Finishing Flushing. Or just beginning

Here I am at the end of my three months already. And more and more, I realize that life is life, and everything changes. High school is now a distant memory or something I used to do and someone I used to be. My music has changed, my heart has changed. My motivations are for different ears to hear. I go through stages of being the listener and being the talker, and I'm learning how to love the talkers I know, and learn to listen to them, even when it gets really painful. This trip has challenged me. It's challenged me to decide when I can give, and when I should limit myself because I'm too exhausted to function. I've felt stretched and pulled like silly putty, and then crammed back into a container. To a point on this trip, I've felt used. I've served and planned a program that was an idea that was not my own, not my original plan. But in the ways I have felt this way, I also know that there is so much I've benefited from every second of being here. Ever second, I have benefited, and to a point, being used is a feeling that everyone feels all the time. But if we love each other, we look past the feeling of being used, and see that we are giving of ourselves to help others, even if they don't see it right away, or if they don't appreciate it. In that way, I don't view this trip with me as a puppet. I am a human, with no comparison to a puppet. God gives me the nudges I need to keep going when I need to keep going, and rest when I need to rest. He leads me to speak when something needs to be said, and when to shut my mouth.
Though I'm not in the same place I was at the beginning of my summer break, I still feel the same way about my Major choice, and I am excited to begin taking the multitude of classes that is the Social Work Major starting August 31st. Though at the beginning of the summer I was planning on living in the dorm with a wonderful roommate, I know that God is working in me, and the fact that I'll be living with my grandparents this semester. Even though I know that these friendships that I've built while I was here were very shortlived, I know that the connectiions I've made with people are going to stay connected, because we have an Awesome Common Ground of God, and we have know Him together--that is enough for me. I know that I was only in a piece of some people's lives--I was there on church, I was at the summer program, I was the white neighbor who lived upstairs, but I collided the worlds for some. I want the world of Flushing to collide with the rest of my life. I want to bring my little sister here and get her some Bubble Tea. I want to take Anna running through Kissena Park. I want to introduce my dad to Mark and my mom to Judy.
And I said I would come back. And I plan to, someday. We will see where God leads my feet and my heart.