip of a card, the ring of a phone, or a ring. But it's not that I worry about that, it's that I really have no idea what on earth I am going to do this summer. I thought I knew. I thought that was the one thing that I had figured out. Then I realized that the one thing I had figured out was the fact that I'm going to DC on Sunday. That's it. I realized that I am starting to plan things for myself again, even though I had no intentions to. I was planning on working at Camp. It's my default. For a little while I went off on a whim and thought about working at a sign shop in Lancaster with some people that are related to some other people that I used to go to the same church with (Mennonite connections). But it was just a whim, and with some convincing from a good friend, I was back on the Camp track. And it was then when it came back up, today actually, that I realized that I needed to rethink the entire idea of doing Camp. What if that was what I wanted, and not what God wanted? What if I was just going with the flow--the routine of my life this far?
I'm a rather rebellious person, though I don't like to talk about it, and often rationalize these things as to being normal. Because it is normal to be a Mennonite pastor's kid and get your tongue pierced. And it's normal to be an Honors student at a high school, but give up being around your high school friends to go to a local university and be a junior in college before you graduate high school.  And it really is normal to go to college with one major in mind, but change your mind a week in. But it isn't normal to finish the semester with those classes, despite the fact that you are not planning to use them in any way, shape, or form. Despite what others say, you have already filled your general education slip for that spot, and though you don't like to think about it, it was kind of a waste of money. (the good part is that you learned from it, you know a little bit more about science than you did, and discovered Chemistry wasn't that bad. And of course, the experience of knowing that it isn't something that you want to do.) It is normal to be completely in love with someone--you have a long distance relationship--but for them to be in Africa, and not heard your voice in nearly a month.  And lastly, it's normal to go on a cross cultural your first year. But the people who know you also know that you were thinking about quitting college and going to do work in the mission field, but this option seemed like a good transition point, considering you didn't know what you wanted to major in, and finishing school as quick as possible was the original plan (didn't get those 60 credits for nothing), but now you have nothing to work from.
This might be a phase that I'm going through. Maybe I just want to be different from people. Maybe it's a psychological uniqueness, where I have to be different from people. I have to make my music, and hope they listen to the words so that they truly hear what's going on in my head. I have to dance around the point I want to say, because it's hard for me to be completely assertive with people who intimidate me. But either way, maybe my rebellion is making me distance people from me.
This isn't even about my "rebellion". I'm not rebelling to make a point to someone, or anyone. I'm not doing it for any ideals, although my vigorous-high-staked-almost-perfectionism could have something to do with that. Within that case, I've always had high standards for myself, being grades in school, and being better, doing things on purpose.
I've discovered, that though I have this attitude at the beginning, it becomes genuine very quickly. It's like high standards are my front that wear, and me being a nut this makes me define myself by my standards. This is so unrealistic, even though people define me by my standards, it's actually just a front I wear. (Which finally gets me to my point)
I don't care about grades. I don't care about academics. I can't care if I'm better than a person, because everyone has relative standards anyway.
What a rabbit trail.
What I have been getting to:
I was praying. Praying that God would show me what path I should take. What I should do this summer. and then after that I'm not worried about. What I know is that God wants me to do something--I don't know what yet-- with people. Seems easy.
I started to be aware of this. That people, and relationships were more important than school work to me, so much to the point that I was disappointed that there was no one to hang out with and I had to go study. The relationships I built at EMU weren't all deep. For me, I'm happy with just talking to someone that I wonder about, or having a quick, but interesting and funny conversation for twenty feet (of walking, in case you didn't catch my drift). I flit from conversation to conversation. It's just how I am. I can stay in the cafeteria for hours, just because there are new people to talk to, be funny with and catch up. I just want to know what's going on in their lives. Anyone really. It tickles me pink to know what makes a person happier than anything, or excited, or to know something significant about their lives that makes them different in what they do and why they do it, than anyone else. I thrive in relationships. And where some people benefit from a few deep friendships, I benefit from being deep with everyone! As you can imagine, even with my truly (almost one hundred percent, it seems) extroverted self, this passion takes a wear on me. Towards the end of the semester, when I was getting amazing amounts of work done, but also when so many people were finally opening up to me and I to them, I was so exhausted, and so unmotivated. I could keep going and keep going, but I had to force myself to do things that my body needed. Like exercise and sleep (I didn't have a problem making it to the cafeteria--that's where all the people were). When I got home, I was tired three hours after waking up in the morning, and I was getting headaches (though I'm pretty sure that had to do with dehydration). Now break is closing, and I'm heading in the direction of DC. A place where the communication will never stop, and I have less work than I did this semester. Either way. I know that right now, God is calling me to a place of work with people. Obviously--he stuck me in a high school. I have no idea where this is getting me. As of right now, I know I'm too impatient to go anywhere for more than a year-year and a half more of classes.  So here I am trusting. As of now, the answer that I received may not even be for this summer, and maybe this summer will be another one of my weird mood swings (like WCSC was) and then I will have become obligated, but I will enjoy it nonetheless. Thus, whatever it is, I trust God.

