It's still in pieces: as in, I haven't decided what order I am doing.
I saw the truth written on your heart
The recipe of true life in love to start
I can taste the promises you’ve kept
With me, Always
You are patient with me
As my expectations are waiting
I desire everything
But I need your timing
Your love is sufficient for me
It builds strength within me
There’s so much power in this passion
It becomes a chain reaction
Your strength is all I need
I felt the warmth shone from your Son
Security surrounds me I know you’re the one
I have your truth written on my heart
For me, In me
I want to walk on the narrow road, Jesus
I want to walk on the narrow road
I want to walk on the narrow road Jesus
I want to walk on the narrow road
Jesus you are my king Jesus
You are my king
You are my king Jesus
You are my king
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you
Lead me on and I will run after you Jesus
Lead me on and I will run after you.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Thursday, May 05, 2011
Love the New Job
I am working in a new job that enlightens my mind!
I started my summer at Sauder Village on Tuesday, and have been wrecking havoc ever since.
Susan showed me the gardens around Sauder Village that I will be working in at some point, and I am excited about gardening, and I also learned a little bit about how the settlers used to garden, what they used to garden, and how they used to can.
For those of you who are just tuning in, I am working at a frontier culture museum, designed to help students live history as it was for settlers back in the day, in Northwestern Ohio.
On my second day of work, I was rigged up in a costume for Natives and Newcomers, dressed as an Indian from the early 1800s. They dressed in wool skirts and leggings, with calico shirts made from fabric traded with the settlers traveling west. Indians made currency with the pelts and hides of the animals they trapped. As the settlers brought more things to trade, the indians homes became more modernized: some lived in log cabins, they used canvas on top of their wigwams to stop the rain from coming in, and they used metal tools: rakes, hoes, pots and pans, to cook and garden instead of the ones created from bone and gourd.I spent an afternoon making moccasins, from elk and moose leather, sewing them with fake sinew (they don't actually sell sinew).
This day flew by, I didn't even think about time until the announcement rang through that there were twenty more minutes for visitors to walk through. It was a bit chilly, but we made it through the day. I breathed in smoke all day; I was making popcorn for part of the morning, then crushed the popcorn into a flour like consistency, and put it in a pot of water that was over the fire: popcorn soup! In addition, a pot of hominy was started and some old hominy that needed to be peeled was set out for visitors to peel as they pleased. The corn that was being used for the Hominy was White Miami corn (named after the Indian tribe, not the city in Florida). The corn used for the meal was actually blue, and from far away looked like ash in the grinding log. It came from Blue Delaware corn. I imagine that it makes pretty cornbread. It would be interesting to serve to people. There were four types of corn that we had, two in addition to the ones I've already talked about: Cherokee Corn: the indian corn used for popcorn that we made the soup with, and Silver Queen corn, a sweet corn that was dried, and when cooked like popcorn, made a sweet parched corn.
I talked about the mound gardens that had the three plants that supported each other in their growth: Beans who put nitrogen back into the soil, also supporting the corn stalk as it grows up it, corn which takes the nitrogen out of the soil, providing a natural pole for the beans to climb, and squash, whose shallow roots served as a natural mulch hampering weeds from growing.
There was so much more!
My second day I was training as a Train Conductor: this is the role that I was looking forward to the most. Mom had to assist me to find a costume within our home so I would look like a conductor: I used my black dress pants, one of Dad's old dress shirts, Dad's Guatemalan vest inside out, one of Dad's old ties, which I somehow remembered how to tie, and I put my hair in a bun and wore my sneakers with black socks. I pulled it off.
It was fun doing this job because of the people that I was working with. One's name was Phil, who was the conductor that was training me, and the other was Jack who was the engineer driving the train. THere weren't too many customers at the beginning of the day, but before lunch and after lunch, there were several runs. I sat through two train rides with Phil doing the interprestation: talking about things in the Village and the adjacent Sauder buildings and functions, and then I had a go and did the rest of the day. The first one I did, Sarah Beck showed up and Phil promptly got up, took his conductor hat and placed it on her head, and sat her down on the Conductor's chair next to me and sent us on our way. I felt like I did ok. I got more comfortable with it as the time passed and the last group I went with really enjoyed my conversation. I have to run a cash register for this position, but it's not a pain in the butt because there is so much of a social aspect of this job, and I love it!
This is Sauder Village thus far. On Saturday I work as a Native again, on Tuesday as a Conductor, On Thursday I am supposed to alternate between training at the Stuckey house and working at the ice cream shop and Friday and Saturday I'm to work at the ice cream shop. I'm busy! But I'm enjoying it a lot. I like that I'm getting to get to know people.
Mom on the phone with Sara, our neighbor:
"Sara, can we get some eggs? WE'll have the money ready for you when you come over"
Me: "Mom are you talking to the Bloomers about eggs? Can you ask them to bring a kitten over?"
Mom:"Can you send a kitten over too? (to me) Do you want to borrow it?"
Me: "Yep, just borrow it!"
So I borrowed a kitten that could curl up in the small of my back and fall asleep, with its bright orange fluffy fur and sky blue eyes. We let her tramp around the house with her squeaky meuws and let her defend herself to our ramboncuous hound of a dog, ROcket. I could tell she was getting sleepy, so I brought her in my room and let her crawl onto my back. And there she slept for a little while. After I was done doing some things and really had to pee, I brought her back over to the Bloomers. She crawled up my shoulder and lounged on my neck/back on the walk over and caused giggles to erupt from the Bloomer girls as I knocked on the door with my hunched back and said, "I have a kitten for you."
Later, when Dad looked at the pictures, he said that I couldn't have the kitten around when he was, that that was a bad idea. He might want to keep it. My family has always had a soft spot for animals.
I started my summer at Sauder Village on Tuesday, and have been wrecking havoc ever since.
Susan showed me the gardens around Sauder Village that I will be working in at some point, and I am excited about gardening, and I also learned a little bit about how the settlers used to garden, what they used to garden, and how they used to can.
For those of you who are just tuning in, I am working at a frontier culture museum, designed to help students live history as it was for settlers back in the day, in Northwestern Ohio.
On my second day of work, I was rigged up in a costume for Natives and Newcomers, dressed as an Indian from the early 1800s. They dressed in wool skirts and leggings, with calico shirts made from fabric traded with the settlers traveling west. Indians made currency with the pelts and hides of the animals they trapped. As the settlers brought more things to trade, the indians homes became more modernized: some lived in log cabins, they used canvas on top of their wigwams to stop the rain from coming in, and they used metal tools: rakes, hoes, pots and pans, to cook and garden instead of the ones created from bone and gourd.I spent an afternoon making moccasins, from elk and moose leather, sewing them with fake sinew (they don't actually sell sinew).
