I am Determined to be a Success Story

So this post is something I was thinking about the other week. . .

Now that Yonah is sleeping normal "ish", we are between transitions so Naisa is also behaving better, I am getting to exercise. My mind is in the coreect shape for it this time, as well.

Here's what I mean. My body image esteem has gone through the roof since Yonah was born. Honestly it was breastfeeding that did it. I'm SO THANKFUL for the fact that my body can successfully feed Yonah "from the tap". Pumping was okay, but it was so many extra steps and hurt most of the time and was stressful most of the time. Breastfeeding, and seeing my chubby chubs keep growing is such a feeling of accomplishment. It has helped me (finally) put the importance of being fit, getting to my previous previous weight, on the back burner. But not in a bad way. I am eating healthy, and exercising either a little or a lot every day. But the number on the scale no longer punches me in the face when I see it. I know what it is, and I'm at peace with it.

I am doing an exercise program called T-tapp. It's a no impact workout that uses isometric tension to work your muscles. It helps you align your spine and exercise in alignment and activate many different muscles at the same time. There are many many variations of this workout and I am doing the most basic of all the workouts, called Basic Workout Plus (which is fifteen minutes), and I am (finally) getting started learning the Total Workout (which includes the basic workout, and is fifty five minutes). One of the things I love about it is that instead of in pounds, you measure your progress by your measurements (in inches) going down. This is great because you are building muscle to replace fat and sometimes the scale doesn't change (and thus doesn't show progress) when that is happening.

Another really important thing that I've been thinking about right now is the need for a detox, which isn't going to happen anytime soon, because I'll be nursing for a long, long time. :) But I am sensing I need it, because of all the junk I consumed (like diet soda, low calorie bread, and fat free ice cream, milk, cream cheese; tofu, soy sauce, and various junk food) when I was in middle school, high school, and college. 

Anyway, I am determined to be a success story because I need to be for my own being. I need to feel good on the inside to be the best wife and mom. so I am being active (and I CAN be active because I don't have to pump!!).

The other reason I am being active is this prolapse. Nobody talked to me about this kind of thing when I was pregnant either time, but it is more common than I anticipated. (and I'm glad for that, because I have resources). But t-tapp is good for prolapse because it strengthens the pelvic floor through the various positions held through the workout. Walking is also very good for it. I'm hoping to get this Pelvic floor workout DVD soon called Hab-it, to specifically strengthen my pelvic floor, and the surrounding muscles.

My Crappy Morning (so far!) (concidered Oversharing and TMI)

I gave you a warning in the title, but so you know, this talks about lots of poop or different consistencies and textures, about organs not being in the right place, and about female post birth complications that sometimes occur. No whining!

Let me begin that I am dealing with a very recently prolapsed rectum (called a rectocele) and possibly a prolapsed uterus that I have told very few people about so far (sorry mom). It began on Monday (?) or Sunday, when I was constipated (again), and I realized that the only way for the poop to come out was to apply pressure to the bulge in my vagina and then bear down to remove my hard turd.

Most people get pretty upset when they discover this sort of thing (the prolapse, not the constipation... although I do get upset when I'm constipated). At first I was pretty bummed, but I am feeling positive (because it's not too severe), hopeful (because I know what to do to help it) and frustrated (why did it have to happen the week AFTER I had my pelvic exam to check for it?!). Luckly two step kegels and walking (and soft poop! More on this in a moment!) are the best remedies. and time.

OK. So on Monday this issue and constipation occurred. I feel a very intense urgency (psychologically) to get it out because NO ONE wants a compacted bowel or conventional laxatives to be needed, but this poop was slow to go. It was coming in chunks or four inches at a time and I was all like that kid after the dentist (Is this going to be FOREVER??). So I increased my probiotics (which are heavy duty anyway) and I increased my coconut oil chocolate consumption (it's always helped before! And what a great appetite/sweet craving quencher it is! try it, it's not just for pooping! 1 T. coconut oil, 2 T. cocoa powder, 1/4-1/2 t. honey)

So as we are packing and emptying our apartment (but not my bowel, boo hoohoo) I am dealing with this, but also drinking less water, which exasperates the issue at hand (I've been chuggin' the last few days). We drove to PA on Tuesday afternoon (and I slacked on my veggie and water consumption) and was still having issues (both bulgey and hard poopy, but I was getting lots of nice sounding and smelling farts) on Wednesday. At this point I'm thinking that I'll hard poop and farts the rest of my life, when this (Thursday) morning, at 7, I have a soft log poop. This is ideal! Yay! I had no need to "assist" myself. I had been drinking coffee and had another piece of coconut oil chocolate around this time, though not thinking much of it.

And then I feel another urge to purge coming along. I'm nursing Yonah, so I wait patiently, then put the baby down and go upstairs with Naisa (yes, she accompanied me to the loo) and water poop in the pot. For awhile. I'm thinking I've thoroughly emptied the plumbing, and I continue with my morning. I'm nursing the hunka chunka cuteness (Yonah) when I unconsciously start to fart... and then I remember the liquid that was previously removed from my anus and high tail it to the powder room. I have sharted a shit bit in my undies. Crap. so I sit and let loose (not much "letting" at this point), and have officially reached the raw ouchie anus point.

I'm hoping I don't have anymore trips after this.

Moral of the story: Don't overdo your natural stool softeners. They will destroy you.