That's what I have been doing all this time. But what? I still don't know yet. Sorry. It's an open-ended story as of now.
Nothing seems right yet. And I know if I wait too long, opportunities will close. But others will open. This I know, this I am calm with. God is my God, I trust Him. I know that the future is complicated. But this isn't my first rodeo, life is complicated.
As for my options right now, I'm still thinking about Camp Luz. But if something else kicks me in the rear I will not ignore it. I sort of feel like I have a calling to work in inner-city missions, and I feel like DC will either make or break that. But I have spent time in Harrisburg, and I am totally willing to assimilate to anything with people who are willing to listen.
This is where I am.
Sorry if you are confuzzled.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

What I like about Rural Western Ohio

As I listen to some works of Johann Sebastian Bach on Pandora after eating my breakfast, and reading the paper, I decided that I wanted to recognize that my family's new home is spectacular. Though the new house itself is small, the neighbors are kind and OPEN to getting to know their own neighbors. Yesterday, we got a message on the machine asking if someone could help Olivia, a neighbor, with her algebra. Because our neighbors just recently started attending our church, Dad located the newest chuch directory, found their number, and called over. A few minutes later, I was teaching, and being reminded that my mathematic ways, though obscure, and accurate, but I don't know if I'd be a good teacher....
Though the cars speeding by did hit my cat, they are far and few between, and salt trucks clear off our Route when it snows. There are not random students who walk through our yard (though Dad did let them do that, as a vow of service to appreciate the youth in Streetsboro), and no one to knock down our rather muscular snowman (although the fact of the matter is that we don't, in fact, have a snowman, and if we did, at some point, someone from our new church home youth group might come and knock it down, to spite Marie. But hopefully we won't have to worry about that.) There are so many wonderful benefits to be living in the country, yet have a town a couple of miles away in almost every direction (of the towns I know of, we can go left, right, and forward-ish to reach one). One thing that I thoroughly enjoy is the grid-like road system--you always know where you are--and each of these grids are one mile in distance from each other--and so it's great for measuring the distance of a workout. The even greater thing about the road that leads to our church is that there is a railroad track halfway between the two aligning roads--yay for subdividing! Another amazing thing about Western Ohio--though we do get snow here, it is NOTHING like Streetsboro snow. We are not in the Lake Effect snow area, so we have about two and a half inches, rather than eight plus that exist in the Boro as of yesterday. But this also means that they call off school for fog, which happened to Marie once (much to her dismay).
One of the things I would take advantage of if I was here more often would be the waving-to-everyone-you-see-wherever-you-go. Because every other place that I have lived has been a rather impersonal city, it's hard for me to get used to this idea, but I hope that in time, I will be willing to do that. But first, I have to learn the names and faces of all the people in church. (In this case, it would be beneficial to get a job around here this summer, but Camp Luz is so much more my style. I was thinking about convincing someone in our church to hire me to help them plant, and deal with all my naive ability, so that I can have something to do in the month before I go work at camp.) Thus, I'm still not comfortable with waving at everyone I meet. Which, if I took on this habit, it would be interesting to go to DC after that and assimilate into their culture.
This summer, we were humbled by the hospitality of everyone who brought over their fresh produce (and their best of the best dessert, for the new pastors and their family~Yikes). We were able to freeze mountains of green beans, and corn, and we didn't even have a garden (something which I hope to change for next year). From the minute I came home from Camp in August there were people here, dropping off food and saying,"Hello." This happened especially when it was warmer, but if people from our church, or some who somehow knew our parents, were passing by, and they saw that we were home, they would stop in to see us, just to say hi.
More nice things--family and local businesses. Stella Leona's in Pettisville makes artisan chocolates--like you've never tried before, and I've spent time at the home of the owner, making "sinful bars" with one of her daughters. The Rupp car shop, also in Pettisville. Mom and I went to get the Daewoo fixed up before Anna and I left for school (and wrecked the car) and somehow, she made some connections with one of the workers, to her own family (who do not reside in Western Ohio at all). Ahh the Mennonite game. Such is my life.
So I feel like we have made a great impression on the people in these towns. And some of the best parts happen because there are people from EMU who I didn't know lived in the area, and then, or course, you run into them at the winter Pettisville schools concert. And then proceed to go back to their house for coffee and ice cream. Or you see them (someone else), at one of the local gift stores.
So these are the things I like about Rural Western Ohio. Oh, and the 55mph speed limits on all the county roads. And the Buckeye, the local paper. And the fact that I found out my hair stylist went to Goshen, and also her cousin goes to school with me. And that a certain type of barbeque sauce at the local grocery store, according to the bottle, was made at the address which we now reside.
Yay.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

I would love to be able to motivated to do something. But it seems that every time that I want to do something, I become drained and it becomes irrelevant.
But if I had motivation:
I would clean my room.
I would go for a walk everyday.
I would diligently study the things I'm interested in.
I would learn to be more patient.
I would start to care about more than myself.

But instead these are the things I'm doing:
I am taking the hard way out. Because I can take the challenge.
I am going to keep waiting for the phone to ring, or for the letters to come.
I write a week of letters, and then send it to the chaos overseas, praying it will reach--farther than I can-- and be held in the hand of the one that I love.

And this year--it won't one of be sadness. It will be one of great rejoicing. For there is so much light, and so much less darkness. Darkness cannot spread when there is light around. Light, however, takes over the darkness with just a flicker, and it changes it.
Each second that passes is a second closer.