This day flew by, I didn't even think about time until the announcement rang through that there were twenty more minutes for visitors to walk through. It was a bit chilly, but we made it through the day. I breathed in smoke all day; I was making popcorn for part of the morning, then crushed the popcorn into a flour like consistency, and put it in a pot of water that was over the fire: popcorn soup! In addition, a pot of hominy was started and some old hominy that needed to be peeled was set out for visitors to peel as they pleased. The corn that was being used for the Hominy was White Miami corn (named after the Indian tribe, not the city in Florida). The corn used for the meal was actually blue, and from far away looked like ash in the grinding log. It came from Blue Delaware corn. I imagine that it makes pretty cornbread. It would be interesting to serve to people. There were four types of corn that we had, two in addition to the ones I've already talked about: Cherokee Corn: the indian corn used for popcorn that we made the soup with, and Silver Queen corn, a sweet corn that was dried, and when cooked like popcorn, made a sweet parched corn.
I talked about the mound gardens that had the three plants that supported each other in their growth: Beans who put nitrogen back into the soil, also supporting the corn stalk as it grows up it, corn which takes the nitrogen out of the soil, providing a natural pole for the beans to climb, and squash, whose shallow roots served as a natural mulch hampering weeds from growing.
There was so much more!
My second day I was training as a Train Conductor: this is the role that I was looking forward to the most. Mom had to assist me to find a costume within our home so I would look like a conductor: I used my black dress pants, one of Dad's old dress shirts, Dad's Guatemalan vest inside out, one of Dad's old ties, which I somehow remembered how to tie, and I put my hair in a bun and wore my sneakers with black socks. I pulled it off.
It was fun doing this job because of the people that I was working with. One's name was Phil, who was the conductor that was training me, and the other was Jack who was the engineer driving the train. THere weren't too many customers at the beginning of the day, but before lunch and after lunch, there were several runs. I sat through two train rides with Phil doing the interprestation: talking about things in the Village and the adjacent Sauder buildings and functions, and then I had a go and did the rest of the day. The first one I did, Sarah Beck showed up and Phil promptly got up, took his conductor hat and placed it on her head, and sat her down on the Conductor's chair next to me and sent us on our way. I felt like I did ok. I got more comfortable with it as the time passed and the last group I went with really enjoyed my conversation. I have to run a cash register for this position, but it's not a pain in the butt because there is so much of a social aspect of this job, and I love it!
This is Sauder Village thus far. On Saturday I work as a Native again, on Tuesday as a Conductor, On Thursday I am supposed to alternate between training at the Stuckey house and working at the ice cream shop and Friday and Saturday I'm to work at the ice cream shop. I'm busy! But I'm enjoying it a lot. I like that I'm getting to get to know people.
Mom on the phone with Sara, our neighbor:
"Sara, can we get some eggs? WE'll have the money ready for you when you come over"
Me: "Mom are you talking to the Bloomers about eggs? Can you ask them to bring a kitten over?"
Mom:"Can you send a kitten over too? (to me) Do you want to borrow it?"
Me: "Yep, just borrow it!"
So I borrowed a kitten that could curl up in the small of my back and fall asleep, with its bright orange fluffy fur and sky blue eyes. We let her tramp around the house with her squeaky meuws and let her defend herself to our ramboncuous hound of a dog, ROcket. I could tell she was getting sleepy, so I brought her in my room and let her crawl onto my back. And there she slept for a little while. After I was done doing some things and really had to pee, I brought her back over to the Bloomers. She crawled up my shoulder and lounged on my neck/back on the walk over and caused giggles to erupt from the Bloomer girls as I knocked on the door with my hunched back and said, "I have a kitten for you."
Later, when Dad looked at the pictures, he said that I couldn't have the kitten around when he was, that that was a bad idea. He might want to keep it. My family has always had a soft spot for animals.
Monday, May 02, 2011
Finishing up the year TWO at EMU
A lot of time has passed since I lasted posted thoughts, let alone events about me. Thus, enjoy my reflections of my second year, fourth semester at EMU.
This past semester, I:
Fell in love with Ben, and even more with God, and we are enjoying listening to our God together while in love, about our future and where he is leading us!
lived with Meg, Bridgie, Melody, on fourth floor of Northlawn, with the walking disciples, enjoying much tea in beautiful cups, henna, dinners of Thai, pizza, dumpstered food, crappy movies, prayer, laughter, crackled backles, and SINGING! (and so much more!)
Fully embraced social work as my major, and the friendships that have been produced. Yay Laura!
Ran with inconsistency but adequacy. I would have loved to run more, but I was so much more busy this semester.
Sort of assisted with reestablishing Eastern Mennonite Student Women's Association.
Collaged like it was it was nobody's business. The art currently hangs from my walls.
Had my first concert for my own music in Common Grounds.
Saw beautiful people leave for their cross culturals and come back, beautiful, excited, learned, broken, peaceful, invigorated, and so much more.
Wrote longer papers in shorter amounts of time than ever before, and it only gets longer.
Took a CLEP exam for the first (and hopefully, last) time.
Reported and took action for injustice on campus for the first time.
Got mono for the first time, during finals week!
And tomorrow, for the first time, I am going to work at Sauder Village, in a beautiful dress, as a train conductor, a townsperson,and a native American. I have some expectations in my head, but I know it is going to be entirely different. I'm going to work on recording a CD of my present and past music.
This past year there is so much I've learned and in so many ways developed. Life has changed, and I'm surrounded by beautiful amazing Godly women and men and supported in every way needed.
This past semester, I:
Fell in love with Ben, and even more with God, and we are enjoying listening to our God together while in love, about our future and where he is leading us!
lived with Meg, Bridgie, Melody, on fourth floor of Northlawn, with the walking disciples, enjoying much tea in beautiful cups, henna, dinners of Thai, pizza, dumpstered food, crappy movies, prayer, laughter, crackled backles, and SINGING! (and so much more!)
Fully embraced social work as my major, and the friendships that have been produced. Yay Laura!
Ran with inconsistency but adequacy. I would have loved to run more, but I was so much more busy this semester.
Sort of assisted with reestablishing Eastern Mennonite Student Women's Association.
Collaged like it was it was nobody's business. The art currently hangs from my walls.
Had my first concert for my own music in Common Grounds.
Saw beautiful people leave for their cross culturals and come back, beautiful, excited, learned, broken, peaceful, invigorated, and so much more.
Wrote longer papers in shorter amounts of time than ever before, and it only gets longer.
Took a CLEP exam for the first (and hopefully, last) time.
Reported and took action for injustice on campus for the first time.
Got mono for the first time, during finals week!
And tomorrow, for the first time, I am going to work at Sauder Village, in a beautiful dress, as a train conductor, a townsperson,and a native American. I have some expectations in my head, but I know it is going to be entirely different. I'm going to work on recording a CD of my present and past music.
This past year there is so much I've learned and in so many ways developed. Life has changed, and I'm surrounded by beautiful amazing Godly women and men and supported in every way needed.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
New Song: We are the Same in this
How can I help you with your life
If there's pain written all over your face?
