Sometimes Life Throws You Screaming Toddlers.

I have to keep reminding myself that I can't do everything on my own.
Sometimes I forget.
And Naisa reminds me.

In a busy market surrounded by hundreds of people,
who don't completely understand.

Why is that toddler crying in the middle of the aisle by herself? "Whose child is that?"

Oh, that's my child. The one who is too stubborn to stand up and walk by herself and can't remember that Mommy is already carrying her brother in a carrier and the soap she bought and the coffee that the sympathizing woman (THANK YOU) purchased for her.

Sometimes na-nuh (the blanket) is dropped out of her hands on purpose and we need to cry about it a couple of minutes before we realize that we can pick it up and move on.

Sometimes we need to do it several times.

Someone offered to carry her for me to my car. But I said it was okay--I thought she would get her act together and stand up and walk and hold my hand and listen to mommy. But she was tired, and a runny nose had started yesterday and clogged last night and she had already had several fits.

I knew Naisa was too far gone when another toddler came up to her and asked her what happened and tried to help her up. That's when I started tearing up.

And again when she refused to stand up and only wanted to be held by Mommy as a very helpful young lady offered to carry her to my car. Naisa wrestled herself out of her arms, SCREAMING bloody murder for na-nuh (who was in her arms) and mommy (who was right next to her). Then the kind coffee lady held my wallet and purchases and walked them to the car.

And then Yonah started screaming as we drove off and fell asleep in the carrier because I couldn't wait any longer to leave before I would lose it. He fell asleep by the time we were on Wolfe street, but I could feel the adrenaline pulsing through my body, begging time to arrive us at home so I could slow down my mind again.

But I didn't get mad. I didn't angry-lose it.

But I did just finish a small bowl of very sweet chocolate chips.
And now I am tired.

Naisa wanted to go outside and I hadn't taken her with me yesterday so I determined that she could come.
I thought about bringing her back inside after it took me fifteen minutes to put the car seats for both children in the car, but she was outside and I didn't want her to have loud fits at home because Ben was sleeping and Grandma had already helped in so many ways.
So I brought her along.
But I didn't have to.

I didn't realize how tired I was until we were surrounded by people and my screaming daughter would not be consoled by anyone but me.

Let this be a reminder for me that I am allowed to make things easier for myself. I do not need to be a people pleaser. I can ask for help.

What's your story? Have you been there?