And so. if the dreams of ambition --my own-- could be met, I would write a blog

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

New Year's Thoughts

I've never been one to be normal, so New Year's Resolutions are not really my style.
But I do set goals for myself.
It's harder this year, because I have a lot less motivation than I used to. Luckily this is only temporary. But as of now, as I have changed, these are my thoughts for the new Year.
--Let God be God and let His Plans be. I have so much trouble with this because I just want to do what I want and I want to know what I'm going to be doing in the next year. But God has this wonderful plan... he's just waiting to reveal it to me when I have a fork in the road, and i need to decide which way of the path I'm going to take. I know everything is going to change when I start what I start this year. I know I'm going to be more aware of things I wasn't aware of, and it will, in essence, bring about new passions I didn't know existed. I don't know what I'm doing, and in basically, I'm about to be planted in a highly fertile field. The sun is warm and welcoming, I'm stretching my legs and my arms up to the sky. Now I'm ready for the run.
--Stop eating things that humans made to make themselves feel less guilty about what they are doing to their bodies, and such. I want to go back to the basics in every style of food. I want to learn how to make cheese, and become French! I want to stop eating processed things, and start eating local in the hopes that I can make the world more equal one bite at a time. Sabbath Economics to Barbara Kingsolver plus Meg's Personal Impact Project to My own.
I should probably make a plan of action... because I guess that's the type of person I am. I'm not really sure...but of course I would have to do research. And that is something I dread (also because of the person I am) and I don't know where to start... ok.. rabbit trail.
--I thought about making a goal to blog more often, have some sort of motivation to blog everyday (or as often as I could). This thought is from the inspiration of Julie and Julia, but with something more pliable to my own tastes. As much as I would aspire to be a French cook, I would fail miserably with the idea, and there is no way that I could be consistant about it.
Maybe I could take another science class, and blog about how sure I am that it is not the right class for me, and complain about it in every blog, while reviewing my notes.. Chemistry for the complete Apathetic Dummy. Ha. I would hate myself. OR Grace's Guide to Washington D.C.. But that would have to have some serious research. But it would be Hands On. . . I'm not sure. That last one seems the most plausible.
I could try to listen to a song I'd never heard of, using some type of search engine (ideas?) to look up a particular word or subject, and find different types of music that describe me. And also things like going to as many shows as I can in D.C. Finding connections with artists (and getting into shows for free) I don't know. I'm just storming through this brain of mine.
I'm tired. Bed Time. Maybe this will continue. Maybe not. Either way.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Reflections of a Time Worth Spent





No one said college would be easy. But coming from someone who took it voluntarily in high school to get away from the normality of the world was especially surprised when she discovered this was so.

I took two (and a half) years of classes at Akron University during high school before I graduated, and decided to come to EMU. I had been accepted into the Honors Program, and with that half tuition scholarship, started up on the stylish freshman fall semester. Within the first week, I was surrounded by many wonderful (but also sort of shallow) friends. I was finding time to exercize, the workload didn't seem that bad, and the people I wanted to spend the most time with were on the same floor as I was.

I went to my first party. I refused my first alcoholic drink, and the party crowd as a friendship base. I got my tongue pierced, to "follow my dreams", which is infamously, what I told my mother over a text directly after I got it pierced. Within the first week, I realized that I was more social than I had expected, more social that I'd ever been. So social, in fact, that it was inhibiting me from being a good college student. My friends were not in my classes, and so work did not get done when I spent time with them. Even worse, I realized that the major that I had in my life plan was actually something that I didn't have a passion for. So shoot, I had to finish a semester with two unwanted science classes that were not easy.

I had the first section of hard-core long-distance relationship, as letters and shortened, spaced out phone calls suddenly were treasured so so much more than the original two hour conversations nightly.

And I felt, for the first time, like I was burned out, like I wasn't accomplishing anything, and that all the learning was going down the drain, and it was being wasted. I felt like I wasn't ready to choose my major. I didn't know what to major in and so I had no idea what I was doing, taking classes at EMU to some uncertain, unsure-if-it-was-ever-there-goal. (I'm serious. In the past, it has been so easy to come up with a poster list of goals for a season, a month, or a semester, and I could not think of more than two!) I was unmotivated, nothing was worth working toward, other than the end of the day, or the weekend, or the break. College--learning--had become my 9-5 I-hate-my-job situation. Some days it still feels that way.

Why was I at college? I'd already done this, and I was sick of explaining how I got to where I did, and how I now knew nothing about what I wanted to do, or what classes to take and what was the point of me being here, if all it felt like was a waste of time and money.