Because there's lies, stereotypes
Telling me to keep my distance
You're broken, peace-ridden
What can I suggest?
Because this cold, cold night
Of hopelessness is approaching fast.
And the fight to win this battle
Is going the wrong way
As people take money for themselves
Instead of society
We are lost in this
We are lost in this
These selfish ties victimize
We separate contaminate
Corruption reeks deception
Can we escape?
Remove the lies, which fantasize
An atrocity of fake paradise
Let the layers melt off, see the shock
Human just like them
We are lost in this
We are lost in this
This trap that we've created
Limits your heart size
You're on your own
No one to hold anymore
Marginalized
Sinking into the mud
Let the rain wash away the difference
What makes me different
For you?
We are the same in this
We are the same in this
We are the same.
If there's pain written all over your face?
Because there's lies, stereotypes
Telling me to keep my distance
You're broken, peace-ridden
What can I suggest?
Because this cold, cold night
Of hopelessness is approaching fast.
And the fight to win this battle
Is going the wrong way
As people take money for themselves
Instead of society
We are lost in this
We are lost in this
These selfish ties victimize
We separate contaminate
Corruption reeks deception
Can we escape?
Remove the lies, which fantasize
An atrocity of fake paradise
Let the layers melt off, see the shock
Human just like them
We are lost in this
We are lost in this
This trap that we've created
Limits your heart size
You're on your own
No one to hold anymore
Marginalized
Sinking into the mud
Let the rain wash away the difference
What makes me different
For you?
We are the same in this
We are the same in this
We are the same.
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
New Song: Growing Up
I changed the title. This song is about growth and strength in God. Yay!
As the rains of struggle
Fall over me
I feel your foundation stabilizing
With your walls of strength around me
I'm stronger than I could ever be
With me
Without your balance, Lord,
I'm stumbling on my own
Walk with me as my steps are faulty
You have given me the strength to stand
And only in your ways
Can I keep growing up
I'm still such a babe in this
I'm challenged by these bigger steps,
You prepare me for them
I depend on you
I can't try anything I do
Will you lead me to succeed?
In your way, Lord
In Your way
If I walk on my own
I start drowning
Waves of ocean fill me with fear
My faith disappears
Until I let me see
Your perfect love frees me!
It's your will, not mine
And you're my guide
And my soul shines with
You inside
I can't hide
This freedom within me
Can't you see Him? See Him!
Can you see Him?
As the rains of struggle
Fall over me
I feel your foundation stabilizing
With your walls of strength around me
I'm stronger than I could ever be
With me
Without your balance, Lord,
I'm stumbling on my own
Walk with me as my steps are faulty
You have given me the strength to stand
And only in your ways
Can I keep growing up
I'm still such a babe in this
I'm challenged by these bigger steps,
You prepare me for them
I depend on you
I can't try anything I do
Will you lead me to succeed?
In your way, Lord
In Your way
If I walk on my own
I start drowning
Waves of ocean fill me with fear
My faith disappears
Until I let me see
Your perfect love frees me!
It's your will, not mine
And you're my guide
And my soul shines with
You inside
I can't hide
This freedom within me
Can't you see Him? See Him!
Can you see Him?
Monday, April 04, 2011
Christ in Me
Where do you see God in yourself?
How do you let Him serve through you?
Do you let God take on both feminine and masculine identities?
Do not limit God!
Where do you let God speak through you?
Does He sing through the songs you write?
Do Her words escape that mouth of yours as you open your mind to God's plan?
Listen to God!
How does God love through you?
Let your eyes envelope the hurting souls of another.
Surround their pain with God-strength to overcome.
Does God's comfort in your silence echo?
How do you praise God?
Do you let His Word reverberate through you?
Do you humble yourself and let the nature of your soul no longer conform to this world?
Be transformed by God!
/-/
What is good?
Is it the things we say when we should?
Or is it words we would
Say, if it weren't for hurting feelings?
But God is good,
Our good is good!
He takes us as we are, with a love we can't define!
It's the love of our Christ!
A child once like us.
He became the bread and the wine,
Because he knew we'd break it every time
Understanding man's imperfection,
God gave us His son's connection
To take away our unworthy souls,
And make us pure gold,
and make us Good.
Who is Good?
Did not God say that not one is worthy?
Then why do we still do things to define our worthiness?
/-/
Let God's works shine through you.
Don't think you need to do anything for Him!
The king is enthralled by your beauty!
Honor Him, for she is your lord!
This is the love of Christ in me.
How do you let Him serve through you?
Do you let God take on both feminine and masculine identities?
Do not limit God!
Where do you let God speak through you?
Does He sing through the songs you write?
Do Her words escape that mouth of yours as you open your mind to God's plan?
Listen to God!
How does God love through you?
Let your eyes envelope the hurting souls of another.
Surround their pain with God-strength to overcome.
Does God's comfort in your silence echo?
How do you praise God?
Do you let His Word reverberate through you?
Do you humble yourself and let the nature of your soul no longer conform to this world?
Be transformed by God!
/-/
What is good?
Is it the things we say when we should?
Or is it words we would
Say, if it weren't for hurting feelings?
But God is good,
Our good is good!
He takes us as we are, with a love we can't define!
It's the love of our Christ!
A child once like us.
He became the bread and the wine,
Because he knew we'd break it every time
Understanding man's imperfection,
God gave us His son's connection
To take away our unworthy souls,
And make us pure gold,
and make us Good.
Who is Good?
Did not God say that not one is worthy?
Then why do we still do things to define our worthiness?
/-/
Let God's works shine through you.
Don't think you need to do anything for Him!
The king is enthralled by your beauty!
Honor Him, for she is your lord!
This is the love of Christ in me.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Skydiving
Falling in love seems so dangerous
It's cause for broken hearts
Collapsed on the floor
There's always risk involved
When you let fall
You soul is bare
Susceptible to insecurity
But if you both fall at the same time
If you're holding hands
As you jump and fly
This love will catch
Pull that parachute string
Dive into the sky
Soar over mountains
Look over the earth
It was made for us
See potential
Reach for exponential limits
Let real true love envelope you
As you fall together
Grab on hold tight
This is the night for you
Falling in love is so thrilling, freeing
It makes you who you are
And better
It fills you with excitement
Butterflies and you are ready
For your love to fly higher!
Cause if you both fall at the same time
If you're holding hands
As you jump and fly
Your love will catch
Pull that parachute string.
It's cause for broken hearts
Collapsed on the floor
There's always risk involved
When you let fall
You soul is bare
Susceptible to insecurity
But if you both fall at the same time
If you're holding hands
As you jump and fly
This love will catch
Pull that parachute string
Dive into the sky
Soar over mountains
Look over the earth
It was made for us
See potential
Reach for exponential limits
Let real true love envelope you
As you fall together
Grab on hold tight
This is the night for you
Falling in love is so thrilling, freeing
It makes you who you are
And better
It fills you with excitement
Butterflies and you are ready
For your love to fly higher!
