Mini Transition

I could get used to being at home.
In fact, I did. But I have come back to school.
Those eight hour LONG car rides really wear me out. Being dehydrated & having caffeine crashes--getting back just in time to study for an Elroy Exam (defn: Epic essays, and if missing any piece of information from the question, points docked off), which requires hours of meaningless studying because almost none of it is on the exam.
Then there were epic pains in the abdomen in combination with not having enough time to get coffee for the morning, and I was off to school to dread myself through the actual exam. Going in kicking and screaming calls for kicking and screaming moments mid-question 1, mid question 4, and mid question 5.
Then it was over, and I was almost compulsive with hug needs and my inability to have a happy mood.
Tim, an angel, provided some Tylenol (Extra Strength) during Exploring Social Work, where I also found out my mid-term was not in vain (93% A).
Then Mila and I (meaning: just me) went to get the drugs for the day. Now, two cups of coffee and an ounce of chocolate covered espresso beans later, I am functioning enough to smile at people.

I just hate the feeling of putting half of my classes on the back burner because I have needy professors. How on earth does everyone else handle getting through Social Stratification and Social Welfare history and Philosophy? Will next semester be easier? Maybe. I think that idea that I can count (on three and a half fingers) how many semesters of this I have left certainly helps.
But then where does life lead me? I used to think I had all this together, not now the world is my whetstone (is that the quote?). I think it would be more appropriate to say that the world is my sandstone. It's easier to shape. (and as I was thinking of the right rock, manure pile went through my head) The Whetstone just lights the fire. What do I do with my life?? Maybe I'll grow a garden and water it with my tears. Maybe I'll sing a song and cause someone to cry. Maybe I'll change the world with my college education. But maybe the world will change me because I spent all this time getting a college education.

I want more. I want less. I want someone. I want no one. I want no more. I want everything. I desire nothing. I'm broken. I'm mended. I'm getting there. Thus goes the wave of grace.