The answer was not (yet) for the degree, or the major (which I still have no idea what I am going to major in), but for the experience, and the friendships.
The people I met with the different perspectives that woke me up to my own passions, and the experiences that I'd never challenged myself with,. Even though I waited to the end of the semester to make relationships with some, I still made them, and it made for a great end of te semester (though there was a trippingly horrible beginning.)
One of my goals, once getting to school was to keep running, no matter what time of the day. Within the first few weeks, I didn't go at all, resorting, exercise-wise, to walk around the track (as it was still warm at the time), and talk to Zach on the phone. But after Zach was into training and there weren't any phone calls, I decided to start running, and, fighting off al intimidation, I found a running partner who did thirty minutes at a time, a couple times a week. I was sort of unsure whether I would be able to go thirty minutes without stopping, but Ellie graciously accepted me at my twenty-five minute run, and we built up to the thirty minutes we both longed to be proud of. We ran at the indoor track, and the outdoor track, because often the indoor one was closed at the late hours we decided to go running. We would go between seven and (once) eleven o'clock for our runs, depending on what the day was like. Ellie and I talked about whatever was on our minds, and this run was one to look forward to because we could talk about anything on our minds, and get out the physical frustrations and mental frustrations. Ellie and I also occasionally (but I was the one who usually bought something) went to Organic Grounds--We would buy drinks and play cards, or we would study and play cards, or I would vent and Ellie would study. Either way, it was a relaxing time and break slightly off the EMU campus. One time we walked back to EMU through the back way behind the EMU campus, and we were pretty sure that we saw one of the soccer guys peeing in the pond. We veered around him, and prayed that he didn't hear us.... More recently, I gave Ellie my beta, and we were talking about how we were going to go to Wildwood park and get some Asiatic clams to filter the water because they would filter it indefinitely. We did go to Wildwood, but all the Asiatic clams were dead, and we found a larvae creature which Ellie named Carl, and we went and watched the falls for a couple minutes, and then I decided we should try to scare some of the ducks. Well, the ducks we just rustled from their nests, although the slight bit of yelling may have had a form of motivation. . . But then we glanced down the way of the swing bridge and saw a man on one knee on one side, and a woman crossing the bridge from the other side... We left abruptly after that, and hoped that our audio disturbance hadn't ruined the moment. Although, I'm pretty sure that the woman said, "yes." The last thing we did was a great break after our Biology final. We went to put air in the tires of Anna and I's "new" Honda Accord, and figured it out after the second try. (and the second dollar). Then we went over to the Organic Grounds for the last time. Ellie was still studying for her Psychology Final, but while looking through the book, she found a diagram that we could both relate to. "Look!" She said, "it's Jim's reaction to your Bio Report, and then Jim's reaction to My Bio Report!" (It was a picture of reactions, one with a tiger, and one with a kitten. Priceless.) Ellie gave me her Psychology book after she was done with her final, because she knew that I wanted to study Psych, just didn't get a chance this semester. She also gave me a couple awesome pairs of socks for Christmas, and a beautiful card with lots of insight, and I'm so glad that Ellie and I became friends. We made it through a car accident together, and have had many different talks about nearly everything. I will miss running with her next semester, as I will be in DC.
Bekah and I go way back. She was one of the first people that I spoke to when I was at Honors Weekend. Then this semester, Bekah and I randomly started hanging out. Ironically, I was on the first floor of Elmwood, and the girls bathroom was on the third and even though I live up there, I didn't want to walk up the two flights of stairs, so I walked over to Maplewood and used the girls bathroom on the first floor over there. I wasn't expecting to stop and go in, but my social attitude kicked in, and I did. (By the way, that was the first time I'd been in Maplewood.) And after that, we started talking in Ethics, after Ruling Ideas, eating dinner together occasionally, and on the way from Ruling Ideas to Chemistry Lab. Well, one Friday morning Bekah called me, while at work study. She hadn't babysat for several years, and that was the present task. So I came to her rescue. We got to spend a few hours together then, and watch a little African baby with a rather interesting belly button. After that, Bekah decided to take me to dinner to repay me. We decided to go to the Little Grill, which was nearby Our Community Place. The interesting thing that happened was that we didn't actually know where we were going. We guessed the entire way, but got there. (This is rather unlike the time which Marie, Wendy Huang, and I set out for Red Front and ended up at Roses, which I told Bekah about on our way, only to find that Our Community Place is directly beside Roses.) After that meal, we decided to start having a dinner out a couple more times this semester. Once, we ended up at the Bowl of Good, and then in Artisan's Hope, and she bought me a ring. Which I lost! But I still have the thought of the ring heavily on my mind. Bekah is one of my halves, and we are very similar and very different, and we get along quite spiffily.
Ahh, Stacy. If you have read this blog previously, you already know about Stacy and I. We are kind of opposite to each other, but good for one another either way. We've gone to Gift N Thrift a couple of times, and the clothes have never fitted so well. We have baked together, we've eaten together, and I think we've made each other laugh one million times. Stacy likes to come into the lounge when I'm practicing. Then when I see her come in, I get distracted, and start a good conversation instead of continuing to practice the piano. This is one of the ways that I know I wouldn't be a good Music Major. I wouldn't be able to focus on playing. Instead, I would want to work on my relationships more. Anyway, Stacy and I have built quite an awesome relationship, spending time with her in a car has never ceased from being productive. Stacy and I have enjoyed building gingerbread houses. (We didn't actually do this together). We like being spontaneous and having dance parties in the kitchen on Elmwood 3rd. Because she lives so close to where I live, Stacy and I are going to spend some time over break together, being crazy, playing guitars and making up silly songs. And maybe we'll go Christmas shopping. For ourselves.
I met my good friend Jamila through the Honors program, but I didn't expect that we'd have so much in common, or actually be tenth cousins for rizzle! I checked my great uncles family tree. It's really rather funny. But anyway, through the Honors program, we had to write a children's book about someone college aged that made a difference. I wrote about Jamila and her YES experience. In doing that I learned more about what YES offered. I hadn't heard a whole about it from Zach, but I guess that was probably because there wasn't much to know, because each experience is way different. That "interview" about YES was one of the first deep conversations I had with Jamila. After that, we braided hair together during the Homecoming Weekend. It was always enlightening for me to spend time with Jamila, because she had a different perspective than everyone else I spent time. I soon realized that part of this reason was because Jamila did the YES program. Starting in November, Jamila invited me to play on her indoor soccer team, the World Wide Wonders. I accepted with vigor, because indoor soccer is my passion. Then started a wonderful experience. We didn't win a game during the regular season. We tied one, but barely lost several of our games. Then enter post season. We were number nine--the last in the league, and we played our first tournament game, and we won. Still the lowest team "technically", but we won one... we kept playing, and we kept winning, and made it to the B league championship! This game we tied, went into the shootout, and the other team barely won. (of course, when we found out that half their team was on the A league championship team, we felt cheated, and a bit proud as well, because that meant we weren't that bad.) (at least #2 is solid. :P) Anyway, Jamila braided my hair this past week. She also told me about YES training, and we spent a good hour and a half, while my head was being transformed, talking about life and stuff. It was a good time. The last few weeks of the semester, I started eating meals with people who live in Maplewood, who, in my opinion are deeper than those who live in Cedarwood and Elmwood. (I think Elmwood is the most shallow of all the Woods Dorms). That's my biased opinion. And I lived in Elmwood. I was really glad that I spent time with people who built me up, and didn't leave me hanging.
My boyfriend was in training for YES from September to Thanksgiving break, and he left for Africa on the second of December. But while he was in training, I went to the first event, commissioning. There, I met his teammates and leaders with Deanna, and was introduced as his girlfriend, Grace. I visited again, this time, going to Chris and Katie's house to sleep, and visited HDC, and met everyone again, and they met me again. I visited again, once, just to see Chris and Katie and then right after Fall Break with Stacy. We actually got to work with them at a worksite, and eat lunch with them. Then when I finally came back for the end of training, everyone knew me as Grace. This was Zach's doing--he made sure that everyone referred to me as Grace, not "Zach's girlfriend." (that really meant a lot to me, even if he doesn't know that.)
I met several people with this present YES group. including the grandparents, and parents of Aaron, who I go to school with, and his sister (who is doing YES), Lauren. I'm not even participating in YES, and I am affected by the experience of it. This I highly appreciate.
Chris and Katie had a home only three hours away with two toddlers and Lydia welcoming me to their own different chaos than what I felt at EMU (which was a dreading oh-my-word-how much-work-do-I-still-have-to-do? type of feeling.) They let me have fun with their wonderful kids, and rest within their house. They also let me practice my piano for hours, until I memorized one song. Lydia had me type up a song that I had written, and insisted on learning and singing it for hours and hours one evening, so much so, we had some oooooo accompaniment by Chris.