Cause if you both fall at the same time
If you're holding hands
As you jump and fly
Your love will catch
Pull that parachute string.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Ben's Song
You happen to be
The opposite of me
In some ways
You step on the other side
You balance my controversial mind
In spite of everything
You accept me.
And there's more God in your eyes
Than I've ever seen in my life
I see it and squirm for more time to go by
Because I just want to embrace you
More than other people do
More, because I mean more
Because Love means more.
What is this love?
English forgot to define
The feelings you've inspired
I can't remain the same.
You've claimed my attention
We've intercepted I want this connection
You were unexpected untimely interesting
You've intrigued me I can't stop suggesting
That you succeeded in tripping me over
That you succeeded in tripping me over
You succeeded in tripping me over
In love with you.
Beautiful words
develop in my mind
I can't speak my face erupts in smiles
I'm bashful and you're accepting
It all helps the depths of
Our hearts connecting.
The opposite of me
In some ways
You step on the other side
You balance my controversial mind
In spite of everything
You accept me.
And there's more God in your eyes
Than I've ever seen in my life
I see it and squirm for more time to go by
Because I just want to embrace you
More than other people do
More, because I mean more
Because Love means more.
What is this love?
English forgot to define
The feelings you've inspired
I can't remain the same.
You've claimed my attention
We've intercepted I want this connection
You were unexpected untimely interesting
You've intrigued me I can't stop suggesting
That you succeeded in tripping me over
That you succeeded in tripping me over
You succeeded in tripping me over
In love with you.
Beautiful words
develop in my mind
I can't speak my face erupts in smiles
I'm bashful and you're accepting
It all helps the depths of
Our hearts connecting.
Thoughts on complications between race and gender oppression
It’s important to be aware. To be passionate, to be driven, and motivated by injustices in the world and to reach the point where you can tell the world because you understand that it needs to be known. That it needs to be something that people are passionate about, and it needs to be something people are motivated by, because it is an injustice in the world.
Part of passion is the empathy that goes along with acknowledging oppression. I take on the pain that other people feel, can sense the frustration in the air when the oppression continues, when people misunderstand what’s really going on. I hate seeing conflict, seeing people disagree, but what I hate more is not seeing the truth bared at the end of the day. This happens when people don’t accept others for who and what they are, but instead choose to stereotype, discriminate, and hate. Other parts of oppression, though, I have experienced, as a woman.
On Monday night, there was a presentation of a video about Hip Hop culture. Afterward, at the discussion, two opinions were created: one in the discussion and the other in my own mind. The African American students who attended the event wanted us to know that the video displayed a stereotype of their culture; this wasn’t who they all were. During the video presentation the idea that stuck out to me the most was the oppression and the issues within our culture. These are caused by patriarchy: men being the leaders in relationship and being dominant over women. This idea is portrayed in the media displaying that women are for men’s sexual pleasures, they have little brain, little clothes, and no voice, other than to voice sexual desires.
I understand that not all African American men carry themselves standing on pedestals of dominating violence, homophobia, and objectifying women. I have reached the point through my life experience of diversity, through my cross cultural in DC and a summer in Queens, that I cannot stereotype anyone by the standards that the media portrays. Certainly, there are men of all races and ethnicities that fulfill that patriarchal role, but there are also quality, deep, men who love the beauty of person and personality.
I left the discussion, however, with a feeling of oppression upon my gut. I walked away disgusted, feeling like my body was oppressing me. Once, when I was walking home from the metro in Washington D.C., I was stopped by a man in a car, in broad daylight, who got out of his car and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I responded with a ‘yes,’ but proceeded to talk to him until he let me on my way. He did not touch or harm me, but I have never felt more confused or filled with fear in my life. I try to carry myself with confidence, to be quick to conversation, but I’m also quick to hide my fear, and my lack of comfort. If the man who got out of his car to ask me that question thought he was complimenting me, or would be able to convince me that he was a worthy gentlemen of choice for a relationship, he was quite confused. This man, though displaying his interest through conversation, only pulled over because he thought I was beautiful, and objectified me.
My frustration continues when I see people who only flirt with others because they are women, or because they fit the standards of beauty in society. This, though building some sort of shallow relationship with someone, still banks off of outward beauty and sexuality. It seems that flirts don’t genuinely like anyone, they just live for attention, and for the self-esteem boost when people reciprocate a response of “I think you’re hot, too.”
Oppression, frustration, and anger resonated in me as I left. What could I do? The only way to stop the objectification of women is to change the structure of our media influences. This means in advertising, we have to stop making people feel bad about themselves enough to buy something. We have to stop setting the standard of women’s idealized body weight at 13-18% underweight. We have to stop sexualizing everything, making every advertisement about thin women, sex, or both. It’s become all about comparing ourselves to others, as if at the genetic level, we all fit the same stereotype.
Awareness is the first part of making a change. I am passionate and driven enough to want to make others aware the oppression of women in society, even if it’s only through my own frustrations and anger. I want people to have awareness of their own actions, and what their influences are. Even if they don’t ‘fit a stereotype’, what are their tendencies? Look! Go outside into the beautiful world, look at human beings and see human beings, with beautiful intelligence and beautiful ideas, not just a beautiful face.
Part of passion is the empathy that goes along with acknowledging oppression. I take on the pain that other people feel, can sense the frustration in the air when the oppression continues, when people misunderstand what’s really going on. I hate seeing conflict, seeing people disagree, but what I hate more is not seeing the truth bared at the end of the day. This happens when people don’t accept others for who and what they are, but instead choose to stereotype, discriminate, and hate. Other parts of oppression, though, I have experienced, as a woman.
On Monday night, there was a presentation of a video about Hip Hop culture. Afterward, at the discussion, two opinions were created: one in the discussion and the other in my own mind. The African American students who attended the event wanted us to know that the video displayed a stereotype of their culture; this wasn’t who they all were. During the video presentation the idea that stuck out to me the most was the oppression and the issues within our culture. These are caused by patriarchy: men being the leaders in relationship and being dominant over women. This idea is portrayed in the media displaying that women are for men’s sexual pleasures, they have little brain, little clothes, and no voice, other than to voice sexual desires.
I understand that not all African American men carry themselves standing on pedestals of dominating violence, homophobia, and objectifying women. I have reached the point through my life experience of diversity, through my cross cultural in DC and a summer in Queens, that I cannot stereotype anyone by the standards that the media portrays. Certainly, there are men of all races and ethnicities that fulfill that patriarchal role, but there are also quality, deep, men who love the beauty of person and personality.
