Getting used to being a mommy

So Naisa is now two weeks and three days old.

The first two weeks were pretty difficult for us, losing sleep and breastfeeding woes, but we have begun to straighten things out. Naisa had to start supplementing with formula because she wasn't getting enough breastmilk from me, and was subsequently under birth weight at her two week appointment.

But once we started formula, it explained all the intense crying and the hungry after nursing for an hour. Now we have a calm baby who only cries when we don't give her food soon enough.

And my nipples are surviving. They were dreadfully sore from the first two weeks--and looked so bad that I'm just pumping right now to get them healed up so we can try breastfeeding again later. We're getting connected with WIC again because they have free lactation consultants (and free hospital-grade breast pumps), and we're also getting connected with Le Leche League. I would love to be able to breast feed Naisa, but that would have to involve her getting a good latch, which is the main reason for my atrocious nipples.

Ben is getting better at changing diapers. I'm enjoying carting Naisa around in my baby carrier and today we went for a walk. I'm also enjoying having Naisa sleep on my belly. She likes it because it's warm and it's Mommy. . . But I'm having trouble being patient with pumping. I have to do it often, because if I don't, my breasts leak like crazy, and my ducts get clogged. I'm also having trouble being patient with how much milk I'm getting out. I feel like I'm not getting enough and it won't be enough when Naisa does start breastfeeding again. If that happens. I hope it does, but at this point I'm trying not to think about the pain, and I'm hoping for a good latch. Naisa saw a baby chiropractor and he said she had some tension in her neck and jaw, but also that she had a lip tie and a sublingual tongue tie that may be an issue for breastfeeding. And if this is the case, it may be much more difficult to get back into it (especially because the solutions for the tongue and lip ties are a good bit more expensive than just removing tension).

So Ben and I are feeling a bit of the stress that comes with being new parents. And in addition to that, we are feeling the stress of finding a job after Ben graduates, and the stress of having homework when there are so many other tasks that need to happen and I can't do all of them, and it's hard to do some of them when I'm feeding Naisa and pumping so often. And finding time to just hang out.

We're doing okay. But we're also looking forward to when Naisa gets into a schedule with feedings and naptimes. And when she starts to smile and giggle. And walk. . .