These are the reasons I was EMU. To meet these people, to let them change me, and to help me grow in my faith, in my patience, and my person. There were so many other people who aren't even noted, that made a difference in my semester.

God is my greatest influence, my best resting place, and gave me the peace to make it through this semester. As of now, I have no idea what next year holds. But God does, and I trust God.
This is how I will listen. With trust, patience, and willingness for change, as it comes.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Rough Stuff: Predators and Boys who Mean Well (Online and Off)

I never thought I would have to write about this, because I tend to think that I have reliable boundaries and morals of which I follow unconsciously to avoid unwanted male contact. But it seems that it is unavoidable, with internet use being for so vastly for communicative purposes.

I had little knowledge of Skype, other than the option that it was a program that could be used for free phone calls to other countries, and it had video chat options. I'd used it for myself, between my parents and my friends for conversation and connections. A couple weekends ago, however, I was on Skype, and I noticed that you could change your "online status" to online, or away, or invisible, and also "Skype me!" I wasn't sure what that meant, so I switched it on, and then proceeded with my other internet communicative obligations (Facebook, Gmail, Blogger). Within minutes, I was being chatted with some random guy who I had never met or even heard of. Because I have learned to be careful about things like this--there are creepers alive and creeping out there, whether we like it or not--I bluntly asked this character "Who are you?"
You know it's a bad thing when they respond with their age and their gender, but don't give a name. I didn't continue the conversation after that, and when the character continued the conversations with, "can i see you?", I replied "no", and he responded "plz Im hard now", I exited the conversation, and blocked the character. Similar situations occured, each, now with an experienced eye, had little to no conversation, and several perverts were blocked.
By then, I realized that it was most likely the "skype me!" status. I discovered that it is synonymous with "Horny", and I reduced my online status back to just "online."
I was saddened by this, because suddenly all forms of communication have a dark side. Desperate people call for desperate measures. That or they are just too bored to realize how stupid they are being.
This has happened on Facebook as well, just not in such a heavy extent. It's usually a friend request or someone I've never heard of, and then, or course, I just ignore their friend request.
The difficult part is when it's someone who is actually a mutual friend of your friends, and so you assume they have some type of connection with you, and so you add them. But when they start sending vague messages, and start a Facebook chat with "How are you, sexy?", I took no dramatic pause to remove my friend connection with the character.
I refuse to be the butt of a group of people that try to get women to like them by telling them how beautiful they are, over the internet, nonetheless, to get them to give favors of some sort.
It makes me nauseous, essentially.
What disturbs me the most is when it's someone I have known before, as a friend. And as a friend, you have the free right to pass through their pictures, giggle at the funny pictures, and Like the beautiful ones. But it's disgusting when you come across PG-13 pictures, taken by themselves. I do not approve. Regardless of whatever seemingly righteous intentions said person had with their photography, it's still trashy, and rude to those of us who like a positive picture drawn when on the internet.
In real life, I hate it when guys whistle out of their cars at girls, or yell at them. I dislike it when it seems that a woman becomes a spectacle of choice that needs "serenading" (aka catcalls).
I hate that there are some upperclassmen that think that all freshman are naive, and that we would be interested in continuing a conversation with them, after their first intellectually deep thought-through statement: "Where you come from?" (when you are on the staircase, and it is obvious that you came from the floor above them).
And also the assumption that the girls dorms are all willing for partiers that aren't students to come into their dorms and have sex with them is a highly wrong assumption. Ugh. Some men never become men. It's really depressing.
This last paragraph is someone who has not offended me.
It is refreshing to be hit on by someone who just wants to watch a movie, Mamma Mia!, nonetheless, in the laundry room. There are no other sexual intentions, no obvious "I want you for your body, and how you can make me feel" moments, but rather, "I think you're smart, and I like your personality, and heck, you're kinda cute too" moments. Unfortunately for anyone who tries to pull this one with me, they will have no luck, because I'm busy. I have a prior (anything but!) obligation. This is one that I pray will make it through the African jungle, and make it all the way to the "I do" stage. But time is time, and God is God, so I'm gonna wait on him. and Him.
That's all I have to say about that.

Monday, December 07, 2009

Finest Draftus of My Personal Impact Paper

So this is the final draft, which I am actually turning in. Enjoy! Ask if you have questions.

Grace Engle

Personal Impact Project Paper

Awareness and “Taking Out” the Trash

The average American produces about 4.4 pounds of trash daily. Americans throw away 1200 pounds of compostable material each year. Almost 75% of the trash that Americans throw away is biodegradable (Recycling). When I set out to start my self-challenge, I had no idea that this was actually true. I felt like I was consistently aware of the need to recycle and that I wasn’t using the 4.4 pound of trash daily. I didn’t think that this was going to be that much of a challenge, although I did know that I was going to have to be changing some of my routines. I had no idea that this whole project was going to change my entire outlook on what I would go about doing with my time, my money, and my trash.