I left the discussion, however, with a feeling of oppression upon my gut. I walked away disgusted, feeling like my body was oppressing me. Once, when I was walking home from the metro in Washington D.C., I was stopped by a man in a car, in broad daylight, who got out of his car and asked me if I had a boyfriend. I responded with a ‘yes,’ but proceeded to talk to him until he let me on my way. He did not touch or harm me, but I have never felt more confused or filled with fear in my life. I try to carry myself with confidence, to be quick to conversation, but I’m also quick to hide my fear, and my lack of comfort. If the man who got out of his car to ask me that question thought he was complimenting me, or would be able to convince me that he was a worthy gentlemen of choice for a relationship, he was quite confused. This man, though displaying his interest through conversation, only pulled over because he thought I was beautiful, and objectified me.
My frustration continues when I see people who only flirt with others because they are women, or because they fit the standards of beauty in society. This, though building some sort of shallow relationship with someone, still banks off of outward beauty and sexuality. It seems that flirts don’t genuinely like anyone, they just live for attention, and for the self-esteem boost when people reciprocate a response of “I think you’re hot, too.”
Oppression, frustration, and anger resonated in me as I left. What could I do? The only way to stop the objectification of women is to change the structure of our media influences. This means in advertising, we have to stop making people feel bad about themselves enough to buy something. We have to stop setting the standard of women’s idealized body weight at 13-18% underweight. We have to stop sexualizing everything, making every advertisement about thin women, sex, or both. It’s become all about comparing ourselves to others, as if at the genetic level, we all fit the same stereotype.
Awareness is the first part of making a change. I am passionate and driven enough to want to make others aware the oppression of women in society, even if it’s only through my own frustrations and anger. I want people to have awareness of their own actions, and what their influences are. Even if they don’t ‘fit a stereotype’, what are their tendencies? Look! Go outside into the beautiful world, look at human beings and see human beings, with beautiful intelligence and beautiful ideas, not just a beautiful face.
No Longer Suffering Alone
Suffering is a part of humanity. It can be drawn from the very beginning, in Genesis, when the fruit was bitten. Sin was born, pain created, and toiling planted into the working of the soil, the earth, and everything in it. As we have been born into this world that has sin and suffering, we are also bound to suffer.
Because of this, suffering should be normal. People are dying constantly, incurable diseases coming upon people, accidents happen, and life changes. It should be accepted that pain will come along in our lives. Life’s emotions are a bit of a roller coaster, but in knowing this, there is always a mountain after a valley--a positive on the other end. We will live through it!
Somewhere along the way, this Western society seduced us to conform to individuality. This means that we care about ourselves, what others think of us, and have no need to depend upon them. We are who we are, and we don’t need anybody’s help. This means that when we suffer, we are in constant thought of what other people would think of us. If we are crying, or depressed, or seem “lonely,” we are in a state of vulnerability, and our society is uncomfortable with genuine vulnerability. Instead, we put on masks. We avoid pain. We avoid conversations about pain. We hold our pain in.
This idea of perpetual happiness is fictitious. There is not one person in this earth who has lived a life of pure happiness. What kind of a life would that be, to only see the high side, to be constantly floating? This life would be out of touch with reality. Because there would be no up or down, life would be monotonous and boring.
My point is this: why should we have to hold in our pain, keep our shamed secrets within our hearts until we die, because we must hold to these standards that have rooted their way into our souls? God created humans for relationship, and within that relationship, he calls us to bind together, so that “if one falls, the other can help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10). God wants us to glean off of our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ, because they will build us back up when we are suffering, and be our support when we cannot go on anymore. God wants us to open up about our past pains and sufferings—the ones that have lain dormant for so long, but still influence everything we do. God wants us to talk about it.
In my experience, pain stays with me until let others cross the boundary of comfort and enter into the vulnerable deep within me. It is so hard to let others do that, to let people comfort me, because I’ve been framed by the standard that “I can do it myself, I can get better myself” and have been self-medicating through writing lyrics and songs for so long. But God has helped me realize that writing music to an ambiguous crowd can only heal so much.
Confiding in someone helped me remove the fear of rejection, the fear that everyone else is individualistic and doesn’t care. I always knew in the back of my mind that people do care, they can empathize, and they can love unconditionally, but because of the pain I’ve experienced, I only thought I could depend upon myself. I’ve learned otherwise, but it’s been a long process getting there.
In this life, when you are suffering, remember that though you are “in the valley of the shadow of death,” (Psalm 23:4) you aren’t alone. God is with you. Listen to that whispering voice. It’s okay to open your mouth and let your words come out, no matter how hard it is to speak.
Because of this, suffering should be normal. People are dying constantly, incurable diseases coming upon people, accidents happen, and life changes. It should be accepted that pain will come along in our lives. Life’s emotions are a bit of a roller coaster, but in knowing this, there is always a mountain after a valley--a positive on the other end. We will live through it!
Somewhere along the way, this Western society seduced us to conform to individuality. This means that we care about ourselves, what others think of us, and have no need to depend upon them. We are who we are, and we don’t need anybody’s help. This means that when we suffer, we are in constant thought of what other people would think of us. If we are crying, or depressed, or seem “lonely,” we are in a state of vulnerability, and our society is uncomfortable with genuine vulnerability. Instead, we put on masks. We avoid pain. We avoid conversations about pain. We hold our pain in.
This idea of perpetual happiness is fictitious. There is not one person in this earth who has lived a life of pure happiness. What kind of a life would that be, to only see the high side, to be constantly floating? This life would be out of touch with reality. Because there would be no up or down, life would be monotonous and boring.
My point is this: why should we have to hold in our pain, keep our shamed secrets within our hearts until we die, because we must hold to these standards that have rooted their way into our souls? God created humans for relationship, and within that relationship, he calls us to bind together, so that “if one falls, the other can help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:10). God wants us to glean off of our friends, our brothers and sisters in Christ, because they will build us back up when we are suffering, and be our support when we cannot go on anymore. God wants us to open up about our past pains and sufferings—the ones that have lain dormant for so long, but still influence everything we do. God wants us to talk about it.
In my experience, pain stays with me until let others cross the boundary of comfort and enter into the vulnerable deep within me. It is so hard to let others do that, to let people comfort me, because I’ve been framed by the standard that “I can do it myself, I can get better myself” and have been self-medicating through writing lyrics and songs for so long. But God has helped me realize that writing music to an ambiguous crowd can only heal so much.
Confiding in someone helped me remove the fear of rejection, the fear that everyone else is individualistic and doesn’t care. I always knew in the back of my mind that people do care, they can empathize, and they can love unconditionally, but because of the pain I’ve experienced, I only thought I could depend upon myself. I’ve learned otherwise, but it’s been a long process getting there.
In this life, when you are suffering, remember that though you are “in the valley of the shadow of death,” (Psalm 23:4) you aren’t alone. God is with you. Listen to that whispering voice. It’s okay to open your mouth and let your words come out, no matter how hard it is to speak.
Monday, February 21, 2011
One of the reasons I'm late to work. new song. "The only way to live"
You've proved to me Your love
How perfect! I have no fear.
