It's 7am and I am in our bathroom pumping and drinking a cup of coffee, blogging and listening to Naisa talk to herself and hoping Yonah stays asleep. It is hard to do pumping at night with such a small baby because he can wake up hungry for more when I'm already pumping in the other room, giving me two options: unplug-feed baby-then Start over, or move my pumping self into the bedroom, replug the pump into the wall, and multitask the bottle into the baby's mouth. And that has been what I have been doing nearly every time.
It's more challenging now because Yonah is still so much in the tiny baby stage. Once he hits like four months, we'll be in a sweet spot. Naisa is also at a challenging stage-not quite ready to play on the playground by herself. . . But she thinks she is. And gives a fit if she I redirect her to do something else.
As I think back, I don't feel too much like I had such a huge hurdle once the baby popped out (besides breastfeeding, and keeping up with cleaning). I realize that's because I have been processing the addition to the family since we found out we were pregnant. I have been pondering the idea, praying about it, worrying about it, having expectations. Because this was the second time around, I took on labor as part of the puzzle and not the pinnacle event (as I have a habit of doing with almost every big life event). So when it was happening, I treasured it, but I knew it was the beginning, not the end (not "happily ever after" part of the story. I went in knowing that there are more challenges than just birth (birth is the easy part of the challenge for me). Breast feeding exclusively has been the unattainable achievement thus far. I realize that the issue remains that his mouth is tiny, my nipples are huge, and there IS something going on under his tongue and on his lip, although the latch he gets is a good latch (though shallow), he fusses and pulls and doesn't stay on for more than a couple minutes sometimes, and does not remove very much milk when his is there. He falls asleep often, and as I am trying to maintain a supply I have to pump and bottle feed him after he breast attempts... This is most of my day.
The biggest challenges now are communication with Naisa. Yonah is no problem because he only needs a couple things: a clean diaper, a full belly, no gas, and to be held and burped. Naisa needs to go out, for mommy to hold things (many, many things), to eat and drink and be all done and to play with cups and to go for walks and play with other kids. And then there are the things she wants! And they are often not what I'll let her do. Sometimes, when I am pumping or breast feeding and I can't get up, I attempt to get her to bring me what I need, a diaper, a burp cloth, a shirt, a pen, my phone, etc. and most of the time she goes into autopilot assessing the situation. Example:
Mommy has been burping baby Yonah and he has spit up. Mommy has no burp cloth within reach.
"Naisa, can you get me my shirt?"
Naisa: "nana mess!"
Mommy: "yes, Nana (blanket) is a mess. Can you get me my shirt now?"
Naisa: "baby (indecipherable) nana un a mess!"
Mommy: "Naisa! Shirt Now!"
I get frustrated easily sometimes.
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