In the beginning, it was a bit more extreme than the rest of the challenge. At first, I had thought that I should not throw away anything. Thus, the first day I did not recycle or compost, but instead, used the paper I had no use for to make snowflakes and other interesting decorations for my dorm room. However, within that first day, I realized how time consuming it would be if I continued saving everything, and making crafts out of it all. I decided needed to be efficient with my time, as I am a student, so I changed the challenge, and I decided to save all of my trash. This included items I recycled, which I kept in my room, and composted, which I did not keep in my room, of that my roommate was rather thankful. I kept these things in my room as a reminder of what I was consuming.

After the challenge was changed, I made several rules. I decided not to use the paper napkins in the cafeteria, because although they are compostable, they aren’t necessary just for a little bit of food on ones face. The single time I did use napkins when I was doing this project was when there was a spill. In this case, they were necessary. This part of my project was reducing the need. I didn’t need to use napkins before, but I would, and did not recognize that I was using them. The same went for paper towels in the bathroom. Where the idea of convenience is welcomed in American society, it’s important to note that getting everything we want all the time makes the world even more unequal. This is fair to no one, and one of my goals was to make the world more equal.

Another rule I made for myself was to discover which types of plastics, glasses, and papers could be recycled in the Harrisonburg area, and then to reduce the amount of the other types of plastics and other materials that couldn’t be recycled that I used, as they would become trash. The plastic wrappings for granola bars and pretzels had to be reduced drastically, or an alternative had to be discovered, and I decided to switch from granola bars to old-fashioned oatmeal. This saved me not only the plastic wrappings, but also quite a bit of money. Eating oatmeal instead of granola bars also made me have to sit down and eat breakfast, wait for food to be ready, and not eat on the go. It was also an ultimate test to see if I was hungry or not, because oatmeal isn’t that much of a palette satisfying dish. Another goal was to reduce the amount of plastic cups, which are plastics #4 and 5, in my life, and avoid any type of disposable options, in general.

The first weekend was slightly rough, as I did some traveling to a family friend’s house, and they were using paper plates and paper napkins because their dishwasher was broken. So I did some dishes that weekend, and made sure that my banana peel and apple cores made it to the outside compost pile. Eating out always adds to the chaotic amount of garbage one consumes, so when Sunday lunch became a food court episode, I had to veer away from the Chinese options, which were being served on unrecyclable Styrofoam, which is plastic #6. The second option was Subway, although I wasn’t sure what I would do with the wax paper wrap and the plastic bag after the sandwich had been consumed. Luckily, when lunching with three-year-olds, a hat can be fashioned out of wax wraps, and for moms, plastic bags are useful for carrying around soiled diapers. So I escaped most of that trash, except for the Grande Starbucks House Roast cup of coffee that my weekend father bought me. Though for my growing coffee love, it was unfortunately contained in an insulated paper, thus unrecyclable cup with a Plastic #4 lid. So I had to hold onto it.

There were several times within my trash saving period that I had to travel, and more things tended to be consumed while I was traveling. When I went home for fall break, the people in out vehicle stopped at Quizno’s for supper, and Starbucks for a caffeine pick-me-up. Though I had packed myself a supper in the cafeteria, by the end of the trip, my trash bag had some granola bar wrappers while staying at home (I was given the option, and I chose granola bars over oatmeal). Some other unrecyclable things were given to me, like mail packaging (there was some mail at home waiting for me when I got home). The ending of the trip back to EMU was unfortunate, as we were in a car accident, and the next day I had to clean the car out. I had to add a good amount of trash to my bag, because there was trash that had been in the car since the previous May. I learned that when one travels, they accumulate more trash, and use more things in general. As Americans, we commute to work, and because of this, we take food in to-go packaging, and accumulate more trash because we take many different things. Because we are in such a hurry, to get from A to B, we end up throwing away everything that we had with us, regardless of whether we knew it was recyclable or not. It takes time to sort through the recyclable and unrecyclable.

Traveling brought many challenges to my plate, but when I told my weekend mom of the idea that I had for saving trash, said she’d seen a television show with a family with children that managed to only use a garbage bag full of trash a month, and also a family of two that only used a shopping bag sized bag of trash in a year. Of my research on saving trash, there were several examples that did the same thing as me, they saved their trash, but for a year at a time, or reduced their trash for a year. Ari Derfel, a Berkeley resident, and a Harvard Law School attendee, saved his trash, reducing as he went, and ended up with 96 cubic feet of trash within the year. Though he did this project from December 2006-December 2007, Ari continued to write for awareness on his blog saveyourtrash.typepad.com until early 2008. In San Francisco article, he noted that when he was little, he had wanted to be a Supreme Court justice to make a difference, but realized later on that it would be better for him to work on helping people one-on-one. So after his project had become public, when people would come up to him and tell him of the difference he’d made in their lives, nothing felt better (Zito, 2007). Ari Derfel donated his trash to an artist. By saving his trash for a year, he brought awareness to the city of San Fransisco. Now, according to an article written in June 2009, San Fransisco has the toughest recycling laws of the country (Cote, 2009).

Matthew and Waveney of Christchurch, New Zealand, who made a decision to go “Rubbish free” for the year of February 2008-February 2009. They used tactics such as reduce, reuse, and recycle, but they also established the idea of “rehoming.” Matthew and Waveney reduced by removing the extra plastic wrappings from their lives, including researching beforehand the plastic wrapping free locations where food could be bought with no plastic involved. They prepared for the project by removing all the things in their home that would cause them to have “rubbish” later on in the year. They replaced these things (such as batteries that were not rechargeable) with things that could be reused and wouldn’t cause waste. They reused as much as possible, by using the plastic #3 and #4 yogurt containers and cloth bags to get foods at the bulk food stores where they shopped. They recycled, of course, and went to some extreme extents to make sure that they could recycle their scrap metal, no matter if it were as small as paper clips and metal toothpaste tubes.