But Lord teach me to walk
What I believe and hold dear.
You are my foundation
My everlasting Rock of Ages.
Rest upon my calling.
Let me listen and hear your voice again.
I'm distracted by my own abilities
But you've placed them in me!
And I want you to shine more than me.
Father guide my hands
Polish my mind so that I can stand for You.
I am blind, Lord, I need to see you
I am deaf, Lord, Let me hear you
I can't feel anything, Jesus be within me
Father I'm tasteless and I know you are good
Show me how to live like I should
You are the only way to live
You are my way to truthful life.
You've filled me with your peace.
How gracious! I have true rest.
Lord teach me not to worry
For life will pass, no matter if I fear or not
You are my foundation
My Everlasting Rock of Ages
Rest upon me Your Peace
Let me listen and hear your voice again
I'm distracted by my own abilities
But you've placed them in me
And I want you to shine more than me
Father, guide my hands
Polish my mind so that I can stand For you.
How perfect! I have no fear.
But Lord teach me to walk
What I believe and hold dear.
You are my foundation
My everlasting Rock of Ages.
Rest upon my calling.
Let me listen and hear your voice again.
I'm distracted by my own abilities
But you've placed them in me!
And I want you to shine more than me.
Father guide my hands
Polish my mind so that I can stand for You.
I am blind, Lord, I need to see you
I am deaf, Lord, Let me hear you
I can't feel anything, Jesus be within me
Father I'm tasteless and I know you are good
Show me how to live like I should
You are the only way to live
You are my way to truthful life.
You've filled me with your peace.
How gracious! I have true rest.
Lord teach me not to worry
For life will pass, no matter if I fear or not
You are my foundation
My Everlasting Rock of Ages
Rest upon me Your Peace
Let me listen and hear your voice again
I'm distracted by my own abilities
But you've placed them in me
And I want you to shine more than me
Father, guide my hands
Polish my mind so that I can stand For you.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Everything
I never ceased to be moved by this song.
It hits the heart of my heart and reminds me to worship with all of me without inhibition.
Listen here.
It hits the heart of my heart and reminds me to worship with all of me without inhibition.
Listen here.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Valentine's Day
Life consistently isn't what you expect.
I suspect that this is because society is so influenced by media fantastical reality, but that's not what I'm blogging about tonight.
Being conspicuous and sneaky with Meg, and decorating Ben's car with words and hearts and cute window crayon pictures.
"Have a wealthy Valentine's Day."
A warm, sunny, windy day that brought on a run outside, then a barefoot game of "ultimate football" outside.
Borrowing heighty heels to be extra intimidating/dominating, first in personality, then in stature.
Practicing to walking in said heighty heels down the hall.
Being suddenly six feet tall.
A pair of pink roses and a sweet kiss on the lips from a handsome, also-tall, charming, Godly man.
Bubbling over with happiness, enthralled by love, flowers, that it's real!
Getting picked up, and a car door opened.
A packed Taste of Thai.
Waiting, standing (in now Painful heighty heels), wobbling, but supported.
Scooting our chairs closer like we're in the cafeteria.
A pair of pink roses and a wealthy card center our table.
Ordering spring rolls because Ben is starving.
Having many "close one"'s
Great conversation about pranks, our parents' Valentine's days, gifts, last minute preparations."
"I love you."
Dim lighting. Delicious Thai food.
A chocolate pyramid for two. No, it was not vegan.
What a wonderful Valentine.
Changing shoes when we got back, and going back to Ben's room to have a Bible Study.
Instead listening to one of my dad's sermons.
Going to bed Happy.
Very Happy.
Happiness that flowed over to today.
Getting a vegan cake heart at breakfast in the caf.
Getting Stella Leona's chocolate hearts in the mail.
Playing piano and singing too loud for my Valentine.
"We are His Portion and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If Grace is an ocean then we're all sinking.
Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss.
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way He loves us."
This is how I feel loved.
I suspect that this is because society is so influenced by media fantastical reality, but that's not what I'm blogging about tonight.
Being conspicuous and sneaky with Meg, and decorating Ben's car with words and hearts and cute window crayon pictures.
"Have a wealthy Valentine's Day."
A warm, sunny, windy day that brought on a run outside, then a barefoot game of "ultimate football" outside.
Borrowing heighty heels to be extra intimidating/dominating, first in personality, then in stature.
Practicing to walking in said heighty heels down the hall.
Being suddenly six feet tall.
A pair of pink roses and a sweet kiss on the lips from a handsome, also-tall, charming, Godly man.
Bubbling over with happiness, enthralled by love, flowers, that it's real!
Getting picked up, and a car door opened.
A packed Taste of Thai.Waiting, standing (in now Painful heighty heels), wobbling, but supported.
Scooting our chairs closer like we're in the cafeteria.
A pair of pink roses and a wealthy card center our table.
Ordering spring rolls because Ben is starving.
Having many "close one"'s
Great conversation about pranks, our parents' Valentine's days, gifts, last minute preparations."
"I love you."
Dim lighting. Delicious Thai food.
A chocolate pyramid for two. No, it was not vegan.
What a wonderful Valentine.
Changing shoes when we got back, and going back to Ben's room to have a Bible Study.
Instead listening to one of my dad's sermons.
Going to bed Happy.
Very Happy.
Happiness that flowed over to today.
Getting a vegan cake heart at breakfast in the caf.
Getting Stella Leona's chocolate hearts in the mail.
Playing piano and singing too loud for my Valentine.
"We are His Portion and he is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If Grace is an ocean then we're all sinking.
Heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss.
And my heart turns violently inside my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way He loves us."
This is how I feel loved.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
blah blah
Sometimes I say what I think.
All the time.
It's like a self narration of my brain map.
Yep.
So sometimes I need to be quiet.
But sometimes I can't think of the things to say.
What are my strengths?
Why do I find myself going back and forth to the same things, and not drawing on variety, the drive of my life?
Now, I can think of so many other things that I have strengths in, or so many more ways to talk about things in better words.
I guess I just felt like there wasn't the greatest connection.
And felt insufficient.
But maybe I just have such high expectations that I cannot attain them.
And I need to level the playing field.
All interviews won't be the best. But I like to be able to smile and laugh.
My body is telling me it's hungry again.
I want to run and I want to be vegan.
What a conundrum.
All the time.
It's like a self narration of my brain map.
Yep.
So sometimes I need to be quiet.
But sometimes I can't think of the things to say.
What are my strengths?
Why do I find myself going back and forth to the same things, and not drawing on variety, the drive of my life?
Now, I can think of so many other things that I have strengths in, or so many more ways to talk about things in better words.
I guess I just felt like there wasn't the greatest connection.
And felt insufficient.
But maybe I just have such high expectations that I cannot attain them.
And I need to level the playing field.
All interviews won't be the best. But I like to be able to smile and laugh.
