I was reading my Facebook feed. Videos and articles pop up about death, injury, pain and suffering, especially in children. I can't read them. I can't even look at them. I feel it. I feel it in my whole body and I have to move on.
I cannot read the news. I cannot listen to videos. I put myself in their positions.
What if? What if? What if? How can anyone TAKE IT??
I don't want to push away the validity of the things that happen. But I do--I push away the pain before I experience the pain that other people have surrounding them.
I hate it because when I see a video of a Syrian baby looking at a large photo of his daddy that was killed, I lose it. I imagine my children without parents. I imagine myself without a husband. I imagine myself without my children. I take steps back. I get off the Internet. I get out of my head.
I don't want to think about the possibility of something like that happening to me.
But I know eventually there will be people close to me in my family who die. And I will have to mourn them. And I'm sure it will all be different than the projected suffering I have in my head.
But since I cannot avoid any of it. I just pray the Lord give me peace in whatever situation I find myself in. And the knowledge that I will see them in heaven.
No comments:
Post a Comment