Lastly, Matthew and Waveney used the tactic of rehoming their items that they no longer needed or used, or risked putting in their rubbish bag, and tried to locate someone who would be willing to take it and use it themselves. I have depended on this tactic with my own project at some points. They also used composting, and they made an in-ground compost bucket in their backyard for all of their biodegradable needs. At the end of their year, Matthew and Waveney ended up with a shopping bag full of trash. But only a shopping bag! (http://www.rubbishfreeyear.co.nz/index.php)

After reading their entire blog, I felt overwhelmed, because there was so much more that I could do to make a difference in the amount of trash that I consumed, but as a college student, I neither had the resources nor the time to accomplish any of these things because I am a college student. I was motivated by the idea of rehoming, however, because it is something familiar to me. I have given bags and bags of things to people, or to the thrift store, but never thought much about the fact that I was saving the landfill a lot of space. In my opinion, donating things to a thrift store is almost like throwing them away, because you never have to worry about them, but it is essentially rehoming with a profit for a small (depending on the thrift store) business. It causes the items to be reused, and they aren’t put to waste. Rehoming is the idea that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure. I filled a large garbage bag with clothes and things from my dorm room, that I no longer needed to have. I decided I could survive with out them. I could survive without so much! This hit me like a truck. I was very glad that I’d reached this point.

When I reduced, I refused to use paper towels or napkins. I was disgusted with the idea of using disposable things when there were so many long lasting options for these disposable items. There are so many natural options for our processed American versions. I used less body wash and tooth paste, showered less, reduced the amount of clothes that I washed and the frequency of times that I washed the clothes. (Washing clothes too many times causes them to be worn out more quickly, so I was extending the longevity of my clothes). I reduced how much paper I printed off of my classes, and for nonassignment printing tried to make sure that I used paper that had already been used so that I wasn’t be unnecessary with the amount of paper that I used. Because each American uses an average of seven trees or 680 pounds of paper a year, I wanted to make a denton that number. I like trees. They give shade and green (J) and add calm to an atmosphere.

With my reusing, because I kept my recycling bin in my room, I reused more things. There were empty plastic bottles in it that stayed there a long time (even after I finished my rounds of saving trash). When I was thirsty, I reused these bottles. When I needed to write something down to remember it, I took a sheet of paper out the recycling bin and wrote the note down on it. I also reused the Starbucks cups that I received (or bought for myself), until they were misshapen, soggy, flimsy, and weren’t really doing their jobs anymore. Then they finally made it to the bag of trash. I also made a goal to get a to-go mug that I could use the next time that I got a hot coffee at Starbucks. This is how I feel we should be with every disposable item that we use. Because they are disposable we should use them until they have no other use but to be disposed of.

When I started this project, I made one of my goals to recycle everything that I had, within my capacity that was recyclable. This was one of the hardest things to do, because it is a habit to throw away paper. (In fact, it’s slightly fun to crumble it into a ball and see if you can make it into the trashcan across the room.) So my hardest adjustment was to make sure that I recycled all the paper that I came into contact with and had to dispose of. It was harder at first, because I would actually throw it away, then realize that I didn’t want to do that, and would have to take it back out of my trash and put it into my recycling bin. It became a lot easier to do when I removed my trashcan from my room (it became a container for recyclable plastic bags, and I couldn’t very well fill this with non-plastic bag items). The recycling bin became the priority for anything that I had with no longer any use for.

Because I was becoming so aware of what I needed to do to reduce my environmental impact, I wanted to make a difference on my hall. I put an extra cloth towel in each of the bathroom and one in the kitchen to promote the idea of not using the paper/disposable version. I also made a compost bucket for our hall, with the then almost-empty ice cream bucket that had been sitting in the freezer for the past month. (I finished the slightly freezer-burnt treat with great joy). I just put a label on the bucket, and then started to fill it with my own compost. I made colorful signs with different examples for what could be recycled, composted, thrown away, and a list of ways to reduce. There was previously a sign with the items listed that could be recycled, which was left up, but I also added my colorful one for those whose eyes tend to be more likely to look at pretty things, than yellow signs. These signs were mostly for the girls on my hall to become aware of what could be recycled and what should be thrown away. I think that it made them more aware of where their waste should go, but I’m not sure the signs made a difference, because I still saw pizza boxes in the recycling bin and coffee grounds in the trashcan. I’ve also had some oppression against the idea of using the cloth towels in the bathroom. The important thing for me was to get the ladies to be aware.

I felt it was also important to note that although Harrisonburg recycles plastics #1 and #2, they do not recycle plastics #3 and #4, which are commonly used in yogurt containers and butter tubs. This makes it harder for conscientious recyclers, who don’t want to fill the landfills with of everything they guiltily consume. There are also no local places to recycle lesser-used plastics #5 and #6, or any places to recycle Styrofoam nearby. The closest place is in Maryland, in a suburb of Washington D.C.

Thus, it would be rather difficult to try to live as a regular American does, and use the amount of plastic that an average American uses, and be able to conveniently recycle it locally. However, in Harrisonburg, one doesn’t have to go far to be able to get good natural, bulk, or local food—the Dayton Farmer’s Market offers food in bulk, though it is in plastic bags. The Harrisonburg Farmer’s Market also offers all local farmers’ own food for people to buy. With the local options of thrift stores to remove things without use, the large amount of people interested in living in intentional communities, and the easily accessible option of biking, there are many different ways that a person could accomplish living in Harrisonburg with a minimal trash diet.

With this project I realized how much I didn’t need, what I could live without. I became more aware of what the world had, and I felt I had too much in the world. In the devotional book, The Basic Trek, they talk about the ecological footprints of different cultures in the world. Americans have the biggest ecological footprints, being 30 acres per American. The average footprint in India is 3 acres per person. The average footprint in the entire world is 8 acres per person, and this takes up more than the world has to offer (Schrock-Shenk)! Americans would have to reduce to about 1/3 the amount of what they presently use.