My body is telling me it's hungry again.
I want to run and I want to be vegan.
What a conundrum.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Music
Have you ever gotten so angry that you could break something, that you could scream until all your breath was gone, and so loud that you hoped that everyone could hear? Have you ever been so sad that you couldn't describe it anymore, that nothing could paint a picture of how you felt, and no one could understand? Have you ever felt so in love that "I love you" just didn't say it quite like you wanted to anymore, that you just wanted to say it better, say it "more" than you ever did before? Life is about love, life is about life, and for me, life is about music. Music is the way that I express when I can't speak it anymore, when my words can't formulate the answer that i desire to say. The way I combine my fingers moving and the air exiting my lungs with vigor, shaping my lips into words fills the synapse of emptiness that I feel when I only say how I feel. When I speak, words can become jumbled, meanings discombobulated, and mispronounced words misconceived. This doesn't happen all the time, but it can, especially when emotions are strong. This is why I write music. I write music so that I can express how I feel, not just through the meanings of the words, but also through the tones of the notes, the chord progressions, minor or major, and how I crescendo and diminuendo.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
"Normal"
This was a very interesting paper that I put together for my Abnormal Psychology class. :)
I define “normal” as someone, something, or somewhere that fits into the norms of the society that said someone, something, or somewhere is located. “Normal” can take both positive and negative attributes, because it carries the majority perspective of the dominant culture. In this way, sometimes it’s good to be counter-cultural, or “abnormal”, and be environmentally sustainable. However, in other ways, it is appropriate to be “normal.” Respecting elders, listening when in class are some positive “normal” behaviors that I feel are appropriate to follow through with. In addition, I think that expressing emotion, whether in public or in private, should be a “normal” action and not be considered inappropriate. This is looking at “abnormal” in more of a counter-cultural context, not in terms of behaviors in the psychological context.
“Abnormal” is often used as a definition when something is out of the ordinary, but no other word can quite describe it. I say “abnormal” when there is murder, but no motive. When there are voices heard, but silence, and when there are characters created, but only in the cognitive fantasy. “Abnormal” is when levels of hormones go too far, and go from creating pleasure to monstrosity, or when blood sugar levels get so low, someone goes from being hungry and weak, to psychopathic. An abnormal behavior is when a rational “question” is met with an irrational response, and no repentance. In this definition, no repentance means, where some people would follow an irrational response with a recognition of their own irrationality, others will forget, or not recall their recognition. This is shown through saying a simple, “just kidding”. An example of “Abnormal behavior” is when artists buy paint instead of food, and chop off parts of their ears to express love.
I have never been diagnosed with a maladaptive behavior, but I have known people who have. I have relatives who have suffered from depression, and I have an uncle with schizophrenic tendencies and also Parkinson’s. I have lived with my sister who suffered from depression for several years, and I know that symptoms of depression because I have experienced several myself. Knowing that I am genetically disposed for many psychological disorders makes me more aware that there are possibilities for me to suffer from them myself. However, because of this awareness, I find myself even more stubborn to get myself out of any depressing holes that I dig myself into.
Through my personal experience, I realize that psychological disorders happen to everyone. They exist in every family, though some are more covered up than in the open. I have learned through my experience that the best way to address these disorders is to talk about them, and if one shows tendencies and symptoms, perhaps diagnosis, then, if continuous monitoring requires, medication. People having psychological disorders in secret compounds them into monsters of destruction to the beautiful mind that we are all created with.
Abnormal behaviors are sticky to define, let alone diagnose. I can think what I want, but in the truth of it is that I use other people as my resources, and it’s a team effort to come to the present conclusions that I create in my mind. I glean for second opinions, and don’t resort to defining people’s oddities to be some life changing disorder. I hope this semester is a learning experience for me, increasing in knowledge and understanding of what maladaptive behaviors are.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Song: "Stand."
God over my fears
Take my hand
Lead me through
This death land
God over my distractions
My misconceptions
Make me dance without burdens
Be my light
In this dark night
Calm my trembling lips
Give me the strength to speak
And take the steps you call me to
On this path made by You
Here I am
Will me to stand
And raise my hands and scream
"HOLY IS YOUR NAME
OVER ALL THE EARTH
YOU MADE!"
You are here
Your mercy is clear
You want to love me
I was broken,
But now I can learn to stand.
Caretaker of my heart
Mold me now
So that I can feel your timing
Busy minds
Distract this temple
Worship becomes obligated
Spark the light
Catch me afire
Burn for all to see
That you are God
You Are God
Spirit of my soul
Breathe in me
Make my empty spaces
Into holy places
Let your wind surround me
Even when my heart is pounding
Lead me to your grace
Taste peace when you say,
"Here you will have troubles,
But take heart!
I have overcome the world!"
YOU ARE GOD!
Take my hand
Lead me through
This death land
God over my distractions
My misconceptions
Make me dance without burdens
Be my light
In this dark night
Calm my trembling lips
Give me the strength to speak
And take the steps you call me to
On this path made by You
Here I am
Will me to stand
And raise my hands and scream
"HOLY IS YOUR NAME
OVER ALL THE EARTH
YOU MADE!"
You are here
Your mercy is clear
You want to love me
I was broken,
But now I can learn to stand.
Caretaker of my heart
Mold me now
So that I can feel your timing
Busy minds
Distract this temple
Worship becomes obligated
Spark the light
Catch me afire
Burn for all to see
That you are God
You Are God
Spirit of my soul
Breathe in me
Make my empty spaces
Into holy places
Let your wind surround me
Even when my heart is pounding
Lead me to your grace
Taste peace when you say,
"Here you will have troubles,
But take heart!
I have overcome the world!"
YOU ARE GOD!
Monday, January 10, 2011
I'm living above the cafeteria!
So I am now living on campus again.
This is exciting: I can safely say that I won't be unintentionally breaking any EMU rules by spending too many nights in a row on campus, or having to beg people to pay for me to eat in the caf. This feels great, because there is ownership in that.
I actually got to eat breakfast in the caf, and I don't remember the last time I did that. I don't even think I did that very much when I lived in Elmwood, but there seems like no point to not walk down the four flights of stairs to get to the caf when it's right there, and I don't even have to walk outside.
My room is officially starting to feel like home. There is a collage wall right above my bed, which I hope to add to as much as possible.
I paid my balance at the business office this morning, after a chilly walk to the bank to extract all my funds from my checking account. Then someone who knew my family when we went to Lindale (which was in 1996 and 1997, btw) picked me up halfway home and gave me a ride to the Commons. That was cool. I love having Mennonite connections.
When I paid my balance, I felt so blessed. I had enough money, and now I'm all set for this semester. I sent some books for some money and that didn't cost me anything. That was nice.