My new goal with this project, even after my trash-saving episode was over, was to reduce the ecological footprint of myself. I use too much water, I eat too much food, and I cause too much fossil fuel go into the atmosphere. I don’t give back as much as I take, and I feel guilty about it. That is the hardest step—I have to find a balance of reducing and saving that I feel comfortable with so I don’t feel guilty about using so much that other people don’t have. I’d rather have less and not be as happy, if I knew that someone else had enough and was happy. But I am happy and I’m warm and comfortable. And though I should be happy, whenever I think about what the majority of the world is experiencing, what people I know are experiencing as they are doing outreach in Africa, Central America, in Europe, I cannot feel happy. I want to give and give and give of myself until there is nothing left of me to give. I cannot stay in this place with this unlimited amount of things, food, and warmth.

I do not find joy in wasting things that other people need, which happens in the dorm with the heat because it is an uncomfortable temperature all the time, so we have to open the windows to feel comfortable in the heat. I do not find joy in the idea that several girls on my hall cannot handle the idea of recycling paper, so they throw it in the trash. They contribute to the 75% of biodegradable and recyclable waste that is thrown away everyday, and cause the landfills to be 75% unnecessary. I know someone who chooses not to compost and recycle and is happy to not be a part of making the world a greener place. Matthew and Waveney had the same type of oppression while doing their projects. There were people who started doing “a rubbish bag a week” projects to replace the space of to their own “reducing” project. This is discouraging, and I feel the same way when people around me that I care about reject the idea of composting because it smells bad, recycling because it’s less convenient, or they reject the idea of reducing the amount of paper towels they use to dry their hands because wiping their hands on their pants is too much of a hassle. These are convenient, but so unneeded.

I feel that Americans are so used to convenience that we can’t embrace that having what we want all the time is making us universal brats, in the entire global scheme of things. However, just like with the Civil Rights movement, it cannot be just a change of habit. It also has to be a change of heart. This is something that I feel can be met with little steps in the right direction. If each American decided to have a reusable water bottle instead of insisting on using disposable water bottles (which in fact can and should be recycled), rather than using two million bottles every five minutes, there would only be 308,102,488 total used in the country, rather than 12,614,400,000,000. That’s twelve trillion water bottles per year, which is about how many dollars the United States government is in debt! Thus, little changes can make the biggest difference ever.

There are several things that I plan on continuing to do as I go with my post-project feelings. There’s no way that I can’t continue to recycle—it had become a habit that I plan on continuing as long as I am capable. Though sometimes my muscle memory in my arms tries to throw it in the trashcan that has been relocated back into my room, I make sure that it ends up in the right place. I try to reduce the amount of waste that I consume. I have started buying foods in bulk (cocoa powder, because I love to make my own hot chocolate), and I still walk out of the bathroom with wet hands if there is no other option, and leave the cafeteria with hands smelling like something I just ate because I didn’t want to use a napkin to clean up the little bit of a spill I made. I still only wash the clothes that are completely necessary to clean, as little as possible.

I have continued to reduce the amount of things that I have in my room, partly because I am moving out and I don’t need these things as much, by nature I’m a very messy person, and I realize as much as I think I’ll need them at some point, there is a very low possibility that I will actually need the things that I keep saying that I will need.

One of the biggest things that I have in my future, because of the partial impact of this project, is to be a participant in the YES program. Youth Evangelism Services (YES) is a program for young adults, ages 18-30, who get to do short term mission outreach programs. (www.emm.org) I have spoken to several people who have done the YES program within the last year, and also have spoken to some participants that are in the process of doing YES right now. I feel like it is a fit for me. When I went to visit the training center, because of my interest and my friends in the training, I felt called to be there and help and do. Doing is something I have been battling with since I have been on campus, because I have felt like I haven’t been able to help others and do as much as I need to since I have been here. Because I have this calling, I know that I will be able to experience the reduced ecological footprint by being in another country—I welcome it. I will get to live with reduced accessibility and less of everything in general. Then what I have here in America, when I come back, will not be taken for granted any longer, and I will be truly thankful for everything that I have here, and I will have experienced a reduced lifestyle. I will be able to continue to feel as if I have made a difference.

This project has truly opened my eyes to the path that I need to take with my life, and the steps that I need to take as I go. It has given me challenges, but more importantly, it has helped me grow mentally and spiritually, because of the indirect connections to my yearnings in life. Because of the simple idea of “taking out” the trash, I have changed my entire outlook on life, and what I will do with it. This project went from environmental impact to spiritual impact. I cannot wait to see where it will take me.

Thursday, December 03, 2009

Send 'Em to Africa + Chemistry

It's the censored version of the card game Mafia. That's what they call it when you play it at Camp Luz. The "town" goes to sleep for the night, and the "nurse", the "police", the "detective", and the "mafia" try to determine who is saved, who, as "mafia", are killed, who the "mafia" are, and which towns person should be sent to Africa next. Because it's better to be sent to Africa than to be killed. Or the idea of killing people for fun in the game seems pointless, add that fact that it's played, out of boredom, at a Christian camp.
It was at this camp that Zach made the decision to do YES. It was at this Camp that so many people were "Sent to Africa" via the card game. But now he's going for real. He'll be there in two hours.
And he's more than ready.
I just wanted to be the "nurse" and save him from going to Africa.
But there's nothing wrong with Africa. This I know. And going there will only make him better. This I also know. I'm not worried. I'm just saddened by the lack of him here in America.
God was the "mafia". God Sent him to Africa. He's the starting gun, or in this case, the catalyst of the reaction. He was there for the entire reaction. He made it start to happen, and then left the "chemicals" to react as they may.
I'm one of those Spectator ions. I'm part of the reaction, but not in the final precipitate.
I'm okay with that.