Now I'm in Common Grounds, spending some time with Katherine, and Mila too, later. It feels weird, because I feel like I should be doing something. I need to be okay with just being. Now that I'm going to be on campus, there's going to be more "be" time, and I will need to find the places that I feel the most comfortable to do that. There is a wondrous prayer room with a piano in Northlawn, directly below my suite a couple floors. I'm looking forward to having lots and lots of piano time in there.
I'm on a knitting hoodie high right now, and I want to make lots and lots of hoodies for everyone!!!
This is exciting: I can safely say that I won't be unintentionally breaking any EMU rules by spending too many nights in a row on campus, or having to beg people to pay for me to eat in the caf. This feels great, because there is ownership in that.
I actually got to eat breakfast in the caf, and I don't remember the last time I did that. I don't even think I did that very much when I lived in Elmwood, but there seems like no point to not walk down the four flights of stairs to get to the caf when it's right there, and I don't even have to walk outside.
My room is officially starting to feel like home. There is a collage wall right above my bed, which I hope to add to as much as possible.
I paid my balance at the business office this morning, after a chilly walk to the bank to extract all my funds from my checking account. Then someone who knew my family when we went to Lindale (which was in 1996 and 1997, btw) picked me up halfway home and gave me a ride to the Commons. That was cool. I love having Mennonite connections.
When I paid my balance, I felt so blessed. I had enough money, and now I'm all set for this semester. I sent some books for some money and that didn't cost me anything. That was nice.
Now I'm in Common Grounds, spending some time with Katherine, and Mila too, later. It feels weird, because I feel like I should be doing something. I need to be okay with just being. Now that I'm going to be on campus, there's going to be more "be" time, and I will need to find the places that I feel the most comfortable to do that. There is a wondrous prayer room with a piano in Northlawn, directly below my suite a couple floors. I'm looking forward to having lots and lots of piano time in there.
I'm on a knitting hoodie high right now, and I want to make lots and lots of hoodies for everyone!!!
Thursday, January 06, 2011
We love long hair! Why?
Or we love hair that's layered, to our shoulders, the declaration of normal for American teenagers.
High schoolers, college girls, the average is long. Layers. Wear it straight, wear it scrunched, curl it!, braid it.
The latter is the reason I keep my hair long. Otherwise, if I don't have knitting, I get bored and unbearable.
More recently, Marie and I have been thinking about taking the plunge together, to go for a shorter pixieish cut. The more I think about it, the more I can't wait.
I like my curls, they are wavy and fun, but I am starting to get sick of tangles and the flyaways.
It's like a cleansing for your scalp, a weight lifted off your shoulders.
I was going to do dreads. And then shave my head.
I could still do that.
Once spring comes around, and Marie is done with Prom, it's gone.
I'm going to hold true to that promise I made to my hair dresser, that one that began, "one of these days, you are going to get to go crazy with my hair"
Patience is a virtue.
I sometimes love long hair.
High schoolers, college girls, the average is long. Layers. Wear it straight, wear it scrunched, curl it!, braid it.
The latter is the reason I keep my hair long. Otherwise, if I don't have knitting, I get bored and unbearable.
More recently, Marie and I have been thinking about taking the plunge together, to go for a shorter pixieish cut. The more I think about it, the more I can't wait.
I like my curls, they are wavy and fun, but I am starting to get sick of tangles and the flyaways.
It's like a cleansing for your scalp, a weight lifted off your shoulders.
I was going to do dreads. And then shave my head.
I could still do that.
Once spring comes around, and Marie is done with Prom, it's gone.
I'm going to hold true to that promise I made to my hair dresser, that one that began, "one of these days, you are going to get to go crazy with my hair"
Patience is a virtue.
I sometimes love long hair.
I'm knitting a hoodie.
It's true.
I really wasn't going to blog about anything. I just woke up, and I was trying to add someone to follow--all my friends are going on their cross culturals (or are already gone, and most of them are blogging or emailing), and somehow I ended up clicking on the "New Post" button twice. So I decided to post.
I am knitting a hoodie, as the title states and as the first line of the post clarifies.
It looks like Joesph's TECHNICOLOR Dream Coat.
I'm serious. I couldn't be more happy about it.
Considering I have no money for yarn and this is basically all I got (give or take a few skeins) for Christmas in the yarn department, it might be a little while until I get to make another one.
I still have to replace the light on the back of my car and maybe the one on the front too (something happened finals week. There was snow on the ground. That's my excuse)
But anyway. I was going to make this hoodie for Marie. Because we have been talking about it for a little while. But I'm thinking of keeping it for a little while. It is my colors, after all. And it's amazing.
Did I tell you that I fell in love with my hoodie that I'm knitting?
Among other things,
I miss Bekah, Meg, Jamila, Ben, Mike, Andrew, Joanna, Samuel, Abi, Lizzie, Graceanne and so many more people from Kansas, from school, that I don't see very much of. Or when I'm at school, I see them all the time.
But to those of you who are going on cross cultural: Don't think about those of us in America too much, it will take away from the awesomeness of being an alien! Immerse yourself in the language and culture. Relish in your mistakes, learn from your experiences. Take pictures of grand sunsets, deep valleys, high waterfalls. Make friends! Not just with your fellow EMU students, but with those who are native to the country. Be as social as you are at EMU--that's the only way you can learn the language.
Lots of love, mittens, glittens, socks, hats, scarves, and now hoodies,
Grace
I really wasn't going to blog about anything. I just woke up, and I was trying to add someone to follow--all my friends are going on their cross culturals (or are already gone, and most of them are blogging or emailing), and somehow I ended up clicking on the "New Post" button twice. So I decided to post.
I am knitting a hoodie, as the title states and as the first line of the post clarifies.
It looks like Joesph's TECHNICOLOR Dream Coat.
I'm serious. I couldn't be more happy about it.
Considering I have no money for yarn and this is basically all I got (give or take a few skeins) for Christmas in the yarn department, it might be a little while until I get to make another one.
I still have to replace the light on the back of my car and maybe the one on the front too (something happened finals week. There was snow on the ground. That's my excuse)
But anyway. I was going to make this hoodie for Marie. Because we have been talking about it for a little while. But I'm thinking of keeping it for a little while. It is my colors, after all. And it's amazing.
Did I tell you that I fell in love with my hoodie that I'm knitting?
Among other things,
I miss Bekah, Meg, Jamila, Ben, Mike, Andrew, Joanna, Samuel, Abi, Lizzie, Graceanne and so many more people from Kansas, from school, that I don't see very much of. Or when I'm at school, I see them all the time.
But to those of you who are going on cross cultural: Don't think about those of us in America too much, it will take away from the awesomeness of being an alien! Immerse yourself in the language and culture. Relish in your mistakes, learn from your experiences. Take pictures of grand sunsets, deep valleys, high waterfalls. Make friends! Not just with your fellow EMU students, but with those who are native to the country. Be as social as you are at EMU--that's the only way you can learn the language.
Lots of love, mittens, glittens, socks, hats, scarves, and now hoodies,
Grace
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